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Thread: My son blew his brains out on Feb 28

  1. #1
    Boolit Master

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    My son blew his brains out on Feb 28

    As my second son was placing 4th in the Olympics, my first son, Is now gone. I got the call yesterday.
    I had spent my entire life keeping myself ready to take him in. I am a master jeweler, I wanted to teach him casting, engraving, waxing, faceting, stone cutting, repairing, and silver New Pawn.
    I am just sitting here wondering why, and how do I replace 42yrs of fighting against the odds.
    I had at one point literally walking across the Northern Hemisphere. My heart was so broken. 4.5 yrs of solitary walking. I almost got killed, and his memory kept me walking as I wanted him to know it was not his fault.
    I feel so broken, my life right now is devoid of almost any feeling. My sister even told me, his taking his life was Trump's fault!
    I am surrounded by idiots. Our president had nothing to do with anything about my son. He was my son, and my sister is an Idiot Californian.
    I hurt. I have folks in my life, but I feel like I am on another planet.
    I ask myself, why me? I keep hearing, why not you? What makes you so special. I am a pastor, I guess it will make my sermons more indepth, more connected to people who also suffer like I never thought I would.
    Tomorrow is another day, it will be here whether I am here or not.
    Might just as well hang on and see what is next.
    Maybe I can do some good.

  2. #2
    Boolit Master



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    You are in my prayers Sir
    Being human is not for sissies.

  3. #3
    Boolit Master sawinredneck's Avatar
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    I’m so sorry. I sincerely hope he found the peace he so desperately sought.
    Quote Originally Posted by sniper View Post
    Irish Proverb: Never approach a Bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or an Idiot from any direction!

  4. #4
    Boolit Master Hannibal's Avatar
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    I've not the words. Very sorry for what has happened.

  5. #5
    Boolit Master
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    You have my heartfelt sympathy for your loss.
    Long, Wide, Deep, and Without Hesitation!

  6. #6
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    The words are not in me to express. I hope and pray you can find peace quickly ..
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  7. #7
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    Keep your oldest son in your heart and memory, but concentrate now on those remaining in your family and draw closer to them.

  8. #8
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    There are no words to ease this pain
    2 people close to me very close did the same do not blame yourself you don't have the power to stop this only the good Lord can answer this I cannot tell you any thing that you do not all ready know or feel but it is not your fault there is nothing you could do to prevent it I will pray for you and hope that God will come to you and let you know that you did all you could and there is a reason for what happened God be with you.

  9. #9
    Boolit Master
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    No words
    Keep posting we will keep listening
    when the dust settles and the smoke clears all that matters is I hear the words " well done my good and faithfully servant "

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  10. #10
    In Remembrance / Boolit Grand Master Boaz's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Der Gebirgsjager;4307500]Keep your oldest son in your heart and memory, but concentrate now on those remaining in your family and draw closer to them.[/QUOTE

    Der Gebirgsjager gave good advice .

    Sir I am so sorry to hear this , it is heartbreaking . I understand that no words can console you but many here care . My most heartfelt condolences and prayers for your loss . Lean on our Lord in this time of tragedy , many will be praying for you and your family .
    No turning back , No turning back !

  11. #11
    Boolit Buddy Steppapajon's Avatar
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    Docone 31,
    First of all I am very sorry for you loss. No Father should have to endure what you are going through. I am walking in very similar shoes and I will share what I have learned. Seek out people that have a shared experience. Reach out to your local Hospice and Palliative care association. There is help out there if you desire it. My son was an only child and even though I share common issues with surviving parents of all types, I find that there are issues that only another father of an only son can understand. Be ready for people to say the wrong thing, not because they are cruel, but because they have no idea what to say and they don't realize nothing would be a better choice.
    I know I am a stranger to you but if you ever need an ear to listen or shoulder to lean on PM me and I will respond. Hang in there brother and hold strong to your faith. You are in my prayers.
    SPJ

  12. #12
    In Remembrance
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    I never know what to say in any situation like this , except that I can not imagine the pain and mixed emotions you are going through. I will pray for you to be able to hold life together, and that you remember the good memories and times that you did have together.

  13. #13
    Boolit Buddy sparkyv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rl69 View Post
    No words
    Keep posting we will keep listening
    No words. You and your family are in my prayers, Pastor. God be with you.

  14. #14
    Boolit Master daniel lawecki's Avatar
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    I'm lost for words Prayers Sent.

  15. #15
    Boolit Grand Master

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    You have my condolences and my prayers for peace. I cannot even imagine your loss.
    KE4GWE - - - - - - Colt 1860, it just feels right.

  16. #16
    Boolit Buddy
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    No words are adequate in these situations. Condolences to your family. We are on a similar path after losing our daughter eleven months ago today to a truck driver who was under the influence. All we know is to get up each morning and press forward. Seeking out others with the same type experience may help.

  17. #17
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    You don't know me, but I'll send prayers for you. What happened is not your fault or anyone else's. Mental illness is a disease that sometimes is beyond our help. Honor his memory with thoughts when times were good.

  18. #18
    Boolit Master

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    Just prayers. All I can do. God comfort you and yours in this time of despair.
    "In God we trust, in all others, check the manual!"

  19. #19
    Boolit Master elmacgyver0's Avatar
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    I am sorry for your loss.

  20. #20
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    Very sad. Condolences to you , your family, & friends.
    2nd Amend./U.S. Const. - "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

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