My oh my! I have received an urgent message from a reliable source simply too good not to share!
It seems I'll be done in for soon enough!(ALERT!) We have placed a tracking device on a malcontent known as "George" and we suspect he is headed toward your location.
Be very afraid! He has been known to defeat security systems. He is known to pilfer items, help himself
to cookies, and he even drinks large amounts of top shelf alcohol! Be very, very afraid!