Performing "the last favor" and advice for widows, shooters, and survivors

[Old School Big Bore]

I've never been asked to handle that directly but was tasked by a church brother who had reluctantly got stuck being his golf buddy's executor. Luckily I did not know the deceased. I hauled tools to my friend's house, where he had the entire "collection" laid out and a spreadsheet started, with a printout for me to pencil in data. I cleaned, inspected, graded, repaired where necessary, and priced from the current blue book. It took me four days. When he asked what he owed me, I said, "whatever you think it's worth". He told me to pick any gun (an unfortunately bumper-chromed Deerstalker) and then told me to pick another (a pristine 5" M27) and because my friend was the cutout between the heirs and myself, I had no qualms about accepting them. The Deerstalker gets warmed up regularly and the 27, after a bit of shooting, the installation of a target rear sight and a bit of duty carry, is my only safe queen but will go to my eldest.
As for my own guns and loading/casting gear, I maintain a spreadsheet including the intended recipient and that will be appended to my will.
Ed <><

[Texas by God]

"If you want to make God smile, make plans"
After recently almost checking out( again), I have decided to continue giving the Special Keepers to my three children, and paring down the others to the minimum needed to "keep house". They will be given or sold away. I was the executor of my in laws estate, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. My Precious One of 33 years knows what to do.

Sent from my SM-A716U using Tapatalk

[Tom Trevor]

Owner of the local gun shop used the term "tipping over the widow"

[Lloyd Smale]

i did it for one guy and would have to say no to another. I know thats a bit harsh but it was a very stressful deal. I know what a guns worth i know what he paid for it. Now where do you draw the line at what your going to take for one. If im selling my own gun and take a loss oh well its my problem. but when i got to the gun shop or have someone make me an offer on something like a 454 ruger redhawk or a 757 win featherweight that i know is worth X dollars but i also know its not going to be in much demand around here because everyone wants 9mms and 270s. Where do I draw the line. Reloading gear is even worse. Either your going to spend weeks or months on the internet selling it boxing it up and shipping it or your going to take it in the pants locally. Dont know about you but i felt so guilty with the best offer on that 757 (which was 450 bucks) that i bought it myself for 650 and even then was worried i was ripping her off. If asked again id tell her to do one of two things. Take it all to a gunshop and get your money and pull up your pants afterward or get a family member to sell it. Had another buddy die a couple years ago. His wife had another friend sell his guns. I even bought two (at fair prices) and she came back later and chewed the guy out saying that her friends husband said she got ripped off on the money she got for them. NO THANKS.

[BP Dave]

About 25 years ago I went to a guy's house to look at a rolling block he had advertised for sale. He was elderly and frail--my grandfather's generation--with an old injury that made walking difficult. We got to talking and he showed me about 50 guns, reloading equipment, components, tools, etc. and asked if I would buy them. There were some decent pieces but nothing else that really fit my needs.

We talked about how he could sell everything, but his inability to walk while carrying anything was a real limitation on my suggestions. He had local family, but they were not willing to help, and as we talked he seemed to get increasingly desperate. I ended up taking it all to gun shows for him (half one month and half the next--remember gun shows?) for 10% of the gross. Why he trusted me, a stranger, I cannot tell--I guess he felt he had no choice (or was a good judge of character--hah hah). It was a lot of work, and I'm sure some folks got bargains, but he was pleased with the result, and in those pre-Internet days, his options were limited. Odd thing--he was a former machinist or toolmaker and had the most extensive and carefully stored and indexed collection of taps and dies I had ever seen--took up a wall of his hobby room. Those were the one thing I was interested in, but he would not part with them at any price. I think he was saving them for his family.

Looking back, I was very lucky—the unhelpful family could have shown up at any time to accuse me of ripping off "dear old dad," and at this point I would probably not do it again. If you agree to help someone like this, you are doing a tremendous service, but it is a lot of work. Plus, you run the risk of hard feelings or accusations, especially where someone has already expressed doubts or if some Sunday morning quarterback tells the widow you didn't do it right. To the original poster--she already said she doesn't know if she can trust you--that's a pretty big warning sign.

[john.k]

Shouldnt say it ,but my own mother turned quite mean and nasty in her final years.....she listened to a coterie of quite vicious old women ,who cursed everything about men,sons ,relations etc...and were always on the take ....She met this group through something organized by a social worker,supposedly ,a group who did hobbies together,but most of the women were on the breadline,where my mother was quite well off......The weakness and unreliability of men was in them dying years earlier than women,and escaping their obligations.....hard one to avoid ,that.

[Winger Ed.]

Shouldnt say it ,but my own mother turned quite mean and nasty in her final years.

So did my Mom.
My Dad made the observation- some women are like junk yard dogs, the older they get, the meaner they get.

[tankgunner59]

I was just thinking the other day that I need to sit down and make an inventory of my stuff with associated aproximate values. Thanks for the prod.

[gnappi]

Shouldnt say it ,but my own mother turned quite mean and nasty in her final years..>>SNIP<<

How odd for you to say that, In their later years both my mom AND dad were both perpetually angry... at me, the world. When folks ask me what took them I say "Pissedoffidness"

[45workhorse]

Blue book of gun values! Have her look things up! With you there, problem solved.
I did it for a friend of my wife, and walked away and never mentioned them again!

[Winger Ed.]

perpetually angry... at me, the world. When folks ask me what took them I say "Pissedoffidness"

Since I'm shameless---- I'm going to steal that, use it, and tell people I thought of it.

That happened to a buddy. His Dad went over that edge too.
It was so bad, if ya showed him something, he'd ask, "Where's mine"?
Then he'd go all goofy since you hadn't brought and given him one too.

I was talking to my buddy one time and the subject came up, and I told him I just couldn't handle being around him anymore.
He told me, "Yeah, I love my Dad, but sometimes this **** just sucks my will to live".

[MaryB]

To use a hashtag I started... #PerpetuallyOffended LOL

[MT Gianni]

My wifes sister's husband died unexpectedly about 5 years ago. She is a non-shooter but isn't yet ready to sell them off. Do not expect to be able to predict grief.

[lightman]

Lots of good advice above. But the best was to have a will or at least have a list. And make sure that your "Trusted Friend" is known to your survivors. This might save a few awkward moments down the road.

I'm not planning on leaving this world anytime soon but we don't know. I started 5 years ago when I retired selling off stuff that I didn't need or use anymore. A belt buckle collection, a knife collection, a few guns, spare of duplicated reloading equipment, ammo and brass that I no longer had firearms for, ect. I offered all of it to my two Sons and my Brother and then I rented a table at a local gun show and sold off the rest of it.