Cleaning gun room clutter with my dad- preferable to doing it without him some day

[JRD]

There are probably many hoarders of reloading paraphenalia amongst us here on the forum. I'm one myself and for me it's hereditary. My dad's gun room makes mine look uncluttered.

Lately I've been making an effort to sell some of my excess brass hoard in our swapping and selling forum. At some point you've got to realize that you've got way more stuff than you'll ever be able to use. I try to share with other members of my club and especially younger shooters who are just getting started. I benefited from some great mentors when I was younger and now I realize the tables are turning and it's time for me to do some mentoring.

Here's the point of my post though. My father isn't getting any younger and is in the twilight of his shooting years. He's still able to split firewood, hunt, and shoot, but he's definitely slowing down. My mother has been after him to clean out some of his "junk". I've realized that I am going to have to clean his gun room at some point one way or the other. I told my dad that I'd rather clean it with him than clean it without him someday. Last night we spent some time together in his gun room and just started going through one area of clutter. Some is good stuff to keep, some is good stuff that we will never need that I will try to sell, and some is not so good stuff that we can just junk.

Overall we had a good time. My dad is happy when we find useful things that we forgot he had and can't even remember where we got them. And as a sign of progress, even when it's something we decide to sell, he's happy knowing he'd saved something worthwhile. And that thought makes getting rid of the true junk easier.

I guess the point in sharing these thoughts is that it's better to deal with it now and enjoy the process and recall memories together rather than put it off and be burdened by doing it alone some day.

Jason

[G W Wade]

Sounds like you had a wonderful day. I am in your fathers position and am having the same thoughts about their "inheritence". Time spent (especially range time) with my sons and now grandson is pretty special. GW

[shell70634]

JRD, your post hit a chord in my heart. I'm up there in years too. I treasure the time spent with grand kids and sons in law (3 daughters) casting, reloading and shooting. You are doing it right. Just last weekend I sent a truckload of reloading stuff back with a son in law. The time spent with him seems more important now than it was 20 years ago.

[Txcowboy52]

Nice story that rings so true. Thank you for sharing, it really touched my heart . Made me think about all of the things me and dad shared. We always worked so well together. I just recently sold my mom and dad’s home and property to my daughter and son in law. It would have been so much easier to have went through my dad’s shop with him, than without.

[Bmi48219]

The OP made two points we all need to think about.

First, the odds are we will all leave a collection of stuff for our survivors to cherish or dispose of. Having already went through that, I am determined to spare my offspring as much of this chore as I can.

Second, we don’t realize how little we know about our parents’ lives until they are gone. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in living our own lives that we don’t get to really know our parents as people. Anything a person can do now to change that will be a big consolation later on.

[Kestrel4k]

Am happy for the OP; and confess to having just a touch of envy - I went through my fathers' reloading stuff only after he passed.
I am fortunate enough to have a number of shooting/reloading hand-me-downs however - both from before & after he passed.

[hoodat]

We just had our local gun show a couple weeks ago, and probably about half of the tables were operated by old guys who are essentially doing what you guys are doing. (and many of us should be doing)

What I noticed was there seems to be two different types of these guys. One type is having fun, and enjoying the process, the other type is sad or even angry about the whole thing. I think the difference is that some fellas are passing on possessions that they have owned and enjoyed, and making a few bucks in the process -- the other type seems resentful and reluctant to let things go, and seem to be owned by their possessions.

I'm about to the age where I'm feeling almost silly about some of the things I find in the nooks and crannies of my reloading room. I guess It's about time for me to get a table at the gun show and cut loose of a bunch of stuff. Heck, some of it oughta go in the trash.

I'm sure gonna try to not be the guy who can't bear to part with material possessions which are simply gathering dust and waiting for me to die before they end up in the trash. I've always liked the idea of finding the right home for things when I'm done with them. jd

[BLAHUT]

I am at that same point in my life; 74 years; Time to share and mentor the younger generation more; have been doing this for 30 some years now; so good to see the young shooters improve..... So far the young shooters I have had the honor to mentor have set over 43 national Reckords ( there are more than that, I lost count at 43 ) and looks like they will be setting many more as this competition is able to get fully up and running after covid ? I really enjoy seeing a young person; girl or boy; that has never held a rifle go from not being able to hit the black at 10 meters in standing to being a top competitor in the sport ??? Or watching a young person clean the target; in prone; at 10 meters..... And at only 10 years old........ Then go on to set 8 National Reckords; 4 at 500/600 yds......... To Cover 10 shots with 2 fingers in the bottom of the X - Ring at 500/600 yds..... Just love to watch a young person improve; So gratifying.......... And to be able to pass on some equipment while still alive; is satisfying....

[alfadan]

Good message. It is hard to sort stuff with tears in your eyes.

[lightman]

I started this process when I retired in 2015. We moved early last year and I continued the process except this time I included the shop, garage and storeroom. I offered this stuff up to the boys and the Grandsons and then me and a buddy got a table at a local gunshow. Yeah, its hard to turn loose of stuff but it releases a burden off of the survivors.

[higgins]

I have told my wife that what is left of my brass hoard will never be worth less than scrap value, so just have the boys load it up and go with it if they don't know anyone who reloads.

[BobT]

My dad was not an avid shooter and never reloaded a round of ammo in his life but I fully understand and appreciate what you are saying, and doing! I miss my dad and he's been gone a long time now. I regret not spending more time with him when I had the opportunity. Like many of you, I'm at the point that I need to start getting rid of the stuff I don't use. Last weekend I had a couple of tables at a gunshow and sold 9 or 10 guns and a whole bunch of other stuff I'll likely never miss. I have way too much reloading equipment still, but I'll work on that at the next show. I do have a lot of fun at the shows and enjoy seeing my stuff go to people who will actually enjoy it. I have been working on this for the last couple of years and I still have a long way to go. Now if I could just stop accumulation those danged Contenders !

[jimlj]

My cherished cleaning memory with my dad....
After mom passed away, I was helping dad clean out his garage. Most of the stuff was junk and went into the back of the pickup to take to the dump. Every once in a while dad would pull something from the back of the truck and save it. We came upon a 6 pack of diet Pepsi that I threw in the truck. It had to be at least 20 years old, sitting in a cabinet in 100* + summer heat and below freezing winters. Dad grabbed it out of the truck and said it was still good. He opened a can, took a big drink and spent the next couple minutes spitting and coughing before throwing the remaining 5 cans in the truck. About 10 years later I had to finish the garage by myself. Lots better with than without him.

[pworley1]

With over 50 years of "collecting" in my gun room I am constantly finding item that I had long forgotten about having. I hope you found some treasures.

[Wooserco]

I'm reading this with my beloved Father in Law in the ER with RSV. It's brought tears to my eyes. My own Dad passed away over ten years ago. It was amazing in one respect, going through the things in his bedroom and basement. He had over ten prior eyeglass prescriptions (just in case). In the basement, three water pumps and two engine blocks (just in case). I rememered each vehicle that the engine block had come from (mainly, because they were from my vehicles) and the memories came flooding back of the time that we spent together doing the engine swaps or especially the one where he said: "I need to get to work on Monday, we need to get this done by then." We did that one in a tag team fashion, one sleeping while the other worked on the swap.

Did I mention the over twenty watch band halves (all the same because it was the other half that failed???)

[myg30]

Jason, your memory cleaning up the collection of “stuff” with your dad will be forever one of your most cherished memories.
Mine was taking my dad out on a charter boat fishing trip, and next day going for lunch and a beer at a local tavern where the bar tender/ owner not only remembered my dad from long ago when he was very young but also remembered my grandfather. He mentioned one time when my grandpa left the baby stroller out in front of the place while he stoped in and grabbed a beer, then my dad laughed a bit and I spoke up and said guess nobody else wanted me ? I was the baby my grandpa took for a walk and left outside, now I’m here with my father ! I was 25 back then, my dad passed shortly there after.
When he passed, I found out he served in the South Pacific, and in several of the most bloodiest battles, never spoke a word of it.

Simper-fi Dad,

[Bazoo]

I'm still dealing with cleaning out my Moms affects. Mostly it's junk, but after over 2 years of her passing, it's easier to throw away the stuff that needs it. Of course, there are plenty of things that I'm keeping, mostly things she had before my childhood that I have seen all my life. Most of the stuff though she got from yardsales, she enjoyed the hunt, and was a borderline hoarder. There was some bad memories.

Her Single Six is a good memory though. I had a Single Six with a 5 1/2" barrel, and I ended up buying another with a 4 3/4" barrel. Well, she just couldn't see straight because she wanted it so bad, so I gifted it to her. She had it about 8 or 10 years before her passing. She even carried it some in her purse after getting a CCDW license. It was one of her prised possessions, and of course, is one of mine.

She used to go out and shoot it sometimes when I'd come out and visit to shoot mine. After I parted with the 5 1/2" version I didn't have a 22 handgun for a while, and Mom would let me take hers whenever I'd come down to plink. I would shoot it, then clean it, and return it to the spot she kept it in her desk. After she passed and it became mine, I purchased a Simpley Rugged Sourdough Pancake holster for it.

[35 Rem]

My Father wasn't a gun enthusiast by any stretch of imagination but he did own several guns. The man one was a H&R 949 22LR revolver that he carried for snakes and the occasional rat killing in the chicken house. The rest of his guns sat mostly unused. It's the one I have the most sentiment over of all his guns for that reason. He passed away 17 years ago suddenly from cancer. I can't really relate to sorting through his stuff because our situation is different from most I suppose. We spent most every weekend together working on the farm and had a large shop for doing all our own mechanic work. I know when he got most every item in the building, why he bought it and why it's on the shelf where it still sits to this day. I bought some of it and it's still just as useful to me as it was to him. Also it is on the family farm where I'm moving back to so there is no reason to sell anything. If we ever DID decide to clear out all the stuff, it would take a huge effort with an auction company to get rid of all the farm machinery, trucks, spare engines, shelves of tools, etc. I can say it was definitely hard right after he passed to go out to that shop where we spent so many happy days and years and not have him there. The 1st time I cranked up his favorite tractor (1948 Farmall M) after he passed, it shook me to the core knowing he would never be back to hear it again.

[JRD]

I figured I'd post a follow up here. I've actually had the pleasure of dealing with some of the folks who've commented on this thread. My interactions in the swapping and selling section have all been positive and the kind of people who call this place "home" (at least on the internet), are the reason why all has gone so well.
Some folks have shared some precious memories of their fathers and some good insights on material possessions versus what's really valuable in your life.

The accumulation in my dad's gun room is getting better. There's even some bare floor showing in places now and it's easier to navigate. Rather than make it a huge effort all at once, I've made many shorter visits with my dad where I go "shopping". We clean some clutter, get rid of some junk, and I come up with some new items to list a little at a time.

The great part of this effort is that the many many hours of cleaning, sorting, tumbling, counting, listing, and shipping have turned enough of that clutter into some funds I could do something with. I bought my dad a "new" (50 years old but new to us) shotgun that he's really tickled with and did it entirely with the proceeds from my efforts on the swapping and selling forum. We'll make many more memories hunting pheasants with that shotgun than we will from navigating around the clutter in the gun room.