Performing "the last favor" and advice for widows, shooters, and survivors

[gnappi]

For the third time in my life this past week a longtime associate and fellow shooter passed away, and the widow asked of me at his church service to sort out his firearms and related stuff in order for her to sell it and possibly ask others and associates if they had any interest.

Whether it was due to her being distraught or she is a genuinely distrustful person to add into her request in our conversation, "I don't know if I can trust you"

Well, this got me thinking about final wishes of firearms owners.

First off, widows should not have to ask associates, friends, or family members for assistance placing values on firearm related items. So IMO the owner of said equipment should have a running list of their assets and estimates of value for when they pass on for survivors.

Next up, I was disheartened after hearing her say, "I don't know if I can trust you" and I figure if the deceased owner of said equipment trusted the suggested person to deal with the widow or children, making a statement like this may cause (as it did in my case) the person being asked for help to draw further away and provide enough information to assist disposal and minimal help after.

Finally for friends and associates of the deceased who are interested in obtaining some of these assets. IMO, offering the survivors a fair researched current price will not only relieve them of needing to sell / dispose on their own but gain trust in your offer should they research your offer.

[Mr Peabody]

We should all have the good graces to take care of the issue before hand. It's like making out a will, do it!

[richhodg66]

For the third time in my life this past week a longtime associate and fellow shooter passed away, and the widow asked of me at his church service to sort out his firearms and related stuff in order for her to sell it and possibly ask others and associates if they had any interest.

Whether it was due to her being distraught or she is a genuinely distrustful person to add into her request in our conversation, "I don't know if I can trust you"

Well, this got me thinking about final wishes of firearms owners.

First off, widows should not have to ask associates, friends, or family members for assistance placing values on firearm related items. So IMO the owner of said equipment should have a running list of their assets and estimates of value for when they pass on for survivors.

Next up, I was disheartened after hearing her say, "I don't know if I can trust you" and I figure if the deceased owner of said equipment trusted the suggested person to deal with the widow or children, making a statement like this may cause (as it did in my case) the person being asked for help to draw further away and provide enough information to assist disposal and minimal help after.

Finally for friends and associates of the deceased who are interested in obtaining some of these assets. IMO, offering the survivors a fair researched current price will not only relieve them of needing to sell / dispose on their own but gain trust in your offer should they research your offer.

I'm sure she didn't mean that the way it sounded. Like you said, probably not exactly in the best state of mind when she said it, but you know her better than I do, obviously. If you think she was sincer in it, I'd back away from that whole deal and have nothing to do with it, trouble waiting to happen.

[Rcmaveric]

Thats been discussed here a few times. Get your affairs in order before setting sail for God's Holy Range. That includes taking care of all your tool, die, collections, and arms.

I set a side a gun for each child. They can do with it as they please. For the rest its first come first serve. I also made a third party the executioner of my living and death will. Oddly enough my ex wife is the executioner of my living will. Wife and mom said they couldn't pull the plug on me. Ex wife called me bstrd for that move.

What ever isnt taken gets donated either on here or on Craigslist. It feels wrong to sell it. Bound to be new or experienced caster that would be more grateful and cherish they items knowing the history.. Doubt there would be anything left but the casting stuff. My whole family is a gun fanatics. My brother is starting to reload but I am the only experienced reloaded and the only caster. God willing though I got another 60 to 70 years of casting, shooting and hunting in me. Hoping to go in my sleep while hunting. Lay down on the trail for a little nap from chasing bambi and then have a great dream about meeting Jesus and it turn into a reality

She is just upset and distraught so I wouldn't take it personally.

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[Joe504]

I have had to do this, or help people tasked with this, 4 times. It's always a mess. Once was somone who was 40 years old.

Please guys, make a list, with descriptions, serial numbers and photos. Have estimated retail values, and select someone to handle your affairs.

Yes, it's time consuming, but, its absolutely necessary.

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[Elroy]

I would recommend to anyone that asked me ,that they advertise,and hold an auction. At an auction atmosphere a competitive frenzy will usually equate to a good selling price.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

My neighbor, Coworker, and friend of 20 yrs ...passed away 7 years ago of cancer, he was 76 and was a Korean War Vet, which I never knew until his funeral His wife, who is also my friend, asked me to evaluate her husbands guns for her, as she said she didn't trust her 3 Son-in-Laws

I am thinking those who are in the Greatest Generation, who have lived through some tough times, may be wary of people...all people...when it comes to money and/or expensive items.

I believe she only asked me to do this favor, as during a preliminary conversation, I told her that I had seen most of Orville's Guns in past years, and I had no interest in any of them. So she was likely just asking for evaluation for dispersion purposes to children and grandchildren.

That's my 2¢

[snowwolfe]

If someone in this situation told me they didn’t know if they could trust me my answer would be:
“Don’t worry about it, find someone else to do the favor.”
Why? Because likely no matter how much work I expended or cash received on the proceeds people would be telling her she could of gotten more.
It’s a no win situation after her comment.

[Joe504]

If someone in this situation told me they didn’t know if they could trust me my answer would be:
“Don’t worry about it, find someone else to do the favor.”
Why? Because likely no matter how much work I expended or cash received on the proceeds people would be telling her she could of gotten more.
It’s a no win situation after her comment.

People in grief will say things that they really do not mean.

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[Brass&Lead]

I am stunned. I had to sleep on it before I could come up with a civil response.

Firs off thank you for assisting the widows in disposing of their husbands sporting goods.

The comment of "I don't know if I can trust you" – WOW. Why is she asking you then?

Please be very careful.

[gnappi]

Thanks all, it just may be that it was a slip of the tongue, and I actually only met her a couple of times but like a knife thrust, words cannot be retrieved. After I declined to offer more than an honest multi page valuation she offered me a percentage of the proceeds to which I said it would be inappropriate to take money... in my view, case closed.

I think Joe504 is right in saying: "Because likely no matter how much work I expended or cash received on the proceeds people would be telling her she could of gotten more"

I've been burned in similar situations where even when my time and effort was donated others said I MUST have had some motive for my kindness, to hell with that!

Like my parents used to say when they got burned by friends, relatives or associates: "Let no good deed go unpunished" A sorry statement to make on relationships.

[Handloader109]

You did right. By both her, your friend and yourself. By offering to give her a written evaluation, and refusing payment as percentage, (I've no issue with nominal fee for time spent, It would depend on how good a friend he was and your circumstances) You made it so she could make up her own mind. Yes, I need to place a value on a lot of things around here, not only guns, I've got a bunch of exotic hardwood I bought two decades ago that is probably worth several thousand dollars now along with my tools.
But this is a two edged sword, you do set a value, but that value can and will change based upon time. You should also update as time goes by.

I wouldn't touch it past what you did.

[WILCO]

I no longer get involved with Widows and their requests.

[downzero]

I would tell her to find an auction house, especially if there was anything antique or unique. Now is the peak of market value for firearms and I'm sure she'll do fine. I echo the comments that if she doesn't completely trust you, you will end up putting this in the "no good deed goes unpunished" category.

[thxmrgarand]

Somehow I get asked to do this quite often; value firearms for a widow. First, I never buy any of the guns myself. Second, I give 3 prices for any firearm that has much value; (1) a garage sale price. (2) the price a LGS would ask. (3) the price she might receive if she is willing to wait until the right buyer comes along, which is somewhere between 1 & 2 of course. I always urge that nice guns, and if you like, iconic guns, be passed along to relatives rather than sold. Seldom is a there a gun that is worth even $2,000 so the dollar value is always unsubstantial. Too often I am disappointed to be told by the widow that she has already offered the guns to descendants and they don't want them. I always ask if there are boxes or other accessories, and sometimes I can match those up with the guns. If the guns have not been through an FFL outfit since 1968 then I urge the widow or executor to avoid doing that (and the impending White House change is strong evidence for me that I do all of us a favor - all Americans - in doing that). We need our guns for an uncertain future, and giving serial numbers to any government endangers those guns and their owners. And after all, my valuation is free.

[farmbif]

I went to funeral of close friend very recently and it was a bit crazy, the preacher preached and all that but a whole bunch of the people that I spoke to there seemed to be very interested in "what can I get from you" and the mans children started moving their dads stuff out before the funeral even happened and had plans all figured out to get trucks and trailers to get all their dads stuff off of moms place. maybe its just the times recently with economic conditions being very tight for a whole lot of people. but it kind of put a bad taste in my mouth. I was there to pay my respects to my friend and nothing more.

[salpal48]

Most people who Die with a Collection Of Firearms, leave there family with a general overstatement of what there collection is worth. This has justified their way of purchasing an item. They Know Of what They have been told For Years and years of Mistrust. I no longer get Involved. I only give them a List of auction houses to call. My pat standard answer. is " they are only worth what someone else is willing to Pay"

[GOPHER SLAYER]

I have been asked several times to help dispose of firearms collections. The last time I was asked by a widow of a shooting friend. I went to the home, appraised the collection which was made up of mostly of high quality S&W. I told her I would call friends, bring in one or two at a time. While there I wrote on each pistol what I thought would be a fair price. I brought one friend and he bought a pistol. Within a day or two I got a call from the widow's daughter wanting to know what I did with a certain S&W model. I told her I never saw a model 29. I then asked, are you accusing me of stealing the pistol? I told the daughter that her mother had sat and watched me all the time I was there and that I was wearing shorts and a light shirt and it would be very difficult to hide a large pistol on my person. After that she calmed down, then she gathered up all the firearms and took them to a gun shop and had Mom put them on consignment. Later the widow called me and apologized. I have received two more calls asking for help and I passed. When I was working it was known that I knew a lot about guns. Men would approach with a list of guns and asking for help. After a time I would tell them, forget about it, you will never see any of those guns. There are always relatives who swoop in and screw up the situation. When asked, if you can, just say I don't know enough abut guns to help.

[country gent]

This is always a touchy situation to be put in. The family member knows their deceased trustd you but they may have no first hand knowledge to base trust on. Always remember trust like respect inst given its earned over time. I have done this with firearms reloading equipment twice and more times with coworkers tools. You think firearms are hard try the accumulation of a 35 year tool makers boxes. Here chances are very good the wife family dont even know whats at work or even have an idea what they are for. They look through catalogs and see a top name tool and expect the shop made Dad had to be the same value. What was often done here was a shop held raffle on the tools boxes and things. Sometimes boxes would be split up into separate raffles.

With firearms collections when I ask I normally handle it in this way. I will meet with the whole family widow and children at one time. I offer my rough knowledge and recomend a local auction house to appraise the collection I know and trust. They are well versed in values and what to expect. Again they meet with me and all concerned to go over the items. Where it gets really tricky is the family members who want an item and making it "fair" to others. In one the firearms were to be given first choice to the children One boy every pick was a high dollar firearm the others was more sentimental. One is picking 1500-3000 firearms and the other 100-500.

By bringing in the expert to work with you and them you remove a lot of questions and concerns. Just your word with people you may or may not know well isnt a lot but the "expert" with your word goes along way to bolster their trust

[Winger Ed.]

It's always a tough spot to be in.

I've bought a few when I was told, "Money isn't the problem. I don't want the guns in the house, or our kids to get them".
This from a lady that bought a new Mercedes every 2nd year. She just wanted them gone.
I told her approx. what they were worth, and how much money I had, which wasn't even close to their value.
She said, "Fine, they're your problem now."

Another widow of a good customer came to me that had a couple, and once again, she wanted them gone.
She pulled up to the store looking for me, and she wasn't not going to take them back home.
I told her approx. what they were worth, and I could pay it. I turned my wallet upside down, and she was happy.

Another had a large collection. No way I could afford the high end weapons her husband had.
Money wasn't a problem for her, but she didn't want to have a fire sale either.
I got her in contact with our local gun store guy to put them on consignment.
It took about a year to sell them all, but she got a fair price for them.