My Mom isn't afraid of anything...

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Last week, I needed to travel to northern MN to help care for my 88 year old Dad (there are many things he can't do for himself, that my 85 year old Mom attends to), while My Mom had a pacemaker implanted...there were complications that kept her in the hospital longer (6 days), than what would be normal. Greatfully, she is doing very well now.

I wrote to my journal.

While I was up north, earlier this week, I witnessed something I kind of forgot about...

During a moment, when my Dad didn't seemingly need anything for a while, near sunset and the weather was about perfect for Minnesota, I thought, I should be outside enjoying this little slice of heaven. I wonder out to the courtyard patio on the west side of this low income/senior housing complex that mt parents have lived in for the last decade. I thought I'd be alone and able to read the newspaper. I thought wrong.

I soon found out that this is where the smokers hung out. I sat down at the far edge of the patio, leaving the smokers to their smoke. One of them spoke out in a wise crack way (who I later learn, is named Eric), some joke about the chair I was sitting in, was the chair were George pees in. I said, something like, No worries, I've sat in worse. Then his girlfriend? says "Hey, you're Ronae's son, aren't you ...How's she doing". I said yes, and I fill them in on most of the details and continuing on with more details than I should, that has always been one of my major character flaws, every since I was a kid.

She, then said, "Your Mom isn't afraid of anything". I didn't really grasp what she was saying. At that point, I don't know if I said anything or not, but she and the other smokers, there were three others here at that moment, started telling stories of my Mom and her dealing with others at the housing complex ...basically saying she doesn't take "abuse" from anyone, and often steps in when someone else if being treated poorly.

In my experience, the smoking crowd is usually the tough crowd, whether it was back in high school or the several places I've worked. I've never messed with the smokers, they were always the group that took no "abuse" from anyone, without dealing it back in spades. I'm not sure if this is universal, but what I just heard from these people, seemed like quite a large complement to my Mom.

After hearing all this, I recalled a memory I had long forgot. When I was a teenager, but not yet having a drivers license, I took a job with a guy doing blacktop driveway coating jobs. I don't recall exactly how I got connected with him, but it was apparent he likes to hire a young local kid, to help his credibility to sell his service. Now I'm not sure if this fellow deserves the title of "fly-by-night"...But after working a weekend with him and being promised $50 a day, and I'd be paid on Tuesday, then didn't get paid, it sure seemed like it. Well, the following Friday night, this fellow goes to the local bank to cash several checks through the bank's drive through. Mom was at the helm. She asked if he was the fellow that hired her son, Jon. He said yeah, and Mom shorted him $100 (risking her job mind you), and tells him something like, 'thanks for hiring Jon for that weekend and paying him so well'. I was told he didn't put up much fuss.

Then, when I was about to leave town on Wednesday, Dad said to Mom, something about the laundry service that is offered here at the complex. I should now point out, because of the pacemaker my Mom had implanted, the hospital put a double sling to hold her left arm from being moved in such a way that could pull the wires out of her heart, and that sling needs to stay on 24/7 til the next Dr appt. The sling would make it difficult to do laundry, as I believe the machines are stacked, and putting clothes in/or taking them out of the top machine would be tough for my short Mom. So after Dad's suggestion, Mom got a 'gleem' in her eye and snapped back something like, those bloodsuckers get $20 a load, I'm not gonna pay them that for something I can do for $1.25. Now while my parents are thrifty, I don't believe that was what this was about, because my Mom rarely gets "this type" of excited over saving a few bucks, I think she holds some animosity toward those who overly benefit from those who are in a situation who just can't do for themselves.

Yep, Mom isn't afraid of anything.

[pjames32]

Great story. Reminds me of my late Mom, a Dane from Iowa.
PJ

[bullet maker 57]

Great story. My maternal grandparents were both like that.

[KYCaster]

Boz330, if you see this, tell them about giving my 92 YO mom a ride in a hot air balloon.

Jerry

[jeepyj]

Enjoyable read, unfortunately it seems as though we're seeing less of the no guff, old school hard workers now-a-days. My work is In public housing and we still get a few now and again. Sometimes I'll take a little break to chat and its quite interesting what I learn. Hope your folks fair well!
jeepyj

[Pipefitter]

Reminds me of a story told to me by my (Belgian) grandmother. It seems that when the Germans advanced through Belgium in WW1 a platoon showed up at the farm and confiscated the family cow to feed the troops. Later when the Germans were retreating through the same area two soldiers knocked on the door begging for food. Great-grandma, armed with a meat cleaver, ran them off yelling at them "There isn't enough food to feed the kids, let alone you two". (I still have great grandma's meat cleaver in my possession to this day.)

[TXGunNut]

My mom wouldn't let the nursing home do her laundry either, didn't have any qualms about "letting" me do it. Folks like your mom cling to every bit of independence they can, probably has little to do with the money. Still have a clean load of laundry that never made it back, I'll deal with it another day. Cherish that scrappy mom of yours while you can.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

I wasn't sure where to post this, But since I love to unearth old posts, I found this one suitable.

Just to bring anyone, who may not know, up to speed. My Dad passed in 2016. My Mom struggled a bit after her spouse of 70 yrs was gone...But she persevered. Then about 18 months ago, she fell and broke her hip and shoulder socket. After lots of therapy in a nursing home/rehab, she was able to return to her apartment about a year ago. While she had trouble doing many things, including driving, she persevered.

Now the story.
During this last year, My Uncle (Mom's Brother) and my aunt and myself would visit Mom every other weekend...it's a long drive (3 hours one way), otherwise we would have visited more often. It was about May, this year, when she decided it was time to think about assisted living. My uncle suggested that she move in with them. She wasn't sure if that was the best thing...we all had discussions about this, all summer long.

There was a practice visit, with my Mom staying with them. Mostly it went well, but my Mom, who always disliked traveling, didn't like the long drive to my Uncles house, then only to return home to her apartment a couple days later. More discussions occurred. She was on the waiting list to a assisted living place in Glencoe, they call whenever there is an opening (about once every couple months). There were always discussions after those calls.

Well, about 6 weeks ago, a decision was made, she would move into my uncles house on Oct 5th. The two visits in Sept included packing up some stuff and bring it to my uncles house. The big move came on the 5th, all went well. But there was still a lot of stuff to deal with, My whole family are packrats (myself included). We boxed up many things for donation...as well as most of her furniture. A church/charity organization was to pick everything yesterday, I was to coordinate. They only took half of the boxes, but did take all the furniture. I had to scramble yesterday to giveaway, recycle, and fill the apartment building's dumpster...I will likely have to pay for a unscheduled trash pickup? The giveaway part was a blessing and a strange story for another time (thank you "Marbles").

Anyway, I sure did a lot of driving...I didn't mind the clean out and clean up of the apartment, but it sure is a lot more taxing when those days are scattered and include 6 hours of car travel...thank God it was only a few days. Late in the day, yesterday, we had a successful walk through with the apartment manager (except for a unknown mold stain in the carpet that was under a chair/recliner). They will have to replace the carpet, I hope my Mom doesn't have to pay for that? But the move is now history, and Mom lives is much closer to me, so I can visit more often. So far she is comfortable with the move and is enjoying living with my Uncle and Aunt.

[MrWolf]

Glad it is working out for you and your Mom. Cherish every minute. Wish I could see mine again even for a moment besides in my dreams.

[LUBEDUDE]

Glad you got things worked out with your Mom. That must be a heavy burden lifted off of you.

I’m glad you revived this thread, otherwise I would not have got to read that good first story about your Mom. It reminded me of a story about my departed father and I may post it in a new thread.

[Smoke4320]

I did That deal (moving mom after dads death) last year It took over 4 months and many many trips to get her moved, things settled and new stuff in new place
mine is a 3 hr one way trip as well. put several thousand miles on the car those months. Sure glad its over..
Hope your mother settles in well

[wch]

Many years ago my mother and father were living at an Army post where my dad was provost marshall.
Mom went to the commissary to shop and while she was there the patrons were told that they had to finish shopping and vacate the premises. My mom asked the manager what was going on and he told her that the post commanders wife was coming to shop and she insisted that she, the post commander's wife, be the only customer in the store while she was there.
Mom met the general's wife outside the door of the place when she arrived and told Mrs General that not only was she in violation of regulations she was also in violation of common courtesy and that the Secretary of the Army was going to hear from my mother about Mrs General's exclusionary habit.
He did, and that was the end of that; the personnel were free to shop when they wished and the general and his wife retired shortly after.
My mom wasn't afraid of anything.

[LUBEDUDE]

Many years ago my mother and father were living at an Army post where my dad was provost marshall.
Mom went to the commissary to shop and while she was there the patrons were told that they had to finish shopping and vacate the premises. My mom asked the manager what was going on and he told her that the post commanders wife was coming to shop and she insisted that she, the post commander's wife, be the only customer in the store while she was there.
Mom met the general's wife outside the door of the place when she arrived and told Mrs General that not only was she in violation of regulations she was also in violation of common courtesy and that the Secretary of the Army was going to hear from my mother about Mrs General's exclusionary habit.
He did, and that was the end of that; the personnel were free to shop when they wished and the general and his wife retired shortly after.
My mom wasn't afraid of anything.

Is that when you began to salute your mom?

[wch]

Is that when you began to salute your mom?

I think that began right afterwards!

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

Many years ago my mother and father were living at an Army post where my dad was provost marshall.
Mom went to the commissary to shop and while she was there the patrons were told that they had to finish shopping and vacate the premises. My mom asked the manager what was going on and he told her that the post commanders wife was coming to shop and she insisted that she, the post commander's wife, be the only customer in the store while she was there.
Mom met the general's wife outside the door of the place when she arrived and told Mrs General that not only was she in violation of regulations she was also in violation of common courtesy and that the Secretary of the Army was going to hear from my mother about Mrs General's exclusionary habit.
He did, and that was the end of that; the personnel were free to shop when they wished and the general and his wife retired shortly after.
My mom wasn't afraid of anything.

Now that is an excellent story...I salute your Mom.