Gonna be gone I think

[Bret4207]

Bad news here boys, FIL went way downhill fast, dementia, Alzhimers, whatever, gotta move in with us, gona unhitch computer right after this.

Wish us luck, kind thoughts and prayers appreciated

Best wishes- bret[smilie=s:

[Mk42gunner]

Best wishes, check in when you can.

Robert

[BruceB]

Our sympathies....and hopes for improvement.

Tough situation, Bret.

[captaint]

Bret - Many of us have been there. Good luck and do try to hang out here whenever you can. Mike

[Echo]

Good luck, and sympathies. Hope this is resolved soon, for you and yours.

Ed

[curiousgeorge]

Bret - hope for the best / prepare for the worst.

I always enjoy your posts. To the point, very helpful and informative, but common sense questioning when called for.

Good luck and try to stay in touch.

Steve

[462]

The best to your entire family. We're in the midst of it, too.

[gnoahhh]

Good Luck Bret. It's tough, I know. Get back to us when you can, and God Bless.

[stubshaft]

Best of luck to your and yours Brett.

[Three-Fifty-Seven]

Bret,

You will be missed! Hurry back when you can.

May you get your strength and patience from GOD. (I know you will!:bigsmyl2: and so do you!)



[smilie=s:

[357shooter]

Praying for you and family.

[dragonrider]

That's too bad about the FIL Bret, check in when you can.

[Catshooter]

Hurry back dude.


Cat

[square butte]

Bret, Prayers for you and Family. God moves in mysterious ways. All the Best

[Dean D.]

I'm sorry to hear this Bret. Thoughts and prayers headed your way.

[frankenfab]

I always like reading your posts. I wish you strength to help you through this difficult time.

[jmsj]

Bret,
Sorry to hear about your FIL.
I have seen it before and it is a tough road. We'll be keeping a good thought and prayers for you and yours.
jmsj

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Bret,
Good luck and my prayers are with you.
Jon

[EDK]

Good luck. Get some books on Alzheimers and talk to the professionals about how to deal with it. It ain't gonna be a walk in the park. Whatever the primary personality traits were really get magnified and they go back to a time of their life that they enjoyed.

The ex-wife's uncle was a SOB before he started downhill and didn't get mellow as he deteriorated. One of the many contributing factors to our divorce.

My uncle, mom's younger brother, is now in a home that specialized in care for Alzheimers patients. He also was a "hard a**"...pushy salesman....a player...and he is really a tough one to deal with now. His #2 wife has been a saint in dealing with his problems, especially since her health isn't very good. He is estranged from his first family to boot.

On the other hand, the kindly third grandma for my kids was also in a home. She was even nicer...if possible...as a patient. The staff loved her and treated her far better than the two other mentioned above. The whole staff attended her funeral and there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

Prayers headed for you and yours.

[smoked turkey]

Bret:
Sorry to hear of your family situation. It is great of you to open your home and alter your life in order to help FIL. You and your family will be blessed for it. I said a prayer for you and the situation.

[theperfessor]

Brett -

Sorry to hear about FIL. Hoping for the best for all of you. I like to read your posts so check in when you can.

[MtGun44]

May your burdens rest lightly on your shoulders, my friend.

Bill

[Recluse]

Hang in there, Bret.

There are no bonds like those of family. Went through this with my FIL two years ago.

Our prayers are with you and your family and for as long as you need them.

:coffee:

[Wayne Smith]

Bret, years ago John's Hopkins published a book on caring for the Altzheimer's patient. They titled it ... "The 36 Hour Day". The point being, there ain't no such thing. Their point is simply that it takes a team to provide 24 hour care, one family cannot do it. Be very aware of this. You and your wife need to decide now at what point in the process you will pass him on to professional care. Unless he has another shorter term fatal disease - dying at home will not happen. Once you have made that decision do not second guess it unless you advance it sooner.

Will be praying for you.

[casterofboolits]

Bret,

Best wishes for you and your wife in caring for your FIL. The Social agencies in your area can help with in home care.

I went thru the same thing several years ago with my mother and they were a big help.

[gray wolf]

Prayers for you and the family.

[SharpsShooter]

Hang in there amigo. Prayers on the way for your family.

SS

[blackthorn]

God be with you and your family through this trying time!

[Bret4207]

Okay! So apparen tly the routewr will work wo the PC, cool. Got the laptop up anyway.

Thanks do very much to all of you for the kind words and prayers, he's not as bad as I was lead to believe, but he's downhill from where he was. Stinks. I think it's a combination of srtoikes and dentia from that. Nana isn;t doing too hot either but the kids are just loving having them here and that's good.

Be in and out I guess, God Bless you all for you kindness, you can't know how much it means to me.

[rintinglen]

Bret, having lost my mother to that vile disease, a little at a time, you have my utter sympathy. Bless you and yours and may you find strength in your faith. Remember your friends here, we will be rooting for you.

[MT Gianni]

It is difficult but doable. Check in when you can.

[geargnasher]

Sorry to hear the news, Bret. Not much else I can say, just hope things work out.

Gear

[Ajax]

Bret I will be praying for your family. May God lift your hearts and strengthen your resolve.


Andy

[flounderman]

they are making advancments with alz. it might be worth a try to get into one of the experimental testing programs

[RayinNH]

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, good luck Bret...Ray

[Lloyd Smale]

going to miss you and your posts. hurry back. =Bret4207;1259575]Bad news here boys, FIL went way downhill fast, dementia, Alzhimers, whatever, gotta move in with us, gona unhitch computer right after this.

Wish us luck, kind thoughts and prayers appreciated

Best wishes- bret[smilie=s:[/QUOTE]

[Uncle R.]

You have taken on a difficult task Bret. Good luck and best wishes to you. Take care that the demands you will face don't damage your relationships with all of those you love. We'll miss your input here - come and see us when you can.
Uncle R.

[9.3X62AL]

Very tough row to hoe, sir. God bless you and yours for doing the right thing at the right time. Prayers and good thoughts outbound for you and yours, Bro.

[swheeler]

Sorry to hear about your father in law, stay strong.

[waksupi]

Bret, check the local library. There are lots of useful books on helping support people deal with the illness.

[StrawHat]

Prayers and good thoughts for you and your family. Check back when you can. Make sure to take time for yourself and your wife.

I have a brother with alzheimer's, it can get very tough.

[Bret4207]

Well boys, it's taken 4 days, but I think we're slowly getting our lives re-arraigned. I want to thank all of you for your kind thoughts and words and prayers. It means an awful lot.

With my wife having run an Alzheimers study program and 3 of her sisters in social work/counseling services, one specializing in elder care, we're pretty much up on the in's and out's of Papas condition. We're just a little shocked at the things coming out of his mouth. I never heard the man swear in my life really, he's just not himself.

Well, I hope to have the "real" computer hitched up soon, this laptop stinks!

My sincerest thanks and best wishes to you all my friends.

[btroj]

Yep, dementia can lead to some interesting discussions/outbursts.
Be sure that you understand that the things he says are not always from a sound mind and don't take the personally. Dementia can be very tough on caregivers. Have spoken to enough over the years to see what this disease does to not only the patient but the caregivers as well.

I wish you and your family well.

Bad

[Ohio Rusty]

We went thru that with the FIL. He had dementia and the wife ended up living with him for the last 4 months he was here to help him do everything. He lived in another city. I helped out on the weekends with his care. I sure understand what you are going thru.
We'll keep you in our prayers and thoughts .........
Ohio Rusty ><>

[smoked turkey]

As things progress, and as things are said and done just remember that the brain of the loved one has been altered. Those things said and done are not from the person you once knew. From the description of your family I am sure you all know that but I just don't want you to forget it when you are in the trenches. Still praying.

[Wayne Smith]

I'm glad to hear you have adequate prepration. Be aware that thereotical knowledge and dealing with others does not make your decisions about your family any easier. It may make them harder, we tend to expect ourselves to do more than we can, and the more we understand the greater that tendency is.

[firefly1957]

More prayers for you you have some good advice from people here.

[DIRT Farmer]

I am working on round 4, Mom and MIL had Parkinson's and FIL had alzhiemers. Dad is elderly progression. Many years taking care of family was what you did. After seeing so many in nursing homes when working, I don't want my kids to stick me there. It's rough, but do-able. Hang in there and build the support network you will need. Short breaks help a lot to keep the keel centered.

[Bret4207]

FYI- well, they're gone. Had to put Poppa in the hospital after he got violent during an over nighter back at their house. Nursing home time. Crazy, but the only opening is in Mass! The hospital where they are won;t look up north near us, I'm assuming there's some financial deal between that hosp and nursing homes over that way. Freakin' medical industry is just a system made up of money grubbing leeches with the occasional doctor with a little caring in his soul. Idiots never got his urine tract infection fixed and now he's got pneumonia. Damn the medical "profession"!

[Bad Water Bill]

My folks were very happily married for 63 years .I never heard in unkind word from either one to the other EVER. Then the big A took dad. Mom said he would stay at home till the end. Well she tried but as many others will tell you, sometimes they can get violent. Mom was 4 ft 6 and dad was 5 ft 10. He took a swing at mom and it broke her heart but she saw she could no longer safely care for dad.

Some times we just have to realize no matter how hard we try to take care of our loved ones it is really out of our hands. Yes it hurts a LOT to have to admit that but they will get better care elsewhere and the rest of the family will not get run into the ground.

It almost broke moms heart one day when she went to visit dad and he said "this is my favorite girlfriend". We had to spend some time reminding her that even tho the brain was pretty well gone he still knew her and she was still important in his life. I was just some "young fellow" for the last 4 years of his life.

I do feel your pain sir believe me.

[Down South]

I've been down this road a couple times in my life with my own family. Your loved ones become someone whom you have never known. They drift back into reality from time to time but considering the seriousious of the disease it only lasts for short durations closer to the end.
All you can do is what you can do and it won't make a lot of difference other than you KNOW that you did what you could.
This is a serious disorder and it is a shame that many of our elderly loved ones have to suffer through it. It would be better to say that it is us that have to suffer through it.
Best wishes and prayers is the all that I can offer. My boss, his dad just passed last week and suffering form the same thing. My boss went through a rough time till the end.

[Az Rick]

Went through it with my FIL, couple years ago. Be strong. You know Bret, don't unhitch so fast. There will be times you could check-in, it would make a great diversion. You and your Bride have got to take care of each other and yourselves through this. That's important to remember. You'll do better in the long run by maintaining some kinda normalcy for you.
Just my 2 cents but heartfelt.

Best, Rick

[Idaho Sharpshooter]

What EDK said, plus one.

Rich

[Bret4207]

Well the good news they aren't shipping him off to Mass. They finally found a bed in the local home. So at least he'll be local. My wife and kids are going down this weekend to visit and they plan on swinging over to see my mom who's convalescing in another nursing home/rehab center 35 miles away from cancer/strokes. Living 4 hours from family has it's up.s and downs.

I appreciate the kind words of support boys.