A lost child.

[Hogtamer]

Remmy, prayers for Dalton, especially you and your wife. Always remember he is not the enemy, the drugs have captured him. But there is always Hope for deliverance through Jesus our merciful God and Savior. Continue firm in your resolve to do what you know is right.

[slim1836]

It is good that the 2 of you are communicating at the least. Do not give up hope, there is good in all, it just takes time to draw it out. I'm still waiting for that to happen having done all I could.

Prayers going out to you and all those affected.

Slim

[ascast]

I would change all the door locks etc. to prevent unauthorized access. If you go to gun shows, you do not need somebody shopping in your house while your out. No telling what kind of mess you could get pulled into. You need to protect your self first, and do it now.
The rest will sort itself out in time, for better or worse.
best wishes

[Remmy4477]

Keep it in place, he hasn't earned any leniency and he's trying to call the shots.

Yes sir he thinks he is!

[Handloader109]

Don't forget that dates for most shows are easily found on the internet. He can obtain and show when you are not at home. I'll not accuse him if breaking in, but he now seems to have accomplices who would think nothing of it. Don't leave them an easy way in. Keep up the pressure, he might cave if it gets too uncomfortable. Still praying.

[RogerDat]

As a parent you have certain rights with a minor. Such as not allowing him to be questioned without you present if you wish to be there. I mention this because they police saying they can't tell you anything reminded me that they generally don't want to tell you anything. No upside for law enforcement to have an adult involved when dealing with a 16 year old suspect. You may be able to insist that your son not be questioned without a lawyer present on his behalf. I just don't know, you should probably consult with an attorney both regarding your parental rights and there may also be legal responsibilities associated with his actions that you may want to address now.

I'm all for people taking responsibility for their actions but I'm also convinced that a teenager on drugs gains nothing from jail unless and until the drug issue is dealt with. If the goal is reform then it is entirely reasonable to think sentencing to in-patient drug program and supervised probation is a better outcome than just charging for armed robbery as an adult. The courts are an adversarial process. You son will need someone in court to represent his best interests or he can get steam rolled pretty badly. This being the child's first experience being charged with armed robbery and certainly not the first time the prosecutor or police have dealt with it. They know what they are doing he will likely not.

I would not beat yourself up over how you raised him. Parents don't get it all perfect but kids at some point start to make own choices. Sixteen is young and stupid, throw in drugs or alcohol and not only does it impair their judgment at the time it also prevents them developing better judgment by learning from mistakes. You have to process life to learn from life. Stoned provides no clear memory of decision making or event to process and impairs ability to process and internalize the basics of "that didn't work well" and "why that didn't work".

+1 on secure your firearms and valuables, especially if you have a spare car key someplace he knows. He sounds like he is trying to avoid direct conflict with you and didn't steal your stuff when he went after his clothes, his friends are another matter. If his situation gets bad enough with drugs he may not care how he gets the money. I had an experience with withdrawal after surgery, I quit too fast and it was pretty bad. I had treatment available but can see where someone would go pretty far to stop feeling like that. On the spare key thing, wanting to get out of town and not knowing how to steal a car.... your spare key and vehicle might become the "logical" choice in the flawed thinking being engaged in.

[Remmy4477]

UPDATE: Son is safe!

A lot went on yesterday. My son talked with me all through the day on fb messanger. Then his mother called me then his cousin messaged me throughout the day.

Dalton was done running. Wanted to come home.
His cousin picked him up from where he was staying and brought him up to town, we all met at the local pd to notify them he was home. The officers were great. They talked to to him firmly and did there best to give him the scared straight business, I don't know if any of it took? The kid was clearly high and very tired. Looks like he's lost about 20lbs, skinny as a rail!

So now the hard work begins, counceling, schooling and building up trust.
He will probably sleep for a day or two and then we will take it one step at a time.

Want to give out our thanks to everyone, the wishes the prayers and all the advice! The homefront has changed and only time and lots of love will tell?

[Thundarstick]

May God be with you!

[Handloader109]

Those prayers were answered. Please, don't leave him alone for a second. Best if no phone, computer access for a long while. Separation from his so called friends is needed.
I could go on, but just good luck and prayers remain.

Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

[lightman]

That sounds like good news but please continue to be vigilant. He's not out of the woods yet and you don't need to let your guard down. Hoping this works out for the best for the both of you.

[nun2kute]

This makes my Soul ache. I was that boy, now I am you. But the only advice I can give you is You cant force help onto someone who does not want it. Courts and Rehab does nothing for someone unable or unwilling to admit to having problem. Didn't for me anyway. If you get a chance, Introduce him to Narcotics Anonymous. For You, ALANON.

[RED BEAR]

prayers go out to you. hardest thing i ever had to do was set with my son and see him sentenced to jail. told him to go in and plead guilty because he did it. others said don't do it they can't prove the charge. told him if he told truth i would stand with him no matter what. if he went into court and lied he was on his own. spent 10 days in jail and has never been in any trouble sence. that was over 20 years ago . he is now experiencing the same type of things. unfortunately going to jail has not helped his daughter one bit i think it just introduced her to the last people she needed to meat. i hope everything works out for you a lot of times if kids can get through the hard times they turn out ok.

[justashooter]

my kid's mom went walkabout, then openly hostile when they were grade school. eventually, she hit enuf brick walls to get humble.i did what i could, but a whacked out mom is a hard wall for any kid to climb. the oldest won't talk to either of us now. the other two, thank God, are good to me, and tolerate their mom. kids take wounds deep. stability and patience is all you've got. live an honorable life, knowing that they will judge you when they have standing. brick walls tend to teach lessons more effectively than "love".

[JBinMN]

I wish you the "Best!", once again!

Hoping & praying that ya'll work things out in a way that keeps everyone in a good situation!

[slim1836]

One step at a time, don't overpower him at the beginning. It's a long process, hopefully, the two of you will both win out.

Slim

[leeggen]

I have read this whole thread and it has brought back many memories good and bad. You and your wife need to get into Alanon. It is for the members of the family not on the drugs or drinking. It will let you know you are not alone in this. Also it will help guide you through the rough waters. Went through this with 2 sons and their half brother. Finally had to just turn them over to God and me step back and see I was not the leader. It took 10 years for one to get clean and his brother saw the change in the others life and now has followed too. He was out there for 15 years. God be with you and yours. You can contact me day or night, I'll send you my phone number if you like.
CD