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Thread: Home Health vs Nursing home take 2

  1. #1
    Boolit Master Handloader109's Avatar
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    Home Health vs Nursing home take 2

    I decided to post new thread as there is more to what has ultimately happened with my mother in past month and maybe this will help some of you if you are in a similar situation.
    here is original post fwiw.
    http://castboolits.gunloads.com/show...ssisted-living

    After last period in hospital, she went home, little improvement. Stayed home with sitters 24x7 for 6 days.
    Breathing worse, no pneumonia, but ultimately went back into hospital. The better one in the area.
    After about 5 days of them working on figuring out her issue, it became apparent that she needed surgery to fix a hiatal hernia and actually move part of colon down.
    She spent a couple of days refusing to have it done while not being able to eat much at all without issue. And they were pushing on her heart and causing issues there also.

    She finally gave in and surgery went fine along with her initial recovery.

    Now ALL the doctors want her to go to a rehab to work to recover. She has refused and even with our cajoling, continued to refuse. She is of SOUND mind. She CAN refuse this and did.

    So back home.

    The BIG elephant in the room is her refusal and inability (not sure which is the root) to try to help move herself. Seems this is a common thing amongst geriatrics that have had major problems.
    As a result, bed sores. Single sitter cannot physically stand her or move her easily to change her on a 2-3 hour basis.

    So the state home health is trying to step in and make her go to rehab. Which they CAN do if they want to deem us abusing her.
    So we will get her moved once more. Really against her will, but no real choice. It is either go where you want to go, or let the state agency send you where they want to.

    And potentially with the last we lose all control and visitation.
    Loose loose.

    So even with insurance to let you stay at home, if you are really infirm, you will probably go to center.

  2. #2
    Boolit Master


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    I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation. My family was lucky with Mom and Dad. They were able to stay in their house until the end. 24/7 care, but we found some really good people who took very good care of them. I don't really know what the situation is in your state, but it seems that there should be someone to look out for the interests of your mother in this case. Not sure what the title of that person, but basically an attorney to ensure that anything done is in the best interest of the person and with due process. With children, it is called an attorney ad litem. Again, unsure of what the entire situation is, as far as finances and such. If you have friends familiar with the legal community, you might contact them. Ask around at the courthouse or anywhere else you might think of to get information. I hope you and you mother are successful with the outcome of this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    One of my father's favorite statements: "If I say a chicken dips snuff, look under his wing for the snuffbox" How I was raised, who I am.

  3. #3
    Boolit Grand Master popper's Avatar
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    And potentially with the last we lose all control and visitation. This is a big problem, you need to have her financial stuff organized too, else the state will take that too.
    Whatever!

  4. #4
    Boolit Master
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    My wife and I are in a similar situation with her parents. Unfortunately there are no good answers I am aware of. 6 years ago after my father in law had a stroke he REFUSED any discussion of assisted living/long term care. An attorney friend of mine told me "unfortunately you now get to start making the best of the bad decisions you have to make" Death mercifully took my father in law a few months ago. Hopefully my mother in law can regain enough of her health to have some happiness in her remaining time.

  5. #5
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    Agree. An attorney who deals with elder asset protection is critical.
    I cannot vouch for this, but we investigated assisted living in nice facility.
    Crazy expensive. Told to find specialized attorney. As they understood it, liquidate home and you have to spend down the money. Rent home out, and keep it and use the rent money to offset care. Right now in home care for a few hours a week is working.

  6. #6
    Boolit Bub
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    I've been down a similar path with my wife. You might try to talk with a local HOSPIC ( the for profit units seem to give better service ). Even though your mom isn't terminal they can still help, or at least tell you of local services. HOSPIC does take of the whole family not just the patient, they also look after you and your family too. Hope this helps lost...

  7. #7
    Boolit Grand Master

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    Thats a tough position to be in. My MIL passed away recently at 92. She always told us that She didn't want to be a burden to anyone and to put Her into assisted living if necessary. It never was. My Mom, on the other hand has the potential to be difficult if that ever comes up. Not looking forward to it. Good Luck to you.

  8. #8
    Boolit Master
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    There is a mattress that uses air pressure to rock the person slightly that prevents bed sores. It has a computerized pump that inflates different coils and prevents bed sores. It can be rented from any large health care equipment location. I had one for my mom and they really work. Thee is a lot of equipment that will allow one person to care for her and allow her to stay at home. If she really is opposed to a rehab facility it will probably hasten her death.
    jim

  9. #9
    Boolit Master Handloader109's Avatar
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    Well, I had a pretty good heart to heart yesterday with her. Pretty much told her rehab and get better or state would soon take you away anyhow and you lose control totally. She understands. So we'll find her rehab facility. Three pretty good ones close. Now whether she will work to get back home in better shape will be issue.

    Oh, and I was the person in charge of an aunt about 15 years ago. She had no money, but a home. We sold off everything, she went into nursing home and spent down to $2000 for her care. About $40k over a year and she lived a couple of more after that. That was all she could have with Medicaid paying for everything.

    Mom has decent insurance for extended living. Will cover about 80 to 90% of care if long term. Rehab should be Medicare and health insurance.

    You guys that are approaching this with family member be careful. If single parent or extended family member, it is 5 or 7 years [I can't remember which] prior to medicaid picking up nursing home that any major assets are looked at. Don't move into family member's name any assets within that time frame. You can get into serious problems. And they do look.

    Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

  10. #10
    Boolit Master Handloader109's Avatar
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    I'll look at that Jim, but we are past having her stay at home right now.

    Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

  11. #11
    Boolit Master
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    Good luck I will say some prayers for you, I have been thru what you are going thru.
    jim

  12. #12
    Boolit Master Handloader109's Avatar
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    And so the story ends where we all end.

    She passed away just before midnight last night on Her and her God's terms.
    In Her Home, peacefully.
    Thank you all for your prayers

    Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

  13. #13
    Boolit Master
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    May God hold her in His kingdom and may she be at peace.
    jim

  14. #14
    Boolit Grand Master
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    She was lucky to have a caring family, details & pitfalls aside. Sorry for the loss to your family. Going through much the same with my MIL right now. MIL is out of town, my wife is spending most of the week up there, splitting the care duties with her sister. At least she is living in a good place that specializes in this stuff. FeeBee Berks (no doubt, I've misspelled that) near Reading, Pa.

  15. #15
    Boolit Master
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    So sorry to hear. My condolences to you and your family.

  16. #16
    Boolit Master

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    So sorry to hear. My condolences to you and your family.

    I went through all this. Mom died Sept 8th, her 100th would have been Oct 3rd.

    My condolences, again

  17. #17
    Boolit Grand Master

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    Both my parents passed at home, in their own bed, with us holding their hands, as did their parents. I considered it a privilege to share with them. It was the final chapter to a lifetime of caring. Soon it will be mine and Grammy's turn, and it will be the same. What a peaceful feeling.
    All of us pray for you and yours. Soon the good memories will push aside the grief and bring back your smile.
    Information not shared. is wasted.

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