Can you be to nice and trusting????

[3leggedturtle]

Too nice? Absolutely not.

Too trusting? Oh heck yes.


Cat

Exactly, I’ve helped lots of people (used to volunteer at shelter) I only trust people as much as I can afford to lose... The really good con artists and axe murderers are so smooth and nice, you wouldn’t even think to question them!! Todd/3leg

P.S. I also would rather lose a good deal,,, Than gain a bad one....

[trapper9260]

You can be nice ,but let who ever earn to be trusted. T rust very few people and they had earn that. There is so call friends ,there is very few true friends. Hope you understand what I mean.

[fatelk]

On the other hand, I can think of quite a number of people, mostly long-time friends and family, who I would trust with my life, or at least my wallet.

As frustrating as the jerks, scammers, and deadbeats are in this world, there are still plenty of people around with some ethics and strong principles.

[KCSO]

All I can say is I have NEVER had any problem with anyone here. I swap and sell fairly often and have had nothing but good results. Nowdays if somebody wants something small I just ship it out and wit for the check. Never had a bad one never got shorted.

Deal here these are the cream of the crop!

[Char-Gar]

You can never be too nice. Nice is always good. Trust is also good, but when you are doing business, then put on your business hat. Caveat Emptor, the old Latin saw means let the buyer beware. "A fool and his money are soon parted" is an old Texas saw. There are sharks in them there waters!

[marlin39a]

Abunaitoo, it's been 3 days. How did you make out?

[starbits]

he says....I need $2k for the materials .......I say .."I aint givin $2k to someone I just met."....net result.....I have to build my own fence,paid $2k for the steel,but its a nightmare with arthritic joints...and I still aint started.Expecting a letter from the council.....Maybe I should have trusted him?

A number of years ago I had a guy ask for a $500 down payment for buying materials, payed him and never saw him again. Changed the way I have done business ever since. You need materials, you buy them, down load them on my property and I will immediately pay you what the receipt says. Some have been unwilling to buy the material and some didn't want to offload on my property (probably because they were going to use some of the material on another job), but most understood and the jobs got done.

[Walks]

Every contractor I've used in the past 20yrs has cheated me, stole from me, did sub standard work. The only person I trust is my Gardener.
When he bought the business from the old Gardener, He brought over his Framed U.S. Citizenship Certificate, his Business License, His Insurance Certificate. Showed me his CA DL & Car insurance, Letter from the old Gardener. Then asked me to call him from the PH# I had in my Rolodex, to verify the change of ownership. He's kept the same rate in the 6yrs He's done my yard.

And he brings me a doz. Tamales at XMAS. I don't know know how many his wife makes but it must by A LOT.

He is one of only five people that I make a very Special Recipe PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE For XMAS. A Family Recipe that I'm the only person Left on the Planet that can make. My Surviving Daughter has no interest in learning.

[RED BEAR]

i will admit i will only lend what i can afford to give if it comes back then thats ok if not thats ok to. me and the misses are on social security so we don't have a lot but i have family that has it tougher than me so i try to help all i can. family and friends are far more important than money.

[abunaitoo]

So I finally got a hold of him on Friday morning.
Said he had some other things he had to do. Emergency.
He said he sent me text telling me what was going on.
Never got any of them.
But he said he had no excuse.
Said to come by at 10:00. He'd have it out by then.
Got there at 9:30.
He's still working on getting it out.
Had his wife helping him.
With my help, we finally got it out.
I kind of felt a little sorry for him and his wife.
We got it loaded, I paid him the rest.
My stupid good angel got a hold of me. Hate when she shows up.
I offered to take them to lunch.
We had a nice time.
Talked a lot about little nothings.
Anyway I got the engine.
Being to nice and trusting has cost me again.
Will I ever learn

[abunaitoo]

All I can say is I have NEVER had any problem with anyone here. I swap and sell fairly often and have had nothing but good results. Nowdays if somebody wants something small I just ship it out and wit for the check. Never had a bad one never got shorted.

Deal here these are the cream of the crop!

I've had problem with two buyers here.
One wanted a better deal, because he had given me a good deal on a press.
I never got a press from him. Never even bought anything from him.
I ended it and didn't sell to him.
Another said what he got wasn't what he thought it would be.
Wanted me to send him back half.
Told him to just send it back.
He said I would owe him double for the work he did to it.
Cut him off to.
Have both of them on a short list of "No reply/No sell"
I've been known to send things out, before getting payment.
Never been burned. Hope I never do.
Yes. Majority of the members here are Good People.
But as this place get more popular, I fear it may attract scammers.

[Handloader109]

Lot of good stuff here, and a lot of heartache. I've had my share, I only give money, (rarely) and is always a gift. Been on receiving end a few times, once took us a while, but money was paid back. I have borrowed, broken item and replaced. That pretty much stopped me from borrowing. Rather buy and its mine.

Never hand anyone on the street money. They are working you. Every one of them.
Now contractors. I've only used a few, no issues, but they were all established, gave references and I had seen their work. Paid minimal deposit and rest at end. Be very careful if they are small guys and materials are major portion of their work. You can have them buy against You, in some locals and then not pay, and. The suppliers can come and bill you for them and do mechanics lien against you. So you pay for materials a second time.

What gets me is the food banks around here. Government provides food via numerous agencies, wic, food stamps, etc. Why food banks?yeah, I know, a lot of folks don't qualify for government services. But do they really deserve free food from a bank? No, most don't. Sorry, tangent to original question. Be honest, be real, give where you think it will actually help usually, not who you think. Circular logic? No, reality. And yes, if it is too good to be true, it probably is...

And I've had good experience with everyone here. And I think I have been honest in my sales. If anyone ever has a complaint, let me know and I'll make it as right as I can.....

[osteodoc08]

Glad it worked out for you. Hope that motor runs like a top and never gives you a moments trouble. Sounds like he took on more work than he could handle at the moment. Glad it ended well.

[abunaitoo]

I volunteered at the food bank ONCE.
Never again.
Only people that came were all fat, had kids they couldn't control, drove newer cars than I did.
Also all non locals. Not to old. Maybe between 25 and 35.
Mostly women with gold bracelets, most time more than one, big SUV.,
We check their DEBT card, then give them the box for their card.
A few of them started yelling at me for checking their card.
They said they come all the time, "why you checking my card"
A few of them looked inside the box, took what they wanted, and left the rest.
At the end of the day, I asked the boss if it was always like this.
Giving food to people who don't need, or deserve it.
She told me they have no choice. If they have a card, they get a box.
I think she knew how I felt.
I'm sure there are people who really need the food, but I didn't see any that day.
They were all probably working.
Gave me some surplus corned beef, cheese, spam, and cookies.
Dropped them off at the care home by my house.

[RED BEAR]

never let others bad behavior affect your behavior. if you volunteer for something like a food bank don't let the people that are taking advantage of it get to you ( i admit its not always easy ) just realize that there are people who need help. and if your helping even some of them then thats a good thing. others bad behavior should not affect your good behavior.

[RogerDat]

I think the point that one can be nice without being a pushover or too trusting. Being a bit harsh if taken advantage of or ripped off makes sense but I can decline without being mean.

Food bank workers always seem to speak of the signs of undeserving recipients of aid. I prefer to think I don't know who will be helped or how. Who is truly deserving and who is not. If I'm helping out by giving my time I'm giving it. Not expecting good value in return and in the case of food donations I don't know is helped in the end. Might be the child of the most undeserving parent, the parent spends money on themselves and the kid has food from the charity of strangers. I can live with that. Aid programs that move beyond county or fairly local won't really know the recipients personal stories. It is one of the problems with programs administered too remotely. Oddly enough when we made aid for mothers and children depend on a man not being in the home we did more to make marriage a poor choice than the pill, abortion, and all the hippies combined. Married stops aid then people won't get married.

I mostly ignore panhandlers. Did call out one girl panhandling in Toronto on her "being hungry" story by pointing out those sneakers she had on cost more than groceries for a week or my work boots. On the other hand had an older fellow flat out tell me he was trying to get the scratch for a small bit of something to get him through the night. He told me what he was short and I gave him between 50 cents and a buck to cover it. Decided not my obligation to "cure" his drinking problem and he was honest enough about it. I could afford the change, it made him happy.

When it comes to helping and financial stuff family is the toughest, friends after that, but sometimes it is the kindness that allows us to trust enough in the "big picture" to help someone else out who may well not handle it any better than they handled their life before. None of that by the way applies to contractors. I'm paying for a job or job and materials that is business. Very little tolerance for a business cheat and if they won't agree to reasonable terms or want too much up front I'm with the folks that move on and find someone else.

[abunaitoo]

I always see post on craigs list asking for money help.
Most of the time it's "just until payday"
Also see......homeless single mother of four(?) needs help.
I'm all for helping those that work and have had a setback.
But those who have made poor choices, and now have no hope.
Sorry.
I'm poor to.
But I do what I have to, to make myself comfortable.
I wanted to do the Meals-on-Wheels thing, but gas is so expensive here.
Unlike most people here, I don't help to get noticed, I do it to help.
It burns me up when I see people asking for volunteers, or donations, while their being paid big bucks themselves.

[toallmy]

I'm selfish I guess I do kind things because it makes me feel like a better person .

[jimlj]

If the worse mistake we make in life is giving to those that may not really deserve or need the help, I don't think we will have too much to fear when we meet our maker.

[am44mag]

I'm nice, but I'm not very trusting. You have to earn my trust. If you lose it, it's not coming back. The whole needy person act is one that pisses me off. I don't give those people the time of day anymore unless I know for a fact they're living in a tent under an overpass.