walltube
09-12-2006, 02:06 PM
THIS IS A NONPARTISAN JOKE THAT MAY BE
ENJOYED BY ALL POLITICAL PERSUASIONS.
To not offend anyone's favorite Senator, I've tried to be politically correct. :wink:
While walking down the street one day a U.S. Senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in Heaven and is greeted by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "But, it seems there is a problem. We seldom get a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do
is have you spend one day in hell and one in Heaven. Then you
can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," demands the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we do have our rules."
With that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator; down, down, down the senator goes into hell. The elevator doors open and he finds himself in the midst of a well manicured golf course. Nearby is the clubhouse and gathered in front are all his former friends and other politicians who had once worked with him.
All seem very happy and are in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce of the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
and champagne.
Here too is the devil, a very friendly guy also having a good time laughing and telling jokes. Having such a fine time as he is, that before the senator realises it, he must go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves as the elevator
rises...
Up, up, up the elevator goes and the door reopens at The Gates where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit a bit of Heaven."
24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls floating from cloud to cloud playing an Irish harp, Appalachain dulcimer and singing. They have a good time and before he takes notice, the 24 hours have elapsed.
"Well now, you've spent a day in hell and another in Heaven. Choose your eternity." says St. Peter
The senator reflects for a moment, then answers: "Well, I would never have said this before now, I mean, Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
That said, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and the senator descends to hell.
As the doors of the elevator open he views a barren land covered with waste and fetid garbage.
He sees all his friends dressed in filthy rags, picking up the garbage and
stuffing it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts an arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand", stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here
and there was a golf course and a clubhouse, and we ate lobster and
caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now
there's just a wasteland full of stinking garbage and my friends look miserable.
What's happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."
Wt.
__________________________________________________ ______________________
ENJOYED BY ALL POLITICAL PERSUASIONS.
To not offend anyone's favorite Senator, I've tried to be politically correct. :wink:
While walking down the street one day a U.S. Senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in Heaven and is greeted by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "But, it seems there is a problem. We seldom get a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do
is have you spend one day in hell and one in Heaven. Then you
can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," demands the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we do have our rules."
With that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator; down, down, down the senator goes into hell. The elevator doors open and he finds himself in the midst of a well manicured golf course. Nearby is the clubhouse and gathered in front are all his former friends and other politicians who had once worked with him.
All seem very happy and are in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce of the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
and champagne.
Here too is the devil, a very friendly guy also having a good time laughing and telling jokes. Having such a fine time as he is, that before the senator realises it, he must go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves as the elevator
rises...
Up, up, up the elevator goes and the door reopens at The Gates where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit a bit of Heaven."
24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls floating from cloud to cloud playing an Irish harp, Appalachain dulcimer and singing. They have a good time and before he takes notice, the 24 hours have elapsed.
"Well now, you've spent a day in hell and another in Heaven. Choose your eternity." says St. Peter
The senator reflects for a moment, then answers: "Well, I would never have said this before now, I mean, Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
That said, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and the senator descends to hell.
As the doors of the elevator open he views a barren land covered with waste and fetid garbage.
He sees all his friends dressed in filthy rags, picking up the garbage and
stuffing it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts an arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand", stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here
and there was a golf course and a clubhouse, and we ate lobster and
caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now
there's just a wasteland full of stinking garbage and my friends look miserable.
What's happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...... Today you voted."
Wt.
__________________________________________________ ______________________