A bit of a surprise concerning a person aging

[opos]

Just a few thoughts this morning on a part of the aging process that I sure had not expected.

I'm 80 in about a month and I, like so many others suffer some physical disabilities but just keep on trucking...I've been a very strong, hard working man through my entire life..hard core sportsman..hunter and fisherman...active with car things, hot rods, etc...a skiier, swimmer, you know...hard working and hard playing man all allong.

About 10 years ago I had a series of things that sort of changed things...had to have a total knee replacement from an old inury and it was one that was really involved..while I have had great success with it there are some things I can't do....about the same time I was in Mexico and suffered a "blunt force trauma" injury to my chest on a fishing boat...like hitting the steering wheel in a crash with no air bag...it destroyed the phrenic nerve that makes your diaphragm work on one side so I'm left with only half my breathing capability...that just sort of progresses....can't be fixed so breathing is limited...on top of that I have later stages COPD from all the years of smoking and it's really taking it's toll...finally I was in a TWA airline mishap in 1974 and got my back broken...it supposedly was repaired and has been ok for a long time...but i exercised a lot so it stayed strong and loose.

Upshot is breathing limits any ability to exercise so back and legs are failing and that limits any exercise (vicious circle) and the COPD and one lung cuts my ability to breathe to a small percentage of what I'd need to do any meaningful exercise.

So to the crux of things....a few days ago I went to Lowes to shop for a dishwasher...mid day ...went in (it's an enormous Lowes store) and I was having a bad breathing and walking day....and then I spotted it....the scooter that they have for customers. Ive seen those and seen folks riding them but have always passed it off as something for use by handicapped folks and certainly nothing I'd use. Well, I thought I'm going to give that thing a try.

I figured out how to run it and went up and down a wide aisle a couple of times to get the hang of things and then headed into the heart of the store to find the dishwashers. There was the sign...clear at the end of the building so very glad I had my trusty scooter...I headed down the aisle....the further I went the more crowded the aisles were with merchandise and when I got to the appliance section the aisles were full and over crowded with displays, huge washer and dryer combinations, etc and the little girl working there was up on a ladder stocking shelves with stuff piled all over the floor...I somehow managed to navigate the way back to the dishwasher section and began to look at things and as I weaved in and out of the junk on the floors I got deeper and deeper into the maze of stuff until I was blocked on all sides except behind me.

I backed out with beeper beeping, bouncing off display after display with the little girl hollering to look out I was hitting things...I asked here which aisles were open so I could just get the hell out of there and she gr udgingly got off the ladder and moved a bunch of stuff to sort of clear a path...she was the only person I saw anywhere in a Lowes costume. I managed to get out to the main aisles again and tried to make a plan of how to go to get into the dishwasher section and finally figured i'd park the scooter and walk back in and get literature and look at th e units.

Iparked the scooter well out of the way and started back when I heard the dread words from the little girl : "you can't park that there..move it"..so back on the scooter I went and straight to the exit...I was in the door way area where the carts, etc were all stacked up and I parked the scooter and started to leave and walk the long walk back to my car when the cashier said "you can't leave that there..it goes in the next door area..I told her she needed to get someone to handle that if it was important and I left.

I was mad, embarassed, humiliated and felt like I'd just crossed some terrible invisible line into a whole new phase of my life....so I came home..got on the internet..the Wife and I "internet shopped" and ordered a dishwasher...no scooter or crowded aisles, no children in charge and no "rules"..I do understand why brick and mortar stores are having a problem but much of it is their own making...The scooter was supposed to be a help and I do appreciate that...but the lack of simple customer courtesy that goes along with it as well as the piles of junk and displays filling the aisles offsets any convenience and makes for a very difficult time in their store.

Like Dirty Harry said..."Man's got to know his limitations".....when I was 60 I was strong as an ox..nothing stopped me when I was on a quest...had no need for "aids" or helps and now have realized things may be a bit different...going to be on line more and go to smaller stores when I do need to go out...big box stores have lost their charm.

So here's to all the older guys and gals that are sort of finding things out they really don't want to discover...just keep a smile and realize it's just what every one ahead of us has gone through...some day that little girl with the sassy attitude might be the one trying out the scooter for the first time and someone will get in her face about blocking things and hitting things..I'd love to be there.

Oh, and one more thing....we have a dishwasher that has been there for many years..just tired but still working...the plubming and electrical works just fine but lo and be hold because I live in the idiot state of California the fix it fairies that take care of all my safey and health (same folks that bring us legal marijuana and sanctrary cities) have changed the plumbing and electrical codes and nobody will take out the old dishwasher and install the new one without some alteration to the plumbing and electrical...so I began the calling..near us is a plumbing and electrical shop...been there for years...have used them on out house and our rental nearby..they said they would send out the electrical estimator (cost $40) and then send the plumbing estimator (again a $40 cost) and then give us a combined estimate..I found this same friendly greeting at a couple of other places so you know what ?? (and here come the flamers)....I'm calling Phileppe...we live very close to the Tijuana border and there are hundreds if not thousands of hard working Mexicans that are skilled,cheap and clean...I try not to use them....I try hard to insure Americans get the jobs I might have if I need help...and have usually found people....but now I find that the insane laws...the rules and restrictions, the changing and ever dumber reglations have just gone far enough...Phileppe will show up..with one helper...I'll tell him not to let oil from his "chebby" leak on my driveway...I'll have the "hose kit" ready (got it from the same place as the dishwasher..on line)...he will come in..carefully spread out cardboard and old quilts to protect the floor..pull the old washer...install the new one and hook it up and make sure all is well (using the old electrical and plumbing lay out (new wires and pipes and valves) and he'll clean it up and take the old dishwasher (probably back toTijuana for some family member that can use it...and I'll give him whatever he asks (which will probably be way less than half of the stores and no "$40 estimate" for each trade...

I'll do what I need to do to survive and more people are doing the same...so keep the scooter..keep the estimates, keep the rules and regulations...I'll get my stuff...get me a hard working "border buddy and we will have a dishwsher.

[Houndog]

It seems like a letter to the manager of that particular store and a letter to Lowe's corporate offices detailing your shopping experience along with the conclusion of your purchase is in order. Lowe's is loosing market share big time and I'm sure they would like to know about your experience shopping with them.

[bedbugbilly]

ops -I don't think anyone could have said it better! I'm not as old as you but I've been a diabetic for over 50 years and it has taken its toll - and as I get older, I have come to realize all the hurdles my folks and others their age had to get over. The secret is to keep a sense of humor and remember that everyone is going to be there some day.

My mother ended up paraplegic the last ten years of her life due to some complications during a surgery. I remodeled her home to make it barrier free as I could and to make it as easy on her as I could. I gained a whole ne respect for what folks have to endure that are in a wheelchair. I remember taking my Mom in to a clothing store that she liked so she could get some new clothes. The first display int heir window that I saw had a manikin (sp?) in a wheel chair as part of their display. They were trying to be "politically correct" and show how they welcomed everyone. Yea, right! The store was so crowed with displays and what not that you couldn't even get a wheel chair down many of the main aisles, let alone do some wandering so my Mom could look at things. Normally, I would have kept my mouth shut and just left - but it really upset me as I could see the disappointment in my Mom's face when she couldn't get to where she wanted to be. I grabbed on to a manager and very politely pointed out their display with the manikin and then the width of their aisles and the difficulty it presented to those in wheelchairs. She listened to what I had to say and said she would look in to it - but a month later my wife and I were in the store and nothing had changed.

I guess when you're young and invincible, you don't worry about such things or those who are facing health issues that may need some help. My family had a lumberyard/hardware and our policy was that the customer always came first. You dropped what you were doing if someone needed help and then went back to what you were doing.

I think a lot of it is a "generation thing". We were brought up to respect our elders. We were brought up to try and help those who needed help if it was within our power to do so. Not today - at least in a lot of cases. But what are we to expect when everyone has their face glued to their smart phons texting and such? They don't have he ability to communicate with their fellow beings on a face to face basis nor the compassion at times to know and recognize when a person is having an issue - when all it would take is a few moments to offer help or t least a smile and word of encouragement.

Yep . . . we're all going to get there and the road can be rocky - but keep a smile on your face and keep moving - even if it might be a might bit slower than yesterday. I have learned to count my blessings each and every day for the things I can do and not worry about the things I can't do.

Glad yo and your wife were able to make arrangements for your new dishwasher and may God bless both of you and watch over you.

[Land Owner]

I hear your frustration opos. I am reeling from the self-inflicted death of my 79 year 11 month old deer and hog hunting partner last week. He, like you, had OCPD so badly that I hated to watch as he struggled for more than the 2.5 liters per minute of O2 that his "iron lung" would provide, and his efficency and capacity for more was zero. When incontinence set in, his dignity was crushed and he settled for death.

Maintain your dignity AT ALL COSTS opos. DO NOT let the whipper snappers erode your mental health. I am 16 years the junior of my friend now departed. It is my wish for every young person to seek the council, advice, and mentoring of an older person. Find someone you can make a member of your family. Make them your friend and help them in every way in which you are able. Your young legs can go a long way in making someone's life quite a bit easier. Hopefully, in this "pay it forward" sort of way, you too will be graced with the acceptance and friendship of someone your junior who will aid you in your older age and take you kindly to your grave.

I worked in the same office with my mentor for 15+ years, before his retirement 14 years ago. Over those years he taught me and encouraged me in shooting, reloading, and Life! I repaid him with my life-long friendship and all of the hunting opportunities on my land that he was able to take. He was my friend and I miss him terribly.

[frkelly74]

I feel your frustration. I am on the same journey but about 10 years behind you. The part about children in charge is particularly troubling to me.

[mold maker]

I bought an electric stove from Lowes about 11 years ago. At the time the internet didn't offer choices like it does now. When it recently came time to replace my 30-year-old refrigerator I had almost the same experience, electric cart and all.
The aisle to the manager was clear and I used it. After explaining my predicament I was treated like a king. The manager took me to the appliances and requested, in a forceful way, that the aisles be immediately cleared for customer access or heads would roll. He personally assisted me in making a choice and all the details of delivery and haul off of the old one.
Being handicapped isn't a choice, but my money is as green as anyone else. If the retail stores don't want to go the way of the Doo Doo bird, they had better return to the phylosophy that the customer is always right and courteousy counts.
For those caught in similar circumstances, remember that only the squeaky wheel gets greased. And the louder you squeak the quicker and more attention you'll get.
There are two things I refuse to do. I will not stand in line for the privledge of spending money, or pay for lousy service. I expect to be treated with the same courtesy that I give, and won't reward rudeness.

[richhodg66]

I know a lot of us bash California and urban environments in general, but I am 100% sure you would NOT have been treated like that in our Lowe's here in Manhattan or Topeka. I doubt you'd have been treated like that anywhere in Kansas (or Oklahoma, Texas, S.C., other places I've been a while).

I'm now watching my folks in the end stages, mom in particular. They're in an assisted living place and it breaks my heart. Dad could still get out and do stuff and does some, but he really doesn't want to get far from mom. I hate it, but it's going to happen to all of us if we live long enough.

I wouldn't feel bad about hiring a non-American if he has the work ethic and skills and is thankful for the opportunity.

[wlkjr]

If I ever have to use a scooter and all the paths are blocked, I'm pissy enough to start hollering for the manager and get his name, then start the reporting process. Sometimes this works, and sometimes they just don't care. I do a lot of online shopping and save a considerable amount of money. Fortunately, I'm still able to do most of my projects myself. I rue the day I have to depend on someone else to do them to my satisfaction.

[Battis]

Just before the 4th of July, my dishwasher died. We ordered a new one from Home Depot. All was well as far as shipping, etc. I installed the new dishwasher myself -took me awhile but I did it. Turned it on, and it worked fine. But...the next day the hot water heater died (when I was in the shower). Try to find someone to install a hot water heater on July 1st (long weekend). My plumber/heating contractor said they could be out on July 3rd for $1600, but if I could wait till Thursday it'd cost $1400. I waited.
Here's the kicker - the hot water heater had a warranty of 6 years. It was installed 6 yrs and a month ago, so, no warranty.
The theory is that when I changed the dishwasher out, then turned the main water line back on (the dishwasher did not have a separate turn-off. It does now)) the water surge finished off the hot water heater that was probably on its last legs.
That was the same week my dog was attacked by a pitbull (it also bit me). $500 vet bill, $100 ER visit for me (for a Band Aid). The pitbull lost and eye in that fight. It was an expensive dog fight.

[opos]

A bunch of my frustration is looking at a job that I'd do in a couple of hours and that I'd really enjoy the satisfaction of doing it and now realizing if I get down to do the work we are going to have to get a crane to get me up..I got to realize I'm reaching the point when some of the money I've tucked away is for me to use for things for me...and not worry about having to call in help...but I just won't be disrespected...I don't demand respect..that is earned but disrespect is just wrong from a merchant. We'll all get er done one way or another

[opos]

It seems like a letter to the manager of that particular store and a letter to Lowe's corporate offices detailing your shopping experience along with the conclusion of your purchase is in order. Lowe's is loosing market share big time and I'm sure they would like to know about your experience shopping with them.

The manager at Lowes in Santee, Ca will get a print out of this thread with "names" removed..just the comments..already had that planned...not fair for me to blast them without involving them...

[shooter2]

JMHO, but customer service at Lowes is near non existent. Home Depot is marginally better. The trend is not encouraging.

[OS OK]

opos...your a brave soul to be willing to talk about this...the declining health part. It does sound like you are dealing with it though...that's 1/2 the battle won.
I can't seem to find the hoospa inside to discuss this failing health thing...for me it's like admitting something I don't want to deal with or if I admit it, somehow it becomes more real and I don't want the help or sympathy of friends and family....just have to do things for myself, period. If I just keep ignoring the symptoms then maybe it's not really there but the limitations are. Having been strong and active all my life, looking back from here is a reality check. An unpleasant one in the least.

I want to do things for myself until the end...that's my reality. They will find me deader than a hammer one day somewhere out on the property, but I'll have my boots on and a smile on my face.

I'll include you in my prayers, seems as though that list of friends grows longer as the years go by...prayers are the best help I can offer since you live on the other end of the state.

c h a r l i e

[Battis]

10 or so years ago I worked at Home Depot part time in the Electrical Dept. I lasted 3 months.
I then went to Lowes up the street and worked in the Plumbing Dept part time. I lasted 3 months.
The fact that anyone would hire me to work in the Electrical or Plumbing departments is crazy. Like Sergeant Shultz, I know nothing... I might as well have gotten a job as a brain surgeon at the local hospital.
There's a local hardware store in my town, one of those old-school places that has everything (including knowledge). While at Lowes and Home Depot, I sent many people to that store, as did many other employees at both stores. The manager of Home Depot used to buy his lumber at a local old-school lumber yard.

[jdfoxinc]

I'm only 62 but the condition of both my knees requires me to use the scooter. Its gotten to the point I avoid busy times at Sam's club so I know there is one available. I used one at Sprouts the other day and experienced too narrow aisles, too much junk etc. Frustrating.

I now joke with the younger people to take care of their knees. Got x-rays done yesterday, asked Dr to compare with ones from a year ago. No cartilage left. I have to lose over 100 lb before they will operate. Hard to do when just standing up hurts so much. Block and tackle time.

[Handloader109]

My wife has issues and won't get on one of the scooters.o do know what your talking about it frustrated me just pushing a cart.... Keep plugging!

[DerekP Houston]

Man that little girl was a jerk, someone needs to understand what goes around comes around. Even being in decent shape it bugs the **** out of me when I can't push a cart down an aisle. Getting old ain't for sissy's is what my grandpa always said.

[fatelk]

There's a certain pride that comes with being young and strong. I think it's one heck of a blow to the ego when you realize those days are behind you.

I'm many years behind some of you all, but just in the last year have started having problems with my feet. I've never been athletic but always a fast walker and nimble on my feet, so this has taken time getting used to. No fun.

I worked with a young guy who's strong and athletic. He's confident to the point of cocky, and I've heard him refer to his father as a "stupid old man". He's got a lot of learning to do in life.

I'm raising my kids to be respectful, especially towards the elderly. "Old people" are just people who are old, and that will be you someday, if you make it that far. When you're young you think you're Superman and your strength and vitality will never fail. My oldest son knows different though. He's had arthritis since he was three years old.

[country gent]

I have been fighting Multiple Schlrosis since 2002. I still do the things I did before just not always the same way as before. I'm in the process of going to a power wheel chair now. I do use the scooters in stores that have them and they are a blessing for the most part. One problem with the store scooters power carts are that they are seldom a decent charge and when one dies its a real issue. I sat in a krogers 40 mins on a dead one milking 30-40 feet at a time as the batteries came back up while 3 employees walked by a little ways off. My indoor chair is always kept charged and goes longer than I do. I have had people wanting to help "open" a door for me not realizing I was also using it for support. Do all you can how you can never give up or in to the nay sayers. Keep plugging along. Menards lowes and local stores all are very helpful to me and are very good. When Ive had to shop alone at the local Krogers they have offered help to me so I don't have to stand and sit so much. To a lot of managers and personel we are a big liability risk due to our issues and being in the store.

[lightman]

My MS is restricting my ability to walk. I attended the Tulsa gun show last spring, knowing that I could not cover the whole show, but determined to try. After standing in line forever I was give out before I covered 5% of the show. After a lot of mental struggle I gave in and went and rented a battery cart. It allowed me to see the rest of the show. But, it was a challenge. People are really rude to handicapped people on carts. They cut in front of you and then stop, cut you off, walk into you, on and on. Usually a big store is not that crowded but blocking the isles with stuff is not good.