A good friends passing

[Frank46]

Ever had a bad feeling when passing a good shooting friends house?. Well today that was me. Driving by his little truck was gone and so was the car. Garage empty.
Tried to call but no answer. Googled him and found out that he had passed away. Darn that hurt. Now for the question, He passed in august this year and I had no inkling of his passing. He has relatives in the next town over. I don't know them but his dad is in a nursing home in that town. I have decided not to speak with his dad even though he knows me as he is of advanced age and I'm not sure of his health.
But he has an aunt and uncle in that town and would like to offer my condolences. They have no knowledge of our friendship. Would it be proper for me to call them and speak to them about him. He was one of a group of four guys that used to shoot with and goof with each other. Your opinions and or suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks, Frank

[crabo]

Yes, it would be proper and they would probably appreciate it.

[P.K.]

Fair Skies, ......Frank, let them know, they wern't the only folks to loose someone. Crabo is right, not only would they appreciate it they would prolly welcome a "friend of the family" to share some of the things they were not aware of.

[casterofboolits]

I lost a good friend last year and didn't know it for two months. I was having some health problems and couldn't leave the house. His wife and daughter didn't bother giving me a call. Sad end to a 30 year friendship.

[Frank46]

Thats the sad part of the whole story. He passed in august and I related the story I only found out when I googled him. The reason I asked is that I don't wish to open old memories but do feel that I should let them know my feelings and possibly share some good times I had with him. Thanks to all, Frank

[gray wolf]

Frank,
follow your heart on this one,
It sounds like the boy's have given all the right advise.
Needless to say I am sorry for the passing of your friend.

Sam

[colt 357]

I think a card to his family might be a good idea if you don't know them. just a little note on how much he meant to you guys.

[P.K.]

Thats the sad part of the whole story. He passed in august and I related the story I only found out when I googled him. The reason I asked is that I don't wish to open old memories but do feel that I should let them know my feelings and possibly share some good times I had with him. Thanks to all, Frank

All the more reason to. I think his relatives have no idea about your friendship or any of his hobbies. I would think that they would be curious and or respectful of the relation and either explore or at least delve into his hobbies.


Bottom line, knock on the door and ask. It's a Yes/No question. I'll bet you end up with an invitation.

[Frank46]

Thank all. I needed to get this off my chest and soon as I can get an address will either send a letter or go visit. Your input has made this somewhat easier. Frank

[mroliver77]

I would inquire as to his Dads health. Lot's of old folks are trapped in homes with tired old bodies but fine minds. If his mind is ok, he is grieving and might really appreciate the gesture.
Jay

[Adam10mm]

Didn't read the responses yet, but I would contact, explain the relationship, offer condolences. Maybe reminisce about a time or two of joy you had with said friend.

[firefly1957]

You are not alone in this happening to me in 2000 a friend passed and when I could not get a hold of him either by cell phone or email I did a search for him on the net (no Google then). He has a rare name and it came up he was working in another state. I thought it odd that he did not call but he was recently married and I figured he was starting over. It was a few years before I found out he had passed and the other person with the same job and name was 10 years older and unrelated? Biggest troubles were I had work and family he had married and was busy at work and we were 100 miles apart. For some reason the obit never showed at all until about 10 years later? I did have a bad feeling about this at the time I do not really know what I should have done differently.

[Frank46]

Our news paper delivery person refuses to use the box on our side of the street. Instead she throws it on to our property. Have had many ruined papers and most likely the one with mu buddy's obiturary was ruined by the rain. Driving down here can be hazardous to one's health as more than once have had to stop when someone delivering the paper is driving on the wrong side of the road. Too darn lazy to go down the road one side then down the other.
I have met his father on a few occasions but do not know his mental state at this time. And for that reason will contact his aunt and uncle and let them decide wether to tell his dad or not. I would guess by now he has been told. That's why I posted this message, he was a good shooting buddy and he will definitely be missed. Again thanks for the positive responses. Frank

[Echo]

I had a friend who worked at our museum. Bill had flown 45 different types of airplanes, had a ton of stories, and loved telling them. He was a master modeler and many of his models were exhibited here (Pima Air & Space Museum). We had a Volunteer Appreciation dinner this spring, and on the program there was an 'In Memorium' section - and Bill's name was there! I had seen, & chatted with him a couple of weeks before! What a shock! No email announcement had been made. Bill was 85 when he passed, and had no people here.
A friend pointed out that a major factor in aging is dealing with loss. He has walked in on three friends, and found them dead. One of the problems with being a volunteer is that our colleagues are generally our age, and that makes them more likely to moving to greener pastures at any time.

[Frank46]

Called information and could not get his folk's number. After about 45 minutes of searching finally located their number and address. Sometimes computers are a good thing. Thanks all. Frank