Redneck Security System

[chuckbuster]

My sister sent this to me, looks like it would work pretty well to me. Apologies if it has circulated before.
Kevin

REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:
1. Buy a pair of size 14-16 work boots.
2. Put them on front porch with a copy of Guns & Ammo.
3. Put some giant dog dishes next to boots & magazines.
4. Leave note on your door: "Bubba: Me & Bertha went for more ammo & beer. Back soon. Don't mess with the dawgs; they messed the mailman up bad this morning. I don't think Killer took part; hard to tell from all the blood. I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back. Cooter

[Charlie Two Tracks]

That ought to work! I don't think I'd be going in there.

[colt 357]

Now that is funny I dont care who you are.

[JeffinNZ]

The major flaw is the assumption a would be burglar can read.

[leftiye]

Shucks, Wonder if that will occur to the burglar later? ("errr duh, wonder what that note said.")

Buster, I thought maybe you were referring to my rottweiller "hillbilly."

[coloraydo]

Around here it would have to be posted in spanish to assure would be burglars could read it

[mongo]

Number 4 , the letter was funny. 1-3, seems like I just saw that somewheres, yup, Just let the dog in, He was sleepin on the back poarch next to his big outside water bowl, Next to my rockin chair where there is a pair of size 15 work boots and a pile of American Rifleman magazines, and my QT. size coffee cup LOL...Tommy

[plmitch]

Around here it would have to be posted in spanish to assure would be burglars could read it

I hear ya, around here it would also have to be in Mandarin, Fārsi and Tagalog.

[stubshaft]

I always liked this one too.

[GREENCOUNTYPETE]

i have used size 14EEEE work boots i am willing to sell cheap, I am ready for a new pair

i wear them , they have very little porch use. we leave the dog on the porch not the boots he gets the hole yard it is fenced all around the house.

[Freightman]

Shoot there is a teen at church that wears a size 18 and don't even shave yet.

[chuckbuster]

Shoot there is a teen at church that wears a size 18 and don't even shave yet.

Is that a real size 18 or a TEXAS 18?

[Chicken Thief]

No burglar system, but an advanced firealarm with butter smell

[GREENCOUNTYPETE]

Shoot there is a teen at church that wears a size 18 and don't even shave yet.

i don't shave either , just chop the beard down a few times year to keep it manageable.

What brand does he wear i was up to 16's in Nike when i was in school but Nike and Adidas like to size things small and narrow

my boots were a size 14 since i was 14

my mother-in -law was giving me a hard time the other day because the kids were drinking coffee , she said it will stunt their growth , i said then pour them another cup and with some luck maybe they will only be size 12 shoe and 6feet tall and save me and them a fortune in shoes and cloths.

[hiram1]

i have a lot of fun with the rednecks here in arkansas