People are hurting for friendship:

[Elroy]

I have always had friends, but when you get married,and get a good job your priorities change, and when you start having kids you can no longer have the same kind of fun that a single guy can. I ran with the same bunch of friends before we could even legally drive ,and they were like brothers to me. Most grew up,but one is still rowdy, and still gets in trouble. I am still friends with them all,but it is not the same. It's running into them in town, and kinda catching up on things. Family, and in-laws are about the only company we ever have, but I am very content with life.

[1hole]

Seems so few people ever have a true friend that they really don't even understand the word. Many people go through life thinking anyone they know and have a casual "friendly" relationship with must be a friend; that's rarely so.

I'm 80 now and have had friendly relations with hundreds of good people at work, church, play, etc., but only about twenty of them have been true friends in the strongest sense of the word. Several are now dead and a couple go back to high school days but the best camping, fishing, hunting, SCUBA diving friend I've ever had has been my wife for 61 years. Far too many couples are "in love" without ever being true friends; that's sad!

My wife told me that when I was in a coma some thirty five days in 2008 (and wasn't expected to live) a few of the men who visited me had tears; I'm still much surprised and humbled by that; very grateful too. (And, there may be a message about being a friend somewhere in there. ??)

I'm old, busted up, worn out and, by the world's standard, we live financially poor, but we're both still standing and looking straight at tomorrow with great expectations for more good things to come.

I believe our lives are largely in our own hands. As a child, I grew up in an emotionally abusive home; as a man, I can't find the words to properly express it but I consider myself an extremely lucky and God blessed man. Good friends have had a lot to do with that!

[gbrown]

I've had lots of friends in my life, but few I would really trust. Only 1 fit that category, but sadly he passed in 2009. He and I could trust and confide our deepest secrets or thoughts. I have few acquaintances today I would call true for friends. Doesn't bother me, I am not a social person, for various reasons that I recognize. Comes from my early childhood and situations I recognize. That's just who I am. I am really OK with it. Networking within your hobbies and profession is a positive and good thing. I never did it, and know it held me back, but I have no regrets.

[leadeye]

My wife is my best friend, has been for 42 years.

[Winger Ed.]

IMHO women are the worst. They complain about not having friends.

I was talking about that with a buddy about that once.
He made the observation: Most women don't have friends, they only have competitors.

[Cosmic_Charlie]

Well, we have aquiantences and we have friends. As we get older we learn to tell the difference between the two. Friends I count on one hand. Aquiantences are not worth counting.

[Elroy]

My wife is my best friend, has been for 42 years.

My Wife was my best friend for 2 ,or 3 years, BUT we have been married for 32 .LOL.

[buckwheatpaul]

What a great post....I have read that suicides are way up due to the isolation.....Friends are necessary and today got a email to write some letters to others as it is good for your health and the one that receives the letter....it makes them feel needed and worthwhile.....thanks again for the post .....IT IS SPOT ON AND A GODLY THING TO DO!

[Stephen Cohen]

I don't consider myself an overly religious person but do believe in 9 of the 10 Commandments. I have never had a lot of friends but those I do have a upright people as I am very selective, this does not mean I am not civil and respectful of those I don't consider friends. There are some really good posts here and I am some what sad that both Wolf , dverna and Winger Ed may well have solved the mystery. Regards Stephen

[tankgunner59]

I too have a lot of good friends, from work, church, people I've met through other social functions. But only a small number of great friends and a select few best friends. It doesn't make me sad. I have brothers who live within a mile or two of me and one within 15, and I don't get to see them very often at all. It's the old adage "life gets in the way", but I think that's our own faults cause we allow it to happen. My family, wife and son are my best friends and the only people I know for sure I can count on.
This is as much my fault as anyone else.
I will say I really appreciate the friends I have here. You folks are the only friends I can talk to about my hobby and that is a massive lift of spirit many times. Had a good visit with a father figure from my childhood, my big brother. He is now retired and he wants to spend more time together, hope it happens.

[.429&H110]

South of Tucson, here in the retirement village, we are glad to see you. We have fun, walk the dogs, go to church, hang out by the pool, I just picked a bowl of bush beans, cut some roses. Pima county range is good times. Geezers with guns. Everyone is getting their guns out again. I am a chauffeur to anyone. My car or yours, where are we going. Oh,no,not Costco again. Have taken people to free covid testing away up at first and grant, 22 miles of free-for-all traffic. My wife took 72 trips to TMC, 26 miles. Tucson people drive like they're drunk or blind or have a stupid deathwish. Like Boston but flat out. Tucson averages a dead pedestrian a day. Nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to drive there or try to cross the street.
When we go to eye surgery, or anywhere, I am out in the parking lot. Not allowed in, so a dozen people hang out in the parking lot. Tailgate picnic. Bring lawnchairs.
Once you are in the "Care Home" I cannot visit you.
I could bring Doris a bag of Burger King and leave it on the mat. Then she died at 102. Didn't die of BK or wuflu either.
Pastor cannot get in.
So you die. Alone.
This is wrong.
America has never been like this.
And we voted for more.
We are all we got.

[samari46]

I was in my eye surgeon's office after getting cataract surgery last year.Wearing masks and social distancing. struck up a conversation with an older retired oil field worker. Then he asks what did I do. I'm the end user. You pump it out of the ground,put it in rail cars,barges and tankers. So whet do you do with it in NY. Told him oil goes in storage tanks, heated up and either burned to make electricity or steam to run the generators. Whole conversation lasted about a half hour. What I think is that people have or are loosing the ability to communicate with each other. Subject matter is unimportant just get out there and talk. Frank

[Winger Ed.]

I have never had a lot of friends but those I do have a upright people as I am very selective, this does not mean I am not civil and respectful of those I don't consider friends.

That's where I'm at.
I see other folks talk about all their friends, and that's fine, and I'm happy for them;
but I often wonder if they're a little too generous with that word.

Over the years, I've crossed paths with a bunch of folks.
Most are acquaintances, a few are buddies that I know, have known, get along well with, and some I even trust to a degree.

But for me:
'Friend' is one of those magic words like 'honor', 'loyalty', 'duty', and a few others I'm real selective on how & when I use them.
I figure, if you have 5 true friends come in and out of your life-- you're truly rich.
For myself, I've got 4.
And I already feel that I'm richer than any amount of money would ever make me.

[rondog]

Ain't had no real friends in many years. Still have my old friends in my hometown, but not here where I live in CO.

[dangitgriff]

Several of you have commented about counting real friends on one hand...my own father told me exactly that, once, after I had asked him where all his buddies he used to run around with had disappeared to. He was one of those men that led a mostly solitary life after his tour in Korea, killing Chinese and North Koreans. He sort of withdrew from humanity a bit, if you can imagine. Nearly all of his peers had passed away by the time he did in 2003, and those that were left are now all gone, save one or two.
There’s a lesson in there for me, I just know it.
—Griff

[bedbugbilly]

I think of lot of us here are "older" and so I have to speak that way.

For the most part, we were all brought up that "To get respect, you have to earn it and show it". Friendship is no different. To have a friend, you have to be a friend.

If you look at how things are today . . .I'm talking in general . . . most people's lives revolve around their work . . and yes . . . you can establish friendships at work but you also need to establish friendships out in the world as well. But years ago, and I was brought up in a small town, you went to church on Sunday, you were involved in civic organizations like Kiwanis, Lions, the Mason Lodge, etc. and all of those were where you created many fine friendships. A lot of people just are not involved like that anymore . . . their lives are "too busy". I look at the young people today and their noses are stuck to their smart phones - they know how to text and all of that carp - but they don't know how to have manful one on one relationships/friendships. Older folks have always suffered at times from lack of friendships - it makes sense especially when long time friends pass away.

The "gift" that the Communist Chinese decided to give the world brings the problem to an even higher level. People . . . even those who have family, spouses, etc. are sick and tired of being cooped up. Why? Because God designed humans to need each other . . . and we all have the need for love, recognition and a feeling of "worth". Everyone needs social interaction with others.

I was brought up that "It is better to give than to receive". A lot of us were. Being a friend is taking the good with the bad at times but then it can be a two way street as well. We all have disagreements with others at times but forgive and forget and don't let it ruin a friendship.

There are so many lonely people in this world . . . especially older folks but it is not limited to them. My mother-in-law was in Assisted Living for three years before she passed. Both my wife and I would stop in to see her during the week. On Sundays, we took our two small dogs so she could see them as she loved them dearly. It wasn't long and when we left from our visit with her, we started stopping in other rooms so the residents could see them. Many had infrequent visitors and every week we made it a point to stop in and let them see and pet the dogs and we would visit. We became friends with them all and the smile other faces when we walked in was worth it each and every time. After my mother-in-law passed away, we continued to go and visit with them often - because everyone one needs friends to talk to.

There are a lot of folks out there - of all ages - who have been isolated by all of this pandemic and quarantine. Even if you don't know someone that well . . it might be a neighbor, someone you are acquainted with from work, church or in a club you belong to - a phone call can make the difference between them feeling lonely, lost or depressed. A call to say hi and ask how they are doing takes very little time and is a good way to make a new friend.

I have been very fortunate in my life to have many friends. Some I have known a lifetime and some perhaps only a short time. In the last month and a half, I have lost two good friends to illness. I know that I will be losing another one in just a few weeks from illness. Some friends "come and go" but we are all better for having known each other.

For those that are "pet people" - you can probably relate to this. My wife and I never had children - she taught school her entire career and her kids were "our kids" - many of whom we still have contact with. During our almost 49 years of marriage, we have had a number of dogs who were "our kids". I now have a little 10 pound poodle - she was a rescue dog. She was abused and mistreated before I got her but it didn't take her long to realize that she had a good, loving and secure home. I joke that it didn't take her long to "train" me. We always hear that "dog" is "god" spelled backwards and I try believe that there is a lesson there. She is fully devoted to me and I am to her. It makes no difference to her if I am having a bad day, am tired or whatever . . . she accepts me for me and is there to sit on my lap, give me a lick on the cheek and demanding that I pet her. In turn, I know how lucky I am to have her. When she has a bad day, is feeling punky or rarely has an accident in the house - I am there for her. When I had surgery this last April and was recovering for a period of over twenty weeks, she was right next to me all day and all night. Sometimes we all get in such a hurry or tied up with life that we fail to take the time to stop and think about the important things in life. We have so much we can learn if we just take the time to watch nature and our pets and learn the lessons that they can teach us about true friendship and then transfer that to ourselves and reach out to help another person's life better. Everybody needs friends.

[MrWolf]

Speaking of dogs and knowing when we are hurting, Ruger (in my avatar) kept pushing on me as I was laying on the floor (bad back) with a migraine. Told him I was hurting to leave me alone. Minute later he was back again pushing on my shoulder. He had brought me his toy and left it there for me and he went and layer down on the couch. They understand a lot more than folks give them credit for.

[largom]

Have had a lot of friends in the past, as long as I could do things for them. Best friend I have today is my little dog.

[jonp]

Member here saw my thread about lack of primers and stopped out of the blue and gave me a box. You know who you and thanks again

[Slugster]

"Social Distance" has been my lifestyle since I turned 11 years old. Have been fortunate to have 4 good friends in my life. 3 have died. The one friend that I have left is a great guy, and If I needed something he would be on my front porch in 20 minutes. Same goes for me.