Reverse of Mrs. Recluse's question

[Reddot]

I just broke up with a guy who was a shooter. Prior to meeting him I didn't meet many qualified (read single, non-smoking, intelligent) men who were shooters or didn't object to the fact that I shoot. So the question to the women on this board is have you run into the same problem?

[sqlbullet]

I have my flame suit on for the following reasons: I am not a woman, but am responding. My response may draw the ire of a some as an attempt to proselyte. To a certain extent, I suppose I am proselyting.

None-the-less, you asked, and I know a place where you are likely to encounter such men. Try your nearest LDS (Mormon) Church. No, they aren't polygamists, despite what you have seen on TV. The media can't portray gun owners accurately, choosing instead to highlight the fringe. Why would their portrayal of Mormon's be any different?

The Bishop (as the leader of the congregation is known) can put you in touch with the 'Singles' group appropriate for your age. There you will have a decent shot at finding an intelligent, non-smoking male who enjoys shooting.

[runfiveswife]

i have not had that problem, i did not shoot much before i married runfiverun,(lamar) did not even hunt much, then he taught me alot of things that i didnt know, and now i go with him as much as possible, love the sport now. i hope you find someone that enjoys the same things as you do.

[Dennis Eugene]

Too Bad for you Girls but I'm already taken. ;>) Dennis

[1Shirt]

We need more lead shooting women, married, or unmarried in the field and on this forum IMNTBH opinion! Need to take wifes and in particular daughters to the range and hunting, and teach them to cast and load. They are part of the future of all shooting sports.
1Shirt!:coffee:

[jdgabbard]

Another Man opinion.

I think like 1Shirt pointed out, I don't think its a lack of men with your "requirements", as much as it is available women in the sport. I personally would love to find a woman who enjoyed doing the things I enjoy doing. The problem with that is most women are just not "hard wired" for doing the type of things most men like to do. SO... It takes a LOT of searching to find the ones that are. Its just like when men and women go to college. The shear numbers of women that go for art and music degrees compared to men is amazingly high in numbers. Thats because most women are not interested in the things that men are, and vise versa.

And as for your requirements of the men, I myself can say it could be hard. As many shooters I know are also smokers. I myself am trying to quit, but working at a night club hinders my efforts. Intelligence is another issue, (read Oklahoma). We're 47th in the nation on education. Though, I do feel that sometimes "hardworking, fun loving, and moral bound good men" can make-up for the difference in intelligence.

Hope I didn't ruffle any feathers as I have a tendency to do.

[Reddot]

In retrospect I probably shouldn't have posted the question. I was feeling saddened that after a long time I met a man who shared my enjoyment of the outdoors and shooting. Unfortunately he was still getting over the death of his wife and wasn't really ready to date. Nice guys are hard to find, and nice guys who aren't taken aback by a woman who shoots are even harded to find. Oh well, onwards and upwards.

[carpetman]

Non Smoker--probably boring. I knew a non smoker that said he sat in the smoking section (when they had such) of airplanes as he could have interesting conversations there. He said the non smokers read and wouldn't talk.

[snaggdit]

I've been happily married for 9 years now (in 5 more days) so never checked it out but I wonder how Match dot com does in matching people based on hobbies and similar thinking? Don't know how you feel about online matchmaking but would probably open up your prospects some. Just a thought.

[Reddot]

What we need is an online dating forum for shooters and outdoor enthusiasts. Cast Boolits should consider this as a sideline.

[felix]

You will find shooters who happen to be in the upper echelons in terms of the arts and education are in the skeet, trap, and sporting clays arena. Join a club and see what's going on with the singles there. Most will be married as you would expect, but you never know who's loose and fancy free. Rifle/pistol shooters tend to be in the mechanical trades. ... felix

[mtnman31]

I shoot, don't smoke, and I like to think I am intelligent. I want to say I am a good looking fella as well, but you be the judge. Look up the photo under my profile (not the avatar) 8-)

[Springfield]

What you need to do is what most of us guys have had to do including myself. Find a nice, intelligent, non smoking, outdoor oriented male(for you, female for us) who is openminded and likes to try new things, and get him into the sport yourself. My wife had never shot before I met her. And never went camping, backpacking, water skiing. I even taught her to ride and then own her own motorcycle. Most guys like shooting after trying it, but it can be difficult to start on your own. It is the intelligent, open minded part that is difficult. After that it is all easy.

[Hang Fire]

LOL. As a male I have a problem with my wife about guns, she wants to buy too many. Yesterday I had to talk her out of buying a CZ-52 because it was over priced.

[HeavyMetal]

Reddot:
I won't try to defend the "ex" If he was getting over the loss of a spouse it was his call to make if he was ready to date or not. Sounds like he made the wrong call.

I have been there and done that, recently. I also have not re-entered the dating field as I'm not sure I want to deal with the "drama".

However I am keeping an open mind and while certainly ready to date again, just haven't found anyone my age ( 57) that isn't already attached.

Had a friend that went the match maker computer route. He was "disappointed" in the match's he got.

So I'll suggest to you exactly what I'm doing: hang tough, don't settle and keep an open mind.

[1Shirt]

Red Dot,
Have to disagree with some here regarding intellect, the arts, etc. I am a potter, a ceramic artist, a painter in water colors, love the theater, and have been a professional musician. I have not smoked in over 15 years. I am a college grad, and career military USMC & USAF. :coffeecom I have hunted in over 15 states, Alaska included, and also Africa. I don't think I am alone, but might be on over aged minority. Lots of real good folds on this and other shooting webs that might be of interest to you. Hang tough kid, there is a casting, shooting, hunting guy out there someplace just for you! Pick wisely!
1Shirt!

[No_1]

Miss Reddot,

Finding the perfect mate is everyone's dream but one that is rarely met. We tend to have very high standards for that "perfect one" that are hard to fill. I personally believe that finding the one who matches a large majority of the items on the "perfect mate list" is about the best one can hope to do. Face it, not everyone likes the exact same things, not even identical twins so how can we expect a total stranger to meet all the criteria?

On the bright side, you may have found your mate in the widower even though he is not ready to date. I suggest you try to become good friends with him. Meet for shooting and maybe lunch later. Go to gun shows together. Reload together. These are all things that "pals" do together, why should it be any different just because you are of the opposite sex and It should be just as much fun. Who knows, maybe it will blossom for the two of you. Worst thing that could happen is you gain a life long friend who likes to do the things you like to do.

In closing, keep your head up and smile because you are alive / doing the things that make you happy. One day you will look up and your prince charming will be standing right in front of you smiling back. When that day comes you will know your life is the perfect 10X!

Just remember this: Almost every successful relationship is built on strong foundation of friendship.


Take care my sister,

Robert



In retrospect I probably shouldn't have posted the question. I was feeling saddened that after a long time I met a man who shared my enjoyment of the outdoors and shooting. Unfortunately he was still getting over the death of his wife and wasn't really ready to date. Nice guys are hard to find, and nice guys who aren't taken aback by a woman who shoots are even harded to find. Oh well, onwards and upwards.

[docone31]

RedDot, I know of your issues.
I am on wife #6. She is the keeper. It took me long enough to be in the right place at the right time. Each one took a very large chunk.
I seriously wonder if you will find a match in what you are looking for. I have wondered that myself, looking at range people. I would not do well with any of them, even casually. I cannot tell you how fortunate I am to have met my wife. I mean, she is by my side day and night. She was not a shooter when we met, not at least in what I mean by shooter. She had purchased a pistol for self protection, gotten a permit, and when we met, I cleaned it for her.
My wife, has other interests aside from shooting. She makes time for me and my desires in shooting, and enjoys it when we go. She relies on me for information. She went from being able to pull the trigger with the barrel faceing the target, to grouping at 100yds.
She has watched me paper patch, reload of course, install reciever sights, build from scratch. She even puts up with me doing it in the living room!
I doubt, if anything ever happened to her, I would ever find someone that might begin to start to fill the shoes she wears.
It is hard to find someone. Easy to find the wrong one. I have lots of experience at that. Someone who will walk with you, being your conscience, seeing what you missed, and just plain calling you an ******* when you need it, that is another issue.
Being a Pastor, I do believe in prayer.
It took me a long time to try it for my wife.
It took time, but, if it had been easy, I would have turned away anyway.
Perhaps that will work for you.

[l-weinrich]

You just never know who might be a shooter, my brother is an engineer, I taught school, my brother in law is Dr Roy Spencer he has testified in congress about global warming, he did the original study for NASA and is convinced it is a natural occurence. My daughter is a doctor and she used to shoot with me on a pistol team while going to college, she likes to pull her trophies out when people start to bad mouth "people with guns" very entertaining! Keep looking you never know who might be a shooter.

[dakotashooter2]

I am on wife #6. :brokenima Some are slow learners.


I thought most men were intrigued by women who shoot!!!!! Maybe thats just rednecks. Hard to believe someone won't "give you a shot":roll:.


Actually I think "the perfect match' is why there is such a big problem in todays society. EVERYONE is looking for the perfect match. It's a myth. Doesn't exist. Many get close but thats not enough so they just keep moving on.

[Onlymenotu]

RedDot, My wife and I have been married 12 years end of this month, She shot and hunted with me a little in the begining then came along the kids and she sorta lost intrest in it as the kids begain to growup and I started get'n them into shooting my wife has a renewed intrest in it now.. as said before go shoot as you enjoy it.. have fun with it... join a club and shoot with them and enjoy yourself you'll find yourself amoung people of the same intrest...... from there you just have to weed out the bad ones and besides if someone can not except you for who u are* and what you enjoy doing*....... then they are most likely not the person for you

keep shooting....I would love to see more woman in the sport... there are plenty of other men out there that wish they could find a woman to enjoy they're hobby with them..... chin up

[shdwlkr]

Reddot
Hang in there with your friend and work at being a real friend and just let things happen and don't push anything.
I can tell you that because that is what my wife did when she first found me. Yes I was done with the opposite sex because of the nasty divorce I had just gone through and I lost all my firearms in that deal.
My first wife was murdered and I remarried to soon and got just what many told me would happen it just took 20 years. She was a real gold digger and I missed it big time.
I totally understand where you friend is, I wished there had been someone like you to hang out with and just get to know that all women are not gold diggers. Do things together and respect each others space at times as you are going to do things that bring back some memories that will be hard for him to deal with my current wife still has to let me be by myself and me her but we do more together and enjoy each other most of the time.
Good men and good women they are getting harder to find and even harder to hang onto because of fear of being hurt again.
As to where to look try your church or you could try the Mormons as they don't smoke or drink for the most part and they do try and be honest upstanding citizens and work hard at it.
My wife's daughter who is married and has a house full of kids is waiting for me to get enough time to go up and teach her how to shoot and her husband is a LEO and he told her to go call dad and ask him to come up and teach you. He has bought the ammo and is going to let us use his pistols but just won't take his own wife out. I really understand and am very proud that he asked his wife to call their common dad to come and help out. Yea his family has walked away from him and I am dad to both of them. Kind of nice kind of scary as now I have two more kids to be watchful for and yes I do help everytime I can. Price is a thankyou and that is all they are allowed by me, couldn't handle more as dad's are to help their kids and that is all there is to it.
Reddot
your guy sounds like a person that could be a real friend and that might be a good place to start and learn each other. Ask questions and have questions asked of you and be honest in your answers and your questions. There are some things in each of your pasts that is no bodys business so leave it there in the past until it is time to discuss it.
If this marriage fails at my age I most likely will stay single and move into the mountains to be with my animals and away from people. YOU see this marriage is that good and I don't think I could ever find someone who could be this good to me but life is full of surprises and I just hope that you find some one and I never have to again.Keep in touch here and let things happen as they do.

[DLCTEX]

My #4 son met his wife on a hunting chat forum. They chatted for about a year bfore meeting in person. They have moved home and are expectin my grandson in October. #3 married a girl who was a fisherperson and now is a hunter, including bow hunting. #1 has a significant other who has sons who hunt, but she likes to fish, #2 is single and will probably continue to hunt that way.but you never can tell. #5 is 18 and is a handfull for a 64 year old (almost) dad. So there are two single guys 42 and 18 who fit the bill, girls.

[Reddot]

I shoot, don't smoke, and I like to think I am intelligent. I want to say I am a good looking fella as well, but you be the judge. Look up the photo under my profile (not the avatar) 8-)

:groner: Mtnman31 in most cases looks don't count but in your case they do. ROFLMSS (Rolling on the floor laughing myself silly). Like I said it is hard to meet good guys. I'm going to need therapy after that.

[leadman]

Reddot, my wife and I will be married 39 years in August. We married when basically kids at 18 years old. She does not shoot at all and has only gone hunting with me a couple of times. We do fish, travel, and camp together. She is a crafter and dollmaker and I only get involved in constructing some of the frames for her items.
Shooting, casting and reloading are a big part of my life and she is welcome if she ever wants to join me, but it is not necessary for her to do so for us to be happy.
As long as your partner understands and is willing to let you do things that he does not participate in and trusts you a relationship can flourish. My wife is not resentful of the time I take for my hobbies and I am not of the time she takes.
Just make sure there are things you both can do together and are happy doing.

[runfiverun]

Leeann i am probably the last one to give advice to anyone about finding someone else.
just go do what makes you happy if you find someone else who makes you happy fine they don't gotta hold your hand 24/7.
doing things together is cool. but getting back together after doing your own thing is fine too.
they don't wanna go? .k. the car is still gonna start,if theyre in it when it leaves i guess theyre goin too if they ain't then they are either goin somewhere else,,, or not...whatever.

[jdgabbard]

I'm going to need therapy after that.

Thats what I said first time I saw his pic too. :shock:

[troy_mclure]

im a single, non smokin, shooter. lol
got to leave out the intelligent, and good lookin part! lol

i prefer the single life myself, but its not for everyone.

you could always be a cougar! lol

[mainiac]

You will find shooters who happen to be in the upper echelons in terms of the arts and education are in the skeet, trap, and sporting clays arena. Join a club and see what's going on with the singles there. Most will be married as you would expect, but you never know who's loose and fancy free. Rifle/pistol shooters tend to be in the mechanical trades. ... felix

Felix, you cant amagin how i chuckled over this one! A few years back,i got into skeet shooting real big. Started going to the nearest skeet club(about 60 miles away). I felt so out of place that i never could get myself to shoot a round with them guys.Im sure they were really good people, but i could tell they was very well-to-do, and had better guns,better clothes,better cars,and better language/manners then me. Im just a dumb pipefitter/welder, and like all my worn out junk,getting dirty,and swearing and cussing just fine! I chew skoal,drink beer,and drive gmc,and shoot 1100 rems, instead of smoking 10 cigars,sipping wine,driving mercedes,and shooting kreigoff,s!!!! Pedigree people must be the same down there as they are up here!!! BTW, sorry for hi-jacking the thread mam, couldnt help myself!

[geargnasher]

RedDot, The only thing I can say is don't single a person out based on preconceived notions, don't think the honcho of your dreams HAS to even own a gun. At the end of the day you need a man whot compliments your personality, not your hobbies.

Gear

[Sprue]

Well Reddot, since you can't find a soul mate, one that enjoys the same things in life as you, I hope that you DO have a girl friend (or male friend for that matter) that does have a hunger for the hobby such as you/us.

I know that I would not get as much enjoyment from the hobby if it were not for my fanatic shooting buddies. Its always an adventure here as we're always into something. Never a dull moment over the weekends.

I do hope that you have someone to share the silver stream arena with. If not, maybe join a gun club or a different shooting venue even, as already sugggested. If you don't have one already, buy digital camera and flood the CB Forum with pictures (like I do) and share them with us. Its fun to act like a kid and escape our ever demanding & trying world, if only momentarily.

But should you be at it all alone...... you do have us! You know what kind of good people we have here as I'm sure you've been reading the most recent of posts displaying goodwill & concern for members amongst us.

My wife showed a little interest on one occasion but thats about the extent of it. I do consider myself lucky to have a couple close friends to add to the pot & share the disease.

FWIW... we're all smokeless here to.
Best Wishes

[windrider919]

I am just what you described and much more. Women say they want a caring, sharing, compassionate, intelligent and most of all funny man. One who is strong enough to be able to show his emotions without being weak. But just try being one. I watch what appear to be good or nice women ignore the nice guys time after time and run after the 'macho, mind game playing, user' types. I have been single since 1989 and Yes, I am a little bitter because, except for being overweight I fit the profiles of 'What women say they want' exactly. But what they say and what they do are very different things. What I do see is that both sexes are looking for "the perfect love match' and will not 'settle' for anything else. I might as well be invisible. Too many romance novels and movies lead to false expectations is my opinion. I stopped looking and even though I sometimes wake up in the night reaching out for that missing person beside me I don't need a woman to be happy like I used to think. I especially got tired of ignorant people telling me that "If you will just stop looking the right one for you will come along." Well, I stopped looking and guess what. I finally learned to be happy on my own. My advice, just make friends and Carpe Diem [Seize the day]{kind of like that movie 'Yes Man'}. Just live and try to make yourself happy, and you don't need a man to make you happy either!