Kids,Addicts,Lies,and Momma

[Thundarstick]

The title pretty much sums it up. The youngest son seems to have fallen back into substance abuse again. Along with that comes the lying and before long legal problems, guilt trips and baseless accusations. I know God will see me through no matter the ultimate outcome and I have a support system. His mother, on the other hand, is taking it extremely hard, and doesn't want to ever talk to him again. She's lost so much in the last few years, both her parents, her life long best friend, she thinks her son, and her spiritual life is bleak. He very well may spend more jail time as choices have consequences.
In light of some of the other prayer request this may be trivial, but pray for my wife and son to be healed. Pray for his other brother and sisters not to be taken in by his lying games, and pray he turns around. Pray for God to guide me day to day in this situation.

Thanking you ahead of time!

[leeggen]

Thundarstick sometimes tuff love is the best choice. I had 2 sons that turned to drugs. At first you look the otherway then soon you realise that isn't working and when push comes to shove you choice tuff love. In my case they are both clean, one has 2 yrs and the other just 2 months, as for me last month I turned 25 yrs clean. It can work, drugs are the hardest to beat. prayers with your familly.
CD

[jcren]

Prayers sent.

[Pine Baron]

Tough spot to be in brother. You're wise to be taking it day by day. My prayers for you and the family.

[nagantguy]

Prayers sent,it's a tough thing to battle a drug but you lose for sure when you give on them.

[USMC87]

Added to our prayer list, Our family has went through the same thing.

[Preacher Jim]

My prayers are for you and your wife as you are victims of the abuser.
Lord give thunderstick and his wife the grace to make it through this tragedy of a child in drugs. You are the only source of strength they have to hold them up and help them ride out this storm as you deal with their child to set them free of drugs.
In Jesus name we pray

[buckwheatpaul]

Father, I would like to pray for emotional and spiritual healing for Thundarstick's wife. She has had her life turned upside down for the last several years with the loss of her parents, her best friend, and no her son falling into the abyss of drugs. She needs the special attention and healing that only You can provide. Please lead her down the path to emotional and spiritual healing. In regards to their son please allow him see the error of his ways. He is destroying his life and the life of his mother. Please open his eyes and encourage him to seek help. AMEN

[Thundarstick]

His momma has been screaming and crying all day long, please continue to pray for her!

[Pine Baron]

Praying right now.

[Boaz]

`I am praying for all your family . I Pray your son will recover . Almost every family has been affected by drugs .

[JimB..]

Prayer of course, but also some unsolicited advise. Look for counseling for you and your wife. Talk openly with your other children about the situation, you know that if he keeps down this path he’ll soon start trying to drive wedges between family members to get what he wants. Hold the rest of the family together first, you aren’t giving up on him, you’re making sure that there is something for him to come back to.

[Thundarstick]

Thank you JimB that's already been taken care of with the other children, but his mom is very vulnerable to being manipulated. Keeping my ears open for what God wants me to do, or not do.

Thank all for the prayers, God's working!

[castalott]

Dear Lord... Sincere Prayers for Faith, Hope, Healing,Love, Mercy, Strength, and Understanding... May this family pull together..not apart.. Amen

[GhostHawk]

Trouble in the family is never trivial. Ever.

Support Momma the best you can.

Send the tough love message to the young one.

Clean up, straighten up, grow up for good, or get out, get out of this part of the country.
Your choice.

No excuses.

Its hard, I was the black sheep in our family. Was not so bad for me, only a DUI, one night in jail, 3 driving under suspension. Sheriff caught me walking from my last court appearance just as I climbed into my truck. Threw me in cuffs, hauled me into the judges chambers.

Told the judge everyone I know works at the mill, they are all working. It was either drive, or fail to appear. I felt that driving was the lessor of 2 evils. Judge stared at me. Said I'm going to let you go. But if I ever see your face in my courtroom again your doing all those suspended sentances. And some more added on.

I grew up, quit drinking, became a model citizen.

But you have to come to that point.

I'll be praying for you and your family.

[Thundarstick]

One more time thank you all.

Here's the low down, short version. He lives about 3 hours away from us, not so far or to close. There is a wonderful Christ centered recovery there where he attended and graduated a 10 month program. He worked during the last half and continued to work but started neglecting meetings and his recovery contracts. Then got a DUI admitted it and said he had it under control and not to tell his mom. As anyone who is an addict or loves an addict knows there is no control! About last April he moves in one of his old "dealer" friends. When I expressed concern he assured me this guy was now straight and don't worry. I'm sure you see where this is going by now? Next comes a drug charge, now another, and now he's wanting us to pony up (bail him out) with $6000 in legal fees. He's admitted to using and dealing and is probably heading to jail lawyer or not.
I was wrong in keeping it from his mom, I know, but was trying to protect her. Needless to say, she is devastated. She is a recovering alcoholic that doesn't attend meetings and won't get help otherwise for depression. She is no fool, she knows he's using, and like any mother wants to protect her child from hurting, but this is beyond our capabilities to fix. Even if we had the money I know it would be far from fixed! I may as well take out a loan, cash it into $100 dollar bills and start a bond fire with them.

Me, I've been in Al-Anon for 11 years (started with mom and stayed in),I don't take guilt trips, know the difference between helping and enabling, have a grounded support group, and a strong faith in God's wisdom and love for each of us. I've informed him that we can't swing lawyer money, but when he's ready to go back to the Hope Center and get real help I'm in.

Keep praying for us, especially strength for mom and surrender for him.

[AK4570]

Prayers lifted for hope, healing, and the restoration that only our Lord can bring.

John

[Boaz]

One more time thank you all.

Here's the low down, short version. He lives about 3 hours away from us, not so far or to close. There is a wonderful Christ centered recovery there where he attended and graduated a 10 month program. He worked during the last half and continued to work but started neglecting meetings and his recovery contracts. Then got a DUI admitted it and said he had it under control and not to tell his mom. As anyone who is an addict or loves an addict knows there is no control! About last April he moves in one of his old "dealer" friends. When I expressed concern he assured me this guy was now straight and don't worry. I'm sure you see where this is going by now? Next comes a drug charge, now another, and now he's wanting us to pony up (bail him out) with $6000 in legal fees. He's admitted to using and dealing and is probably heading to jail lawyer or not.
I was wrong in keeping it from his mom, I know, but was trying to protect her. Needless to say, she is devastated. She is a recovering alcoholic that doesn't attend meetings and won't get help otherwise for depression. She is no fool, she knows he's using, and like any mother wants to protect her child from hurting, but this is beyond our capabilities to fix. Even if we had the money I know it would be far from fixed! I may as well take out a loan, cash it into $100 dollar bills and start a bond fire with them.

Me, I've been in Al-Anon for 11 years (started with mom and stayed in),I don't take guilt trips, know the difference between helping and enabling, have a grounded support group, and a strong faith in God's wisdom and love for each of us. I've informed him that we can't swing lawyer money, but when he's ready to go back to the Hope Center and get real help I'm in.

Keep praying for us, especially strength for mom and surrender for him.

I can't offer advice online . Love him . Take care of her , It's hard , it's dang hard . Pray much ...you are in a hard place . Give it time , time is on your side , time heals wounds , patience and forbearance....Time and caring , love and prayer ....listen .

I love you brother .

[Thundarstick]

Love is what is all about! Prayers are being answered! Mom is hurting, but not going mad like yesterday. He's very abusive to me at the moment and manipulative with his mom. She made the comment this morning, "He knows exactly what to say to rip my heart out". I said, well of course he does, he's going to stick a pry bar under every loose shingle trying to find one he can pull up and work on! I did make the suggestion she not talk to him except through text so she would have time to recognise an attack and not respond with out thinking. Her last message to him. When your ready to get real help, we're here. Amen

[GhostHawk]

Best thing at this point is to make him sweat it out in jail.

I would not bail him out. And I would dang sure tell momma.

And momma needs to go read him the riot act.

You did this. This is a direct result of choices you made.
You can NOT drink, or do drugs. You can't handle it. So don't do it.
Get clean, get serious, get a job and keep it for 2 years. Then you can come visit. We'll see.

No excuses, its no ones fault but HIS. Don't let him throw guilt on you. It is HIS life and he screwed it up. So he pays the penalty. Sits in jail. Remind him that drug users catch Aids and die.

Be tough, I know ya love him. Praying for you all. But I am not sure he can be saved.