Thinking about taking a break

[tomme boy]

Over the last few years this forum has grown by leaps and bounds. I am HAPPY that there is so much knowledge available to drawn from. But I have noticed a trend and others have too. Sometimes people just don't like to hear the truth about a subject. If I am wrong about something I will be the first to admit it. So I try my best to not give bad info or knowledge. But sometimes things you have been told and taught were not correct. Especially old wives tails. There are lots of them in this cast bullet sport. I have had my mind changed a bunch of times on what is what when it comes to cast.

What I guess I am trying to say is the attitude of the forum has changed. We have had so many people join up because of the ammo shortages and the political leadership of the country. It seems that lots of these people have come from other forums that bashing and rudeness is the normal way of getting something across. I am one that is on most of the other gun forums as well. But I don't act like a A**. At least I try not to anyway. Sometimes it is just hard to say on a computer what you really mean. I hope that is all of what I see that is going on.

But I think I am going to sit back and see what happens for a while.

[Artful]

This site is unique and very valuable - but it doesn't require you visit every day, especially in the pit area - And the Main Stream Media doesn't require it either.

Take a break and just observe if you have a question. Enjoy your time away and spend it with the important people in your life. Take care of your Health and sanity.

[Piedmont]

Yeah, stay out of the pit. I wish they would do away with that board or room or whatever it is called. It lowers my opinion of some on here whom I would have a great time talking just guns with. So I don't go there anymore and am happy.

[blackthorn]

I have noticed that some people have a very thin skin! I found this (slightly edited) opinion on the“net” and I was struck by the wisdom it contained and how well it applies to this (and any other) forum. “No flame or disrespect to anyone inparticular, intended or implied, it's just a problem with non-verbal, non-faceto face communication. Humans, like allprimates, are visually attuned mammals, and absent looking into the eyes and,having lost the ability to observe facial/body language, information is lost”. When I post I try very hard to be respectful to others and to at least make allowances for what are sometimes aggravating (to me) opinions/comments. That said, if one feels they need a break they should take it and use the time to regroup.

[Josh Smith]

The Pit?

[JBinMN]

Taking a break can be a good thing.
:)

Although I am new here, I am not a "newbie" to forums where the written word is used. I have run across the same things more than a few times, even on forums where you would be thinking that it was hard to find a "cross" person discussing a topic. Like who could get mad & mean in a forum discussing vegetables & gardening, or in a topic about using tick medicine on a dog & where to apply it??, as examples... There "are" people who are just mean/rude without even realizing it , I think... Doesn't mean they have nothing to offer, it is how they offer what they have. Handing something to someone is usually taken better than chucking it at them. Throwing a baseball to hit someone is different than a pitch or lobbing a ball to an outfielder. Just sometimes hard to tell the difference when writing...

Anyway...Personally, like others here, I also try to be very civil with others when discussing topics that are turning divisive. Sometimes what some folks write, like your quote says in the OP; in a way that the communication is not perceived as it was meant... due to lack of inflection & such. So, even if something is written that you perceive to be a jab, it may only be a person joking with ya, & ya just misinterpreted it, for whatever reason. It does help to know the person a bit better, so you can understand their intentions. Many folks here are strangers to one another & do not have the familiarity to "get" when they are being teased a bit just in fun & not a serious "dig".

That emoticon " pulling your chain" thingee >> :kidding:<< is useful, IMO & I wish more folks used it when needed & more places had one to use...

More than once, a buddy has said something like, "Aww, "F" -you!" jokingly, and I know it was just a response to a tease, where someone else might perceive it as "fightin words", not knowing the basis for the exchange of words between folks who know one another and are joshing back & forth...

So yes, sometimes it is good to just take a break & not let what ya read get ya too worked up. I have done that myself. And not just here....{ I just did it last week. ;) } I have done it even, in an argument with a friend or relative & we are not seeing things eye to eye. If I find myself getting worked up, I try to just get away from it/them & go look at or do something else, like just go work on reloading, or any of the other hobbies I have interest in doing.

The main thing is to try to be civil no matter what, if ya can. If in a "conflict", even on the internet in a discussion forum, I like to try to remember Thos. Jeffersons' words about such things... His quote about it is:

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.”



Keeping that in mind helps me just stay cool as I can & not let it get to me too much. And it works... ;)

ETA: I forgot about mentioning "assumptions"... they lead to hassles too, if people assume something & don't have a clear understanding of what the other person is saying they may assume that the person thinks one way, when it is not true, and the person typing thinks another way than the reader perceives it & then the reader makes a general "assumption" about the writer & the content, even though the reader is mistaken...
Hard to tell sometimes.
I often have a hard time "typing" something, that I could easily "say" clearer, & in less words.. Just not sure how to do it... Like this post for example...LOL
:D

Well, anyway, G'luck! in your hiatus & hope to see ya around! I have enjoyed reading a lot of folks posts here, even when I don't always agree. Yours included.. Please don't be a stranger. I think we all have something to share with everyone else, or we would not be in the same forum...
:)

[Skinny]

I would say the most ive noticed (with all forums) is folks tend to let things like respect/truth/values/etc., slide to the negative side when they dont have to face someone.

There is a tendacy to let maturity fall some and do things one wouldnt normally do/say if face to face with a person on a daily basis. Of course, this is mostly done unintentionally but it is noticeable.
Some flat out seek a confrontational attitude from others. Some are the same ones that got shoved into lockers or toilets in school too!

Take everything you read with a grain of salt and remember, the internet is all entertainment with some good knowledge sprinkled in.

[birch]

I urge anyone who is sick of this website to do one thing: stay out of the pit. It turns otherwise rational human beings into brute beasts--myself included.

I was given a time out in the pit section, and I now enjoy this site like I used to--before the addiction of trying to change people's minds became a focal point of my castboolit experience.

Now I can talk about guns. I believe this site is great place to ask for advise. If you are trying to change another person's mind on here, you will have a horrible experience, and it will likely turn you into a generally angry person.

Talk guns and boolits--one of the best combinations on God's green earth. Coffee and cigarettes are a close second!

[fatelk]

I used to be much more involved in forums. Sometimes I felt compelled to reply in a thread when someone was incorrect, misunderstood, or just plain rude. I always tried to word my post carefully and politely, but sometimes I would get attacked. It might have felt like the forum was full of jerks, but in reality it was probably just a very few. It only takes a couple jerks or arrogant know-it-alls to spoil your fun.

Now I just don't. I don't get involved in drama. I avoid the pit. I generally don't post at all unless I have something to say. Especially after an incident on another forum not too long ago, a forum usually at least as polite as this one (believe it or not) that's normally very drama-free. There was a thread going about a certain type of gun, and one guy chimed in that they were inherently dangerous and should never be fired, rounded up and destroyed instead.

I responded with my experience and opinion, politely or so I thought. Another member replied to my post, attacking me strongly, arrogantly belittling and berating me. I looked around a little to find that he was a forum "heavyweight", big man on campus. He probably had a lot of knowledge and experience, and if I had to guess might have been collecting guns longer than I have been alive. He certainly had his opinions. I suppose it made him feel pretty self important to tear someone down and ruin their day. It's a great forum but I haven't been back, and won't, because of one jerk. Maybe that's childish but so be it.

[fatelk]

This is a little off-topic for the specific subject matter of this thread, but relevant to the title at least. I've been toying off and on with "taking a break" myself for quite a while, mostly just to put away my casting and loading gear to focus on more important things for a few years, such as spend more time with my kids and getting more involved in their interests and hobbies.

Well, as of today that's looking more involuntary than not. I'm raising a family on a single income, a fairly good income I think, but we're dang frugal and still can't get ahead. Anyhow, the company I've put in many years with bought another huge multi-billion$ company, and has now given us to them, and moved us over to their benefits. This means massive losses in retirement contributions and unbelievable increases in cost of health insurance. Everyone's been hoping they'll make it better in the future (we bought them, right?) but today a high-up muckety-muck mentioned in a meeting that what we had before was really way too generous and don't expect it to get too that much better. We're talking over $1k per month difference or more for some people.

On top of that, an hour later my wife informs me that she took our daughter to the orthodontist and she needs oral surgery and braces asap, to the tune of $6k, and orthodontics are not covered at all with our new insurance.

So anyhow, sorry for venting and drifting the thread. I know a lot of people out there have it worse than I do. It's just been a bad day. One thing's for sure: no buying guns in the foreseeable future. I'm going to have some molds and such for sale in swapping and selling. I'll likely get rid of some guns that haven't been out of the safe in a while. I've got a bunch of surplus ammo that's worth quite a bit, thinking that will all end up on Gunbroker. A lot of other odds and ends will end up on ebay. The thought of selling the house, uprooting the family and moving again for work makes me sick to my stomach, but it's high time to clear out a literal ton of stuff with that possibility in mind.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

SNIP...
Anyhow, the company I've put in many years with bought another huge multi-billion$ company, and has now given us to them, and moved us over to their benefits. This means massive losses in retirement contributions and unbelievable increases in cost of health insurance. Everyone's been hoping they'll make it better in the future (we bought them, right?) but today a high-up muckety-muck mentioned in a meeting that what we had before was really way too generous and don't expect it to get too that much better.

That happened to me in 2003...which is when I left that company, and was the beginning of my contract work as a independent contractor. I was lucky, in that I was able to make the same $$$ per year for working much less hours. I officially retired from that, last July. I mentioned this, it may be time to change your employment status.

[Adam20]

What is the pit? second Time i seen that in the last few days. Thanks

I used the search box and it came up empty. Usually has my awnser in there.

[beezapilot]

The "Pit Problem" popped up a few years ago- if memory serves you can contact a moderator and they will delete it from your profile access, so you'll not see it at all (much like the newbies), personally, I just rarely go there.

[jmort]

What is the pit? second Time i seen that in the last few days. Thanks

I used the search box and it came up empty. Usually has my awnser in there.

You get access after a certain number of posts. It is for political and religious discussion. I don't get people whining and crying about it. Just don't go there. They act as if some involuntay force compelled them to go to the sub-forum known as The Pit. It is voluntary and if this thread were in The Pit it would be 5 pages long rather than being moribund and largely ignored. A whole lot of action/ posting in The Pit. The Pit is popular for good reason.

[jmort]

Here, I will stretch out this thread and raise my post count
It is at the bottom of the Sub-forums

The Pit. (http://castboolits.gunloads.com/forumdisplay.php?43-The-Pit)
Threads / Posts Last Posthttp://castboolits.gunloads.com/images/buttons/collapse_40b.png (http://castboolits.gunloads.com/forum.php#top)No swearing, porn, assaults, or whining. No exceptions. If you are offended, stay out. 6 months and 100 posts before access is allowed. Mind your manners or you will lose the Privilege to post in the Pit

[Recluse]

What is the pit? second Time i seen that in the last few days.

The Pit is like the little house-of-ill-repute that sits outside many small to medium sized towns. A lot of people gripe and complain about it publicly, but get caught with their pants down inside that little place when they think nobody will notice.

It doesn't hurt anyone who doesn't go there, but it can cause all kinds of problems for those who do and can't control their visits or conduct there.

:coffee:

[Adam20]

Thank you for responses, i read and learn here, I was a lurker for a long time. Started casting a few months ago.
Sorry for thread drift, this place stays on topic better than most.

[Boaz]

The pit is a test . There are those that in 'real life' would never say what they do there . You simply stand up for what you truly believe , disinters can hang . The pit does provide of vengeance , pay back(?) , trolls , enemies (perceived or real) . If you go there be ready , .....you will be put apon . Knowing that you deal with it or fade away . Stand or run , if your not sure then stay away .

In my opinion the pit serves no purpose except to create disharmony , carries over to the threads but not my call . If I post there I and only I will prove or take the resulting comment . In reality the PIT is a good place to avoid .

[bdicki]

I usually just hit the unread posts button, so I end up in the pit a lot. I try to just read.

[mold maker]

The pit is exactly what you make of it. If you go there with a chip on your shoulder, it will be quickly removed. If you don't post, nobody really knows your there. If ya ask a question, you'll likely get opinions both good and bad. It's all up to you.
Don't go there with thin skin and an argumentative frame of mind, because you'll likely find more of the same.
On the other hand there are lots of informative and thought filled discussions there also.

[jmort]

"The pit is exactly what you make of it...
there are lots of informative and thought filled discussions there also."

^^^
This is exactly right
And, it should be noted that that about half of the 20 posts in this thread are related to The Pit
The Pit is active and useful and those that have weaker constitutions should just avoid it rather than whine or complain. No one is forced to "go there."

[RKJ]

One thing I don't understand is the need to tell everyone "I'm leaving or I'm going to take a break for awhile" I've read that a lot here and it just kind of bugs me. If you want to leave or take a break do it. I enjoy being on this (and a couple of other forums) but I don't think for a minute that this forum would cease to exist if I stopped posting. I've left other forums and wont go back but I'm sure they're operating quite nicely without me.


I probably will get some 'hateful' responses about this. My post was not directed to the OP specifically, so please don't take it that way. I've read a lot of his posts and figure he's good person, but if he feels the need to go then just go. That's what I will do when I feel the need to quit.

[blackthorn]

One thing I don't understand is the need to tell everyone "I'm leaving or I'm going to take a break for awhile" I've read that a lot here and it just kind of bugs me. If you want to leave or take a break do it. I enjoy being on this (and a couple of other forums) but I don't think for a minute that this forum would cease to exist if I stopped posting. I've left other forums and wont go back but I'm sure they're operating quite nicely without me.


I probably will get some 'hateful' responses about this. My post was not directed to the OP specifically, so please don't take it that way. I've read a lot of his posts and figure he's good person, but if he feels the need to go then just go. That's what I will do when I feel the need to quit.

To me, this place is much like a family. When someone just disappears, many of us wonder where they went and if they are alright. I for one appreciate that someone has the thoughtfulness to let (the royal) me know they will not be around for a while. Hopefully the "while" will be short and they will regroup and return. With a few notable exceptions, when someone leaves, we are reduced and a loss has occurred.

[Josh Smith]

I have found, in the past, that when I just disappear from a forum on which I'm active, folks start asking "where's Josh?" I therefore started trying to let folks know -- maybe not with a thread, but I'd PM a forum buddy or moderator so folks wouldn't worry.

Some people get wrapped up in forums a lot more than others. I used to when I was testing bullets and boolits, back when Stephen A. Camp was still alive. It was interesting work. My focus shifted after his death, and I also got much busier when the business went full-time in 2012.

My grandfather became very active on a board as his body and mobility failed him over the years.

At any rate, it's likely a good idea to mention a leave of absence. Just don't be dramatic about it is all.

Regards,

Josh

[Lagamor]

A lot of valuable knowledge and good people are on this sight, but the Pit is full of intolerant knuckleheads.
It's always the same people spouting the same garbage and after awhile I could recognize who was posting what and stopped reading their posts.
Somedays the only new posts are political, so I've learned to take breaks too.

[fatelk]

One thing I don't understand is the need to tell everyone "I'm leaving or I'm going to take a break for awhile" I've read that a lot here and it just kind of bugs me. If you want to leave or take a break do it. I enjoy being on this (and a couple of other forums) but I don't think for a minute that this forum would cease to exist if I stopped posting. I've left other forums and wont go back but I'm sure they're operating quite nicely without me.


I probably will get some 'hateful' responses about this. My post was not directed to the OP specifically, so please don't take it that way. I've read a lot of his posts and figure he's good person, but if he feels the need to go then just go. That's what I will do when I feel the need to quit.

Darn it! That's it! I've had it with this place! I'm leaving, and don't nobody try and stop me!!! I don't have to put up with this kind of abuse!!

:) (Just trying to be funny, by the way, no offense intended towards anyone)

Personally I don't mind the pit, in principle. Lots of good discussions and topics that are worth while talking about. I don't get my feelings hurt, I just don't often go there because the drama seems to come from the same people arguing about the same stuff most of the time. A small percentage of those who post seem to be very vocal.

[Der Gebirgsjager]

I usually just hit the unread posts button, so I end up in the pit a lot. I try to just read.

Yes, that's my story also. Up in the right hand corner of the screen where your "handle" is there's an unread post number. I click on it and everything new comes up by title of post. I'm slowly learning to look farther and see what sub-forum the post appears in, but in the past, and usually still, click on a topic because the title looks interesting. That's bad practice because you can end up in The Pit without having intended to, and read some fool's post that insults your values and raises your blood pressure. It does have one value though in that people who post in the more technical sub-forums reveal themselves in The Pit as to what really lies beneath their façade.

[tomme boy]

Guys the pit has nothing to do with it. I rarely go there.

Part of the reason is ME! I have left over 10 forums I was pretty active on in the last year. I have been holding out on this one because of some of the guys that are here have called me to find whats up. My health has been a roller coaster for the last few years. I have not been able to work for over 4 years and I have been fight with SS to get benefits. Lawyers in my area will not even take a SS case anymore because of the judges that are deciding the cases. They have the highest claim denial in the country. Even the TV lawyers will not take it.

I guess I am just going to be in and out till I can't do this anymore.

[sawinredneck]

I understand the OP, it's not just the "pit", I've seen it in the off topic area, myself and several others were told in one thread that we weren't competent enough to diagnose car problems because we weren't certified and so on. It got rather nasty.
I've seen numerous other type cases. It really sucks, IMO, there are a lot of great people and an amazing amount of knowledge on this forum, but with the attitude displayed by many members, this forum is going to die with them, sorry, that's a fact!
I've been on forums since '03, did AOL well before that, I've been around. But this forum, by far, has some of the rudest and judgmental members I've seen. That's great, if you just want to talk to yourself, but it does nothing to help membership and pass this information on to other generations.
Hey, if you want this info to go the way of the Mayan's, your on the right track! Much like HAM radio will be dead in the next few years! "I had to walk barefoot in the snow, uphill, both ways, to the FCC office, then pass the written exam AND have to take a Morris code test! You didn't have to do Jack so I'm not talking to you!"
Yet another example of lost knowledge, I'm reading and writing down as much as I can from this site because once it's gone, it's gone! Honestly, I think a lot here will be happy about that, then they'll be the only ones with any information about it.

[WickedColt]

Guys the pit has nothing to do with it. I rarely go there.

Part of the reason is ME! I have left over 10 forums I was pretty active on in the last year. I have been holding out on this one because of some of the guys that are here have called me to find whats up. My health has been a roller coaster for the last few years. I have not been able to work for over 4 years and I have been fight with SS to get benefits. Lawyers in my area will not even take a SS case anymore because of the judges that are deciding the cases. They have the highest claim denial in the country. Even the TV lawyers will not take it.

I guess I am just going to be in and out till I can't do this anymore.

Good luck with everything. I am new here but I saw someone close to me go through the SS fiasco and it was not fun. Had to end up getting it for anxiety instead of degenerative bone disease (which made them have to have a hip replacement at age 50...). it's tough! God bless

[fatelk]

I hope you find some improvement with your health, Tomme, and some financial relief with SS. I've heard horror stories for years about people being denied who clearly qualify. Chronic illness and pain drains the life out of you. My wife has been dealing with it off and on for many years. No fun.

[RogerDat]

Some people are only here for the pit, some can advocate (argue) for their point there and switch off the attitude in other parts of the forum for casting and reloading posts. Some don't discuss, advocate, or argue for their point as much as they hammer other people. This can crop up in the pit or elsewhere. Some of us are a touch along the way toward cranky Swell Old Boys at times. And there are probably a few grudges floating around too.

I participate in the Pit, in part because of the unread posts list and in part because politics interests me. However if they shut it down I would post a bit less but still have plenty of reason to be here. I do take breaks from the conflict areas at times.

Maybe rather than dismissing anyone that says they need a break it might be worth considering what we do that makes this a less friendly neighborhood and community. One person saying this place is getting unpleasant maybe it's them, one or two in a month indicates maybe the tone around here has become unpleasant enough that a little self examination to consider if maybe I'm part of the problem. After all there are probably several that just drop out without saying anything for everyone that does make a point of saying why they are leaving or taking a break.

Same could be said of moderator bans, if a long time member gets banned for infractions it might be worth considering how much our own behavior mirrors or encourages the sort of actions that get people banned. Frankly finding a creative way to call a person a blithering idiot who is full of organic fertilizer so the post doesn't get auto edited is less useful than posting a creative way one might get a good bullet out of a problem mold.