Warning Warning Warning

[LUBEDUDE]

Sorry, I can not relate with most of you guys. I was married for 35 years and never touched her stuff and she didn’t touch mine. We had a mutual respect for each other’s stuff and space.

[Harter66]

I had an aquaintance many years ago that lived on a farm kind of out in the boonies . His Misses had bugged him about his stuff on/off but in particular his highschool car that had been tarped on the north side of the barn in the 2 side tractor shed for about 10 yr . The poly tarp had gotten shredded in a recent storm . A guy pulls up one day and asked her if the old car by the barn was for sale , at last her chance ! He made a low ball at $10k for a 27' Deusenburg complete save tires . Well she told him when he got off the mountain that his stuff was just fine where it was and that she thought maybe he should have a new building for the car and those 2 old motorcycles , 41&43 Harley's .

My Ms just works around stuff or gets a cake box , tote , or ammo can for it , and parks it on the house bench . I don't mess with her kitchen and laundry and she doesn't mess with my mess .

[RogerDat]

Mutual Respect, lack of power struggles over territory, or having paid attention in kindergarten when told not to take little Jimmy's or Susie's crayons without asking can all make shared space run smoother. Otherwise it's gonna work like prison. You mess with my stuff and you may not enjoy what happens to you in the shower. Or maybe you will, scrubbing each others backs is one way to smooth ruffled feathers. But....

I swear next time the plastic storage containers and bins I buy to sort stuff into end up all dumped into one bin so she can take the ones she empties after I sorted all the items is going to result in me giving the idea of a shanking in the exercise yard some consideration. In over 20 years that woman has never bought a bin or tote, she always takes the ones I buy. Most times after I use them of course.

Really though when you get right down to it I can't see how I can respect and live with anyone crazy enough to date men, or myself in particular.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

SNIP...

Really though when you get right down to it I can't see how I can respect and live with anyone crazy enough to date men, or myself in particular.

I suspect you are paraphrasing 'ole Groucho, LOL...


"I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER"
-Julius Henry (Groucho) Marx

[trapper9260]

As a single guy, all I can do is laugh at all the comments in this thread.

I find it laugh at also since I am single also .I see all the fun I am missing out on. I know it will be interested in time.

[yeahbub]

I'm single, but I too have tribulations with those who have the "throw-it-away" madness. Sometimes it seems they would throw something away just because they haven't done it yet that day. Good things, useful things. Why did you throw it away? "Well, I didn't know what it was for, so I threw it away." Did you think to ask? Then the defensive excuse-making and no-talk begins. There's something definitely amiss in someone who self-justifies these boundary violations and seems unable to conceive that there are other people in the world who have legitimate needs, interests and pursuits. This is the very definition of progressive behavior. My mother's caretakers would come into the house and re-organize it like they were at home with zero communication as to where things were put until I started insisting on communicating where things were, which resulted in that deer-in-the-headlights look. It was as though I (their employer) wasn't actually real beyond a paycheck until I insisted on some communication. I'm not perfect either, but I try to make sure people know about things which will affect them.

An acquaintance once acquired a WW1 8mm commission rifle in excellent condition with attendant accoutrement which the trash guy told him had been left sticking out of a trash can at the curb on trash day. I wondered if someone was going to the range one day and stepped away for a moment while his wife was in the room. Turns out a WW1 vet had passed away and his family had no interest in history and resorted to the usual mindless solution of "Just throw it away. . . ." People are often oblivious without intending to be. What troubles me are those who would have it no other way - and want you to be, too.

[blademasterii]

After my wife threw away a box left on the counter with a 400.00 phone in it that i had to pay for out of pocket, she is a lot less inclined to throw out anything that is not hers. I'm pretty sure my language and volume had nothing to do with that decision. She likes things "put away". I'm fine with put away. BUT PUT IT AWAY IN THE SAME PLACE EVERY 5^&*()(*& TIME. She does not have a key to my shop.

[MrWolf]

I would constantly ask her "where she thought it belonged" every time she would just move something for no reason. 30 years together. Divorce in last stages, separated for 1 1/2 years now. So much easier with just me and my puppy (13 months old now).

[yeahbub]

A friend of mine got married and some months later, he and his wife were in the living room, each reading a book. He said it got late, so she decided to turn in. He elected to read for a bit longer, so she closed her book, got up and when she left the room, she turned off the light. . . And was mystified why he was upset at being left in the dark. Twenty years on, they're still married and apparently doing well at it.

At a Marriage Encounter Weekend, the priest mentioned that life is often a struggle and many people are married to their chief persecutor, and the persecutor is often unaware of it.

[ThomR]

I do my best to clean up any messes I make in the house, and my wife stays out of the garage.
The garage is my area and she does not go in there.

[David2011]

A few decades ago while I was in college and still living with my parents I was building a street rod, a 1930 Model A Tudor Sedan. Mom decided to clean up my walled off, isolated, dedicated side of the garage while I was at work. A 5 gallon can of lacquer thinner disappeared. "Oh, we didn't see anything like that. We didn't move it." Two years later when I was getting something out of the attic in their part of the garage I found that can of thinner. "Oh, we didn't put it there." Right. It must have been the faerie wings.

My favorite silk Hawaiian shirt? MIA. "Oh, I thought it looked faded so I threw it out."

My better half rarely messes with my stuff and I show her the same courtesy. She has no interest in entering my part of the shop. I used her art studio recently to have enough room to fully assemble a 9' span model airplane I'm building but I still didn't mess with her stuff; just set it on a 3'x6' drafting table.

[Jeffrey]

This thread brings up a lot of not so good memories. I sometimes wish I had dumped her early in our relationship after she threw away my camouflage (hunting) clothes because "You hadn't used it in six months". I had to explain to her in not so quiet tones about hunting seasons and when they occur. Her bouts of 'throwaway-itis' have been drastically reduced since she put on the burn pit a sofa I was giving to a friend. She was drunk at the time. My (empty) threat to kill her dog for that brought police. ("YOU ARE DESTROYING SOMETHING I VALUE, I AM DESTROYING SOMETHING YOU VALUE") It has been not so bad since then. Her activity in my shop is restricted to vacuuming the floor. (DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING! DO NOT MOVE ANYTHING!) Still, there are times I wish I had been born ***** so as to not have to put up with a woman's BS as a condition for physical contact. As for the guys that '... married their best friend (opposite sex) ..." CONGRATU-FREAKING-LATIONS. I'm happy for you. Really.