lost a friend

[45caster]

Hi guys I lost friend monday he ended his own life he had cancer .I was wondering if anybody had any adive on how to deal with this .Thanks

[mold maker]

Don't beat yourself up with "What If' ,and "If I had just". In his mind this was the way to avoid much pain and suffering for both himself, and those around him.
Remember the friendship you had, and the good times you shared.
Time will allow you to forgive him for keeping these last thoughts to himself.
I share your grief, as I also lost a best friend, over 20 years ago, under similar circumstances.
There is still an empty place in my heart, but it is covered with warm and fuzzy memories.

[Boz330]

My condolances and prayers. Ten years ago a very good friend did the same and trust me I had the same thoughts about why didn't he call or get some help. The worst part is that there was no note or explanation for friends or family. At least you have some explanation for your friends actions. It is a tough thing for sure and while the pain lessens with time there is still a hole left and the question what if.

Bob

[handyrandyrc]

My very close cousin hung himself about 10 years ago. It was very difficult for me, and I was only a cousin. His folks still agonize over it from time to time, but they are getting through. Even harder to deal with are the ones who heartlessly claimed 'God will punish him with eternal damnation', I overheard many even at the funeral speaking that way. That was the roughest part for me to deal with. The only person who knows their state of being, and the only judge there is, is God. Time will help. I wrote down some good memories I had with him when we were growing up together, and gave it to his parents. That is one thing that helped me.

[725]

Prayers & condolences. I'm afraid there is no way to make the pain go away. Prayer helps me, but the pain and doubts remain. I, too, have had co-workers / classmates end their lives. Trust in the Lord, think of happier memories, and live a good life.

[JSnover]

My brother in law was sick for years before he died after having wasted away to almost nothing. I told my wife, "He's not suffering any more. Be grateful for that and let him rest."

[WILCO]

I wrote down some good memories I had with him when we were growing up together.

That's some good advice indeed.
Stay strong 45caster.

[JDFuchs]

Don't beat yourself up with "What If' ,and "If I had just".

Follow this advice!!! Look into the future not the past. Never forget your friend but don't let it stop your own life. Try not to do any major life changeing events for a bit, till your recovered some, such as moving or changing jobs.

My mom died in Oct 07, she was only 50. She ended her own life, but not directley. She knew her health was failing but did not go into a Dr. Just letting herself waist away. She was living alone and pushed everyone away so the extent of how bad things were were not known till I found her...

I went over to check on her in the weekend between my two weeks notice at my job in one city Fort Collins as I was starting a new one and moving to Denver an hour south. I may have been able to deal with the stress of my moms death if i were keeping things in the rest of my life stable. But the job i was starting I had to quit 2 weeks into it and took some major time away form work it hit me so hard.

Best of luck to you and everyone of your friends famley and other friends.

[wallenba]

As we get older it happens more frequently than we can expect. Sometimes expected, sometimes suddenly. In the last year my mother passed away expectedly, then my younger brother shortly after unexpectedly. Topped of by the passing of my dog Buddy who just turned 17. It's been hard on us. Just talk to with friends and family. I believe that God gives us life on earth to attain the knowledge we need to see the light after.

[pmeisel]

May he rest in peace, and may you find comfort in more pleasant memories as well.

[45caster]

Thanks guys for caring enough to share your thoughts with me things are getting better everyday again thank you godbless you craig

[Bret4207]

My best friend took his own life when I was about 20. I'm still angry at him, but in the end it was him that made the decision, him that hurt all of us that cared about him and I never saw it coming. There's NOTHING we can do about it now. It's just not in our power. So remember the good times and let him go.

[.357]

he has serious MS and seems to be melting away. I know your friend is now at peace, you be as well. Remember the good times, pray, and know that he isn't in pain.