Trial

[buckwheatpaul]

Charlie, It is good that Becky had the E.R. personnel call you.....it is bad that she is not back home with you but she is of the age and her free choice has already taught her some major life lessons. Becky has a good foundation and she will eventually know her heart and as she grows up things will get better. Her situation is no difference than we grew up with our parents. It is normal but heartbreaking for us as parents.

Father, I am still praying that You will deliver Becky from the bad influences that has a hold on her. Please raise the fog so that she can see her situation for what it is. Please heal her physical injuries and protect her from the evil that surrounds her. Father, I am also asking for comfort and remove the concerns that Charlie is suffering from the wandering of Becky. Please take his concerns away and help him bridge that gap that has developed between them. Father, You are in charge and we almost never understand the situations that happen around us but You can lift the veil and reveal Your will to Becky and Charlie and I pray that You keep them safe and resolve those differences that have developed. AMEN

[Boaz]

I reread this thread when I got up this morning . I have caused many to worry about me and for that I apologize . I am good , I'm not having a spiritual crisis , never have . GOD is still there and still with me....always has been .
Haven't drank anything since I posted the thread , tired of that , was just a stupid thing to do anyway . I have done plenty of lay family counseling in treatment facilities , I'm not going down that dark winding road to nowhere .

It's just time to crawl back in the saddle and move on . Becky knows GOD , he will protect her . I want to thank everyone who has posted and those who contacted me by pm or phone . You have lifted me up , you caring and concern helped more than you know . Thank you .

Well tonight is bible study night at church , haven't been to church in 3 weeks . I will be there , got plenty of work to keep me busy . I'm wore out and tired of worrying , it's just time to give it to him and move on . Praise GOD

Thank you all
Charlie

[GhostHawk]

Now that is good news.

Brother Boaz you know you are loved. We know the pain you are feeling.
If we can help just talk to us. We are here for you.

Now, pass the word to becky that you have put the alcohol away.
That you are back doing the Lord's work. Trying to trust his will.
And watch the pieces fall back together.

Remember, that bird has flown the nest. It most likely won't want to come home. But it can come visit if you assure it that it won't be captured.

[Char-Gar]

Boaz....I am glad things seem to be smoothing out a bit. I know this must be a dreadful time for both of you. Being 18 is a very difficult time at best.

My daughter recently adopted a boy. He is 1 1/2 and she got him the day he was born. He is a delightful child and she is very excited as are we all. Still, there is a voice in the back of my head that keeps me on the edge of my seat. I am very pro-adoption and it works out very well in the vast majority of the cases. However, even the best parenting can't overcome DNA. I have seen some adopted kids go haywire in spite of all parents can do.

Of course, these problems are not limited to adoption. I have seen natural born children go haywire as well despite the best of parent circumstances. I guess the point in all of this, is don't be hard on yourself, this most likely has nothing to do with your parenting.

I take comfort and knowing that most kids will swing a wide loop as they move from childhood to adulthood. This scares the bejeezes out of parents and they think all is lost. Seldom are things lost for good. The vast majority of the kids come back to their early values after a time of flying loose from the cage. This is just part of growing up.

When things don't work out with kids and there is no coming home to values, and there has been positive parenting, it is usually a DNA thing or drugs. There are the truly heart breaking situations.

Keep us posted and all of you are in my prayers. Prayer does matter and prayer does work.

[kfd518]

remember the basics of your walk
Praying brother

[castalott]

Charlie...time to be a sea anchor... ships used to carry an ugly thing on deck called a sea anchor... When the storm came up you drop the sea anchor with a long line to the bow. The anchor made some resistance in the water. The ship was blown by the wind until the line got tight and turned the bow of the ship into the wind...which is the best way for it to withstand the storm. Throw your sea anchor out and weather the storm......

Dale

[GhostHawk]

Charlie we all fall and fail, many of us daily. The important things are to keep trying, keep trying to stay in the Lord's Will. And when something is too big for us to handle trust in the Lord.

Hang in there brother. Even sandstone can be worn, broken, scraped, carved with anything sharp. But given a chance it will endure. Don't trust your strength, trust the Lords.

[Blackwater]

Charlie, you've planted seeds within Becky, that I believe surely must grow. Many of the best Christians I know had their time of rebellion and willfulness. And yet, they became some of the finest examples of Christianity I know. Look at all those old WWII vets, and all that they went through. Most of us here can't possibly imagine, even, what all they did and saw and felt. Yet, so many of them were led to Christ and a lifetime of trying to serve Him, and learn to follow Him, despite all the horror and inhumanity they saw on the battlefields.

It's almost as if, if we want to get one thing, we have to endure its opposite in order to really understand and appreciate what we actually HAVE in this life. We're willful creatures, and I suspect many of us here had times in our past when we bucked like a mule, and had OUR way for a while, so we could LEARN finally and definitively just how important it really is to follow the immaculate direction and advice Christ left us to consider and learn from.

I believe Becky will find her turning point. I can't imagine her NOT doing so! God be with you both, and keep and guide and protect you, and keep you both from all harm. His love and mercy is truly a wonder, and at some points in our lives, we seem to HAVE to learn this the "hard way" for ourselves. Those are the lessons we tend to keep best.

[GhostHawk]

Brother 40 years I wandered in the wilderness alone, fighting the Lords way. Going my own way, and suffering endlessly as a result.

40 years I shied away from church and religion. And I still think 98% of all church's in America are not doing the job they are supposed to be doing. Mankind has turned Christ's Bride into the painted ***** of Babylon. And while there are good Christians in some of those churches they are too few. And those standing up front preaching, how many are preaching Revelations and the End Times Prophesy? 1 in a 100?

The rest are afraid they will drive their people away?

But that is my hangup, that is my cross to bear. And it weighs heavy on me. And I know I should turn the other cheek, I know I should forgive. But it is hard.

What you are going through is also hard, in a different way.
Your ex-wife, becky's mom could be another 10 years before she dies.
Somehow you have to let go, what will be, will be. Lay it at the Lord's feet.
Let him take your burden. His yoke is light.

All of us carry around our burdens, all individual, all pain and suffering from one point or another. All needless, let it go. Learn to love, learn to turn the other cheek, learn to forgive before it happens. Learn to understand.

Only God see's it all, the end from the beginning and the beginning from the end.
Only he can see that what is to come, and how we learn from our pain.

Trust him, his promises are kept. He is waiting for us with open arms. And he knows our hearts, what we feel, what we think.

There is no better friend and guide.

Go with God Charlie.

[Der Gebirgsjager]

Boaz--I read through the thread, and just don't have much to add. You have many friends that care for you and your daughter, and we wish you all the best.

I didn't see where anyone mentioned the Book of Job. The man's afflictions were terrible. Children killed. Everything taken from him. Friends that somehow thought his actions had brought the wrath of God upon him. But, in the end, God talked with him, and restored him to a situation in life better than what he previously had. I am not saying that you aren't right with God. I'm just saying read through the book. Perhaps there is some encouragement there for you. If there was light at the end of the tunnel for Job, there is certainly light for you.

I'll pray for you and your daughter. It seems like so many teens have to go out and experience life to find themselves and find out that they knew where they were all along, and return to the values they were taught. Puts me in mind of myself, who joined the Army and found out that they would take even less **** from me than my parents did. Three years of reality training taught me that my father was really my best friend, had leveled with me all along, and had been preparing me for life. Becky will be back.

May God bless you.

DG

[Bulldogger]

Stay strong brother. I can't add anything to this thread in terms of advice. I've not been a praying man for many years, but I still get my knees dusty when I think it's truly deserved/needed. I got my knees dusty just now at my desk at work and prayed for strength and comfort for you and Becky.
Alex