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Thread: Girlfriend ignored my advice.

  1. #1
    Boolit Master





    Idaho45guy's Avatar
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    Girlfriend ignored my advice.

    Known this woman for about 3 years. Started dating about a month ago and found her to be an incredibly laid back, low maintenance, funny, conservative, beautiful woman. Couldn't ask for a better woman.

    Until today.

    She has a 2016 Nissan SUV that still has the original tires. What's left of them. Of course she didn't rotate them, so one pair is bald while the other pair are to the wear bars. She had it in for service a month ago and they told her they shouldn't let her drive it like that and warned her to replace them ASAP or else she would get a ticket or in a wreck.

    So she mentioned to me about her tires a week ago and that she was going to go to a local chain store for new ones. I told her not to. Said she could order a set online for nearly half what the local tire thieves would charge and get just as good of a tire. I even went online and found her a set of good tires for $300, and sent her the link. Told her to order them and have them sent to her house and I would take them and her car and have them mounted.

    Today, she calls me from the local tire thief store and said she is having tires put on and wants to meet for lunch.

    I asked her what tires they are putting on and how much. Nokian something or other and it's $710. What?!

    I look up the tire and it gets awful reviews for winter performance. She lives in North Idaho...

    I look up some other tires this chain carries and convince her to have them install a different type that is rated much higher for winter driving.

    She calls me back and said they had to order the ones I recommended so it will take a week for them to come in.

    Had she just taken my advice in the first place, she would have gotten tires for half the price in the same amount of time. But, we've only been dating a short time and it's not my place to tell her what to do. Just disappointed that she chose to ignore my advice and waste money.

    Women.
    "Luck don't live out here. Wolves don't kill the unlucky deer; they kill the weak ones..." Jeremy Renner in Wind River

  2. #2
    Boolit Grand Master
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    Sometimes, they can't understand normal thinking.

  3. #3
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    RogerDat's Avatar
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    Get used to it. At least 1/2 the time in the last 20 some years of marriage I have been ignored, presumed wrong, or my favorite "ok but it wouldn't hurt to ask the guy at home depot what kind of..... to use". My answer has become ok but if you are going to ask him what paint, plumbing fixture, or what have you I should use then I get to interview him first to find out if he knows anything. That has sort of slowed that one down. There are some fellows there that know their stuff but a whole lot that I have to explain what I want, and what it is for before they can even point me to approx. the correct aisle. Being of "mature" years does tend to have offered opportunities to learn some stuff, but being as it's a husband saying it confirmation is generally desirable by the fair side of the partnership.

    I'm lucky though, I got her into a legally binding marriage contract. It gives me at least 33% voting rights.
    Scrap.... because all the really pithy and emphatic four letter words were taken and we had to describe this source of casting material somehow so we added an "S" to what non casters and wives call what we collect.

    Kind of hard to claim to love America while one is hating half the Americans that disagree with you. One nation indivisible requires work.

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  4. #4
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    A woman dating a licensed plumber or electrician will trust and do what the minimum wage 17 year old part time employee at Home Depot or Lowes says to do in regards to plumbing or electrical work before asking her boy friend

  5. #5
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    This is just me but a month into a relationship I might make a suggestion on something like tires ,.. but beyond that I can't say I'd much give a darn what she did .

  6. #6
    Boolit Buddy
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    My bet is that she is so used to making decisions on her own, that she is more comfortable "doing her own thing" by herself, than she is taking advice from you. I am sure it was not meant as a "dig" on you, but just that she likely has been an "independent"/ self reliant person for a while & is just used to doing as she thinks is right. Even if she only learns after the fact that there was better way than what she did.
    My experience has been they don't learn...

  7. #7
    Boolit Master
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    I've found it in MY best interest to NEVER give advice unless specifically asked! Then if specifically asked, I always parse it with, "that's what I'd do, but you do what you think is best". This goes for anyone, with a double dose when it comes to my wife!

  8. #8
    Boolit Master

    Hickory's Avatar
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    Advice, is like passing out $20 bills to the blind.
    They don't know what they are getting.
    Political correctness is a national suicide pact.

    I am a sovereign individual, accountable
    only to God and my own conscience.

  9. #9
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    I'd focus on this part,"Known this woman for about 3 years. Started dating about a month ago and found her to be an incredibly laid back, low maintenance, funny, conservative, beautiful woman. Couldn't ask for a better woman."

  10. #10
    Boolit Master
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    This does not happen to me. My wife takes my advice on things that I know well, and I take her advice on things she knows well. But I know what you are talking about and see it all the time.
    There is no difference between communism and socialism, except in the means of achieving the same ultimate end: communism proposes to enslave men by force, socialism—by vote. It is merely the difference between murder and suicide. Ayn Rand

  11. #11
    Boolit Master
    rl69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 725 View Post
    Sometimes, they can't understand normal thinking.
    Lol I see what you did there
    when the dust settles and the smoke clears all that matters is I hear the words " well done my good and faithfully servant "

    <(*)(()><

  12. #12
    Boolit Grand Master

    Wayne Smith's Avatar
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    I think, after 43 years married to the same woman, I have a little credibility. She actually asks my opinion sometimes before she has formed her own!
    Wayne the Shrink

    There is no 'right' that requires me to work for you or you to work for me!

  13. #13
    Boolit Buddy
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    Nokian makes great winter tires though.

  14. #14
    Boolit Master
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    Preview of Future occurrences!

  15. #15
    Boolit Master



    WebMonkey's Avatar
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    at least she won't expect YOU to "make it right" when those bad tires go south on her.

    WebMonkey
    Retired 19D
    Psalm 91:9
    Honda 919

  16. #16
    Boolit Grand Master
    rockrat's Avatar
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    ^^^^Wanna bet on that?????!!!

  17. #17
    Boolit Master
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    So...... You have been dating her for a month. You aren't in charge of her money or decisions.
    Doug
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  18. #18
    Boolit Master pmer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dk17hmr View Post
    So...... You have been dating her for a month. You aren't in charge of her money or decisions.
    Yep, it's not the end of the world that she got a set of tires on her own. If she's a keeper don't make this into something bigger than it needs to be.
    Oh great, another thread that makes me spend money.

  19. #19
    Boolit Master



    MUSTANG's Avatar
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    Women will ALLWAYS taketh advice of an EXPERT over a boyfriend or husband. Of course an EXPERT is always someone who lives 50 Miles or more from where I live.
    Mustang

    "In the beginning... the patriot is a scarce man, and brave and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." - Mark Twain.

  20. #20
    Boolit Master Wag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by farmerjim View Post
    This does not happen to me. My wife takes my advice on things that I know well, and I take her advice on things she knows well. But I know what you are talking about and see it all the time.
    This. It's the kind of thing that makes a relationship work.

    In a brand new relationship where trust is still developing, neither of you will do what the other expects, just because. And it's never worth shutting down the relationship. Probably not even worth discussing.

    As always, though, acceptance means taking her as is, regardless. Focus on the good things about her and don't worry about fixing things for her so much.

    --Wag--
    "Great genius will always encounter fierce opposition from mediocre minds." --Albert Einstein.

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