I don't even know where to start. Been almost two years now and I have accomplished all of I said I was going to do. Funny thing life on this cursed rock, and I should have taken Isiah to heart about warning that even the wife can and will betray you. Colorado is gone into a cesspool and no going back. Life here is good, but lonely with no family or friends. My child and I are treated like we have leprosy and are only spoken to when someone needs something. Nothing new for me, but painful to see my child treated with disregard. We both had birthdays, mine on Easter Sunday and 55 now, but I am still astonished that what I knew was blatantly revealed so brazenly.. Noone cares. This is NOT a pity writing because life is hard anyway. I am a fighter and a warrior so I have no regard for those that use me. It's just hard to explain to a young child why she got only 2 cards and daddy got only 3. Why only a couple people call more out of formality than sincerity. My child is highly intelligent, called twice exceptional Adhd, just like her dad. She is a child, but asks questions like, why don't people like her and only one child came to her birthday and noone but her sister (my child) and her niece (my granddaughter) called or sent a gift. I can't answer her and for her, a child with a heart for the Lord, questions why the world is so cold an mean, why God allows what goes on with death and violence... Well I at times have no good answer. Just that the world is in sin and of sin and it was caused by the fall. Easter Sunday was my birthday, I said it again for a reason, and the church had done something that is can't forget, the one we attend. The wife is distant again and it seems more like I am existing to support her only. So my child and I goto church, I stand by the door as she goes in, I assume to see the few church friends she knows, and after church she asked me a question. "daddy, why did you stand by the door and not sit with me?" I said that I thought she was with her little friends, but she corrected me. "no, I sat by myself and waited for you, noone wanted to sit by me".
Prayers please. My faith doesn't falter, but I am very concerned that my child will walk off the path. My honor and integrity control my walk and therefore I am secure, but I am distressed to see her struggle and become adversaries with me because her mother enables and counters me in front of her all the time. I do shift work and at times I wish I was an electrician again. But God has other plans and who am I to question the Lord Jesus Christ and what his will is.
|
   
   
|
|
Reply With Quote
