Soooo. . .#9 snakeshot then?
I dunno. . .if you're worried about exits more than effective performance, I've kinda always felt that carrying may not be for you. The "what if this other guy kills me" is a much higher priority than the "what if there's somebody behind him?", the "what if the round still has some juice left when it's finished?", and the "Oh crud! I survived and ended up in court" There is some heat in that there self defense kitchen, and there is no asbestos suit to guard against all of it. Certainly, .357 is probably not the round of choice for the penetrationally timid in any event.
I've always leaned heavy toward the 145gr. Silvertip for that round. Probably a fair choice for a "one-bullet-for-all-cirumstances"