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Trey45
01-24-2012, 12:36 PM
(A letter from someone who wants to remain
anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this)

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on
corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this
adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle
feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one
will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the
back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get
up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and
transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle,
having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any
of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope.
The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist
and twisted the end so I would have a good hold..

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly
concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a
step away. I put a little tension on the rope .., and then received an
education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when
you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a
deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight
range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no Chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it
and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started
dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope
was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.. The only upside is
that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off
my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to
realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big
gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just
wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would
likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all
between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would
venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the
several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing
my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could
still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I
shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't
want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back
up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started
moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite?

They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite
somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that
rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is
not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let
go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD
and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was
likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be
questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the
tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope
loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their
back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are
surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a
horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best
thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the
animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not
work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed
like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to
try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance
that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from
horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the
second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me
down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately
leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do
instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there
crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I
know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to
sort of even the odds!!

All these events are true so help me God... An Educated Farmer

raingauge
01-24-2012, 01:25 PM
Laughed til I cried, can just picture it, LOL

DragoonDrake
01-24-2012, 01:30 PM
OMG. That is so damn funny

starmac
01-24-2012, 01:52 PM
More than one horse has been killed, by a deer on the other end of a rope. I have a cousin that can tell you that you never want to rope a buffalo either.

oneokie
01-24-2012, 01:57 PM
What do you expect from an aspiring bullet proof cowboy? A dissertation on quantum physics?

gandydancer
01-24-2012, 02:09 PM
any one remember the old behind the 8 Ball movie shorts. now that story would make a good one. LOL untill I hurt. thanks. GD

stubshaft
01-24-2012, 02:16 PM
***** - That was great.

Crawdaddy
01-24-2012, 04:42 PM
I cant remember a time I laughed so hard. Reminds me of a story I tell about an 18 year old boy wanting to impress his new bride. That boy was me.

My wife was watching the squirrels play in the back yard and commented that they were "sooo cute"! She wanted one for a pet to be kept in a cage.

I was eager to please my new bride and had a great idea for getting one.

I went outside with my BB gun and the squirrels went up a small black jack oak tree. I put two pumps of air in the gun and popped one in the hind quarter.

It quickly fell and I caught it in my hands. The trouble began when I realized that a squirrel was an oversize rodent that has teeth like a 3 foot rat. Just like a deer they bite and do so very well.

Not being one to accept failure I ran it to the cage and put it in. After a trip to the emegency room, a tetanus shot, the laughter and verbal abuse from doctors and nurses, and loss of my pride we went home.

She went over to look at her new pet and said "he looks so sad in a cage, lets let him go".

It is a wonder I escaped the process of natural selection.

starmac
01-24-2012, 05:12 PM
I have seen two kids make the mistake of getting a hold of a squirrel, neither was pretty and both required stitches. One thought he was dead, the other hemmed one up and caught it on PURPOSE.

GREENCOUNTYPETE
01-24-2012, 05:13 PM
I actually knew some one who roped a deer once , she had a much better experience with it
but she had shot it first but had hit it in the jaw and run out of cartridges , she thinking quickly and having worked with horses a long time grabbed her rope tided a loop and tossed it over the dazed and injured deer's head then tied it to a tree while she went and got her husband , who came back and finished the deer.

wvmedic
01-24-2012, 05:29 PM
Holly smokes, I laughed so hard. I really needed that today, I feel much better now.

Thanks, Jeff

frkelly74
01-24-2012, 06:04 PM
An education indeed!

casterofboolits
01-24-2012, 06:16 PM
That could be a TV special!!!! :popcorn:[smilie=l: ROFLMAO

shotman
01-24-2012, 06:17 PM
he did it wrong
6 asprin in some sour mash and you keep them real tame.
THE problem is the wife. they become pets and you cant cut a pet up she says

DLCTEX
01-24-2012, 08:49 PM
I've told here before of a fellow cowboy who grabbed the collar on a semi-tame deer. He was a big boy and by the time we could get to him to help (hard to run when you are laughing your head off) he was almost naked and severely beaten.

snglstack
01-24-2012, 09:04 PM
Pretty good tale, LOL. I had a young Labrador, fresh out of retriever training school, out huntin squirrels in the Sierra. Nicked one out of the top of a high pine, and ol' Ace took off after it. By the time I got there, he was yippin and hollerin and spinnin in circles, trying to get this big ol bushytail grey off his lip. He shook it loose, bravely went to make the retrieve again, and it got him on the nostril. Shook it loose (while in training, a shock collar to prevent him chasing jackrabbits taught him that if it hurts, sit), and sat...yer right, and it bit him on the rump, hangin on while poor Ace spun and yelped, squirrel tail and legs flying out like a flag in the wind. Then it came after me, gnashin teeth, draggin itself through the bear clover with front legs, and I finally got that finishing shot in...he never retrieved a live anything after that...always made sure it was dead dead dead before he retrieved it to me, and he was my best partner for eight more years after that...good dog, Ace.

MT Gianni
01-25-2012, 12:00 AM
What do you expect from an aspiring bullet proof cowboy? A dissertation on quantum physics?

Well I remember a guy that swore he could bulldog one if we could get him close enough. I was 22, driving and it wasn't my truck. Those should let us know how big a recipe for disaster we were in for. Thank goodness our hazer was on a motorcycle and we lost him. I never could get him close enough though we were within 8-10 feet on occasion. I am just really glad no one, or their property was hurt. That and it was before video cameras were common and Youtube wasn't even a dream.

TJF1
01-25-2012, 11:26 AM
That made my day

LUCKYDAWG13
01-25-2012, 11:35 AM
My side herts :p

Mk42gunner
01-25-2012, 05:24 PM
That and it was before video cameras were common and Youtube wasn't even a dream.

That is the only thing that allows some of us to retain(?) our dignity.

Robert

Spruce
01-25-2012, 05:38 PM
Very, very funny. A good read indeed.

hillbillyjoe
01-28-2012, 11:30 AM
Haven't laughed that hard in a long time. The better half thought I'd choked on something,so she had to check it out too. Had tears in her eyes the whole time. Every time I picture it, I start chuckleing all over again. Good story!!

clodhopper
01-28-2012, 10:40 PM
I had my hands on a small buck whitetail once many years ago.
Never have been so glad to let go of anything ever since.
Fortunatly he didn't stick around and really whip the tar out of me.
On a recent deer hunt with my grandson who is a state champion wrestler, a fawn walked between us as we hid about ten feet apart behind trees during a river bottom deer drive.
Grandson said later if that deer had been a foot closer he would have taken it down.
I tried to explain what a bad decision that would be, but was left with the impression that gramps was an ole fuddy duddy.
Okay grandson, go ahead, grab a deer, bet you get a lot smarter real quick.

BOOM BOOM
01-28-2012, 10:42 PM
HI,
That was hilarious, as well as educational.:Fire::Fire:

G. Blessing
01-31-2012, 03:41 PM
I have a cousin that can tell you that you never want to rope a buffalo either.

Good Gawd man,why did he try that!!??!

starmac
01-31-2012, 11:15 PM
Good Gawd man,why did he try that!!??!

LOL It was an old bull that was bad sick and weak enough they thought they could handle him to doctor it. It wasn't nowhere near as weak as they thought. The horse had to be put down and it was close to a year before he could walk again.

starmac
01-31-2012, 11:18 PM
I got to watch a guy try to dog a buffalo calf (small) one time. That didn't work out as planned either, as you can't turn a buffalos neck and a good corral fence wont stop one either. lol

0verkill
03-03-2012, 05:59 AM
I noticed some scars on my friends belly and side one time and asked how he got them. He told me a few years ago a deer had been coming by his shed every day. His Old Lady remarked how pretty it was and he decided to impress her by catching it. About 6 in the evening he climbed up on the shed to wait for his deer. When it came by he jumped off on it's back and proceeded to put the deer in a headlock. This is when he learned how sharp a deers hooves can be and where his scars came from. Glad I got to learn secondhand rather than firsthand that deer hooves can cut like that.

obssd1958
03-03-2012, 02:02 PM
I'm just lucky, I guess...
While bowhunting, about 10 years ago, I let an arrow fly at a big Mulie doe. Just before I released the arrow the deer took one step forward, I followed with the sight pin, and let 'er fly. Unfortunately, I didn't see the stick that ended up deflecting the arrow up, and to the right. At first, I thought I had missed, but when I got to where the deer had been standing, there were a few drops of blood on the ground. I hiked over to the top of the ridge, where I had last seen her, and looked down into the draw. About 60 yards away, there was a patch of buck brush that was shaking and moving around, and it wasn't the wind! I approached the brush carefully, and could finally see that the deer was laying in the center of the bush - upside down, but with it's head twisted so that it's chin was facing the ground - and still breathing. There was an arrow sticking out both sides of her head, looking just like the old joke shop toys. Figuring that an arrow through the head was ultimately fatal, but not wanting the deer to suffer any longer than absolutely necessary, I put my bow and pack down, circled below the deer, drew my hunting knife from it's sheath, grabbed the front leg furthest away from me, and stabbed the deer in the neck to cut it's throat ------
The next 30 minutes ( or maybe it was 10 seconds... ) is pretty much a blur of flying deer hooves, wildly swinging broadhead, and sliding backwards down the mountain. I still had my hunting knife in my right hand, and was not going to let go of that deer's leg for ANY reason! Not only because I didn't want it to get away, but more importantly, I didn't want to let it get to ME!!
We came to a stop in another patch of brush, where I was able to pin the deer with the my body on top of the branches, and cut it's throat from ear to ear...
and yes, I am glad there was no witness with a camera..........

By the way, did you know that there is an area right behind the deer's eyes, and below the ear, that you can put an arrow through and not hit anything vital????

gnoahhh
03-04-2012, 01:29 PM
Joke:

"How do the Amish hunt deer?"
"They find one, then build a barn around it."