Now this could start some trouble

[gray wolf]

Now you men know I love my wife and she me
So this is not asked in any way shape or form in a bad way ;);)

But there are times I have a little trouble with code--you know trying to understand
the female language.

Example

I saw someone do that outside once-- really means--if you do that in the kitchen I will kill you and your off spring.

Did you know we were a little short this month really means
If you by another reloading thing you sleep outside.

Hey Hun! didn't you go shooting yesterday? really means better stay home today.

Casting again today ? really means--better cut the lawn instead.

Looking for more WW ? I just tripped over two buckets in the shed
really means you got enough.

Why don't they speak English like we do ? any one got any more to add?
lets have some fun with this. How many more can we add?

[Hickory]

Women mean well, they really do.
They have only one fault. They are women.
Learn to over look their short comings.
As they sometimes over look ours.:veryconfu

[3006guns]

I can tell already that you are well on your way to becoming a "married man". Believe me, we had less trouble breaking the Nazi codes in WWII than we do trying to read between the lines of a woman's statement. You are begining to break "the code"![smilie=1:

There are a couple of "downfalls" however..........wait until she asks the dreaded "Do I look fat?" or "Do you think that woman on T.V. is really pretty?"

Watch yourself and think fast..............

[pdawg_shooter]

For years I would ask my wife what she wanted for a gift (Christmas, birthday, whatever) and she would say "nothing". So I would go out and buy her something sh wouldnt use. One year I got her exactly what she said she wanted, nothing. We now buy our own gifts for all occasions.

[montana_charlie]

There are a couple of "downfalls" however..........wait until she asks the dreaded "Do I look fat?" or "Do you think that woman on T.V. is really pretty?"
You can handle most of that if you have spent years convincing your wife that you are a half-wit.

In the specific situations described above, just nod absently and say, "Whatever you say, Dear..."
The more 'absent' you sound, the more she is convinced that you are totally unaware of what just fell out of your mouth.

She will just see it as 'verbal drooling'...

CM

[WILCO]

I don't have that trouble as I'm a lone wolf in a pack of one.

[WILCO]

..........wait until she asks the dreaded "Do I look fat?"

I was once asked that question whilst a former GF was putting on a black dinner dress. I answered "Black is slimming". [smilie=s:

[lavenatti]

My wife once asked me how I though she would look fat.

I said "lonely"

Still thin 20 years later...

[looseprojectile]

is practical.
I broached the subject of investing some of our savings in gold.
She said very practically, "Sell some of your guns and buy gold".
End of conversation!
Women are smart too.
She says that she does not like food. That is just her way to get me to cook nourishing and tasty meals. I have to rescue my steak before she dries it out.
One of her favorite conversation starters is. Do you think we could-----? Or. Do you think you could----? We men have our own ways to avoid having to do what is necessary, like, " Mothers day is coming up, I have to go to town". A guy can also try, How long has it been since you had a new ---?
You gotta love em.

Life is good

[Cactus Farmer]

I've heard two theorys on understanding women,

Neither one works!

[starbits]

wait until she asks the dreaded "Do I look fat?"

Watch yourself and think fast..............


Wife once asked me if a dress made her look fat -

reply: Nope! :bigsmyl2: IT's THE COOKIES!! :bigsmyl2:

Don't get asked that question much any more.

Starbits

[bullshot]

Got that code over with 40 years ago. Answer with a question. The wife came home from the hair dresser and said "What do you think about my hair"? I asked "Did you have to pay for that" No more reading between the lines

[Houndog]

I've tried to decipher that wimmen code talk for 40 years and every time I start to think i'm getting a handle on it they change the rules. I learned the two words that lead to a happy marriage a LOOOONG time ago! Just say "yes dear" and go on and do whatever you wanted to do. They ALL think we're deaf, dumb and half blind, so use it to your advantage!

[leftiye]

Do I look fat? Yes dear. Will you come and see me in der ospital?

[Houndog]

HUMMMMM That's probably one of the situations "yes dear" IS a baaaad answer!




Do I look fat? Yes dear. Will you come and see me in der ospital?

[theperfessor]

Guys, you gotta understand that women in general process data by talking about it, men process data and THEN talk about it. They don't really want an answer from us, they want us to interact with them to help them decide what to do. I learned this from my better half, who has a psychology degree. I find that when I reply to her in a way that "furthers the thought process" by asking her what she thinks or what the outcome of various choices might be then life is a lot smoother for all.

Now if I could just get her to stop analyzing the psychology behind my reasoning process things would be perfect!

[jandbn]

I think our better halves are even smarter that they know they are. Have you ever noticed that when you are deep in thought or are engrossed in conversation with them, out of the blue they will something like "I need a cup of coffee" or "A piece of that pie in the fridge would sure taste good now". And what do we do without even a second thought, we stop what we are doing and go get what ever it is they "suggested" is needed!

[a.squibload]

"Does that woman on the TV look pretty?"

"I didn't notice, I'm reading the Castboolits site over here."

[gray wolf]

Why do they love to ask a question or start a new topic when you are moving from one spot to another ?. Like when you are in transit from the loading bench to the bullet box 5 feet away and trying to hold a thought in your head.

[Wayne Smith]

Guys, you gotta understand that women in general process data by talking about it, men process data and THEN talk about it. They don't really want an answer from us, they want us to interact with them to help them decide what to do. I learned this from my better half, who has a psychology degree. I find that when I reply to her in a way that "furthers the thought process" by asking her what she thinks or what the outcome of various choices might be then life is a lot smoother for all.

Now if I could just get her to stop analyzing the psychology behind my reasoning process things would be perfect!

She's absolutely right about how women process information. I learned this years ago, I married a genius. She would come home from work and start talking about a problem at work (she's a geologist) and I would suggest solutions. She soon told me "I don't need your solutions, (should have been obvious to me!) I just need you to lisen to me."

However, Professor, depending on her degree, I tell people with a BA in Psychology that they barely know enough to get into trouble and nothing about how to get out of it!

[cephas53]

Heard this one at work today. God comes and informs a man that since he has led a good life he will grant him one wish. The man wishes for a bridge from the U.S. to Hawaii. God informs the man he is disappointed as he was hoping he'd ask for something more spiritual to help all mankind. The man says ok, please give men an understanding of women. God says "you want two or four lanes on that bridge"?

[mroliver77]

My ex told me one time to say something nice for a change. I said "you sure dont sweat much for a fat gal." She would say that her clothes were getting too small. I would tell er they had not changed, her rump had grown.
Lets see, I have been divorced like five years now. If I ever come on and say I am buying another gun, praise me. If I tell you I am in love (lust) kick my glutius maximus.
Jay