Update and Praising the Lord

[GhostHawk]

June second Cindy went back to the hospital in an ambulance. She was running a fever, had a Urinary tract infection, and was septic.

One of the screws fusing her L1-L2 joint was infected, badly. She was out of her head. Half the time could not remember her name. Thought there was 5 quarters in a dollar. They put her on a 6 week course of IV antibiotics, along with antibiotics by mouth. She was 11 days in the hospital then moved up a floor to a Rehab facility in the same building.

For the first month because of the whole Covid thing I could not see her at all. We did talk on our phones several times a day.

I was frustrated because it seemed like the Hospital and this Vibra rehab facility were constantly screwing things up.

Like the antidepressant she has been on since 89 was left out of her meds for 10 days.
And the only IV antibiotic that she was not allergic too was tearing her veins to pieces. Normal iv she'd get 2 treatments before it plugged up and they would have to start a new one.

Twice she had pic lines done and both times she was reacting to the tape they used to secure them. So she would itch them in her sleep and screw it up to where it would have to be removed.

The antibiotics severely inhibited her appetite. She has lost 60 lbs since Christmas, 30 in the last 6 weeks.

The infection points in her back took forever to heal. She kept having problems with the drains that were supposed to help. At one point she told people for 3 days that this drain is not working until her doctor finally heard her. He went and looked, unit was defective, had an air leak, so it would not, could not work.

That is the bad news, the hard stuff I have been slogging through for the last 6 weeks.

Here is the good news.

SHE IS HOME!

She is strong
She is able to get up and down on her own. Only thing she really needs help with are getting high things or things off the floor.
First 2 days were rocky, but we are back to our loving supporting caring roles.

Yesterday we were able to do haircuts for each other (I looked like Bozo)

The Lord in his infinite grace told me, Bill I know the load is on you. You have to do your work, her work, and take care of her also.
The strength you need to do this is there waiting for you bill. Draw on it as you have need of it.

Yesterday I was 4 loads of clothes, did dishes in the dishwasher, did haircuts, looked after my wife, and rearranged my hydroponics plants, swapping bigger plants outside for sun. I never ran out.

I just wanted you all to know. Yours prayers were heard. And they made all the difference in the world.

Cindy is home, cleaning, organizing, going through the backlog of mail. Singing (what a happy joyful sound)

So she has some rehab in front of her, and some readjusting. But she is coping.

I am sorry I have kept some of you in the dark at times. I was not coping so well.
Doing great now though.

Brothers I can never repay the gifts you have given. But if you have need, ASK, it shall be granted.

Thank you each and every one.

We are doing fine and the adventure continues. Just not sure we are going to be doing any traveling in the near future.

Love you guys.

[Wayne Smith]

I would be vastly surprised if you did any traveling anytime soon! God is good and His supply is inexhaustible, as you are discovering. Hold on until He brings you home, and He will provide for all your needs. His grace is also inexhaustible, and provides for way more than our 'needs'.

[pworley1]

Good to hear she is improving.

[Pine Baron]

Thanks Bill for the update. My heart breaks when I hear about Cindy's troubles, but to hear she's home and singing! That restores my heart. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Stay strong brother. Prayers continue.

[Boaz]

Your report had a happy ending at least in respect to the beginning of your post . Still praying for further recovery and help for you both . Thank you for sharing this with us .

[Markopolo]

praise God !!!! good for your GH

[missionary5155]

That is very good news !

[USMC87]

Praise God for His wonderful grace and mercy!

[WRideout]

It sounds promising if you all can handle the little daily chores, including haircutting. I tried once to cut my stepdaughter's hair, but it ended in disaster. Your wife is a brave woman!

Wayne

PS: I love you as a brother, even though we haven't met.

[Bazoo]

Glad it's going well and prayers are being answered.

[GhostHawk]

I am of two minds about this.

My stepdaughter is in a bind, mostly of her own making.
She is being evicted from the duplex her and her husband and 2 children have been living in.
She has no credit because a year ago her son ran up 25,000$ in medical bills because of high fevers and epileptic fits.
The good news there is he is on medication and doing great.

But because my daughter ran away from those bills instead of facing problems head on now she is in a bind.

She is not what I would call an ideal renter. Rent paid can be late, short, and she can be slow to make up what she owes.
But, my wife asked me to put out a call for help for Katie.
When I tried to get her to sit down and help me write it she took the request back.

The schools are only going to open part time up here, 2 days a week, rest would be online part days.
Katie can not afford the day care, nor can she afford to not work full time. So she is stuck on the horns of a dilemma.

Her husband Dan is not much of a man, being self absorbed. Most of what he earns goes to support his tobacco and alcohol habits.

So I think they are going to be forced to move back to his folks in North Carolina west of Jacksonville.

Rent is cheaper there, grandma and grandpa are in a bit better health than Cindy and I are.
They can take the kids at least some of the time.

So I guess what I am really asking for is for Katie to learn the lessons she needs to learn.
For Dan to grow up and start pulling his share of the load. For them both to find a way out of this hole they have dug themselves into.

And I really hesitate to ask this of you brothers. So I am not going to.

I am just going to tell the story and let each of your hearts decide.
Thank you for listening.J

This is a tough one to know how to handle.

And yes I could help Katie financially, but after last January I cut her off. I gave her 20k in cash for her to get a good start on a RN degree and she chose to spend it elsewhere. On top of everything else given to her 20k is not bad inheritance for a step daughter that does not like to talk to her step dad.

God Bless Each and every one of you who made it this far.

Bill and Cindy in Fargo ND

[Pine Baron]

Bill,
There is nothing you can do. It's all up to the Lord, but then you know that. The best you (and we) can do is pray for Katie and Dan to soften their hearts and open their eyes to the guiding hand that leads them on the right path. Eventually they'll get it. Praying it's sooner than later. All you and Cindy can do is keep your hearts open. Make sure Katie understands that your love for her is unconditional, but your largess is not.
Prayers for Katie and Dan to find God's grace and guidance. Prayers for you and Cindy that your worry and concern be lifted.
Go in peace, my brother.

[Boaz]

Pine Baron is right .
He gave me council one time on unconditional love as we were talking on the phone . I was in the same situation you are now with an errant child of my own . I still remember that conversation and use his words to this day .

As much as we love our children we can not control their lives . But we can offer guidance and still love them . I pray for guidance for my children daily as they go where I have already been .

[GhostHawk]

Pine Baron, once again I owe you sir. You cut to the heart of the matter. And you convinced me, not that I did not know it was the right road to beguin with.

I think you have helped convince my wife. Being a woman, and a mother they don't see anything logically. Tis all emotion.
Katie has to find her own path out of this. And the choices she makes will determine if she really learned her lessons, or if she just ducked them.
In which case they will be back bigger and harder until she does.

Bless you both. Thank you. If nothing else you have given me peace.

[WRideout]

If Katie is in a family where alcohol is involved, the whole family is affected. She may not be able to change until she decides that she will no longer be able to live like she is. Sometimes that requires that things get bad enough. I will pray for your family.

Wayne

[GhostHawk]

Well her husband is diagnosed bipolar, but prefers to self medicate with 20 or more cans of beer on an average night instead of taking his pills.

I agree that she may have to get into very tough conditions before she will insist on changes.
She almost dumped him this spring when he was cheating on her. I wish she had, she'd be better off without him in many respects.

But I also respect that it is her life to live so I try to stay out of it.

[Wayne Smith]

Unfortunately both bipolar and alcoholism are genetic in origin. This means neither will change, they are with you all your life, you can't walk away from them. Same as my ADHD. Denial of this results in chaos in all around and that will not change until they accept the underlying cause and treat it correctly. For the bipolar that means taking the medication that works and for the alcoholic that means living without alcohol. It is that simple in principle and very difficult in practice. None the less, the refusal to accept responsibility and act accordingly means that chaos results. Those who care need to realize that the chaos will not go away until the person does accept responsibility - and act accordingly to protect themselves and others dependent on them.

Yes, I am a licensed Clinical Psychologist and have been dealing with these issues for almost 40 years.

[WRideout]

I agree with the other Wayne. In my experience as a Crisis Specialist, people with bipolar hit a stage when they feel as if they can do anything and be anything; that every decision they have made is correct. This will cause them to seek out that feeling by doing risky things like not taking their medication. It is almost like a street drug.

Wayne

[Wayne Smith]

Bipolar mania is exactly that, and in it's extreme is psychotic. That is, they lose touch with reality and have no concept of right and wrong, of good and bad, and only do what they think is good for them at the time. They have no moral boundaries, and this is an internal issue that they cannot handle or change without medication.