Tips for a stay at home dad?

[Silvercreek Farmer]

I noticed in another thread that several members are stay at home dads. I was wondering if you had any tips from a man's prospective. I have been working in the corporate world for 10 years while my wife worked part time, doing most of the housework afternoon child care and related items. There is a chance that her current part time job could become a pretty good full time job in a year or two, and we have considered swapping out our roles in the household. One, because, I am ready for something different, and two because we figure our two boys (currently 6 & 10) need to spend more time with their father learning how to be men. I am perfectly capable of doing all the cooking/cleaning ect, and will probably try to move the farm work into the day rather than doing it all on nights and weekends like I do now. I figure I'll be alright as long as I stay busy and don't decide to eat in front of the television all day or crack a beer before supper!

[Blammer]

time flies, there is never enough time from when they go to school to when they get home. :)

You have to plan your day's or they'll slip by and you'll get nothing done.

Get up when they get up and get dressed with a plan of action. Have pupose as if you're going to a full time job.If you just "do whatever" "whenever" it needs to be done, you'll get nothing done.

Make a list of stuff that needs to get done, then a list of things you want to do. It helps you stay motivated.

oh yea, and just because you're working on a project, remember you are not generating income you are spending it, so be THRIFTY, otherwise you'll work yourself into debt.

[Crawdaddy]

My tip for you: ENJOY!

I wouldve loved to stay home with the kids, unfortunatley it wasnt financially feasible. It is hard work, taking care of kids and cooking is a full time job albeit a rewarding one.

[shooterg]

Make sure you have chores they can help with - should be no trouble on a farm .

And better nap when they do ! 'Cause they will wear you out.

[Silvercreek Farmer]

Blammer, one of the things my wife often comments on is the lack of adult conversation, (hence the barrage when I walk in the door, exhausted!). Do you experience this?

[Silvercreek Farmer]

Make sure you have chores they can help with - should be no trouble on a farm .

And better nap when they do ! 'Cause they will wear you out.

Sadly, naps are a thing of the past! Right now they are really good at carrying firewood and general picking up, semi-supervised, but most other tasks require pretty close supervision so I end up doing them my self just to get them knocked out. But I am hoping that with a little more time, I can let them get involved more turning wrenches ect.

[Duckiller]

Even if it takes longer to do a job let the boys do it. It is the only way hey can learn. You all may be frusteted for awhile. But they will learn and you will all be happy.

[10x]

I was a stay at home dad for 25 years.
My kids friends thought it was neat and envied my kids.
My kids friends mothers thought it was great and they became my support group and social group.
Their husbands resented me because I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, yardwork, and volunteer work at the schools.
After a while it was like having a dozen wives. I got to fix plumbing, do repairs and renovations, all in return for baby sitting. Here is the wife part. After a few years some of them would nag if I didn't get to their job fast enough.
My house became the home of choice for their kids when they needed a baby sitter.

One of the pluses you can do is when you plan a job - involve your children and always be patient and never give them jobs they will fail at or are tedious. Kids like success and like a challenge.
You have the opportunity to give your kids stories they can tell your grandchildren and great grandchildren.

[phaessler]

I have been a stay-at-home Dad , for the past 7 years. Since we moved south actually. My wife has a very good profession, stressful, but good, and it doesnt make sense to use my earning to pay for childcare, sitters, travel expense to and from, etc.... We did that for the first 7 years with our kids, and I dont think the wife would have me work full-time again if she could, trying part-time now and have some side work which is regular $$$$.
You have to treat it like a job, get up, get everyone going, to work, school or whatever. And have a list of things to do on certain days if your going to help out with the chores (cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc)
The interaction and relationship I have with my wife and kids are the envy of everyone , kids are real good learners early on. They have a routine, and after school hobbies too, but I cant express how good it is to be there when they need you, and how much better the wife is knowing who is watching "the store".
(not to mention I cook 6 days out of 7 most weeks. And make all the lunches)
Best part is , I actually get enough done on a schedule, where I get goof off time, and hunt/shoot/cast more now than ever, and the kids do alot with me. But you'll get time off when the kids miss the wife and want to be her shadow.
Alot of good advice posted here, and above all in todays wacky world, gotta take care of your family, and home family values are important.
Pete

[x101airborne]

You have to have a schedule. Otherwise you will do a lot of "I will get to it later". There has to be self structure and a list of accomplishments or goals. One thing that will keep you in good graces, when the wife gets home, have a glass of tea or whatever beverage of choice she wants. It is not to kiss up to her, it is to keep her from nagging you. Then you are not ignoring her, you are giving her time to relax while you are doing other things. You will be surprised how much time you can really have to yourself if you maintain a schedule. My boys are 10 and 2. Plan dinners ahead, dont get into the liquor cabinet, keep the loading sessions short and you will be set for success.

[Springfield]

I've been a stay at home dad of about 8 years now, and do my leather work while they are gone to keep from going bankrupt. So I gotta get things done in the morning because after the kids get home and even more so when the wife gets home you can't count on having any work time. The most difficult part of it for me was training the wife to understand I am AT WORK, so no, I can't do a bunch of errands during the day, and don't call me on the phone to whine about work or chat. After I help the kids with their homework and take them to soccer/Cub Scouts/Girl Scouts or music lessons I try and get some more work done but it isn't easy, so you REALLY can't waste the morning/early afternoon. A schedule of chores/ work helps, and don't run around town a lot. I try to go to the post office only twice a week. Funny, all I heard for the last 7 years was how I didn't have a REAL job and we would have more money if I did, so I applied for a part-time bus driving position with the local transit line. BOY, did she backpedal then!" Who is going to help them with homework and take them everywhere and I don't trust the daycare to take care of my kids and....." I still may take the job, may not, but it sure helped get rid of the whining. My daughter just started middle school(6th grade here) and the homework load tripled. I don't know what would have happened if I wasn't here to help. She sure couldn't have done it on her own and still get the A's and B's she gets now.

[facetious]

Tip: beer is for breakfast , not supper.:2 drunk buddies:

[smokeywolf]

I became a single parent when my 1st son was not quite 3 years old. I was mom and dad for 9 years. 3rd and 4th sons are 12 and 11. Having done it all in the past made being a stay at home dad fairly easy. Previous posts are right on; set goals, make plans, or nothing gets done.
The big plus, time with your kids. That's huge!

I am looking at going back to work at least part time.

smokeywolf

[blackthorn]

My tip applies to either "house dads" or "day workers"---If you start an ugly job, stick with it until its finished! If you start on something you don't like and then use some other work as an excuse to put the ugly job aside it never gets done and often you have to start from the beginning each time you pick it up! Good luck in your new role!

[jmsj]

I was sort of a stay at home dad for a short while about 12 years ago. The guys are right on about treat it like a job.
Get up early, put the same effort into it as if was a paying job, be organized and get the work done as fast as doing a good job is possible. If you do these things you will be amazed how much available time you will have.
About a dozen years ago the ranch I was working for was wiped out from the drought. I was left without a job. My wife went to work for a bank 35 miles away. I would get up the same time as when I was foreman of the ranch (5:30 AM). Get our 2 year old up, fed, dressed, dishes done, get some laundry started and some houskeeping done. I would be done by 8:30- 9: 00 AM. Then I would go shoe horses, do some gunsmithing or some side job. Most of the time I was able to take our daughter w/ me. Those times spent with her are some of my fondest memories.
We would try to get back by 4:00-4:30 and start some supper, finsh up laundry and houskeeping. There was usually nothing to do in the evenings other than the evening dishes and my wife would help me with those.
I really enjoyed this lifestyle but it did not keep the bills completely caught up. Another ranch called me about 4 months into this and offered me a full time job. I accepted the job and ended my "Mr. Mom" role.
I really enjoyed this time. I believe that it built a real closeness with my daughter and I. Although we are now starting into her teen years and that has a whole bunch of stuff I don't understand.
Good luck, jmsj

[Blammer]

Blammer, one of the things my wife often comments on is the lack of adult conversation, (hence the barrage when I walk in the door, exhausted!). Do you experience this?

YES and YES!

when the kids were younger say 3-5, I longed for adult conversation. hence I was on the chat forum here a LOT.

and yes I ambushed my wife for adult things to talk about. I also found that at times I "forgot" how to talk like an adult!

[fatnhappy]

I was a stay at home dad until my son was in first grade. Technically speaking, I held a full time job too working Friday to Sunday.

It was the most rewarding thing I've ever done.


Be prepared for sidelong glances when you attend school functions during the day. You'll be the only man. The very best part of being a stay at home dad is going to the zoo on a Tuesday because you can, or going fishing with your best buddy.

[bowfin]

123456

[**oneshot**]

I'm a stay at home dad (aka Mr Mom). I have a schedule revolving around the kids. I honestly don't know how I had time to go to work. Try to get things done while the kids are at school is best. Learn to live by your phone calender, putting in all dr, dentist, events in there. I plan my days around this calender.

[JeffinNZ]

Do what HAS to be done first then what you want to do. My wife is very easily distracted and can lose a day at the click of a finger. I get things done and if anything go looking for house work when I really have earner 'man cave time'.

[Ickisrulz]

I have been home with the kids for 4 years now since retiring from the USAF. I homeschool also.

I do what works for me and don't try to do it anyone else's way, especially a woman's. I'm not being insulting, it's just men are not women and we don't do things the same way and shouldn't try.

I make sure the school work comes first. This means certain subjects and a certain number of pages of work each day. Next, I make sure I don't put my wife in the spot to do what I have more time for. That means I cook dinner, do the shopping and housework. I am pretty good about comprehensive cleaning, but I always make sure she doesn't walk in the door to a cluttered mess. I don't have much of a schedule beyond the school work.

I have plenty of time to do what I need for myself. I spend about an hour a day reloading and am also completing a masters program. It's a good life.

[Silvercreek Farmer]

Wanted to resurrect this thread to let those that contributed know that our plan is about to become reality. Let the boolit casting begin!! Can't wait to start enjoying all the hunting and fishing I have been missing out on!

[tigweldit]

A slow cooker (crock pot) can become your best friend. You can load it up the night before, put in fridge overnight,or first thing in the morning. Whenever your ready for dinner, its ready. The house will smell like you have been cooking all day. That will make the wife smile when she comes through the door. Very important. Get a cook book or two. They help. Wife's choice of beverage waiting for her is also good advice. My time as "Mr. Mom" was some of the best time of my life!

[Plate plinker]

Might be headed in this direction myself.

[bayjoe]

I am to big of a chicken to do what my wife did. There are no words that can say how much I admire my wife for raising our kids and working a full time job.
When are kids finally grew up and moved out I was finally able to support us with just my check and my wife retired and she deserves to sleep in and stay at home.

[Geezer in NH]

Be very careful of stay home soccer mom coffee buddies! :bigsmyl2:

[Plate plinker]

Be very careful of stay home soccer mom coffee buddies! :bigsmyl2:

Why? What could possibly happen a bunch of women trying to shoot my guns?

[smokeywolf]

Why? What could possibly happen a bunch of women trying to shoot my guns?

"This is my rifle, this is my gun. My rifle's for fighting, my gun is for fun."

[Col4570]

There is always,Embroidery,Knitting and Quilt Making.Just Joking.

[Hickok]

Blammer, one of the things my wife often comments on is the lack of adult conversation, (hence the barrage when I walk in the door, exhausted!). Do you experience this?Friend will all do![smilie=s:

I think it goes clear back to Adam and Eve. Eve talked on and on about that apple so long, poor old Adam finally took a bite out of it just so she would give him a chance to say something!!!:bigsmyl2: