Me? I think I'd be a PTR 91.
Here's why:
It's robust and solid, but not going to win any beauty contests.
Designed in Germany but made in America, just like me.
Powerful, but not magnum level.
A true original design, just like I strive to be.
It can feel a variety of rolls, from sniper rifle to SAW with the right accessories.
Not overly high priced, but not hardly cheap either.
Time tested in a variety of situations, similar to my life.
Easily identifiable and visually distinctive.
Can be fed a variety of diet and still keep running.
Would be extremely handy in a zombie apocalypse.
What would you be?