2017/2018 not been great so far

[OeldeWolf]

Maybe I should have titled this "Precautionary Tale"

In 2016 I helped move a great woman I had known for a year (inclusive of a 2 month visit) from Maine to CA. I agreed the house needed maintenance (paint, cleaning, some other things).

I am disabled, autoimmune disorders. Means, among other things, that I can usually do three to fours heavy work a day. I can push and do more, but the cost ramps up quickly, in t5he form of mind numbing fatigue, poor coordination, etc. Which this woman knew. She was disabled, spinal damage from an industrial accident.

She pushed and pushed to get the house done, and projects completed, using the threat of her doing things herself, and further damaging her back, as emotional blackmail to keep me pushing well past what I should be doing. And then she said that every 3 months I would do something stupid to make her fight with me and break up. This caught my attention, and next it happened, I ran a test, and it was her. So, in Oct, I let her break up with me.

And then things got nasty, and things started coming out of the woodwork. Like her plan to marry and divorce me, to take my house. We never made it to marriage, so hat fizzled. And her plan to take me for palimony fizzled on the requirement for a seven year relationship.

But I am still dealing with the Sheriff's Dept. on charges she made against me to them. The good point there, is that they have decided that she is a nut case on their own, and that she forgot to tell them that she is associated with the group Anonymous Hackers. Also, they are actively investigating whether it was her, making phone calls to family members of a friend, claiming to be a detective, and trying to get information on me. Their opinion is that it likely was her, but they are investigating.

And to think, I took out a loan, and sold a number of rifles to help her move out here. And now, she is hiding, so I am having difficulty finding her, so that I can serve small court paperwork on her, for the things she took out of the house when she moved out.

But she was out of the house mid December, so I at least got to put up a tree and decorations for a few weeks. And I had family over for Christmas day, for a meal. Unfortunately, my son and his family were all ill. :(

Here is to hoping 2018 gets better than it has started out!

[Hickory]

Start looking for a good lawyer!
Just remember this, telling the truth in a court of law you end up the loser.
Her lies will be more believable then your truth.

[rancher1913]

At least your house got a little bit of repair done. Sometimes the lord works in mysterious ways, hopefully something positive will come from this

[lefty o]

be glad you didnt get any further with her!

[OS OK]

Maybe you oughta try being an old hermit...I don't think they have troubles with women!

[ShooterAZ]

I had a similar experience back in 2003 with an absolute she devil nutcase. Be thankful that she's gone, trust me on that one. Filing a restraining order is what I ended up having to do.

[xdmalder]

I'm gonna be a little optimistic. I'd say it 2017/2018 was/is a great year! You got rid of her! Imagine 10 years down the road

[NoAngel]

No good deed goes unpunished

[MaryB]

I am single for a reason! Nobody underfoot driving me nuts!

[OeldeWolf]

I have to agree, no good deed goes unpunished.

I checked into lawyers, the amount she owes me is too small for a lawyer, it is a small claims court amount. The problem is finding her to serve her.

Being alone in the house gets to me, I really prefer some sort of company in the house. So hermitude is probably out. Though I would also say that marriage is also out.

Yes, if it had lasted 10 yrs, I am sure I would have ended up selling the house and splitting the proceeds. And no telling what else I would have lost or had to sell in the meantime!

The house is in much better shape, but I am owing payments on the cost of the repairs and improvements. I am patching and touching up the walls she put screws and nails into, to hang things.

Tomorrow, the back room will be finished, and I am putting it up for rent. I need the income, to make the bills!

[NoAngel]

Get a dog.
Gods finest creation. So great he just spelled his own name backwards.

[blackthorn]

I'm gonna be a little optimistic. I'd say it 2017/2018 was/is a great year! You got rid of her! Imagine 10 years down the road

^^^^^^ THIS! Even if you never get full justice for what she took----you dodged the bullet! Count your blessings and good luck in the future.

[JBinMN]

Sad to hear your troubles with this person, but happy to hear you are looking at thing in a positive way.

Just a suggestion... "Room mates" ( room for rent) can become a situation almost like the last one. Be aware of this. Have a "rental agreement"(legal document) of some kind that allows you to remove the "roommate" prior to any state/county/city laws for eviction. Meaning that if you find a need to evict the room mate for theft for example, or something that would not be legal(illegal substance use/sales), etc., then you do not have to wait for example, "30 days" to have them removed, if necessary. If it is contractual, you may be able to have them out of there in less time. This is going to depend on the laws of your area or residence.

I would recommend you do some serious research & consider a "local" attorney for legal advice on this, before you actually start renting.. Just in case...
;)

It is your decision(s), & I wish ya G'Luck!!
:)

[jmort]

Agree with all the above advice
All of it
I would live without electricty, cable, internet, before I rented out a room to a stranger

[Char-Gar]

I am going to offer some counsel that you won't like and likely won't take. Cut your losses and walk away from her and the entire situation. Trying to extract some form or restitution will only keep you in her craziness. Let her keep the cheese and just let you out of the trap.

I second the motion for a dog. They truly care about you and wan't nothing back but your love and affection. Their needs are far less than a woman and peace will be thine!

[OeldeWolf]

Yes,I have almost always had a dog or two. Last one had to be put down as a young'un, the trainer said she had only seen one dog with worse aggression and ptsd and such in her 40 years, it was a terrible experience. But it was the best that could be done for him. I count it as a rescue, as he had a better life than most would have given him. :((

I have rented out rooms before, as have a couple of friends. Not what I want, but a necessary thing in order to keep the house, and keep breathing. I have a couple of health issues, and long term I need at least some electricity and heating to survive. It will be with a contract, and clauses for early removal for things like drugs, alcohol, smoking in the house, theft, etc. I have the book on local rental laws on my dresser right now. One thing I have found, being able to refuse renting to felons does half of my weeding out for me, at the git-go.

[OeldeWolf]

I had done a background check on her before getting with her. Her record was clean. I look at small claims as more of putting out a warning to the next guy she tries to sucker in, than as actually getting what she owes me.

[white eagle]

sounds to me like it already started out good for you
her plans could have come to fruition and you would really be stuck

[Plate plinker]

I am going to offer some counsel that you won't like and likely won't take. Cut your losses and walk away from her and the entire situation. Trying to extract some form or restitution will only keep you in her craziness. Let her keep the cheese and just let you out of the trap.

I second the motion for a dog. They truly care about you and wan't nothing back but your love and affection. Their needs are far less than a woman and peace will be thine!

Sound advice. Walk away far far away.

[Finster101]

Sounds like a good excuse to get the heck out of California.

[OeldeWolf]

If it was not for my son, I would be willing to get out of Kalifornistan. Probably head to CO, where my daughter and her family reside. Unfortunately, CO is having problems with the bluestaters in its metro areas.

[Mr_Sheesh]

Some people get quite weird and are a pain to deal with. Be glad you're escaping with sanity intact and no physical wounds :)

[lightman]

Glad this worked out for you. Good Luck in 2018!

[OeldeWolf]

Thank you. I could really use some good luck. Although you are all quite correct, things could have gotten worse. Had she been able to hide the crazy another year or two, I might have married her. <shudders>

Hopefully Monday the room will get its final coat of paint, and be ready to rent out.

[owejia]

Had a neighbor, dairy farmer, that had a similar experience. Spent about 5 grand moving her and her 14 yr old son from NY. Man what a nightmare, finally had to get sheriff to remove her from his home. Young guy in his early 30's, looking for love on the internet. Live and learn, or learn and live.

[Don Purcell]

Women with baggage are always looking for someone to unload it on. They will eventually find a "White Night" willing to step forward and sacrifice himself in expectations of finding love but he doesn't realize love was never in her plan to begin with. She is a psycho who fortunately for you wasn't able to keep a lid on it long enough to totally destroy you. Do NOT try to contact her. Cut your losses and consider it a hard won learning experience in case you come across another damsel tied to the railroad tracks. Keep walking, the train has a schedule to keep!

[tja6435]

Get a restraining order against her and cut your losses. Life lessons are expensive sometimes, this could have cost you way more, financially and emotionally.

[OS OK]

Women with baggage are always looking for someone to unload it on. They will eventually find a "White Night" willing to step forward and sacrifice himself in expectations of finding love but he doesn't realize love was never in her plan to begin with. She is a psycho who fortunately for you wasn't able to keep a lid on it long enough to totally destroy you. Do NOT try to contact her. Cut your losses and consider it a hard won learning experience in case you come across another damsel tied to the railroad tracks. Keep walking, the train has a schedule to keep!

***** '5 Star Statement'...(get it tattooed on your forearm!)

[6mm win lee]

I learned a valuable lesson over the last 40 years (has it really been 40? sheesh) and that is never live with a woman. Learned with the person-who-will-remain-nameless and watched guys I knew roll through it with their wives and girlfriends. And that lesson is never live with a woman until the preacher says kiss the bride. They have their place and you have yours. If there is a blow up you just go to your house and she to hers. Problem occur if you move into her place and everything goes south. You'll be asking your buddy for a spot on the couch. On the other hand if she moved in with you the cops can throw her out on her kiester.

It is good advise to cut your losses and get a dog. Better a loyal dog than a disloyal woman.

[OeldeWolf]

I will, of course, be getting a dog. As soon as all the **** she caused has been resolved. And from what I have been finding out, I am indeed lucky she is gone. Now, it is coming out that not only is she associated with Anonymous Hackers, but she is probably a hacker herself. And may be using three different sets of ID papers. A real piece of work. I am definitely well rid of her.

But, she IS gone, and will never be back. And I will do just fine without her. A friend and I just finished with getting the back room ready to rent out, and therefore things are going forward. There is, unfortunately, no way to cover all my current bills without some additional income.