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Thread: Trial

  1. #1
    In Remembrance / Boolit Grand Master Boaz's Avatar
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    Trial

    It's Sunday 4 23 17 3;49 pm . I have not attended church for three weeks . Becky took everything she owned down to her birth certificate three weeks ago . She is gone .

    I saw it coming , her mother is dying , she is in the last stage of Alzheimer's . I have tried to council , talk , encourage her but she blocked me out . I just came from seeing her mom at the rest home . Becky is in the wind .

    I have been trying to keep busy today , trying not to think . All the treatment centers , church , personal , church programs for problem kids , well heck just lay 'stuff' I have started or been involved in seems to have failed me with her . I failed . Seems like a third of my threads are my failings , we all fail . As usual I just reread James , I relate to James . James was plain spoken , he told the undeniable truth in few words , you see him trying to be diplomatic but presenting fact . The book of James is short I encourage you to read it twice .

    James 5;16


    16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.


    Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

    James died by being thrown off a two story building because he refused to deny GOD . When that failed to kill him he was again demanded to deny GOD ..he refused and was put to the sword . Yea , demands thought .

    The last three weeks I have ben drinking a pint of liquor a night , haven't drank in bout 35 years . Rough necked on drilling rigs , did bout everything 'oilfield' , well acquainted with the effects of liquor . Kills the pain , dulls the senses but doesn't solve anything . Creates a brand new Hell in your life . Haven't been posting much , haven't been doing anything except trying to avoid pain . Got multiple problems right now . Swallowed my pride and put up this thread . Just reporting another failing and seeking prayer .

    Pray for Becky , pray for protection and guidance . She has fell in with a bad element . Pray for me in the way you deem important . There are good people here , If I didn't care , respect or believe you were I dang sure would not have posted . Me and her got trouble .

    Thank you .
    Charlie
    No turning back , No turning back !

  2. #2
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    Prayer sent for you brother.

    I really have no words of wisdom for you other than to tell you to look to GOD for the strength to make it through this time of trial...keep the faith.

  3. #3
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    Preacher Jim's Avatar
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    One pair of jeans knees worn out, Charlie you of all my friends know the truth. Now you tell us you are running from Him. Praying harder for both of you
    Love in Christ's name

  4. #4
    Boolit Grand Master
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    Very sad to hear of your troubles Charlie. Please do not beat yourself up. You can only fail in the eyes of God and you can only find comfort in your faith. Liquor will only give your troubles swimming lessons....it will not drown them.
    Don Verna


  5. #5
    Boolit Master

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    Praying Charlie.
    "My main ambition in life is to be on the devil's most wanted list."
    Leonard Ravenhill

  6. #6
    Boolit Master Pine Baron's Avatar
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    Charlie, my dear friend and brother. Please stop, just stop, get out of your head and get your feet on the ground. There are many times, and this is one of them, when you should narrow your focus, concentrate on the moment, do what needs to get done. Let go all that is out of your control. Time to walk the walk, give it to God. You KNOW this. Go in Peace and trust in God's plan.
    I love you brother,
    Ted
    Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

  7. #7
    In Remembrance / Boolit Grand Master Boaz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preacher Jim View Post
    One pair of jeans knees worn out, Charlie you of all my friends know the truth. Now you tell us you are running from Him. Praying harder for both of you
    Love in Christ's name
    Jim I ain't running from him , he is there for me . I'm running from myself . My faith in GOD is strong but I have layed it aside to avoid pain . I need to do what needs be done but I haven't figured out what that is exactly . Complicated and hard . I'll get it figured out , I know I can't keep going down this road . I need to reconcile , own up that I cannot on my own 'fix' it . Got to lay it down and put it in his hands . Dang hard to deal with . Being who I am I am being required to let it go ...give it to him when I love her so much and want to 'fix' it .

    I understand Jim , I agree ...it's hard but what I'm doing won't get it done . Your right and knew that already . Avoidance is what I'm doing .
    No turning back , No turning back !

  8. #8
    Boolit Master



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    God is in control - Let him be. Turn over to Him what you can't do anything about. Praying for you
    Being human is not for sissies.

  9. #9
    Boolit Master
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    You failed???? BS!!!! this ain't about you!!! This is about Becky. She is struggling with what the lord has put in front of her. She knows what to do (you taught her/ showed her) she dosen't want to do it, it's hard its scarry and it hurts.

    Now you need to get back to what the lord has for you.

    I was Becky 35 years ago. scared hurting filled with pride acting out,I knew better then everyone. All this was my failing!!!! my folks did right by me. None of this was their fault. The lord put me on a path. a path that has lead me to where I am today. It's not how the lord wanted me to get here for sure but he was there every step of the way.

    I know none of this is going to do any good. You know all this already I'm betting you have gave this same advice. Get back to work.
    when the dust settles and the smoke clears all that matters is I hear the words " well done my good and faithfully servant "

    <(*)(()><

  10. #10
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    I understand what your dealing with more than you will ever know. sometimes they have to go their own way to understand life and you just need to make sure you are still around when she comes to her senses.

  11. #11
    Boolit Grand Master GhostHawk's Avatar
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    Charlie face the pain head on brother. In this life problems do not go away if you turn your back on them. They get together and get bigger, meaner.

    Reach down inside and find the strength that I know is there brother.
    Grab aholt of it with both hands. Turn and face your problems head on, eyes wide open.

    Your wife is going to go, but it will happen on her timing not yours.
    Becky if you did your job right will come back. And it may happen sooner than you think, But right now she is in the middle between you and her mom, and she can't deal with it. Too much for her, overloaded what she could carry. So she did what you did to try to lower the pain.

    Do you see that??

    She is old enough that you can not tell her what to do.
    All you can do is love her and try not to drive her away.
    And hope when she can she will come home. But if she is stubborn like you it may take a while.

    As for the alcohol, my grandmother had some choice words on the subject. She said legal drinking age should be 50. That is is wasted on the young, they abuse it, screw up their lives for nothing.

    Once over 55 a single drink every day or 2 is not going to do much harm, may do some good. I have one about once a month, helps get the wrinkles out of my soul and the bark out of my voice.

    You know better brother. You know you do, you know it won't fix anything.

    Turn to the Lord Charlie, fall on your knees and beg for forgiveness. You know it will come. When you do Charlie, surrender. Give it all to the lord. You know you can't manage any of it, its out of your hands. So lay it all at his feet and let him do it for you.

    If you can do that, and stay in his will, you might find the pain slipping away.

    What will be, will be. We can't change that. But how we react to that, the choices we make. That makes a big difference.

    The sooner Becky hears that you have come to terms with this. That you are ok. The sooner she can put a feeler out and see if she can come see you to see for herself.

    But at this point I would not expect her to come home. We all fly out of the nest at some point. Some earlier than others. Once flown coming back to live by others rules and ways becomes most repugnant. Just is not going to fly.

    But if you can show her that you are ok, that you can handle this. She may include you back into your life again.

    Best of luck to you brother. I've been talking to the Lord as I have been talking to you.
    He said he was listening and he will do what he can.

    Love you

  12. #12
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    Charlie listen! Listen to your friends, to the Holy Spirit and stop listening to Satan, who is currently stealing from you and beating you up! The Word promises that if children are "trained up in the way they should go" when they grow old they will not depart from it. Sin is pleasurable for a season and whatever has distracted Becky from her faith has not stolen her salvation. You know the word and I won't preach at you, but I will say again, don't give Satan a foothold in your life. Do you understand friend?
    "Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same......." - Ronald Reagan

    "It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived." - George Patton

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  13. #13
    Boolit Master

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    Charlie, you have to know we are all praying for you.

    I firmly believe the devil attacks those who are doing the Lord's work.

    He doesn't need to go after those who are not a hindrance to his aims, as they are impotent, and offer no threat to his reign. He already has them where he wants them.

    We are Christian soldiers in the Army Of the Lord, and those fighting and doing battle will suffer pain, scars, wounds and loss. We are veterans in the war against the evil one and his forces here on this earth.

    Without Jesus we can do nothing. The Holy Ghost is in us, and will never leave us.
    Maker of Silver Boolits for Werewolf hunting

  14. #14
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    Prayers are on the way

    Charlie, Your in my prayers, Please NEVER GIVE UP.
    Last edited by fivegunner; 04-24-2017 at 09:28 AM. Reason: spelling

  15. #15
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    Charlie, Your friends are steering you straight. We all have our faults .... you are just lucky that you have a bunch of people that care for you and Becky. You raised her right....she is at the age to where she is going to act up and challenge you....but I know you have done right by her. She is suffering from the curse of youth in which they know everything yet they dont know how to solve their problems that surface....Becky is suffering from the problem associated with her mom not to mention worrying that she might develop the safe illness down the road. Throw in the influence her fellow peers are subjecting her to it is no wonder that she has slipped. You can rest assured that Becky knows the Lord....she is just floundering like we all did and still do.

    You friends are praying for Becky and you and you are with friends brother!

    Father, I come to You to ask for help for Brother Charlie and Sister Becky. Each are facing a lot of commotion in their lives. Father please reach out and help Becky to turn back to You. Show her the path that she needs to follow to deal with the illness that her mother is facing as well as dealing with Charlie. Father please come to Charlie to show him the path that he needs to follow to bridge the gap between himself and Becky. Father give them the grace and protection from the evils that are surrounding them and guide them to peace and grace. In Your name I pray. AMEN
    When guns are outlawed only criminals and the government will have them and at that time I will see very little difference in either!

    "Within the covers of the Bible are the answers for all the problems man faces." President Ronald Reagan

    "We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the law breaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is acoutable for his actions." Presdent Ronald Reagan

  16. #16
    In Remembrance / Boolit Grand Master Boaz's Avatar
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    I have many good friends here . I have read all posts probably at least 3 times each . Your prayer , your advice and your caring is truly appreciated . I would not have made this thread if I did not believe that . I thank you .

    I have also received pm's and phone calls , many from one's that do not post here regularly . I thank you .

    Thanking you is not really enough , you have gone out of your way ..you care . Caring is a hard thing to come by these days , it is to be cherished and realized to be a blessing . I have been blessed .

    Many people that do not know my trouble have showed up this last week , many unexpectedly . Buckwheat Paul drove an 800 hundred mile round trip to buy my lunch . Yep it's true , believe it or not....just to buy me lunch . He and Alan lifted me up ...good men . Good men are hard to find . The couple of hours of fellowship gave me a time away from my trouble .

    Lord bless those you have sent , in this Chapel or the many different situations that have occurred . Thank you for giving me support through their love and care . Thank you for giving each a message to convey . Thank you for letting me know I am not alone here . Thank you for giving me real friends . Guide them in their work , guide me in mine . Help us work together Lord to support one another , love one another . Thank you Lord . Amen
    No turning back , No turning back !

  17. #17
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    Charlie, you've been given a lot of staright, good advice. But it is YOU who has to decide whether to take it. Most of us know what we ought to do. The trouble comes when we WANT to do something else, sometimes because we're hurting because things aren't going like we want them to. This is what children do. They just pitch a fit and even hurt themselves when they don't get what they want.

    Becky is going through some very trying times, and maybe she's doing a bit of the same sort of thing. A young girl with a dying Mom has GOT to have a lot swirling around inside her. You can objectify the situation, at least largely. She cannot because of the very different relationship daughters have with their mothers. It's totally different from your relationship with her Mom. Any time a person is going through a real trial, and especially if it tugs at the heartstrings like your situation does, they are VERY prone to just "pitch a fit" and act childish, instead of following the good advice Christ left for us for just this type of situation.

    You've planted some very good seeds in Becky. The young very typically, though, have to learn some lessons on their own. I know it concerns you tremendously, but .... you've got to be an adult here, because she's really incapable of doing that just yet, and ONE of you desperately NEEDS to be the adult. And alcohol is NOT going to make things better, but is very likely to make it worse, because it releases your emotions and stifles your intellect - exactly the opposite of what you and her both need right now.

    And remember the story of the Prodigal Son. When he returned home from squandering his whole inheritance, what did the father do? If Becky returns, and I believe she will, you'd better keep yourself in the shape that will allow you to not run her off again. Be the adult she desperately needs, who'll love her even if she errs. This is what Christ does for us. Why can't you do this with her???? Christ set the example. It may be hard to follow Him sometimes, when all we want to do is just pitch a fit, but that's the VERY time when we need to follow His example MOST!!!!

    Trust in God. He can see her through MUCH more than you ever could! Within your sphere of influence, or beyond it. He's always there. Just love that little girl. Don't ever let her think your love is dependent on doing what you tell her to. That never works with the young today. They have to be LED, and NOT told. You may understand everything you tell her, but she may not, and she's going through some hormonal and other changes in her life that you and I can never understand.

    Give her a break, like Christ has done with all of us. To not do so is to forsake all the the Lord tried so very hard to teach us.

  18. #18
    In Remembrance / Boolit Grand Master Boaz's Avatar
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    .............................................Becky update

    School nurse called me at nine this morning , said she had been in an altercation . One of the people she's running with blindsided her in the hall at school , threw her up against the wall and started pummeling her in the head .

    Becky told them to call me . Took her to the emergency room and spent 5 hours there . They did tests for head trauma , concussion . Said she was probably ok . I have been warning her to stay away from this girl , she ain't right and pure trouble . She ambushed Becky in the hall because Becky unfriended her on Facebook .

    Point is she told them to call me ..she was crying and scared .
    No turning back , No turning back !

  19. #19
    Boolit Master sawinredneck's Avatar
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    I realize I'm new here, so I'll not interject much.
    I'm not going to say anything about the drinking, I can't.
    Youve only failed at realizing your a good parent, with your hands full! Two years ago we burried my wife's brothers wife from cancer in March. A month later, Good Friday in fact, her dad passed from Alzheimer's, terrible disease, sucks the life out of everyone around them. I understand your stress well as a supporting partner.
    Young kids, girls in particular are a fickle bunch! Had a neighbor get woken at 2am by the police, his 14yo daughter had snuck out and headed for Texas with her "boyfriend", fluke traffic stop caught them. They are strong willed and rebellious at any and everything! I've seen girls snap because they wanted bread, not toast and not talk to parents for two days lol!
    You've failed at nothing, sir, in fact it sounds like you did pretty good if she knew she could count on you in a jam!
    Remember, it's hard on both of you and you can't give her the attention she may think she always needs. Hug her lots, apologize lots, but don't make excuses and put it on her mom, that could drive the wedge deeper.
    Stay strong, you have your hands full.

  20. #20
    Boolit Buddy Hogdaddy's Avatar
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    Praying for you and Becky, May the Lord be with y'all God Bless.
    H/D

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