The "have a gun" philosophy is exactly what we are talking about! There's something that we can all agree on.
I don't think we're that far apart.
770-775 fps with a solid WC or 850 with a slightly hot SWC from a 2" barrel? The goal is to stop the bad guy from hurting/killing you.
Now I don't think a few fps is all that critical. I also believe that the occasional five or six rounds of +P loads will not significantly harm a D- framed Colt or Airweight S&W.
So, I will not abuse a good alloy framed S&W, Colt Cobra/Agent or old steel Detective Special by feeding it a steady diet of hot rounds but I might try to get just a little edge by using slightly hotter rounds for carry loads. Particularly if they shoot close to the same point of aim.
I don't think that I absolutely need that edge but I also think the trade off is minimal. If my carry load shoots the same point of aim as my practice load and I only shoot 100 of those hot rounds through the gun every 10 years or so....I haven't significantly reduced the life of the gun.
A few fps isn't a big deal and is certainly not worth damaging a good gun. I'm not advocating beating up a good gun with hot practice loads. However, in a life or death situation, I don't care if I throw the gun away afterwards; it is like a parachute at that point. I'll get another one if I live.