People are hurting for friendship:

[MT Gianni]

When your mother won't let you play in the yard unsupervised, when you can't ride a bicycle without helmets, pads and a tracker device, when competitive sports are thought of as bad, you wonder why young adults today can't make friends?

[dangitgriff]

Charles Bukowski on being alone:

https://youtu.be/JcTxK9htfQM

[samari46]

I know talking to people can help some folks when they face situations not of their making. I was in Lowes and in the paint dept. Woman was looking for spare blades for a brand name of what we call a box cutter utility knife. So I suggested we go to tool world and see what they have. 50 blade pack and 100 blade pack. She say's are you sure they will fit properly. Opened one pack took her tool apart took out the old blade and put a brand new one and here you are. Storeguy walks by and asks what's going on. Told him about the stanley utility knive blades made by stanley will fit just about any utility knife. He assured the lady that I was right and she could use those blades in her more expensive utility knive.I normally have about a half dozen utility knives around and buy my blades in the 100 pack. She seemed happy and it wasn't an expensive purchase.Guy came over and said I've never saw one person so worked up getting utility knive blades so worked up like that. Frank

[RogerDat]

Something I learned a long time ago:

If you want to have a good friend,,,,,,, first you have to be one.

This is it 100% with a good dose of be willing for your friend to be different than you are. Or see some things differently. I think to some extent that is why so many lifelong friendships are made when we are kids or young adults. Our lives and our horizons are smaller, our concerns are the same as most other kids, we are considerably less set and polarized in our thinking and view.

We tend to do more of the same activities as the other kids our age, and as young adults we are full of vinegar and more inclined to burning our candle at both ends and having a good time with our friends who are often still doing the same activities as we are.

Drinking with your friends on the bowling team then shooting pool and drinking after while chasing whatever is available provides for shared experiences and connections with people. These become much harder to maintain as we grow older, are raising a family, have more responsibility at work etc. Time to cultivate friendships becomes an item competing for a precious resource. Time.

Those friends from back when are precious because we shared our lives with them growing up. I could spend more time with a buddy in a summer when I was a kid or teenager than I get to spend with my wife in 6 months when working and being gone. Or buddies from work where we spent 8 hrs. a day around each other, then went out to have a good time together after work. Lot of chances there to be part of each others lives in big and little ways.

We also lack the robust and active groups that used to bring us together with strangers. Optimists, Masons, Kiwanis these groups like church are as much about social connections. And it is probably worth noting they tended to cross neighborhood, professional, and social lines. People who were blue and white collar, Democrat and Republican, from different parts of the community or society. These were a place that friendships were created and maintained as the time to attend these club events kept people in touch. It also probably provided a reduction in polarization. Harder to hate or dismiss the opposing groups if you know members from attending club picnics and fund raiser that despite some differences they are good folks who are always willing to lend a hand.

If you take that 70 some million voted for Biden and 70 some million voted for Trump you have a fairly close 50/50 split of almost 150 million people that in many cases can't even talk to each other let alone be friends. That represents almost half the US population. Even larger percentage of the adult US population.

One thing I figured out while not going into work due to corona. I see my co-workers more than my close friends, I talk with them about what is going on with me or them, what is going on in the world more frequently too. Absent seeing them it is more lonely. I keep in touch with some friends, touch base with co-workers, say a howdy to the neighbors but those casual friendships provide a lot of human contact and social support which is greatly reduced right now. It gives one something to think about if retirement is approaching.

That said I'm not a big fan of groups, I like people but large groups less so. About the number that will fit around a campfire is right number. Although sometimes a pretty big fire is nice too.

[quilbilly]

A good friend will help you move.

A REALLY good friend will help you move a body.

A really, really good friend will bring the backhoe

[Mongrelcat]

I have been fortunate to have several great friends. The kind where you are happy when good comes to the other and concerned and empathetic when evil lurks. I lost one of this dear friends this afternoon. Most folks say my friend, but they are just passing acquaintances. I been truly blessed in the friend regard..I lost a good one this afternoon. He met me as I started digging in my driveway 35 yrs ago. He was helpful with my migration into the local families and small farmers in the community and the in's and outs of our small town. He was always there to help or just for a good chat. He will be sorely missed here.
Rest in Peace my friend, I'm sure you are dancing with Betty Faye tonight.

[blackthorn]

I was an only child and the nearest other kids were at least a half mile away from our house so, I was forced to find ways to amuse myself most of the time. Being alone does not bother me much. When I started to read this thread, my initial reaction was along the lines of “suck it up princess”, but on reflection I came to the conclusion that we are all different and we all require different things in order to be content.

As we go through life, we make friends at different stages and under different circumstances. If, over the course of our lifetime, we make 10 real friends we are fortunate indeed. As our life choices change our circumstances, so change our priorities and activities, all of which contribute to both a reduction and an increase in our circle of acquaintances (some of whom become friends) (maybe). As our lives change, we lose contact with old friends and/or our interests grow in different directions. We keep in contact for awhile but slowly drift apart. Life goes on for each of us. My Dad grew up in a small town, married, and together they raised me, and he (and Mother) lived by the Golden Rule. When he passed (in his 70’s) there was no room for all the people who attended his service and some had to stand outside the church, but while I put the majority of those mourners in the acquaintance category, I can only recall him having one true friend for whom he would have done anything and the reverse was true as well. I have tried to live my life as he did, and, on reflection, I find there are likely only five people I would call real friends. While I find these restricted times inconvenient (sometimes excessively so), I am not devastated to any extent, I just try to accept things are what they are and move along as best I can. I find it very sad that people appear to be devastated because they are forced to isolate during these trying times.