USGI sea stories

[wch]

Had a friend who spent the first 6 years of his Navy career at a base in Tennessee, finally got sea duty at Norfolk. He went into town on a Saturday night walked into a bar and ordered a beer.
My buddy had a "baby" face (he was 24 by then) so the bartender checked his ID card and reluctantly gave him his beer.
Buzz said the bar had a "big fish" mounted above the booze and he asked the bartender what kind of fish that was- the bartender snatched his beef off the bar and said "Any sailor who'd been in the Navy for 6 years would know what a hammerhead shark was!"
Buzz was immediately "86'd"!

[samari46]

Some genius in our engineroom decided to go shark fishing when we were moored at gitmo. they would have picket boats running around the ship and every once in awhile they'd toss a grenade in the water to see if any divers were trying to sabotage the ship. About a 100' of nylon rope,10' of chain and the biggest fish hook you ever saw. Go see the cooks and got a old roast beef they were gonna trash. They off to sick bay and donate blood for the cause. Assemble all that junk,inject the blood in the meat. and darned if we didn't get a 10' footer. OK now we got it what are we gonna do with it. Some officer comes by and said bring it by the officers mess and we'll have it for dinner. So we did. Rotten meat with just about all blood types injected in it. Course we didn't tell him that. Bunch of 18-20 somethings with nothing better to do. Frank

[Winger Ed.]

[QUOTE=samari46;483612 Bunch of 18-20 somethings with nothing better to do. Frank[/QUOTE]


Way cool!
I went to PR 'C' School at NAS Lakehurst in '77 with a 1st Class PO that told that story from Gitmo.
He was part of the SAR crew there for awhile.
He'd confirm it was boring- the front gate was locked, and there wasn't a back gate.

The kid fished all the time, and it was a pain get his parents to send him fishing gear.
Something big kept breaking his gear. So, he got the machinist Metal Smith guys to make the hook for him and went after it.
His line was a roll of Type 3 parachute cord--- 550 pound test.

[samari46]

Yeah, was fun while it lasted. Cook had no problem with the meat. Doc had a problem with giving blood and go fishing. usually we went to Gitmo for our operational readiness inspections prior to our deployments. Was doing my watch on the lube oil pumps for the main engines and reduction gears. And heard the whine pickup on everything in the engine room. Then the deck plates started rattling away. Found out we were doing an emergency full power run. 32.5 knots. Not bad for a 20 something year old carrier. Frank

[Winger Ed.]

I briefly worked with a Black Shoe sailor that had gotten hurt on leave. He couldn't go back to sea,
so they attached him to the closest USN command to finish his enlistment the last several weeks before he got out.

He was on a amphibious assault ship as a Signalman and never went down into the bowels of the ship--
except once, in the first few days he was aboard.

He was exploring, and went well down below the water line, and saw the 'Hull Technicians'.
They were working on the sewage system, and had pipes taken loose & apart.
He said, "They were just having a good ole' time down there throwing chunks of **** at each other".

He snuck out before they saw him, and never returned.

[3006guns]

My old mentor and friend (a Russian of the pre-Communist era)was a U.S. artillery officer in Italy during WWII. He told a couple of interesting tales.......

German pillbox surrounded by G.I.s. Commanding officer sends for my friend and orders him to shout at the Germans to surrender, or the grenades come in. The German gun crew filed out, hands on their heads, single file with a snooty Wehrmacht officer being last. As they passed, my friend spotted a nice leather holster on the officer's belt, so he unsheathed his bayonet and sliced the belt, taking the gun. He said his fondest memory of the war was that Kraut walking off in the distance with his hands on his head and knees getting wider and wider to keep his pants from falling down.......

He still had the gun and holster when he told me the story. It was a rather nice Walther, a PP I believe, in .22 long rifle caliber. No Nazi markings that I could see, so it must have been a private purchase.

Another, not so nice story, was when he ordered his guns to level an Italian farm house being used as a German artillery spotting post.......knowing full well the entire Italian family were captives inside. "I hated it" he said, "but those damn German guns were killing my boys....."

[firefly1957]

My friends father was not in the military he Graduated GMI Flint Michigan just before we went into war II if I am not mistaken upon graduation he was sent to Bombay India as Manager of the GMC heavy duty Truck plant . He told us many tales of being there but the most interesting one was how the British fought off the big Mitsubishi bombers long before they could bomb the city. He had a penthouse on the top of a building to live in the first time the air raid sirens went off he went to take cover however his house keepers said there was no need stay and watch he used a telescope to scan the horizon until he saw aircraft shortly after the British fighters would engage the big bombers and drop all but one of them . The last bomber was strafed over and over until it tumbled from the sky like a cat playing with a mouse . Finding some pilots in a bar he asked them about the reason and was told they knew the spots to approach the bombers that were safe for them and shot them down and the last plane was a contest between them . The pilots would shoot a bit off the end of each wing until the plane could no longer fly and tumbled to the ground the last pilot to shoot was supposed to buy the beer when they were down.
Pilots never had to buy beer people were so pleased with the defense they were getting everyone bought them beer.

He also told of the freighter that exploded in harbor because a raw cotton cargo got wet with sea water and ignited Years later I read of it in a book giving more details on what went wrong that day .

[Winger Ed.]

Went to school and Boot Camp with a guy whose Dad had been a Marine MP on Okinawa.
After the island was secured, he was in one of the units left behind for the occupation.

For MPs, business was sort of slow,
but when he had the night shift on their rotation for a week or two, there was no sleeping during the day.

Their barracks was framed with boards, and sheet metal slapped on it.
Just about the time you'd dose off,,,,,,, somebody would start shooting a .45 or M-1 Carbine chasing rats around in the rafters.

[Der Gebirgsjager]

The place must have been pretty leaky when it rained......

[Winger Ed.]

The place must have been pretty leaky when it rained......

Some people freak out seeing rats, snakes, spiders, etc.

I'd be more concerned about where those bullets came down, but what are ya gonna do? Call the MPs....

The Sea Bee guys probably got pretty fast at patching roof holes.

[LUBEDUDE]

These stories are great. I sure wish this forum had a like/thanks button.




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[Winger Ed.]

A few months before I went overseas, a classmate from PR 'A' School came aboard.

He was from New York, and had some serious misgivings about being stationed in Texas.

He told of his Dad going through Texas on a troop train during WWII when he was in the Army.
His Dad told him,
"Son, you might should try to get out of those orders.
Every single pickup truck I saw down there had at least one rifle in the back window".

[Winger Ed.]

A story I'd heard from my childhood friend that went into and retired from the Air Force---
this was years ago, when he still talked to me:

It is part of Air Force lore from the 70's.

It was about a guy stationed up in Alaska. He had the night shift on the Flight Line and the prestigious job
of driving the 'suck truck' that emptied out the bathroom tanks on the various planes that stopped through to refuel
between California and Japan.

He was out doing his job when a AF pilot from the plane he was draining, came over and watched.
After a bit he commented about his bad attitude, and said he was going to talk to his CO and recommend some
sort of punishment to straighten him out and correct his attitude.

He told the young pilot, "Sir. We are above the Artic Circle. It's cold. It's 3 AM. Its January.
I'm here on a Flight Line, sucking **** out of an airplane. What sort of punishment did you have in mind"?

[Winger Ed.]

Our Fleet Corpsman was in the shop one day and just about couldn't get through telling a story from laughing so hard.

One of the Grunts had come in with trench foot.
He fixed him up with a box of soap tablets about the size of 3 nickels stacked together, and explained how to use them

'The instructions are also on the box. Use 6 tablets at a time with a gallon and a half of water. Do it twice a day'

Then gave him a big plastic tub, sent him on his way, and told him to come back in 3-4 days.

Three days later, the kid is back, and has little or no change.

Doc asked him if he was doing the treatments.

The Grunt told him,
"Yeah. Swallowing those pills is no big deal. But I can't sit and drink 1 1/2 gallons of water twice a day".

[samari46]

Had what we called a contaminated tank under the bilges in the engine room. Oil,coffee grounds and other unmentionable liquids in it. First you pumped it over board, undo the bolts, take the cover off and climb down. To say the smell was unbearable would be a joke. Shovel out the solids, flush with a fire hose,pump it out again and wipe it down with rags. To say we stunk to high heaven was an understatement. Our chief hated everyone except himself, so if you ticked him off you'd bet your last dollar your turn would be next. In 3 years we only had one re enlistment. And each time the ships recruiter asked why they weren't re enlisting Chief Dennison. M division officer called him down to the division office and read him the riot act. Told him you're the reason no one's re enlisting. So cut the guys some slack or find another ship. Frank

[Winger Ed.]

Thinking of our old Fleet Corpsman reminded me of when I was in jets for a couple years,
and worked in the IMA Paraloft at a composite base with USMC and USN issue fighters.

Among our duties was the scheduled testing of the pilot's Oxygen regulators.
We had to lubricate a little part in them with a non-petroleum based oil.

If you use regular oil around or on stuff that comes in contact liquid or high pressure Oxygen-
it's easy to set your self up for something in between 'bursting into flames', and 'a explosion'.

Anyway:
One day we ran out. The Chief I worked for sent me to Sick Bay to get another can of oil.
I thought that was odd,,,, but I went over there anyway.

We've all heard about Castor oil-
but like the $50 Army Jeep that was always advertised in old Field & Stream classified ads:
I'd never actually seen any.

It's still around. I guess the Navy gives it to problem children--
They handed me a shiny, new, pint can, with a Federal Stock Number & label that read:

"Oil, Caster
Adult dose 2 tablespoons"

[Winger Ed.]

The threads about garlic & gas reminded me:

At Quantico, a junior trooper that worked for me was married and his wife worked at a big office in Wash. DC.
If there wasn't much going on, he could take a slightly extended Lunch Hour and go up there and have Lunch with her.

One such day, he came back and was 'down in the dumps' the rest of the day.
I suspected the worst from his Lunch visit and finally asked him what was wrong.

He told me:
"Working here,,,,, I'm turning into a pig--- just like you".

He went on-
"At my wife's office, as I was going up in the elevator, and I ripped off a big giant fart.
I looked over at the cutest lady in the elevator, and asked her, 'Don't you think you should excuse yourself'?"

"Everyone else looked at her, and she was so mortified, I thought she was going drop dead right there".

[oneofsix]

The threads about garlic & gas reminded me:

At Quantico, a junior trooper that worked for me was married and his wife worked at a big office in Wash. DC.
If there wasn't much going on, he could take a slightly extended Lunch Hour and go up there and have Lunch with her.

One such day, he came back and was 'down in the dumps' the rest of the day.
I suspected the worst from his Lunch visit and finally asked him what was wrong.

He told me:
"Working here,,,,, I'm turning into a pig--- just like you".

He went on-
"At my wife's office, as I was going up in the elevator, and I ripped off a big giant fart.
I looked over at the cutest lady in the elevator, and asked her, 'Don't you think you should excuse yourself'?"

Everyone else looked at her, and she was so mortified, I thought she was going drop dead right there.

I laughed way too hard at this, guess I'm still just a child at heart.

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[FLINTNFIRE]

that there is funny

[popper]

start shooting a .45 or M-1 Carbine chasing rats around in the rafters
Had a SS teacher who got wharf duty MP after pacific ended. Best use of the 45 was shooting rats the size of yotes.