That "pull" for me is the fear I was referencing in my original post. Maybe its just me, but I think I would be more unscrupulous in my daily life if I could guarantee getting away scot free. Fear keeps me in line. From a religious perspective, the fear of an afterlife keeps me worried about believing enough to get into whatever club you subscribe to. And I hate to come across as against religion, I was raised non-denominational christian and am glad for it as the morals impressed on me have served me well in life. But that comes back to the crux of my doubts, I value religion because it has been useful to me, not because I believe or have faith. I most identify with Thomas, I am fairly open minded, but ****** give me proof.