"If I can do anything to help, just call"

[jimlj]

My father in law passed away a week ago today. On Wednesday we had a viewing and funeral. He was a well liked man in the community and I'd guess there were better than 200 people come to the viewing and or funeral. I can't tell you how many times someone said to my wife or me "If there is anything I can do to help, just call" I think most of them would come if called, but I'm fairly sure most don't expect a call.

In similar circumstances I have said the same thing, not really expecting to be asked to do anything, but I would if asked.

My question for you fine folks is, what are things that I (we) can do for others who may be hurting or in need, but are too proud/afraid/stubborn/… to ask?

[rl69]

The bible say weep with those are weeping. Sometimes the best thing we can do is sit and listen.

[Der Gebirgsjager]

If the lady dies the surviving husband will often appreciate a visit by someone who brings dinner. A knock on the door, "Hi, just thought I'd bring this by."

[DocSavage]

Being there for them,an ear to listen,a shoulder to cry on and a hug to those who need a hug. I have told many people who have lost loved ones or terribly ill I know if you need help,a meal or just hang out I there for you no question no judgement.

[sawinredneck]

I try to show up once in a while, maybe a week or two later, just stop by and lend an ear. If you notice something out of sorts, they aren’t eating, seeming depressed, whatever, try and find a way to fill in the gaps.
Much like your loss, they don’t know what they need either, and sometimes just hanging out for half an hour is enough.

[jdfoxinc]

Mow the lawn, wash the car, etc.

[country gent]

Listen and be there for them. Most times some one to talk too goes farther than chores done. ANother is to let them know your feelings towards the deceased your Friendship, respect, trust, and such.

[10x]

Offer your time, invite them to your home. The grieving process is different for everyone, even in the same family, and their needs will be different.
Some will want to talk about their loss, some will want to talk about the future. All of their feelings have a valid foundation. It is ok to approve the good, gently guide through confusion, and gently discourage the negative.
And some will want to be left alone

[Preacher Jim]

Even if you been through something similar, never say I know how you are feeling because you aren't inside their mind and you don't know.

[iomskp]

Just be nice

[Bazoo]

When I lost all my possessions in an apartment fire 3 years ago, I asked for help getting back into reloading here on the forum. I was sent a fair amount of things that really got me going. 300.00 worth of gear was a huge help. I was able to get started again with just a few items bought. I lost my job at the same time, as the apartment was over the place of business. It really helped me though emotionally, as It gave me back some sense of normalcy, and something to occupy me. Im just now getting the last of the things I need. Having went through that, I now I hope I can help folks whenever Im able.

[10x]

When I lost all my possessions in an apartment fire 3 years ago, I asked for help getting back into reloading here on the forum. I was sent a fair amount of things that really got me going. 300.00 worth of gear was a huge help. I was able to get started again with just a few items bought. I lost my job at the same time, as the apartment was over the place of business. It really helped me though emotionally, as It gave me back some sense of normalcy, and something to occupy me. Im just now getting the last of the things I need. Having went through that, I now I hope I can help folks whenever Im able.

There is pleasure in the gift of giving.

[Thin Man]

My wife and I gave the offer of help to the widow of a close friend who was a very active shooter and reloader. The widow called me for help with her husband's firearms and reloading and shooting materials. I cataloged about 166 firearms and started on the other materials. Found the volume to be huge so I called a friend to help this chore. We worked to arrange similar items together, advise her on pricing and find buyers. My friend and I worked an average of 2 days a week (each, together) for 4 months to get all this done. The challenge was that when we opened a box or bag it would contain live ammo and fired brass of mixed calibers, firearm parts and tools, pocket change and whatever else could be put into the container. Lots of work but me handled it and she disposed of the entire volume. A lot went to their children and grandchildren but most was sold. I believe getting rid of that glut of materials helped her get over the loss of her husband of about 45 years of marriage and 4 children. The friend and I took no pay for this work but did buy a few small lots of materials. She offered these materials to us for free and we refused this offer, always paying the going rate for them. My explanation to her was this: Her husband and I were very close friends. I have every belief that if I had passed ahead of him that he would be at my home doing this same chore for my family.

[Hardcast416taylor]

I seemed to be the mourner that promised to help if called upon. I recieved some calls for help, often just stopping by to see if help was needed. Then my son passed on. The viewing was packed with mourners also promising aid if needed. It has been over 8 years and nary a single person has showed. I did call several men to help with a job at our house that needed another pair of hands. Of the 4 men I called only 1 showed up and he left early, the others seemed shocked I would ask for help and they had prior comitments that day.Robert

[higgins]

If I make that offer, I really mean it. Therefore, if someone makes an offer to me to assist I'll take them at their word and ask them for their help if needed.