Dumbest Quotes

[no_1]

I wanted to start a thread for dumb quotes. Hopefully ya'll will join me by posting some you saw/heard.

A friend sent this one. I do not know if Obama said it but if he did it shows what a "thinker" he is.


"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it."

- Barack Obama

[JeffinNZ]

Slick Willy.

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

Or:

The radar operator at Pearl Harbour.

"Nope, that'll be a flight of B17's from the mainland............"

[trickyasafox]

not a famous person- but two residents were having a conversation by me last week when one stated, "I'm from Rhode Island"

the other replied, "where in New York is that?"

thats right folks, and tuition, room, and board for my school is 51,200 for incoming freshman next year. Send and enjoy!

[MT Gianni]

When my wife was a cave guide she was asked at least once a month "Are there any undiscovered caves around here?
There is no corner on stupidity.

[KCSO]

From the A T anf T board of directors...
We see no future in this new invention of Bell's and recommend that we invest no funds in it.

[JIMinPHX]

From the A T anf T board of directors...
We see no future in this new invention of Bell's and recommend that we invest no funds in it.

It was called American TELEPHONE & telegraph BEFORE they picked up Bell’s invention?????

:roll:

[nvbirdman]

"We landed in a hail of sniper fire"? I'm sorry, that wasen't a dumb quote, that was simply a lie.

[pumpguy]

A few years back, my MIL, while observing the sump pump dumping water into the lake from their basement said, "Won't that put the water over the sea wall down here?"

[MT Gianni]

That reminds me of a friends lament to their mother that they had no water. {well was out} Her mother replied "Come get our hose, it's always worked." Then said "Never mind Nancy, that was really dumb wasn't it."

[montana_charlie]

A young Montanan was scurrying around the campus of "Ivy League University" in an attempt to get settled before the start of classes on the following day. Approaching an obvious 'old hand on campus', he asked, "Hey, man! Where's the Registration Office at?

The senior looked at the newcomer with little interest and obvious distaste, then said, "If you hope to succeed here at ILU, you really should endeavor to stop ending your sentences with a preposition."

The Montanan considered that advice for a moment and tried again with, "Uhh, where's the Registration Office at...asshole?"
CM

[StanDahl]

I thought I had learned a few years back not to stick my neck out, but this was just too obvious to ignore - just go to any search engine and type in "Bushisms" and you'll get hundreds to choose from. I'm not saying he's dumb, he certainly isn't, but the Prez is a almost as good at malapropism and mis-speaking as Yogi Berra and way beyond Dan Quayle. Two good ones:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

[JeffinNZ]

A few years back at the local Agricultural & Pastoral Show (A&P), kinda like your county fairs, I was looking at the display about Possum/Merino wool yarn. It's a blend of Australian Bush Tale Possum fur (hollow fur, very soft) and Merino Wool. Makes fanastic garments. Anyways, there is a video of a guy 'plucking' the fur from a dead possum with a duck plucker - the rotary sort. Great clouds of fur and fluff coming off this possum as the operator leans into the machine giving it a huge effort. Then beside me this lady says..........wait for it.........

"Doesn't the possum mind?"

Hell, I about slapped her for being so dumb.

Doesn't the possum mind? For goodness sake.

[Mumblypeg]

I don't know if you would call it a quote but why do they say, "An abandoned cemetery". What?!? Did all the dead people get up and leave? Unkept maybe but not not abandoned.

[Bigjohn]

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-"

Final words spoken by Union Major General John SEDGEWICK as he peered over the parapet at enemy lines during the 1864 Battle of SPOTYLVANIA.

John.

[MtGun44]

. . . . after being warned that "You better stay down,Sir, the Rebs got some real sharpshooters out in them
trees, yonder."

Bill

[Shotgun Luckey]

I can't believe the there are that many inteligent people in this country

[uncle joe]

I had a relative once upon a time, last name of Land. He said one of his uncles wanted his dad to go in on an investment with him his dad said "no one wants of needs a camera that makes pictures that develop themselves"
hindsight would be good in advance :-D

[JIMinPHX]

the Prez is a almost as good at malapropism and mis-speaking as Yogi Berra and way beyond Dan Quayle. Two good ones:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."



Do you think that he misspoke there?

[VintageRifle]

Heard at a Boy Scout Meeting: "You are always if front of those who are behind you".

[uncle joe]

Heard at a Boy Scout Meeting: "You are always if front of those who are behind you".

Just goes to show ya
Everywhere you go ... there ya are

[Ricochet]

Just goes to show ya
Everywhere you go ... there ya are
About 25 years ago in a North Myrtle Beach, SC biker bar named "Silly's," I heard a very drunk biker very earnestly explaining what he'd learned from his life's experience to a younger friend:

"I've been all around this ****ing world, and I've learned that it just don't make a **** where you go. There you are!"

(That wasn't you, was it, Uncle Joe?)

[runfiveslittlegirl]

DAM... mothers against dislexia Dont ask me about it, I heard it from a friend

[rhead]

"I know that there is nothing that I can do to help, but I feel like I should do something."

[SharpsShooter]

A few years back at the local Agricultural & Pastoral Show (A&P), kinda like your county fairs, I was looking at the display about Possum/Merino wool yarn. It's a blend of Australian Bush Tale Possum fur (hollow fur, very soft) and Merino Wool. Makes fanastic garments. Anyways, there is a video of a guy 'plucking' the fur from a dead possum with a duck plucker - the rotary sort. Great clouds of fur and fluff coming off this possum as the operator leans into the machine giving it a huge effort. Then beside me this lady says..........wait for it.........

"Doesn't the possum mind?"

Hell, I about slapped her for being so dumb.

Doesn't the possum mind? For goodness sake.


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Best one I've heard in ages....Thank ya Jeff:drinks:


SS

[Mr. Tree]

Annually since 1988 each fall I have lectured on the Delta Queen Steamboat. Some of the questions from passengers are pretty funny. All are asked quite seriously; immediately some of the folks look wierd knowing what a stupid question it was. Here are a couple and the answers I would have liked to have given:

"Do these stairs go up, too?" -- Nope, just down; once you're down here you can never go up again.

"Does the boat make its own electricity?" -- No, we have a very long extension cord clear back to new Orleans.

While we were passing two deer on the Iowa shore, a retired MIT professor living in California asked, "How long does it take deer that size to grow up and become elks?" -- Half as long as it does to become moose. Although this question is funny, what is not funny is that in a couple of weeks she would vote in California on some panther or forest management issue without having a clue.

[fourarmed]

"Nothing difficult is ever easy."

[Ghugly]

Back in the '80's, when I had a few video stores, I had a kid walk up to me at the counter and say, "you wouldn't want to hire me, would ya?" I looked up at him and said, "no."

The best "application" I ever got was when a girl walked in, slammed my "help wanted" poster (that she had ripped off the wall at the unemployment office) down in front of me and said, "you won't be needing this any longer." I hired her on the spot. Glad I did, too. She was one of the best employees that I ever had.