Performing "the last favor" and advice for widows, shooters, and survivors

[WebMonkey]

i'll echo the above comments.

when my dad passed (he was NOT a gun collector) my mom was plenty young enough to 'handle' anything that wasn't written down.

when my mom passed just a few short year later, the details for 'what goes where' were VERY complete.

this taught me, in person, how things could be handled to ease the survivor's burden.

i started with an 'inventory', now in open office format, when i had little.
now that i have more than that, it is nice to know there is a printed copy and a digital copy (that my wife knows how to get at) of my beloved treasures.


unfortunately for her (or other heirs) i have copious notes accompanying each photo describing just how beloved that particular treasure is.


while i don't update prices/values super regular, what i do have written down has a date with it (this was $$$ in 1990) etc.

it was a booger to digitize the first time but very easy to update now.

'monkey

[Froogal]

I guess I am probably the odd one out here, but my wife and I both shoot. She has been with me nearly every time I have purchased a firearm, and then places the sales receipt in a lockable box.

[MaryB]

I have done this 3 ties for ham radio friends widows and I will never do it again. Always get accusation form other hams I am not selling it for enough, I am keeping prime pieces for my own use etc... last one I made an inventory, told her that I am selling on eBay at whatever the going prices are that week and prices are VERY variable there. A radio worth $1k the week before may drop to $800 the next because something better came out...

And the towers and antennas sell for 1/3 new price making everyone mad at me. Something I cannot control... Told a friend who asked that no, I am not going through that again, it sours me on the hobby every time I do it. I told him to inventory everything, leave instructions to look up prices on eBay and list it for the average going price unless it is a pristine like new piece of equipment.

[snowwolfe]

My spouse was told numerous times if I died before her to put one gun at a time on Gunbrokers with a no reserve auction for 7-10 days. Once it was sold and shipped do it all over again. She knows how to get in touch with my FFL if handguns need to be mailed as well. Told her under no circumstances to sell the collection to a estate buyer. Under the best of conditions doubt she would get 20 cents on a dollar to a estate buyer.
Also keep a book that lists every gun I own, serial number, and type of scope or optic as well as what I paid for it.

[farmbif]

there are always the option of a place like rock island auction, they come to your door to pick up and pack the collection, for like $500, and then auction them off to the highest bidder, and then they just keep 25percent for the service. but they are reputable and honest and there is no getting caught in the middle of bad feelings and ruined friendships down the road.

[shooterg]

3 words . Auction. Auction. Auction . A well known auctioneer will get the widow as much a lot quicker . Sure, maybe one or 2 will go for a song, but on average(around here anyway) the auction prices are usually higher than LGS prices . And if I wanted one of my friend's pieces, I'll bid on it !

[Winger Ed.]

Always get accusation form other hams I am not selling it for enough, .

I have no tolerance for those whose only contribution to a bad situation is to criticize others that actually do the heavy lifting,
and nothing is ever good enough for them.

I've learned to smell it on people, and am ready to ask, "OK, there's still some left, how much are you willing to pay"?
Then it always gets real quiet.

[scattershot]

If she says she can't trust you, give her directions to the nearest gun store and walk away.

[Petrol & Powder]

My first thought is, the stress of everything at the time affected her. Understandable for someone in her position.

My second thought is, unless there is an extreme need for money right now; what's the rush?
Why does the property need to be disposed of instantly? Slow down, let her grieve and adjust. The stuff isn't going anywhere and a little bit of time may result in a far better outcome.

[turtlezx]

snowwolf has the right idea put them on gun broker
You dont need to know what anything is worth the auction decides the price
simple done and gone

[leadeye]

Tough situation, but you handled it well. I'm somewhat torn between having my collection distributed on GB to maximize the value or have an auction like a good Irish wake. Free drinks from my bourbon collection to bidders!

[reddog81]

One of the problems with selling guns is that the value can vary significantly depending on how much effort you put into it. A bunch of good pictures and accurate description can make $100’s of dollars in difference on an auction.

How soon you need to get rid of the gun makes a big difference. Going down to the LGS and dumping everything there is going to get a much different price vs doing a bunch of research and putting them up for sale on armslist and being able to sit on them for a few weeks until the right buyer comes along. One person lowball price is another person glad to get rid of it price.

[kerplode]

Whether it was due to her being distraught or she is a genuinely distrustful person to add into her request in our conversation, "I don't know if I can trust you"

This is called a clue...Walk away from this lady. You're guaranteed to get hassled for your trouble.

I do like the idea of pre-planning how to dispose of a collection. Good to value stuff and all, but better to just unload it all yourself before you croak. Or at least the stuff that's most valuable.

Really, though, I kinda think the government is gonna make "what to do with firearms when you die" stop being a problem at some point in the near future...

[cabezaverde]

I have told my family to take all the unwanted gun stuff to a local auction house that specializes in gun auctions. Sure, they take a cut, but things tend to sell for top prices and it is hassle free. A check just shows up in the mail.

[quail4jake]

What Scattershot said! Having been an executor and being a trustee, I can attest that the probability of later accusations of theft and other malfeasances is very high especially when the heirs and assigns start to appear. I wouldn't even recommend an attorney or a specific FFL / auction house, just advice to find one and follow their advice then break off with a warm, heartfelt handshake and say "I'm very sorry for your loss". Don't look back. If I were to purchase anything from that estate it would only be from a dealer with no special purchase advantage or at public auction and if that could be anonymous so much the better. Anyway take it as advice from a non attorney spokesperson...

[Winger Ed.]

I was disheartened after hearing her say, "I don't know if I can trust you"

I had to come back to this:

I've run it that sort of thing a few times here & there.
As I decline the wonderful opportunity ,,,,, my response has always be along the lines of,

'I don't mind helping, but I'm not going to do a sales campaign, con job, or fight ya for the privilege.'
Or, 'If ya don't think I can handle it, you owe it to yourself to find someone who can'.

[Shawlerbrook]

If she is at all apprehensive, then the situation will only get worse, especially after other scavengers attack your honest efforts. I think of the old saying.....hell is paved with good intentions . You seem to have handled the situation with honor and grace . I agree that in situations like these steering to a good auction house might be the best alternative.

[bedbugbilly]

I have been put in this position twice and fortunately, the widows were appreciative of the help and advice I gave them in regards to disposing the guns and items they wished to get rid of. Now, when I am asked, I refer them to a gun dealer who will give them a fair estimate of what firearms and related should sell for and recommend that they consign it.

I don't blame you for being upset at her comment about trust - especially if you were a friend of her husband. People all react differently to death - especially of a spouse. It may be the stress and strain she is under - or she could very well just be "that kind of person". While it bothers you, I would just shrug it off and take it as a sign that it might be better if you didn't get involved in it. It's not "you".

I keep a running inventory of what I have - now much I paid - etc. That doesn't[t mean that it is worth that at the time of my death but it would give my wife an idea of what things are as like most wives - it isn't her hobby and she has no idea of what a lot of things are even used for. We don't have kids but I have marked and listed some things that I would like her to give to a couple of different young fellows that I know would appreciate them. The rest of the stuff, I have several places where she could consign it and what it brings, it brings.

[dverna]

Why would a spouse trust anyone they may have never met? My friend has asked me to help his wife if he passes. I have known him for 15 years and have met her three times.

I will deal with her natural mistrust because I am helping my friend. He has willed me a $10k shotgun but I will sell it and give the proceeds to his widow.

If is was the widow of an acquaintance, I would not not want to take on the responsibility.

[john.k]

Guns are pretty easy to value.....try old car and motorbikes,especially parts.....some things have astronomical values,which many would dismiss as junk.....I see the widow mobbed by bargain hunters at the funeral,some even getting in early before the funeral....And its quite possible ,that good friends of the deceased are viewed as encouraging the collection of things that the wife was opposed to.