Need some prayers and thoughts

[country gent]

Hello friends and gentleman, A wonderful new year to yo you all,

I would ask for you prayers for me and my oldest daughter. The last 5-6 months she's called needing help ( money). Today she called again wanting rent money again. I just cant keep handing cash over to her. She's had drug problems in the past, run ins with the law ( always circumstances or someone else's fault) and scams. I've always helped her out in the past, When I was working it wasn't bad as overtime was almost always available. Now medically retired I don't have that option to continue supporting her. I'm not sure if she's back to the drugs or what but I guess I feel I'm being "played" again. I feel as long as I keep handing out shell keep taking, and not change. I'm really down having to tell her no and now sitting her hoping its the right thing. I've just been told so many "stories" over the years I just cant buy them any more.

I Thank-you for your prayers and any thoughts. Its just a hard day for me

[jcren]

Prayers sent. You are not alone brother

[bikerbeans]

country gent,

If you think she is back into drugs then giving her more money will make her problem worse. You are right to put yourself first, letting her bankrupt you will not help either of you.

Even though she is your daughter you need to consider how she will respond to being cutoff financially. When drugs are involved anything is possible. She and her friends may resort to theft, violence or worse. You need to be ready to defend yourself.

My prayers for you.

Tom

[mattw]

Sending prayers and wishing you both the best of luck. If drugs are once again the problem, throwing cash at the problem is just enabling the problem. Pay the rent for her, now she can scrounge cash for the next fix. It is a vicious cycle, but the user has to decide it is time to quit. You can't decide that for her...

Take care!

[Maven]

You'll be in my thoughts, cg!

[gpidaho]

A very hard place to be. Always hard to cut off the one's we love. Hoping the best outcome for you both. Gp

[ShooterAZ]

CG, we were in the same boat for many, many years with one of the wife's daughters from a previous marriage. She fell completely off the face of the earth for a lot of years. I told the wife years ago to not send her any more money, because it would just go to her drug habit. I searched for her online, and I found arrest records where she'd been in and out of jail numerous times for drug possession. We were fully expecting the worst for her when we finally heard from her this Christmas Day saying that she has been sober for a year now. Moral of this story is to never give up hope for her. They usually need to hit hard rock bottom before they decide to get cleaned up and sober. Prayers sent.

[toallmy]

I pray all goes well for your loved one .

[BigAlofPa.]

You got it.

[Preacher Jim]

Country Gent biker beans gave you correct advise. That said you are enabling her if you give her money, tough love says stop. Be there to help her find a treatment facility but not to supply her habit. A drug user will turn into many things that break your heart but I will be praying she will look up and turn from the drugs but she has to want to forced rehab hardly ever works.
The Lord give you strength to say no more.

[RichardF]

I agree with the men that have responded to your request for prayer and I too will be praying for you. AlAnon has been a very helpful source of support and encouragement to me from men and women who have or are currently walking through these or very similar circumstances.

[xs11jack]

Will be praying for the Lord to take care of her and you too.
Ole Jack

[GhostHawk]

Prayer is sent.

Agree with biker beans cut her off.

I was lucky, my step daughter had a session where we went through the same thing but it was gambling, texas hold em. After she stole my wifes credit card, ran up a 300$ bill I told her until she licked her problem she was not welcome in the house.

We would gladly meet her elsewhere anywhere, any time to talk, give a ride.
But we were not going to support her habit. And if she tried, next time we were calling the cops. Something in that got through to her.

She turned her life around, got married, is raising a 6 yr old boy with some special needs, a 5 year old girl and a 30+ year old husband who is in many respects at about the same level as the 6 yr old boy.

Currently she is working 2-3 jobs to make ends meet. Is a LPN, passed her nurses schooling with flying colors. And we are incredibly proud of her.

But it is not easy, no part of it is easy.

TALK to her. Get her help. Get her to wake up and see what she is doing.
Do what you can, but give her no money, no easy ways out. Teach her if you can to Knuckle down, buckle down and do the work.

It can be done. Leave your burdens with the Lord. Listen for his words of wisdom.
Best of luck to you.

Ohh and Katie kid, proud of you girl, you grew up, you did good.

[LUBEDUDE]

CG, so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. I’ve been through it and am still going through it. I’ve had successes and I’ve had failures with my daughter. I’ve made good decisions and bad. We have had a lot of long talks and she let me see behind the curtain and how an addict thinks and how all consuming the drugs are. There are positive avenues to take, but I learned that punishment is not one of them.

There is just way too much to type. If you need someone to just listen and or share experiences and or advice, PM me for my phone number. I’d be honored to help a fellow parent get through this destructive situation.

Prayers up, God Bless

[lightman]

Thats a tough situation to be in and you and her have my prayers. I agree with the others, cutting her off is the best thing to do. You can be there for her in other ways besides financial. I also agree with the poster that suggested to beware of theft or other violence. Take care, my Friend.

[dlbarr]

Prayers for you & your daughter. Sorry for this trouble she's causing you & herself. Just know that God is your Father and He's looking out for you (& your daughter). We are praying for you both.

[Dieselhorses]

Prayers from here! I have a stepdaughter who is fixing to make 25 this coming April. Only been out on her own for a few months (living with boyfriend). He works-she don't. Must have had 30+ interviews in 2018 and cannot hold a job. Can only be on her mom's insurance until 26. My point is, is that that there is a very thin line between "parental love" & "tough love". Sometimes young people have to hit bottom before they wake up. I know this sounds harsh but at the end of the day, how will one learn from mistakes if they are enabled (so to speak). Believe me I know it is difficult as I raised 3 boys! Please forgive me if any of this sounds too critical here. Just remember God is BIGGER than any problems we have!

[blackthorn]

Kids grow up. They make choices, some make good choices and some make bad. Once you have provided them with (at least) the opportunity to get a decent education the choice of future life-style is up to them. I have two boys (now in their fifties), one has a good life, wife (no kids), good job with good pay yada yada---the other boy, not so much. The second boy chose to live a marginal life-style, smokes pot, don't work very often and is just a short step from living under a bridge. I love them both! They are, however both on their own. They get gifts at Christmas and on their birthday, and if one of them gets his tail in a crack I have been known to help out a bit, but not if they ask. Not my circus, not my monkey! Thank God neither of them uses "hard" drugs, so no problem there. Their choice their consequences. To the OP; you have our prayers and best wishes for some kind of positive resolution to your dilemma. God bless.

[Smoke4320]

yes Its a tough road to go down. It hurts as you try your best to raise them right. When they get on their own they are free to make their choices.
We have and are going thru a similar situation. try to remember its THEIR choices not yours and not your fault.
Cutting her off is hard but the right choice. As long as you pay her way nothing changes

Prayers will be made for you and her

[Dave18]

had issues around my area, where the kid and his buddies pulled a home invasion on family , then knocked them around, and left, the kids were caught like in a few days, all were meth heads, backing up the talk about once they are on meth, they are no longer the people you knew,

[Stephen Cohen]

I may be from the other side of the world Sir, but I have been in your position with my son. I assure you the pain will eat your heart out and you will feel you have failed, but I agree with bikerbeans as well. It is only in the last 6 months that my son has shown he is changing yet the heartache of 10years still haunts me. If I am to offer one extra bit of advice it is to look after yourself as you will be needed if your daughter turns her life around. Regards Stephen

[buckwheatpaul]

CG....bikerbeans and Stephen Cohen gave you good advice. It is so hard cutting off a child but if you dont she will pull you down into the pit and you will lose everything. Free choice is such a hard thing to manage but the choices we make shape us and to some degree determine our future unless we decide to change things. I spent a life time and saw drugs and alcohol ruin citizens as well as L.E. and their families and it is heart breaking....be strong and take care of yourself first especially since you are medically retired and money will for sure get tougher as we have found out in the years that we have been retired. Paul

[slim1836]

All good information, I've been down that road. It is a hard one that they can only correct. Hopefully, it will be a good outcome.

You have done what you could, now it's up to them.

Slim