You know you're getting old when

[Charlie Two Tracks]

A pretty young lady held the door open for me the other day....... I was at the return counter at Farm&Fleet the other day and they have a camera on you. I looked up at the monitor and saw the back of this older guy with gray hair and a blad spot standing by me.......... I looked up again and realized it was ME! Oh my....

[RobS]

It's the sheeeets.

[Calamity Jake]

You know you're getting old when

the cafe casher gives you the senior discount without you asking!!!

[klcarroll]

You know you're getting old when "Pretty Young Things" stop smiling at you, ......and start laughing out loud.

(.....Unfortunately, something I have personally experienced.)

Kent

[Longwood]

I wear a camouflage hat. It works extremely well. The young girls look right through me like I am not even there.

[bhn22]

I have an old guy stalking me too. I see his reflection in mirrors and plate glass windows, but when I turn around to confront him, he's gone! I don't know who he is, or what he wants, but he's creeping me out.

[quilbilly]

There is a bright side. Since you are invisible to the sweet young things, you can stare (OK... leer) to your hearts content and they don't seem to notice.

[Longwood]

I surely do!!!!
I read those Tee shirts VERY carefully.
One of the best days of my life was when I first noticed they are writing stuff on the back of their pants.

[Piedmont]

No Charlie, She was thinking, "What a fine-looking, distinguished gentleman!" She just held the door so she could ogle you longer.

[BudRow]

I was at my class reunion a few years back and I was looking hard to read the name tag of one of my female classmates as my eyes are getting old. I told her I was not staring at her boobs, but trying to read her tag. She said she was offended that I was not adimiring her rack - we both laughed.

[-06]

Am becoming a dirty old man-lol. My newest hobby is asking ladies what their "T" shirts say. That way they stretch and push so you can "read" them--lol. Works every time--leacerous snicker.

[Bret4207]

I wear a camouflage hat. It works extremely well. The young girls look right through me like I am not even there.

It helps if you are wearing barn clothes. They might smell you, but there's no way they will make eye contact!

[Hickory]

You know when you're getting old when,
Taking a leak feels almost as good as having sex.:groner:

[doubledown]

You know you're getting old when ...nevermind I forgot what I was going to say .

[Wayne Smith]

Hey, guys, a pretty young thing was paying attention to me last nite - well, Arasaka99 was standing there too... He's almost 16 and taller than my 6'2"!

It matters who ya hang out with.

[Hickory]

Another way to tell when you're getting old;
When the doctor want to stuff pill down your
throat, and his finger up your . . . . :evil: :violin:

[kyswede]

My doctor once told me there are 3 signs of getting old. #1 You forget things.....I can't remember the other 2. lol
kyswede

[3006guns]

You know you're getting old when ads for prostate medications suddenly become very interesting.........

[gray wolf]

You know when you're getting old when,
Taking a leak feels almost as good as having sex.

And it takes longer to take a leak than it does to have sex.

I look at it this way
If you didn't know how old you were --- How old would you think you were ?

[dragonrider]

When you can judge the kind of day you will have by your morning dump.!!!

[Hickory]

Was in the local coffee shop last week, and took the time to really look around at the people there.
When the waitress came to take my order, I said to her, "I hate to say this, because I'm one of them, but this place looks like an "old folks home" :groner:

[bigdog454]

Getting old beats the alternative!!

[Longwood]

Am becoming a dirty old man-lol. My newest hobby is asking ladies what their "T" shirts say. That way they stretch and push so you can "read" them--lol. Works every time--leacerous snicker.
And I thought 'I' was a pro-vert!

[Longwood]

You know you ARE old when you are the same age as the other patients at the VA hospital!

[foxtrotter]

You know you're getting old when using your soldering iron sounds like you're riveting!

[casterofboolits]

When you can judge the kind of day you will have by your morning dump.!!!

Ain't that the truth! :holysheep :bigsmyl2::dung_hits_fan:

[Harter66]

I saw my Dad in the mirror the other morning,kinda creeped me out,then I realized he's still got more hair and less gray.

I see those cute little tee shirts and think "I wonder , what's her mom look like ?".

[shaggist]

you have more hair on your ears than the top of your head and you have to shave them at least once a week.

[Charlie Two Tracks]

It's pretty bad when the hair on your ears and eyebrows are longer than the hair on your head! To make it even worse, eyesight up close starts to go and you have to put on glasses to even see it is there!

[Old Ironsights]

You know you're getting old when you no longer think "Roid Rage" has anything to do with Sports/Weight lifting drugs...

[Olevern]

You know you are getting old when your handguns and lever actions sprout scopes.

[RP]

Your old when you fart cobwebs and smell funny.

[blasternank]

I had the same thing happen! I saw this big bald spot and it made me so sad. :shock:

[Artful]

You know you are getting old when your handguns and lever actions sprout scopes.


then you start looking at red dots 'cuz they are lighter. ;-)

but the down side is you have to decide which pair of glasses to wear to see the target best.

[gon2shoot]

:holysheepSaw a "sweet young thang" at the store the other day, turns out she was 45

[onondaga]

....When a young girl says to me, " You are looking at my butt, that is disgusting!" My reply is usually, " I resemble that remark."

Gary
I used to be really cute when I was young and only skated with girls wearing tube tops.

[cephas53]

I see those cute little tee shirts and think "I wonder , what's her mom look like ?".

I think the exact same thing whenever I look at the cover of one of Dillons monthly catalog.

[10x]

You know you are getting old when you get up and look in the mirror - then wonder who the old man is.....

[steg]

when I first got my laser aim scope, it was a sharp red dot. now it's like figuring what part of the Milkey Way to use as an aimpoint, and glasses don't help. I was blaming the scope til I had my son look thru it and he said, sharp red dot Dad, oh well.........steg

[Frank46]

1. when you know most of the doctors in your town.
2. when people you don't know call you "Pops".
3. when you qualify for senior discounts.
4. when it takes 20 minutes to get out of bed due to joint pain.
5. when your knees go snap,crackle and pop.
6. when your medicine cabinet looks like a cvs pharmacy.

Frank

[10x]

when I first got my laser aim scope, it was a sharp red dot. now it's like figuring what part of the Milkey Way to use as an aimpoint, and glasses don't help. I was blaming the scope til I had my son look thru it and he said, sharp red dot Dad, oh well.........steg

Get checked for cataracts - I'm serious.
If you have them at least get your shooting eye fixed. That IS miracle surgery.

[Ohio Rusty]

When you are over the hill and you don't remember getting to the top ....

Ohio Rusty ><>

[Von Gruff]

....When a young girl says to me, " You are looking at my butt, that is disgusting!" My reply is usually, " I resemble that remark."

Gary


My reply would have been ..........Its not disgusting, I happen to think it is nice, that is why I was looking at it.

[smilie=w: :kissarse:

Von Gruff.

[BOOM BOOM]

HI,
NICE ONE -06!
I will try to remember that.:Fire::Fire:

[10x]

My reply would have been ..........Its not disgusting, I happen to think it is nice, that is why I was looking at it.

[smilie=w: :kissarse:

Von Gruff.

Classic.

"everybody likes a dirty five year old boy, no one likes a dirty old man..."

And "I didn't used to be a dirty old man, I was young like you once..."

[Longwood]

Classic.

"everybody likes a dirty five year old boy, no one likes a dirty old man..."

And "I didn't used to be a dirty old man, I was young like you once..."
I have had more than one gal say, "Dirty old ladies like dirty old men".

[3006guns]

Something I've been pounding into my kid's heads lately (they're all in their 30's)....

"Youth and skill will never overcome old age and treachery"

I also agree with the previous poster.......how you plan your day IS judged by that first dump in the morning!

[Kirk Miller]

Getting old isn't all bad. When the doctor tells me to bend over and cough; I just say, I'm too old and stove up to bend over.
Kirk

[lead-1]

A couple of weeks back the wife and I took my Dad to the cell phone store and we sat down on the bench to wait our turn. When it was our turn my Dad made a few grumbling noises and the fine young lady jumped to his aid and said "here let me help you up" so he put his hand out, she grabbed it and gave a little tug. He pops up and then tells her "I get to hold hand with more girls that way". My wife did the face palm move and mumbled there goes the discount and the girls got a kick out of it.

[Jim]

One I haven't heard yet is when you catch yourself SERIOUSLY pondering who you're gonna leave your firearms to.

[blackthorn]

You know your old when your oldest kid turns 50, and the other four aint far behind!!

[looseprojectile]

I realize that my kids and grandkids will remember me for how I made them feel.

I hope I still have time.:bigsmyl2:


Life is good

[Hardcast416taylor]

You realise you are old when you attend the graduation from college of the granddaughter that used to snuggle up on your shoulder as a baby.Robert

[threett1]

One I haven't heard yet is when you catch yourself SERIOUSLY pondering who you're gonna leave your firearms to
My sons talk about that subject quite often when they get together. They smile too.:rolleyes:

[Kirk Miller]

You know you're getting old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes.....and you're barefoot.
Kirk

[gofasttodd]

your getting old when the eye dr hands you a leash to your new seeing eye dog

[mold maker]

"" When the only eye chart you can see, has E X I T on it.

[Frank46]

Had my cane on a gun show table and it fell off. Bent over to pick it up and almost collided with a young man who went to pick it up. Frank

[BOOM BOOM]

HI,
When your younger brother ,BY 8 YRS. says, you are old.

I says, It ain't over yet-the fat lady hasn't sung.

[SciFiJim]

You know you're getting old when going to bed hurts.

[tmax64]

You're getting old when what you used to do all night takes all night to do............

[krag35]

Fellers there are advantages. Every day there are more and more good looking younger women out there. However they call you sir, or ask for your discount card.

[10x]

You know you're getting old when going to bed hurts.

You know you are getting old when you wake up in the morning and get out of bed before you start to hurt and stiffen up so you can't get out of bed.

[Longwood]

If you locked your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car then let them out in a couple of days, which one do you think will be glad to see you?

[Bad Water Bill]

Fellers there are advantages. Every day there are more and more good looking younger women out there. However they call you sir, or ask for your discount card.

Now the young ladies open the door for ME.

Even had a mom tell her child to hurry up so they could get ahead of the OLD man and open the door for him.

[Frank46]

You know you are getting old when someone breaks wind and everyone looks at you. Frank

[HiVelocity]

Re: Originally Posted by onondaga
....When a young girl says to me, " You are looking at my butt, that is disgusting!" My reply is usually, " I resemble that remark."

I respond with, "Worry when I quit looking!":D

[10x]

Re: Originally Posted by onondaga
....When a young girl says to me, " You are looking at my butt, that is disgusting!" My reply is usually, " I resemble that remark."



I respond with, "Your butt isn't disgusting at all, it may be your best asset!":D