Checking out for awhile...

[FergusonTO35]

No, this has nothing to do with the election.

I have been on this great forum for about six months now and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Cast boolits have really brought a new and fun dimension to shooting and hunting. You guys have got me successfully casting and shooting boolits with little difficulty. I have learned alot here and several members have gone well out of their way to help me. There are too many to name, Baron von Trollwhack and Keith the Perfessor come to mind. Anyway you guys know who you are. THANK YOU!!!:cbpour:

I'm going to take an extended sabbatical from casting, reloading, shooting and hunting because I have a real mess in my life that I need to clean up with The Lord's help. In a nutshell, my marriage, career, and finances are in really bad shape and I need to devote 100% of my time and efforts to them. This will be the first year since I was five years old that I won't be going hunting. Yes, its that serious. I am thankful that I was faced with this situation now instead of later, especially since I don't yet have children and haven't completely trashed my marriage. In case anyone is wondering substance abuse, domestic violence, and adultery are not among the problems we are facing.

So, please keep me and my wife and family in your prayers. We sure need it. I am confident that we can get through this, its just going to require 100% of me for some time. I will check my PM's here as often as I am able but won't be on the boards.

You guys rock, and I'll holler at you later. Lance

[MakeMineA10mm]

Lance,
Good luck, and take care. Sounds like you are making a good decision as far as prioritizing. Prayers sent.

[btroj]

Nice to see a guy with his priorities straight.
Best of luck on getting things in order.

[Wayne Smith]

Congratulations for a very good, adult decision. Find a good, Christian marriage therapist and work on the relationship. Finances need to be addressed on the basis of reality, always go to the numbers and don't argue about what is done but focus on what can be done. Sacrifice is fundamental to making a marriage work, almost as fundamental as forgiveness.

[WILCO]

Good luck Lance.

[jabo52521]

GOD bless you. We await your return.

Joe

[blackthorn]

The best of luck in the comming months and we will look forward to your return when things are settled!

[farmallcrew]

Prayers sent your way. There is always light at the other end of the tunnel. Its not always a happy trip. But keep your head high and head clear and good things will go your way.

[Olevern]

Prayers from N. central Pa. +1 on the good, Christian counselor. Surviving the first ten years of marriage is hard work but, with some of that hard work and valuing your spouse and her needs over your own puts you on a sure path to much better years to come.

Nothing (read No Thing) is worth more than relationships.

Not having a responsible financial plan will put more stress on a marriage than most anything else.

Get that house in order and the rest will come easier.

It is apparent from your decision (as stated) that you believe that there is something there worth salvaging. As you no doubt know, communication is the key, that and negotiating. Remember, a successful negotiation leaves both parties not receiving 100% of what they ideally wanted...the love makes up for it....If you had wanted to have everything your own way you would have stayed single, right?

Talk together, set a time to meet at least once a week when you will discuss how you are progressing...set goals for your relationship and discuss how to meet them.

And, then, pray about it together and God will bless your combined effort.

My first question to a couple coming to counseling is always posed individually (not with both present) and is "Is there something in this relationship that you value and that is worth the effort to try to put it right?" and "despite the difficulties which brought you to counseling, do you still love your spouse?" Negative answers here indicate that you are probably wasting your time.

Your answers to these questions undoubtedly mean that, with proper nurture, the relationship can be restored and thrive.

Don't give up....keep comunicating the issues and negotiating resolutions. Again....it is a give and take.

Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

[mroliver77]

I will pray for you and yours Lance. I wish you all the best. If you'uns need anything don't be afraid to ask.
Jay

[theperfessor]

Best to you Lance. No advice, just want you to know that we all will welcome you back whenever you're ready. Do what you have to do to get your life on track.

[linotype]

God bless, and take care.

[Hamish]

Looking forward to saying welcome back and glad things worked out.

[popper]

marriage, career, and finances All interlinked, but work on the finances first, the rest hopefully will fall into place. Chose counseling wisely, many have their own agenda. May the Spirit be with you.

[Jeff82]

All I can say is good luck. Sometimes our darkest moments are our finest hours.

[outdoorfan]

I've been there. Your family is the most important thing in life, apart from your relationship with Christ, if you indeed have one. Sounds like you do. I pray that God will honor your desire and efforts (that He's putting into and giving to you) to do the right thing and make the most important things the most important things. You are in my prayers.

[hiram1]

GOOD LUCK and i hope you and yours the best

[xbeeman412]

Willeep You in our prayers dailey.

[Dean D.]

Good luck Lance, we'll be here when you do get your life back in order. I tip my hat to you for recognizing there is a problem and deciding to remedy it. God Bless.

[FergusonTO35]

Thanks a lot guys.

[smoked turkey]

Lance I will also say prayers for you and your family situation. Yes that wife comes first. Good to see that you are willing to make the sacrifice to get things back on track. Jesus will help you through this. He values marriage and in fact His first miracle was at a wedding. He still does them today and He will do it for you and your wife.

[steelworker]

I would highly recomend that you look at Dave Ramsey's books....he has several out there. Total Money Makeover and Financial Peace are two awesome books. Check out your local library, they probably have them.

[Olevern]

Focus on the Family (Dr. Dobson's site) has some budgeting resources online if that would help.

http://www.mvelopes.com/focusonthefamily/

[Freightman]

You have seen that the answer is God, now spend some time each and every day in his word and listen to what it says. It will bring you peace that passes all understanding. Praying for you and your family.

[firefly1957]

Prayers everything works out and good luck.

[Bullet Caster]

Lance, prayers are sent out for you and your family from eastern TN. Keep the faith. When things seem at their worst, Christ will be there in all situations. Honor Him and he will honor you. I look forward to saying, "welcome back to the best danged site on the internet." Take care and may God richly bless you for your decisions to get things straightened out. BC

[FergusonTO35]

Thanks so much. Everything is doing better and I just completed lay speakers training for church. I'm also on a written budget which has stabilized my finances. Finally, I am making an effort to love and appreciate my wife more. I'm amazed at how much closer we have become. Hopefully I can get back to makin' boolits soon but still keep my priorities straight.

[smoked turkey]

Lance that sounds wonderful. It seems you are going down the right path. Don't let up on any of it. The lure of those things that had you messed up before is strong. It will take a dependence on God as well as strong determination to fully beat it. I think you are going to do it from the sounds of things. Praise the Lord.

[Olevern]

Continuing to lift you and yours up to the Throne Room of God. Stay strong and committed to biblical principals, the bible is the owner's manual to us and our relationships.

[Wayne Smith]

Remember that, for most of us, the basic problem is 'I want itis' or basic selfishness. After 37 years married my challenge is not "Do I love my wife?" but rather "Will I love my wife?" in my next choice or decision. Sometimes I take care of myself, but I have to always remember to love my wife first. This applies to all areas of life. Time management, money management, relationships, listening or not, etc.. In my case, since my wife loves God as well, usually taking care of her is also doing what is right in God's eyes. Remember that caring for another is not doing what they want me to do but rather doing what is good for them in spite of how I think it may effect me.

Building your relationship with God is done through Christian Discipline, not through Church attendance or Church work. My using disciplines of meditation, study, prayer, fasting, etc. build my relationship. Church is where I go to celebrate that relationship. If you are unfamiliar with these concepts I would recommend Richard Foster's A Celebration of Discipline. Get the book and begin to practice some of these disciplines and you will grow.

[outdoorfan]

Thanks so much. Everything is doing better and I just completed lay speakers training for church. I'm also on a written budget which has stabilized my finances. Finally, I am making an effort to love and appreciate my wife more. I'm amazed at how much closer we have become. Hopefully I can get back to makin' boolits soon but still keep my priorities straight.

Glad to hear it. Now, I don't necessarily know what's best for you, but nevertheless, I would suggest that you consider even more time away from your hobbies to further develop that one relationship that you can't afford to lose. I've been down that road, and for me one month wasn't even close to enough time. It's all about surrender, and the Lord commands that we have no idolatrous relationships, whatever it may be, even bullet casting and reloading, shooting, and hunting, when these things become "too" important to us and we get consumed by it. IMHO.

[FergusonTO35]

You're all right. I have been thinking a lot about how I'm spending my years here on earth. I've spent way too many years pleasing me and not The Lord.

[RugerFan]

God's speed and good luck.

[jmsj]

You're all right. I have been thinking a lot about how I'm spending my years here on earth. I've spent way too many years pleasing me and not The Lord.
Lance,
What you have written here says a lot about you. I believe that if you are ready to go all in with the Lord things will get better for you. It may take a while but stay strong and persevere. I will pray for strength and grace for you and your wife.
May God Bless, jmsj

[Frank46]

Lance, prayers sent your way to all involved. God does answer his requests for help and assistance. We'll be here waiting for you. Frank

[Just Duke]

A fresh start is always good. Worked for me many times. Keep hunting and shooting though. Hang out with us.

[JeffinNZ]

When you are ready to come back we will be here with space for you.

[FergusonTO35]

Thanks. Not only am I on a budget but I've made arrangements so that I pay the same amount on all my bills each paycheck, which makes things alot more predictable. The Lord is working in my life in subtle ways. I'm starting to see more opportunities for ministry and helping other people where I did not before. For example, last week I invited a complete stranger to church. I would never have had the courage to do that before!!