People are hurting for friendship:

[Traffer]

I posted this on my MeWe page but I don't think anyone will actually see it. sigh So I am also posting it here for the consideration of you folks. All comments are appreciated:

I was brought to realize something recently. Reading comments on a Youtube video on "How to get free stuff" (from your friends) By Jeremy Feilding, one person posted "First you have to have friends 😢. "
I thought it was a joke and commented that it made me laugh.
That prompted quite a few replies on the fact that many people out there in internet land REALLY do not have friends.
Some even rebuked me for taking it lightly.
Let me say here right now. I HAD NO IDEA.
I am 68 years old and NEVER had a problem finding or making or having friends.
On the contrary, I have lamented more than once that friends were a burden that often wore me out. And half jokingly said "I need to get rid of some of my friends".
But here I am now actually shocked by the state of our society that so many people struggle with sadness over not having friends.
In fact I was just praying for them.
It actually breaks my heart to think of.
I can and will be praying but thinking of what else I can do, came up with several ideas:
One obviously is to make more friends to try to cheer people up. Comfort people. Show grace and mercy to them. All things I needed to consider anyway as a disciple of Jesus Christ. He did, after all, say "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Okay I will repent..
Another idea:
Teach people how to make friends. Yes, I can do that. But it must done with the utmost consideration.
People who don't have friends generally do not like to be taught either. (just part of the new society that has been spawned since the absence of Christian charity.
Yes Christian charity is the key. "Love one another" is a practically defunct directive in our youth. It has been for quite some time.
I dare say few people know what phileo is anymore. (philéō -from phílos, "affectionate friendship" – properly, to show warm affection in intimate friendship, characterized by tender, heartfelt consideration and kinship. )
So how to you instruct a person to gain a practical knowledge of this concept?
I guess baby steps?
We all have a desire to be loved.
We all have a desire to be accepted.
How does one get someone to accept them?
Actually even before the desire to be accepted I guess would come being interested enough in someone else to even desire to be accepted.
I dare say many folks have acquiesced to the point of not having any interest in other people. (comes from prolonged discouragement).
When I was a youngster (10 or 12 yrs old?) My dad was concerned for me because I had lost interest in making friends.
I will never forget his admonition: "Boy, take an interest in people".
I have come to realize, looking back at my life, if there is one quality I have that has helped me in life it is the fact that I have been doing just that. I guess I made a habit of it.
I believe it is the KEY to making friends...
Simply
"TAKE AN INTEREST IN PEOPLE"
Many years later I found the same directive in the Bible...Philippians 2:4 "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others".
End of lesson #1

[abunaitoo]

Speaking of friends.
One just stopped by today.
Dropped off bags of empty cans and bottles and..............
a big box of ammo.
Haven't had a chance to go through it, but it's good to have friends.

[MrWolf]

Lot of folks today confuse their jobs with having a life or just expect for friends, dates, etc. to just show up at their door with no effort. See it first hand with my son. To much anonymous time spent with computers and games.

[dverna]

IMHO women are the worst. They complain about not having friends. They resent their man having fun with his friends. Most women can not have a disagreement and move on...they let it fester and poison relationships.

Agree with Wolf....too many people spend too much time on computers and worse of all “smart” phones. Go to a restaurant and see how many are sitting with others and texting or checking email, facebook, Twitter, or whatever the latest craze is.

[dangitgriff]

It is no coincidence that the atomization via secularization of the Western World’s population and the centralization of government power are parallel phenomena. Adherence to religious dogma incorporates a deference to a government authority that the global population is rejecting thus far in the 21st century. Government and religion have failed the people rebelling in the streets.
On the other side of this conversation, Tolkien’s vision of the One Ring and Orwell’s fear of the omnipresent government are warnings that have gone largely unheeded. Continued rejection of the canon of Christianity will only lead us further into ruin. A prompt and timely return to the status quo ante of the last century would be a good first step to re-evaluate what we desire our future to become. I fear it may be too late and friendships will continue to decline as the polarization of society as a whole through the politicization of every aspect of daily life continues at its current relentless pace. Friendships free of politics are becoming rarer by the year.
R/Griff

[gnappi]

I'm in the "I don't care to have friends" camp. My Mom used to say "If you acquire ONE life long friend during your life, consider yourself fortunate".

My experiences with "friends" over my life has been a drift in and out affair. I was lucky to have one life long friend who passed away too young at 61 in 2014, as well as others long gone also.

Dverna's observation:

"Most women can not have a disagreement and move on...they let it fester and poison relationships"

I find this true of men also.

[Land Owner]

Everyone has a camera looking for a victim. It is an era of "social justice" in the court of public opinion with a media inspired high dose of get rich quick. Having a "following" on social media is more important than developing real people skills. Take for example (a real bad example) the girl that LET her sister DIE after a car accident so that the surviving sister could get "good video" for her Twitter "following" rather than provide her injured sister with life sustaining first aid. How "friendly" was that - blood?

In this communication age, reminiscent of WWII, with text abbreviations for everything, there is no personality in anything anymore. Too many let their TV tell them in what to be afraid - and in madness they listen. Few are willing to take a hard stand. Fewer still actually THINK for themselves. Education is squandered and lacking.

There are too many Sheeple willing to go along to get along rather than GET A LIFE. Who wants to befriend someone that is High Maintenance? You have to be a friend with some semblance of a personality and social skills in order to meet people, make friends, and keep a relationship.

What is the cliché, meet her in a bar - lose her in a bar? Another is akin to "break a girl from her pack" in order to foster a relationship. It is NATURAL and in our GENES to want the attention of others, particularly the attention of the opposite sex (now condemned to pronouns and not knowing in which bathroom to go). The rise of LGBTQ is a breakdown in social norms. Sodom and Gomorrah days are looming - again.

It is TOUGH to start a relationship. It takes intestinal fortitude to suffer rejection and to keep trying. Those that succeed advance society. Those that fail leave this life having marked nothing of value.

[Parson]

Proverbs 18:24

[GhostHawk]

How can you possibly have a real friend when you have your nose buried in your phone all the time?

Friendship takes 1 on 1 attention, 110% attention. When they call, you drop everything and go.

You have to be ready to forgive one unforgivable fault right off the start.
They are going to believe in something you do not, or they are going to have some kind of personal habit that if left alone would drive you around the bend. You have to be ready to forgive that. Put it totally out of mind.

I had a hunting friend for years that was married, had 3 kids. He was always 15 to 25 minutes late. So I just started adding a half hour. If I wanted to roll at 4:30 I told him 4. And I made sure I was 15 minutes early just in case.

It can't be all one way, it has to be give and take.
My wife has been complaining about a new friend of mine. When he showed up with a nice Finn M39 Mosin I gave him 20 rounds of soft point ammo on stripper clips. She complained about it. Today he showed up, just to talk, found me struggling trying to figure out how to get a drain pain under a new main floor washing machine. 10 minutes later between the 2 of us it was done.
Bit of my know how, bit of his strength.

Friends are like seeds, they have to be cultivated, watered, encouraged, loved.

And if you are lucky enough to have 3-5 real friends through your life, consider yourself lucky.
I mean the kind that will drive 50 miles to tow you home. Or who will show up at 3am to bail you out of jail.

And it is always a 2 way street. Both sides have to get something out of it.

[cp1969]

A good friend will help you move.

A REALLY good friend will help you move a body.

[BigAlofPa.]

Friends come and go. I have a few true friends. They are my family and pets. My neighbor and i are good friends. Were always doing things for each other. Free stuff i do not look to get. I like to earn it. Even something as simple as gathering brass,berry's wild garlic. A fresh rabbit ,pheasant deer. Those items we work for. Via time put in. Gas to feed the vehicle to get to those items.

[MrWolf]

Think a lot of folks are just scared of being alone. Tried explaining that you really need to be happy with yourself first. I happen to like being left alone. Luckily found a woman who agrees (well two of us alone). Life is to short. Not happy with how it is, change it.

[RU shooter]

I'm in the only have a few friends camp , I was raised in middle of no where all my life and learned to be happy being alone still that way for the most part but the few friends I have now I treasure as I know if I would need one in the middle of the night they would be by my side in minutes . My wife is the polar opposite a true social butterfly and enjoys meeting new people and socializing

[Bazoo]

Hurting for friendship describes how I feel. I have a few friends, and while some are decent enough, it's mostly one sided. Most of them don't come to my home. One friend comes down to use my range. Other than that, folks mostly don't come down.

I been lonely all my life.

Started by being an only child. Dad died when I was 5. Grew up poor. There was no money for me to join scouts or play sports. I didn't have any friends from school that came over, nor that I visited.

When I was 13 we moved next to a cousin. We played a lot for a few years. But we grew apart because we couldn't get along. He wanted to boss me, rarely play my games. Playing video games with him consisted of me watching him play. And he was a perv, I wasn't.

When I got a job, I made friends, 1 I still have. But most didn't last past their employment.

The friends I have, 3 I consider good friends, none of which I can count on. I could count on them if they could fit me in their schedules, probably.

One friend I go to the gun store with occasionally. He uses my range. He is unsafe and has had a negligent discharge in my house. Thankfully no one was hurt. He's my only friend that has interest in guns, and is a nice enough person. We have fun going to gun stores together though I'm embarrassed when he looks at a gun without checking it for loaded. I check even if the clerk checks first.

Another friend, he's an okay friend but his wife is snooty, which has rubbed off on him, and since I'm a little rough, we don't spend much time together. They keep a real nice house. We live in a house that ain't real nice. Those don't mix well, they don't visit much. Not to mention their kids are savages. I can't count on him, though if he has time he will help me. We been friends 20 years nearly. He likes guns, but only as a hunting tool.

I remember a time that those two friends went to the machinegun shoot and didn't offer to take me. I said why didn't you mention it. The latter told me, well you always decline to go other places. The other places they had went were laser tag in the middle of the night, concerts, things I have no interest in. They knew I'd like to go to the machinegun shoot but left me out.

The other person I consider a friend is a flibbertigibbet. She's nice enough but tells you all of everyone else's business. So we can only assume she tells everyone else all of our business. She's our neighbor a few miles up the road, and she'll help us when she can. Example, our vaccum cleaner is on the fritz, she loaned us hers. Our car is on the fritz, she will take my wife to town.

Might as well tell you the story of how I got a wife, since I ain't a socially successful person. We met online on MySpace. So we decided it was gods will for us to be together. I drove from KY to NC and picked her up. Her folks were on vacation, and she moved back with me the first time she layed eyes on me. We got married a week later. She was 18, so even though her folks called the law on us there was no recourse. Been married 12 years.

She's the best friend I have.

[farmbif]

live long enough and get like me all my friends dying off.

[poppy42]

I just have a couple things to say in response. First off I have very few friends. I have a lot acquaintances but very few true friends. Second off, the Friends that I have didn’t become friends because they read some post I made on some social media or Internet whatever. I don’t do Facebook, Twitter, or any other so-called social media Internet site. And no I do not consider this forum to be social media. I consider it a place where like-minded individuals can teach and be taught various aspects of reloading.
All my friends have become my friends over time. They did not become my friends because they liked some particular photo or statement that I posted someplace. They are my friends because I respect them, I enjoy communicating with them, I trust them, and I value their opinions as they value mine. And it doesn’t matter whether I agree with their opinions or not. That’s just a few of the criteria it takes for me to consider someone my friend. And no I don’t desire to be loved or liked. As a matter fact I have quite often said dogs are like people not so much. I’m sorry if that seems arrogant to some it’s not meant to be it’s just the way I am.

[megasupermagnum]

It was probably just a guy venting. Kinda hard to make friends this year when you can be legally fined for socializing.

[Winger Ed.]

A good friend will help you move.
A REALLY good friend will help you move a body.

A friend will come bail you out of jail at 3:00 AM.

A good friend will be sitting on the bench next to you and ask, "How did we end up in here"

[Winger Ed.]

Something I learned a long time ago:

If you want to have a good friend,,,,,,, first you have to be one.

[dtknowles]

To have friends you have to want them. You have to earn them. You must care for them and nourish them.

Tim