My Babby Girl Died today 9-19-09

[shdwlkr]

madman
I lost my 13 year old last year and this just woke up some thoughts about her reading your loss. You can't bring them back but you can keep them alive in your memories of the silly things they did.
My daughter was in poor health, had many medical issues and I watched for a year keep going down hill. Worst or best of all depending on how you look at it I was the one who found her and went through all the hard questions when the police came and dealing with the issue in my mind if I could have done something more if I had found her sooner.
I am so sorry for your loss and nothing I can say will make the next year easier but I am truly sorry for your loss and hope that you find comfort in knowing you had her for her life in your heart and hers.

[mstarling]

Oh My! I can't believe I missed your initial post. Our most sincere condolences and small prayers go to you and your family.

The next months will not be easy. Loss of a family member never is ... especially a child. We're just not built for that.

Again, our small prayers for you and yours.

Mike

[madman]

Well today would have been Missy's 31st Birthday. Whom ever said that time heals all wounds has never lost a child. Carolyn and I are just going day by day. The tears sneak up on you and kick you in the guts when you least expect them to. My Son is having a very hard time with Missy's passing. He has 2 children they are his life. He misses his Sister. To see your child in so much pain and sorrow is a very hard burden to carry. To all here. Love like there is no tomorrow, You just never know what the next day will bring. God bless you all.

[LAH]

To all here. Love like there is no tomorrow, You just never know what the next day will bring.

Very well said, my heart goes out to you...........Lynn

[Shiloh]

My condolences. I have no words to take the pain away. They would be yours in a heartbeat if I did.

Shiloh

[shdwlkr]

Madman
I lost my first wife 29 years ago, my teenage daughter last year. Life isn't fair and those left behind feel the pain the greatest when we remember things they did or said. I can tell you the first months are going to be the worst, then the first year and as it turns into years slowly you will get past the loss. You will never forget them or things they did or said, usually the silly things and I do feel that is to help us to realize they were someone very special and that we were very blessed to have had them as long as we did.
I do hope that with every tear you cry you do feel some relief and comfort with your lost daughter. I do understand very well where you are and what you are going through. Keep talking it does really help even when anger comes into the discussion as it is letting the emotions out and that is a good thing.
PM me if you want to talk

[madman]

Well Thanksgiving is gone and Christmas is coming fast. This is our 1st Christmas with out our Missy. Some of her friends still visit Carolyn and I. The days drag on. Missy's friends wrote a some for her and performed it at a local club they had a gig last night. They are a great kids. They are trying to get a recording contract, yes they are that good!. Time is going by slowly. It is going to be a long cold winter. To those of you whom have posted here your prayers and sorrow. I thank you. I only wish I could give each and every one of you a bear hug. I really do consider you all family. Thank you and God bless. Merry Christmas.

[shdwlkr]

Madman
I have been where you are twice once with the death of a wife and a second time when one of teenage daughters died.
The emptiness will at times seem to totally consume you if you let but don't as Missy wouldn't want you to give up on her just because she died.
Think of all the good times and the silly things that you did and she did and just let each day unfold as it does. Some days you will cry, some days will seem like they never end, some nights will be terrible and most of all some memories will bring you to tears and let them flow as they will help and in time you will once again enjoy Missy's love and humor.
May the good lord walk with you and your family now and forever. May your sorrow be blessed with some good thoughts and most of all try and be happy.
From one who has been there and has made it back mostly
May Next year be a blessing to your and yours and may the time seem short and may life have meaning again for you and yours.

[LAH]

May Next year be a blessing to your and yours and may the time seem short and may life have meaning again for you and yours.

My thoughts also. God Bless.............Creeker

[shdwlkr]

Madman
The hardest thing I have done in this life is watching my best friend's dad the day we buried him. I buried my best friend the day before my birthday of that year. It was 10 years after my wife was murdered. Then last year we buried our teenage daughter from my current marriage. Yes I can tell you what it is like and a lot of what you are going to be doing in the near future.

[geargnasher]

Well Thanksgiving is gone and Christmas is coming fast. This is our 1st Christmas with out our Missy. Some of her friends still visit Carolyn and I. The days drag on. Missy's friends wrote a some for her and performed it at a local club they had a gig last night. They are a great kids. They are trying to get a recording contract, yes they are that good!. Time is going by slowly. It is going to be a long cold winter. To those of you whom have posted here your prayers and sorrow. I thank you. I only wish I could give each and every one of you a bear hug. I really do consider you all family. Thank you and God bless. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, too. Consider yourself bearhugged.

Try hard to hold your family tight, fight the depression and feelings of guilt that tends to isolate and separate family members as you each cope in your own ways.

"This, too, shall pass."

Ian

[BT Sniper]

I must say that I wish you well. I pray that I may never experience the loss you have to endure. I must say that your strength and the warmth of the many here that have posted have been valuable to myself. If there is anyway that it may make you feel even the slightest bit better knowing that your strength in a very difficult time, as well as the caring of others, has helped me to understand the love a father has for his children. I am young at 33 and will hug my twin 3 year old baby girls and count my blessings so I may be a better father to them.

Thank you, for even though I may have not helped your pain you have certainly helped me in just your first post of this thread. "Hug your kids". Yes sir that I shall.

Myself and my family wish you the best.

Brian, Lisa, Kendra, and Makenzie

[charger 1]

I'm never good with words, but then again I dont imagine words can do it justice. I used to live in total fear that our one and only would just get to the age where we really really got attatched, then we'd loose her. We've been having a terrible year in ways to numerous to mention, but I'm thinking right now I'd best quit my pitty party for me and offer you my most heart felt fatherly sympathies

[Super38]

I am terribly sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.

This is a poem that helped my mother and I (her father/my grandfather passed.)

May God walk besides you and your family, now and forever.

Super38


The Dark Candle
by: Strickland Gillilan, Aspiring to Greatness


A man had a little daughter-an only and much-beloved child. He lived for her ~ she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved unavailing and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends and refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self. But one night he had a dream. He was in Heaven, and was witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed that one child's candle was not lighted. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing to her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and then asked: "How is it, darling that your candle alone is unlighted? "Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out."

Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and its effects were immediate. From that hour on he was not a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candle be extinguished by his useless tears.

[Multigunner]

Condolences.
Remember the old Japanese saying that one still lives so long as someone remembers them and honors their deeds.
We never really lose those we love so long as they continue to occupy a place in our hearts and minds.

[Lloyd Smale]

God bless you!

[hammerhead357]

Wow I just read this again and my 10 yr. old daughter came in and set on my lap. I just can't imagine the loss of her or my youngest son. We have had a lot of medical problems with him and he had died 2 times in the recovery room but was revived. Now he is healthy as a horse thank God... Still he has some problems but they can be corrected. Sorry for your loss it has to be terrible...Wes

[mroliver77]

Still thinking of you and praying for ya madman. The holidays are freakin ruff!! My cousin and I had daughters the same age. 21 right now. His is Tara, mine was Sara. I was over to see them the other day and seeing Tara justbrings back some of the loss. It dont ever geet easier, just different. I am lucky that God graced us with an "accident" when we were 40 and I have a wonderful 9 year old that keeps me from thinking too much.
Jay

[SteveL]

Madman - my prayers go out to you and your family, that God would give you all comfort and strength in the midst of this. I cannot imagine what it is like to go through this kind of loss. My deepest condolences, Steve

[pls1911]

Find comfort that you're among men who care,
and find stregnth in our respose which reveals feelings
which words simply cannot express ...
some of us have shared your loss.
Stay the course.