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waksupi
04-13-2006, 08:23 PM
Subject: Some important information on pipe

1. All pipes are to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or Plastic centered around the hole.

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length. Do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

3. The I.D. (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (outside diameter) otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam, or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5. All pipe is to be supplied without rust, this can be more readily applied at the job site.

6. All pipe over 150 m (50 ft) in length should have the words "Long Pipe" clearly painted on each end, so the Contractor will know it is a long pipe.

7. Pipe over 3 km (2 mi.) in length must also have the words "Long Pipe" painted at the middle, so the Contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe.

8. All pipe over 150 mm (6 in.) in diameter must have the words "Large Pipe" painted on it, so the Contractor will not mistake it for a small pipe.

9. When flanges are used, they must have holes for bolts quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

10. When ordering 90, 45, or 30 degree elbows, be sure to specify right or left hand, otherwise the pipe will end up going the wrong way.

11. Be sure to specify your vendor whether you want level, uphill, or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for uphill use, the contents will flow the wrong way.

12. All couplings should have either right or left hand threads, but do not mix the threads otherwise as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it will unscrew from the other.

redneckdan
04-13-2006, 09:03 PM
i like number 3, but they are all good

MT Gianni
04-13-2006, 11:35 PM
How can you live with yourself giving away all my trade secrets? Also # 12 is not true, there is a left -right coupling to use instead of a union. Still too funny, Gianni.

crazy mark
04-13-2006, 11:55 PM
You forgot the most important quality that it must be Korean, rust thru in less than 1 year and be coated with rancid fish oil.

Bigscot
04-14-2006, 10:29 AM
Is this from some topsecret now de-classified gubment document?

BS

waksupi
04-14-2006, 10:57 PM
Is this from some topsecret now de-classified gubment document?

BS

Just some stuff recovered from top secret plumbers papers. Use with caution and discretion, and you will apppear a true genius to anyone not intimately familiar with pipes.