Need some guidance.

[cwlongshot]

You made a big step. Discovering and admitting and then talking is the progression. No one knows how anyone will handle things you have seen and done. Coping and rationalizing and categorizing these things will help you. But the biggest help will be god and the strength and power of your faith.

Just a simple little phrase for you the remember.

KNOW GO, KNOW LOVE. NO GOD, NO LOVE.

You don’t need to hear these words, you need to believe these words. Understand what death is. BELIEVE in the awesome power and love that is god. Death is a door way. It’s a new chapter but with out faith it’s the blinding unknown. That unknown can be powerful it can be over welling.

Absolutely turn to god. Find a man of the cloth you like. Visit Churches listen to the spoken words. Then choose a place and ask for help.

Fear is real. Fear is a killer. But know and believe in gods word and you will learn the power the love and that nothing, nothing at all can hurt you.

May god bless

CW

[Hogtamer]

Psalm 46: " God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth be moved and the mountains carried into the midst of the sea; Though it's waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling."

[Wayne Smith]

For those who are praying. He was given 10 day leave and is planning to go camping. I told him to take his Bible and ask God to open it for him. It is quite likely he will be out of touch for a while. Keep up your prayers.

[Rcmaveric]

I leave 11th of November after work for a camping trip till the 22nd.

I was just sleeping all day today. My wife and I are going to church tomorrow. Then to the gym afterwards.



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[Blackwater]

Knowing and accepting what the problem is is over half the battle. What you're experiencing is the results of overexceeding your body's limits. This can affect your literal nerves (not "nerve" in the sense of bravery or courage). Battle leaves scars, and they're not all exterior physical ones. Our nervous system has limits just like the rest of our bodies do, and you've gone beyond the edge of those limits. But you've survived, and in that, you may well be very lucky.

A 2nd thing that may be operating here, is a skewed concept of who and what God really is, and what He does for us. Many like to think of God as a "Big Sugardaddy in the Sky," but that's not at all what He's about. He does not sit there and take orders from us like a waiter in a restaurant. He created this world as a testing and proving ground, so He'll be able to separate those worthy of Heaven, from those who are unworthy. If he let one person into Heaven who wasn't worthy, Heaven wouldn't be Heaven any more. It would be polluted, and since Heaven is perfect, that simply can't happen. So God ALLOWS (not "causes") things to befall us that we don't like, and that sometimes hurt us in various ways. But they're all due to the CHOICES we make. He lets us have our heads, and make our own decisions for our own reasons in our own time. But He doesn't protect us (always) from the consequences of our decisions. It's how we learn. As the old saying goes, "Good judgment is learned through experiencing the results of bad judgment." God wants us to know Him, and to learn about Him, but many just accept the sing-songy nursery rhyme "usual story" that gets told and retold because it makes us feel good somehow.

Walking with God means having a very real relationship with Him - thinking about Him as a matter of course all through the day, and about reading the Bible and studying it, and reading good theology. A lot of preachers, etc. like to keep things simple, but if you want or need to understand Him in any depth, you have to plunge more deeply into the Bible and thrology than many have the time and/or will to go. But it's worth it if you do.

In short, you're experiencing PTSD, and don't EVER be ashamed of that! Not one bit EVER! It's not your fault. It's literally a physical overextension of your body's mechanisms, both emotional and physical. I'd advise seeing a GOOD medical counselor, if you can find one. If not, and there's a chance of that, try to seek out a priest or preacher with training in this area, and just pour your heart out to him. He will also be able to deal with the theological aspects of your problems.

Whatever you do, do NOT blame yourself, or feel inadequate in any way, whatsoever. You're just human, and you've overburdened your body, ming and spirit. But you will heal if you give it some time. It's been said that time is our greatest healer. I think our greatest healer is Christ, but time surely helps, and even He chooses to use it many times.

God be with you, and support you, and heal you, my friend. And thanks for being there when I couldn't be. You're a genuine hero, sir! And that is NOT just blowin' smoke! God bless you.

[Rcmaveric]

Each of you gives golden nuggets of advice and hope. I surely appreciate and sincerely thank each and everyone of you.

I am no hero, you guys are. It's just a job and work doesn't make us a hero. Its acts of kindness and love that make us heroes. You all are who guys like me really want to be like.

I am doing good now. The meds have calmed down and relaxed my brain. The past few weeks now feel like a dream that's hard to really remember. I have a Psychiatrist I am talking to. Doc at work didn't have very good things to say about our mental health clinic, but she said she was there for me if I ever need to talk. She had me fill out this questionnaire and her jaw dropped. She chided me for not going to her first and sooner. I told her I was kind of afraid of talking to work. Chaps helped a lot. Wife picked out a church for us to go tomorrow. We will see if the Priest offer counseling.

Confessing my sins to God and asking for forgiveness has really lifted a heavy burden off me. Now to walk without reindulging in sin. I think it all started when I realized I wasn't bullet proof and death could happen at any moment. Then thinking about the life I was living I realized I didn't have Salvation. Salvation and God's plan how I dealt with stress and life. I lost my stress reliever and then I over loaded. I have super high stress job and a super high stress home life. I don't think life is supposed to be this stressful as modern life makes it.

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[cwlongshot]

Know, REALLY KNOW AND BELIEVE. YOU ARE NOT ALLONE!

Many many many of us have been to a similar place. God will never give us something we cannot contour thru him. The road may not be easy it may seem your alone no one understands or agrees or could possibly understand. Know that god was there with you every second. Others have seen the same. Some others too have seen worse.

Glad your doing better. God works thru all of us here he will work thru every one you speak with. If you look you will see and believe this too.

May god bless,

CW

[Wayne Smith]

Let me redefine your understanding of sin.

The most complete definition of sin in the Bible is "For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God" - meditate on that a bit. Fallen short of the Glory of God - My very best falls desperately short of the Glory of God! My very righteousness - my doing the right thing - is described in the Old Testament as 'filthy rags'. In short it is impossible for me to 'not sin' as you stated. It is for me to understand my 'helpless estate' and be eternally thankful and grateful that God saved me from it. My salvation is all of God, I just joyfully agreed with what He has already done.

I John 1:8-9 says "If you say you have no sin the truth is not in you. If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." We recognize our sinfulness, confess, and God not only forgives us, he cleanses us from that sin!

The more I try to not sin the greater a failure I am and the worse I feel. I am trying to do the impossible. Giving up and accepting God's grace is the more appropriate process.

[GhostHawk]

Even those of us that you look up to know in our hearts that we are sinners. Every day we slip, stumble, fail and fall. And every morning when we wake we thank the Lord for a chance to try to do better.

Only the Lords sacrifice, the son of GOD, he who was without sin. Who gave himself up to torture, and shame and death so that he could save all of us by his grace. Only that makes us worthy to share heaven with God the Almighty, his son our Lord Jesus the Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

We all sin, we are born in sin. We are covered in it. But his grace and blood can wash those sins away.

So leave your sin's at the cross, pick up his yoke for it is light. Leave your burdens there at his feet. Let him deal with them.

Take the time to wrap your head around all of this. You will be the better for it. Your wife and family will thank you for it.

Open your heart to the Lord, he knows you better than you know yourself. And he will give you what you need. Not always what you want or what you ask for. But what you need. He and his love are balm for the soul. And I think you need that most of all.

God LOVES you. Truly. Believe.

[yeahbub]

Rcmaveric, you are being awakened and called out to. You have a leg up on this issue because you're willing to face it and take it on, rather than so many who respond by looking for increasingly powerful distractions to keep from having to think about it. It seems you're paying attention and taking your insights seriously. There are no coincidences, just occurrences in which God prefers to remain anonymous. It is not without reason or purpose that you have survived thus far and have arrived at your current realizations. God wills that all men should be saved, but this also pre-supposes each person's willingness to learn and cooperate with the process as you note in your first post. It's good you're talking to your chaplain. You mentioned that you are nominally Catholic, but have not received the sacrament of Baptism or probably any others? If not, you have gone for years without their benefit and are mostly unaware of the loss. If I may offer a suggestion, look into attending RCIA on base or at your local parish. You were right, you DO have an immortal soul, awake and alive, the disposition of which is yours to see to, though I get the impression that, like many of us, you have had little guidance. Yes, your past (and everyone else's) has deficits, but if you seek reconciliation, there can be forgiveness and amends made. No offense is greater than God's mercy, which is infinite for those who seek it, ask for it and abide in it. As you note, past lessons learned are invaluable in guiding and shaping today's attitudes and behavior. As for making amends, the first order of business is, as much as you are capable today, to cease to offend. Striving to be aware and know how is a life-long endeavor and you'll improve. God said, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice." Pray, silently or out loud - it doesn't matter where or when, God knows your heart. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you as He would have you know Him. If you have little faith, ask for more. Faithless is hopeless, which leads to despair. Reaching out for help makes slipping back into it less and less likely. Many are praying and pulling for you. If you wish, PM me for more info and discussion. I'll be glad to talk to you.

As for the prescribed meds, only you can decide. I decided not to go that route. I was only just then learning to be in touch with what I was feeling and thinking and the nature of what I had gone through. I needed to be clear-headed and aware. I had seen others who were fogged out on psych meds and they seemed less able to deal with their issues and I didn't want to go there. I was oppressed enough and sick and tired of my situation and wanted answers and solutions, not what looked like more of it. I went the 12-step route which led to learning a far better way to live, which continues today. It works if you work it. Bring the body, the mind will follow.

[WRideout]

RCMaverick, I am also a veteran, and have put in my twenty years, albeit most of that in the reserve component. In my experience, military people have a rather unique set of circumstances. For those who have been in combat, holding back one's feelings is a requirement for survival. For everyone else, it is an acquired skill based on realistically imagining horrific events. It sounds like perhaps you have, in your near death experience, had feelings that are very difficult to deal with. Unfortunately, the only way to get rid of troublesome feelings is to feel them. Talking about it out loud helps to take the power out of those feelings. I have myself struggled with depression, but the good news is that it does not have to last forever. You and your wife will be in my prayers. God will see you through this.

Wayne

[Rcmaveric]

I got baptized today.

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[Der Gebirgsjager]

Congratulations, Rcmaveric, and welcome to the Family of God!! You can only continue to grow now, and find some peace in your life. God will always be there for you to share your needs and thoughts with. He listens, believe me...

[GhostHawk]

AWESOME!

Great first step. Stick with it brother.

[super6]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFGs...XDbs7T5m-ohCIF

[txbirdman]

Great news! That’s the first act of obedience after putting your faith in Jesus. This is the beginning of your journey of faith in which Jesus is Lord of your life. But you don’t have to live this out on your own. The Holy Spirit is now in direct contact with your spirit and will enable and assist you in living according to the Father’s will. The Spirit will also assist in your understanding of God’s Holy Scriptures. Praise God for his saving grace through Jesus and sustaining and revealing power through the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:30

[Wayne Smith]

Let me warn you of a mistake many American Christians make - and it's related to the 23rd Psalm. In part it says 'yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (that deep, dark, terrifying valley) I shall fear no evil, for Thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me...'.

Americans don't want to walk through the valley, we want to drive by in our air conditioned SUV's and point it out. By avoiding this experience they miss the comfort that God offers and wonder why their relationship with Him is hindered. God will never lead you where his grace will not cover you and protect you.

Your life is no longer about you, its all about God. Your marriage is not about you - either of you, it's about God. Your parenting is not about you or the kids, it's about God. Your work is no longer about you but about God. The better you keep this perspective the better your human relationships will be.

[popper]

#1 nobody gets out of here alive. (there is a caviot of the Second coming)
#2 99% are going to hurt when dying.
#3 a lot of life is pain, hurting and suffering. This age in the US we are not accustomed to it (aka, we got it pretty easy). 50 yr old ex Marine (Desert Storm 1) neighbor just passed, 4 yr battle with very painful colon cancer.
#4 meds can take away some of the anxiety for a while but are definitely NOT a permanent solution. Nothing wrong with taking them as needed.
#5 Thanks Lord for another Christian Warrior.

Thank you for your service - and it is just starting now. You are forgiven!

[Blackwater]

Congratulations, RCM, and kudos to you for your handling of all this. Confronting our essential humanity is NOT a pleasant task. After all, we're weak, easily influenced and led, and we have appetites that lead us astray sometimes, too. And also, one little tidbit of advice: Do NOT expect to become an angel and removed from all temptation just because you got baptized! The difference is that now, you have Christ to walk alongside you as you tread your way through your life. And Christ never promised us an easy time. On the contrary, he told us that as Christians, we'd sometimes be mocked and cursed and even killed for our faith. Here in the USA, we aren't very likely to be killed for our faith, but there are many, perhaps now more than ever, who constantly throw a barage of disparagements, insults and curses at us. So be it. We don't deserve it as well as we have it here in the USA, and it's made an awful lot of people become drunk with our ease and excesses. Some think that "lifing a great life" means taking all we can, when the happiest and most satisfied life really happens when we GIVE rather than take. It is a great privilege for us to give to others who have less than we do. And it keeps our perspective, too. When we help a person who can't walk, it makes us appreciate the gift of our own ability to walk. It's not a guarantee.

We all are given SO many gifts in this life, that we easily become inurred, and come to EXPECT that things always rock along like we want them to. It's really only when we're striving that we learn and appreciate what we have. God go with you, my friend. You're a good man in a bad situation, but together, you and the Lord can find the way out, even if it takes a while to get there. You have my great respect, and that's not something I give away very often or very freely!

[Rcmaveric]

You guys are amazingly supportive and full of positive advice. Thank you for allowing me to lean on you for a bit. For the most part I am doing much better.

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