I guess I am becoming dumb and invisible

[Thumbcocker]

I retired 2 years ago. I had to wear a jacket and tie every day. Now I don't. I have bald / white hair and a grey/white beard. My choice of clothing these days is Carhart dungarees and tee shirts.

I have noticed that when I go to town or otherwise interact with the public that folks, especially younger folks, tend to look through me. Like I am not there. I have also noticed that people tend to explain things to me a lot more. Without going into a lot if details, I hold college degrees and a whole lot of life experience in a lot of areas. I haven't noticed any loss of mental ability but people seem to assume that upon passing 60 I got a lobotomy.

In September Mrs.Thumbcocker and I went to South Africa and hunted. There we were treated very respectfully by people from different races and cultures. Returning to the U.S. it was back to invisible and dumb.

Anyone else notice a difference in how you are treated as you age?

[HWooldridge]

Well, as they say - "The clothes make the man..."

I used to work for a true billionaire (i.e., he had more than 1,000,000,000 real dollars - not stocks or other volatile assets). He often came to the office dressed in jeans and an old shirt - then he would work outside on the landscaping, just to keep busy. Many visitors would come to our facility and assume he was a hired hand, and many would be very surprised when he came inside and washed his hands before sitting down in a meeting room.

And some of it may be in your mind - if you assume they are looking at you sideways, then they may be picking up on your "lower energy".

[dverna]

We are old and stupid. Get used to it. The 20 and 30 year olds have all the answers.

I was the CEO of two companies and see the same thing. I hear folks who could not run a lemonade stand pontificating about what is wrong with companies.

[Misery-Whip]

Im half your age and I see how technology has changed the ways of those who have it. I can use electronics, but struggle at times and go out and fill them with holes. Its not out of anger, i just dont like doing everything online. I think I should be able to apply for a job in person, do my taxes with a person, and check out groceries with a person.

I noticed the other day that all my friends are retired. I have more in common with the older generations, and cant stand the views of my piers and they cant come out in the woods to visit me because I dont share my wifi password. Because when I have they sit there on my couch for hours barely talking. When they talk its about their followers, tweets, their whatever that i dont take much stock in.

So when im your age, ill be moving where electronics arent, maybe Africa... Wont have much reason to stay unless I find younger friends.

[MrWolf]

Could be the impression you are giving out. I'm still 62, more salt than pepper in hair and a white beard and don't wear my business clothes either. Just carhart cargos and sweatshirt, flannel, etc. Depends on if wearing my carry vest. I look folks in the eyes. Most nod a greeting but never been looked at like not there. Could be your area and how the young folks were taught. It took me awhile to get my son to look folks in the eyes. Think it has to do with their phones and non existent social abilities.

[NSB]

I’m also a retired upper manager with a degree, and for years I wore a shirt and tie to work. Today, my “wardrobe” is a closet full of jeans (some “new ones” for good, and a lot of heavily worn ones). T-shirts and sweatshirts are the same. I notice some of what the OP says, but the fact of the matter for me is……I don’t care. I’ve lost no self confidence, still have most of the same friends (I’m losing them fast now days), and I have more than I need. It’s not all bad being able to “fly under the radar” most of the time. I never get tickets anymore, cops are really friendly. I also find that a lot of younger people are really super nice to this old geezer. The young people are just like we were, but we’re looking at them through a generation gap. Good people are still good people regardless of their age. The jerks are still jerks. I’ve actually got a lot of young friends that I shoot and hunt with. Ask yourself, would I be different than them if I were young again? Probably not.

[waksupi]

I kind of appreciate being "invisible" when I go to town. I do notice the young people at the VFW are very friendly and outgoing, unlike people you pass on the street. Although I do find that if I smile at a person, they always smile back.

[Ithaca Gunner]

Congratulations, you've attained ''grey man'' status.

[Silvercreek Farmer]

Not that old, not that shabby, and people still don’t seem to care enough to interact. Most of them didn’t seem to care when I was wearing a suit either. Maybe I don’t have enough tattoos or piercings to be cool? Or maybe they just want you to go away so they can bury their faces in their phones again?

There was an interesting point in my life when I started getting checked out by middle aged women. There might be another interesting point if I start getting checked out by seniors!

[country gent]

I have seen/noticed this also. One thing is here people are looking at what you do. A person at the top of their trade or profession commands more respect.Once you retire or become disabled then you are looked at as not as productive. In other cultures (even a lot of the Indian tribes) a persons accomplishments follow them into old age. Another reason for this is when you were working in your profession you were surrounded by your peers that knew what had been accomplished. Now surrounded by the man on the street and the younger generation they dont know you or have yet to realize what you accomplished getting to this point.

[huntinlever]

Yep, invisible. Sometime over the last 10 years I've realized that although I still thought of myself as the roaming 20-something lad "inside," the world moved on. And so did I. Nice to accept life as it is. I'm an older dude.

[fixit]

Some of it may be the way you carry yourself. I have the opposite problem....I stand out in a crowd, unless I take special measures to blend in. For my entire adult life, total strangers have seen fit to tell their life stories, as if I had the word counselor on my forehead. I don't know why this is, but at 61, I'm mostly used to it. NSB, you are right about the eye contact. Some appreciate it, others seem to have never had it! Oddly, eye contact and a smile seems to put some of the less savory types off their game...maybe it comes across as high confidence?

[popper]

We are old and stupid. Get used to it.
Nope, we ARE invisible to younger folks until they want something from us. Clothes make no difference. "I don't get no respect".

[HWooldridge]

Some of it may be the way you carry yourself. I have the opposite problem....I stand out in a crowd, unless I take special measures to blend in. For my entire adult life, total strangers have seen fit to tell their life stories, as if I had the word counselor on my forehead. I don't know why this is, but at 61, I'm mostly used to it. NSB, you are right about the eye contact. Some appreciate it, others seem to have never had it! Oddly, eye contact and a smile seems to put some of the less savory types off their game...maybe it comes across as high confidence?

That's what I meant with my comment about "energy". I never look at my cell phone while I'm out and about, so I'm constantly looking at the environment. Potential predators don't care for that profile - they want to approach people who are not focused on the here and now.

[BLAHUT]

Some of it may be the way you carry yourself. I have the opposite problem....I stand out in a crowd, unless I take special measures to blend in. For my entire adult life, total strangers have seen fit to tell their life stories, as if I had the word counselor on my forehead. I don't know why this is, but at 61, I'm mostly used to it. NSB, you are right about the eye contact. Some appreciate it, others seem to have never had it! Oddly, eye contact and a smile seems to put some of the less savory types off their game...maybe it comes across as high confidence?

Eye contact, now days by some, is taken as a threat.
YES; A smile goes a long way, Most these days the young do not receive them on any type of regularity ?
I am 73, have been looked down on for many years because I work with my hands and back, ran a propitious company of my own for many years, jeans and a T-shirt with work boots, is how I dress. Collage educated, multiple degrees, Yet; still I am looked down on, till they need something fixed, something simple, like replacing and outlet or light switch, or putting in a new light fixture, or replacing a door and frame, then I am needed and they pay dearly for my services. Still does not change their perceived image of me, JUST I DO NOT CARE, I know what I am and what I am capable of. I Just smile all the way to the bank. Years ago, I worked for a very, very rich man, people snickered when they saw him, thought he was a vagrant, He was in worn jeans and T-shirt, work boots, soiled clothes from work, I do not think I ever saw him with less than $5,000.00 or $10,000.00 in $100.00 in his pocket, they were amazed when he would walk into a meeting with big high buck bankers and high power attorneys. So just be yourself, clothes do not make the man, the one in front of you dressed like a bum, or the one dressed in expensive clothes, may or may not be what you perceive ??????

[MaryB]

They are not looking thru you, cell phone zombies do not see the world around them. You are just a colored blob standing in their way...

[MUSTANG]

Depends on where one resides/travels to. In North West Montana everywhere I go I am treated with respect (welllll maybe not walmart) and when I come into contact with the YOUTs (Youth - less than 40) they are still mostly respectful; but some bad society traits are beginning to emerge.

In the small communities 50 miles or so North of Las Vegas - I experience the same; but those areas are slowly withering as the population ages and the locally raised YOUT's are moving to other areas to make money - then retire back to the area. Those 40 and under residing there are mostly respectful of the Elders. There is a portion that are druggies, down and outs, or the Indian Communities that have been ruined by the Beneveolence and Total Control of the Federal Government.

Las Vegas - Whole Different Story. Rarely see someone less than 40 who has manners, respect, societal acceptable interaction with others - let alone their Elders. Then we have the Temporary and Permanent migrants from California who have large numbers of Pimps, Prostitutes, Drug Dealers/Users, Thugs, and.... inter midst. The Police have retrenched, 10 years ago the Strip and the Downtown areas were heavily patrolled and immediate massive response to "Problem Personalities"; that long gone now. Strangely; it's the Immigrants from the Southern Border (but legal and Illegal Aliens) who are more mostly respectful and committed to trying to make a better life.

[alfadan]

Im only 38 but exceptionally not attractive. Always been invisible but do prefer it that way. I still smile at the ladies, though they tend to eye me like a loose dog on their jogs.

[GOPHER SLAYER]

Since my hair has turned silver, I have noticed that young people have become very respectful. They call me sir and always hold the dooe open for my wife and I.

[hoodat]

Jesus sees us all, and great self esteem and pride aren't exactly the traits that he likes the most. I'll be happy if at my age, (66) I can be seen as the man that my Lord wants me to be.

Every man who lives long enough will come to the realization that he's not the man he used to be. Then, sometime after that, the really honest man will admit that he never was the man he thought he was. jdscholer