View Full Version : Heaviest element discovered............

Herb in Pa
11-21-2005, 01:48 PM
Evidence provided by the reaction to hurricane Katrina has prompted a
>major research institution to recently announce the discovery of the
>heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
>Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
>88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
>mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons,
>which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
>Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can
>be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
>contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over
>four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
>Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
>instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
>neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass
>will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more
>morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
>This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
>that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
>concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical
>Morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium -
>an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has
>half as many peons but twice as many morons.

11-21-2005, 05:36 PM
Funny. True and sad, but funny!

11-22-2005, 12:14 AM
[smilie=l: [smilie=l: [smilie=l: [smilie=l:

11-22-2005, 12:20 AM
Bwa-ha-ha-ha, hee-hee, ho-ho!!

Hoo-boy, Herb, ya just gotta see this stuff up close.

Anybody out there old enough to remember the "ATOMIC RING" ? Sure you do. The metal 'ring' you got in return for 25 box tops of Kix breakfast cereal and $.05 postage. You waited for what seemed an eternity for the Mail Man ( YES, MAIL MAN !) to deliver a fist sized package that contained elements of the Atomic Bomb ensconced in a viewing portal set into a finger ring. Every lad 7 yrs. to whatever yrs. really trusted the cereal ad hype. And why Not? THEY said so, that's why...:>D.

OK, on to the ring. Instructions were to secret yourself into the darkest confines of your home, there undisturbed hold the Nuclear Device as close to your eye (left or right not specified) without abrading the cornea. Within seconds tiny protons, electrons and neutrons began whirling and flashing about the "Nuclear Window". Absolutley amazing it was. Ahh,the drug of naievete` (sp).

Well, on to Herb's excellent point in humor: the more one watches governmentum the less it performs. But it will grow, morons and all. To actually think governmentum actually performs anything is believing a dose of thorazine promotes fine hand\eye co-ordination.

I hope I've not bored Ya'll, but I witness it every day,

Your Grateful Servant: