What women have taught me!

[winchester85]

What have women taught me in my life?

Women have taught me that they cannot be trusted to be honest. They have taught me not to open up to them, despite how much they want that. They have taught me that they all cheat. They have taught me that no matter how much you think the next one is different than all the rest, not to forget that they are all the same. They have taught me that they will do everything in their power to drive you away, and then complain that you are not close enough to them. They will convince you to do all kinds of things for them and that no matter how much you do, that it will never be enough. They will complain that you never include them, but will always have a reason not to accept an invitation.

They have taught me that it is better to be alone forever, than to suffer their lessons!

[dverna]

For some men, a woman is like a house. Renting makes sense.

Don Verna

[corbinace]

Wishing you a better day tomorrow. Don't do anything irreversible tonight.

[Bloodman14]

Winchester, you just described my ex-wife. That being said, what brought this on? Oh, my second wife and I have been married just short of 17 years, and nary a fight. A few hurt feelings here and there, and the occasional disagreement, but NO fights. You gotta get up and try! (borrowed that from P!nk, believe it or not!)

[merlin101]

I'm sorry you've such bad dealings with women.

[smokeywolf]

winchester85, you just have to find the right one. The right one is the one who puts your happiness ahead of her own. Yeah, I know they're rare; like tryin' to find hen's teeth. But, they do exist. Mrs. smokeywolf is my third wife. If at first you don't succeed try try again.
I was in my 40s when we got together; in my 60s now. Like Bloodman14, we don't fight. Have so much in common it's near impossible to find anything to fight about.

Also, just as she puts my happiness ahead of her own, I put her happiness ahead of mine.

Reason the good ones are hard to find is, women embracing today's morals and values are worthless. You've got to find an old fashioned girl. They're more precious than a chest full of diamonds and just about as rare as an honest politician.

[NavyVet1959]

<snip>

They have taught me that it is better to be alone forever, than to suffer their lessons!

And how many years did it take you to learn this lesson?

I learned that women are bat-excrement crazy even before I ever dated one, just by watching how much my mother made my father's life miserable. And she wasn't anywhere near as bat-excrement crazy as some of the women I have seen.

Women just think *differently*... :(

[gandydancer]

For the most part all things said some what true. But oh what a sad world with out them. gd

[Four-Sixty]

This is when you find out what being a Man is all about. You have to take care of yourself, and stick to your guns. Don't "waffle", compromise, or submit yourself to a woman. Lay down the rules/laws and stay the course. Women "think" they want the **** complained about in the first post. When they experience manliness, they learn what they really want. Resolve, duty, authority, toughness, commitment. Women have been so mislead by TV and movies, they have no center. Be the Sun upon which they revolve.

There is a YouTube channel called the "Art of Manliness". They have many great videos including the "14 red flags to watch when dating". Take a year off from the ladies. Get to know yourself, and your friends again. Take care of your needs. Don't have sex on the first couple of dates either. Those relationships seemed to be better ones in my experience.

[William Yanda]

"Women just think *differently*... :sad:" Navyvet

Shouldn't that be; Women just "think" differently?

[Taylor]

178869

[toallmy]

That's not a very pleasant outlook , just find a good one and don't ruin her . Don't ruin her is more important than finding a good one .

[Ole Joe Clarke]

Is this National Bad Day or something? You guys need to go back to bed and get some rest. It's gonna be all right.

[DCP]

Women and Men are sinners. You both have to practices forgiveness or it will fail.

Everyone will hurt you. You choose who that will be!

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

[Col4570]

I Did,nt Smoke,Drink or associate with women until I was fourteen years old.That gave me time to weigh them up and see their foibles, idiosycracies and Pecadillos .I came to the conclusion that starting so late in my life gave me the wisdom to combat the battle of the sexes.Nope they win every time.Just Joking honest darling please put down the baseball bat.

[Ickisrulz]

If a man has recurring problems with women, it might be time to take a look at the constant in the situation.

[marlin39a]

Here's some good advice. Never get married!

[Hickory]

I have been married to my 2nd wife for 39 years, after the first
year and things were going fairly well, I live in a zone of "Cautiously Optimistic."

[OS OK]

Well...I've heard all this before, even said some of it myself regarding my 'X'...but, the problem with me was that I picked her based on the 'package' and I never looked on the inside...you can take it from there.
If I had quit then...I'd missed out on some real good living...now with a wife of 38 years...been together for 40!

[waksupi]

Too many young people base a marraige on having some good sex when they are that age. That doesn't necessarily last forever. I think the most important aspect of marraige is finding someone who is your best friend first and foremost. I'm now happily single, as I haven't found anyone who I think meets that simple standard.

[WILCO]

Take a year off from the ladies. Get to know yourself, and your friends again. Take care of your needs.


If a man has recurring problems with women, it might be time to take a look at the constant in the situation.


Wishing you a better day tomorrow. Don't do anything irreversible tonight.



Sage advice and ditto on a better tomorrow.

[WILCO]

But oh what a sad world with out them.

Truth!!!!

[DougGuy]

Can't live with 'em can't live without 'em can't park 'em by the curb when you're done with 'em..

Married and divorced twice, with gobs of girlfriends before between and after those marriages. Never cheated, got cheated on a time or two but don't we all?

It sorta goes like this.. The first rule, ALL the good ones are taken. So if you find one that appears to be a good one, best look real close at why they ain't currently taken.

The second rule, believe NONE of what you hear and only half of what you see. That way you can listen for that calm inner voice that tends to be right more times than we want it to be.

The third rule is that there isn't any third rule because it is not that complicated.

I have come to the realization that we have to become, that which we deserve. Meaning if you want somebody good, then BE somebody good.

Carry on!

[WILCO]

Can't park 'em by the curb when you're done with 'em..

Actually, you can. It's the cost that needs to be figured in. Therein lies the rub.

[WILCO]

http://images.contentreserve.com/ImageType-400/0293-1/BAB/C0E/20/%7BBABC0E20-1BB2-4C54-845D-F8F1A5981F7D%7DImg400.jpg

[kingstrider]

Hard for some of us to imagine but ever think the problem might be you?

[Petrol & Powder]

While I believe that men and women think differently the bottom line is that people are people.

Both genders have a tendency to lump all of the members of the opposite gender into one group. Anytime you make broad sweeping generalizations about ANY group of people you are bound to make some mistakes.

We see both good and bad traits in other people all of the time and each of us has good and bad traits as well. When you identify a bad trait in another person (or think you have), you can't honestly ascribe that trait to all of the other members that occupy that same group.

[bdicki]

No keepers, you may be fishing in the wrong pond.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

In the early 90's, a older co-worker (who was single and I believe he died that way?) told me, he was looking for a woman who solved more problems than she created. When I recall that quote, it always makes me think of Leona...

When I was in college, I dated Leona, she taught me to be very careful. While she dated me, she dated a couple other fellas, one was a married man, who was also a Navy recruiter. You see, she signed up for the Navy, she was very flirty and knew how to seduce. When the day came for her to "ship off" to basic, she was a no show. I suspect she got him in a peck of trouble, as I understand it, he fudged the paperwork for her, to get her out of joining, for fear she'd tell his wife. We were suppose to have a date the night before she shipped off, she was a no show. that was the last time I seen her.

The story goes...She left town and moved in with a female friend in the Big City. She started "seeing" a fellow who was living in the same apartment building...he was there with 5 other fellows from out of state, all were working on the same construction project. And...it turns out she was spending time with more than one of those 6 fellas...got pregnant...and split. One of those two fellas took it pretty hard, and commit suicide.

This was about the time her roommate called me, looking for her and wondered if I had seen her? She was also looking for her, for rent money.

Years later I heard she wound up marrying one of the other 6 fellas and had 2 more kids with him. I hope she grew up and stayed with him? It's been about 15 years since I last heard anything about her.
Again, I learned to be very careful from her...maybe that's why I'm still a bachelor?

[yancey]

winchester85, you just have to find the right one. The right one is the one who puts your happiness ahead of her own. Yeah, I know they're rare; like tryin' to find hen's teeth. But, they do exist. Mrs. smokeywolf is my third wife. If at first you don't succeed try try again.
I was in my 40s when we got together; in my 60s now. Like Bloodman14, we don't fight. Have so much in common it's near impossible to find anything to fight about.

Also, just as she puts my happiness ahead of her own, I put her happiness ahead of mine.

Reason the good ones are hard to find is, women embracing today's morals and values are worthless. You've got to find an old fashioned girl. They're more precious than a chest full of diamonds and just about as rare as an honest politician.


Like SmokeyWolf, The 2nd time around i found a keeper and wouldn't trade for anything in the world. She puts me first as i do the same with her. """Old fashioned girls are the best""""(21 years and still going strong)

[white eagle]

Is this National Bad Day or something? You guys need to go back to bed and get some rest. It's gonna be all right.

now that there is funny
really all this pissing and moaning is ridiculous

[mold maker]

Met my wife in "60, and married in "62. She still meets my needs and then some, as I try to do for her. The glamour is replaced with maturity. The 54 years have given us unspoken loyalty and happiness.
I really feel for those with bad experiences, but it's obvious that some of us married for the wrong reasons.
Successful marriages are always built on mutual respect and a desire to make it a forever situation.
There are plenty of good gals out there and some have been mistreated by men with loose morals and uncommitted relationships, same as the guys.
When your making a lifetime decision, don't be in a hurry. Take it slow and give both of you time to really get to know the other. It is really true that haste makes waste.

[winchester85]

we were a couple for a couple of years starting 8 years ago, after the couple part ended, we were best friends up until last spring. about august she gave me an ultimatum of passion and more sex or i couldnt come over and hang out as friends anymore. i did a lot of thinking about the 8 years and decided that i would give it a try. but within a week or so of me staying over and trying to provide everything she wanted, it was not enough. she would get started on conversations that no matter what i said, i was the bad guy. i suggested that she was already working on someone else, she immediately became silent. i knew what that meant.
i could do no right, but nonetheless i tried to reach into myself and open up the doors i forced shut years ago. but, during that time she was already gone. the reality is that i knew it, but overall she had been quite good to me for all those years, and i convinced myself that what i suspected was not true.
I live 500 yards from her, thursday night i was tired and decided to stop by and talk politics over a beer. but, there was a new guy's truck in the driveway unloading groceries with a beer in his hand. walking into the house like he owned the place. yesterday i was out on the county road walking out to go look at some deer, when they came riding by on atv's (she never rides her atv). she smiled and waved to me like i should be happy to see her out with her new friend.

i sent her an email this morning, wishing her the best, but not to contact me again.
i should have known better, i feel like a fool.

[Piedmont]

The worst part is the laws in the West all are catered to females. Women file for over %70 of divorces. No Fault divorce is usually the law of the state, meaning there doesn't have to be a reason other than "I'm not happy." When was the last time you met a happy woman?

There are cases where DNA has proved the husband was not the father of a baby conceived in wedlock and the court has ruled the husband must pay child support, or in that case just accept the baby as his (assuming he stayed married to that woman). I know multiple men who were conned into adopting a child who was not theirs, only to be soon divorced and paying for that child until 18 or older (they are making you pay for college these days). It is "for the children", you see.

A man is viewed by the state as a worker beast.

Women view marriage as a business deal. It is only men who buy into the Hollywood love ideal. Women pretend to.

Women always marry up. Why would that be if it was all about love? You a resource to her.

So if you are a man living in the West, you need to be shrewd. Toughen up, cupcake. Figure it out ahead of time and don't be subject to emotions later. Do not leave yourself vulnerable. You will get at least half your stuff stolen every time you divorce.

I have noticed a funny thing. The married men I know well, will confide in a quiet moment that if anything happened to their wife they would never get married again. Married guys on internet forums, on the other hand, tend to be like the guys on internet forums who bought a Taurus and feel they must defend their position.

One more thing, Women's Court judges, oh I meant "Family Court", routinely throw out prenuptial agreements. It seems those aren't favorable to women or the system. So you may have to just go get a second job for the next twenty years to pay for all this. You just keep quiet and 'man up', worker bee.

[vintagesportsman]

32 years, same woman, lots of ups and downs, hurts and happiness too. If it was not for the Lord Jesus we would have killed each other! Now we are so much alike we see each other as friends and not fiends! Sorry for the problems but without Christ it is all a problem.

[winchester85]

no worry about kids with this one, her daughter is a year older than me.

she was near the bottom in quality of sex, if it had been better there probably would not have been issues. i tried in august to explain all that. even though some women can be very sweet, they can be incredibly selfish at the same time.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

What have women taught me in my life?

Women have taught me that they cannot be trusted to be honest. They have taught me not to open up to them, despite how much they want that. They have taught me that they all cheat. They have taught me that no matter how much you think the next one is different than all the rest, not to forget that they are all the same. They have taught me that they will do everything in their power to drive you away, and then complain that you are not close enough to them. They will convince you to do all kinds of things for them and that no matter how much you do, that it will never be enough. They will complain that you never include them, but will always have a reason not to accept an invitation.

They have taught me that it is better to be alone forever, than to suffer their lessons!

The internet is big, and somewhere at this very moment, a group of women are having exactly the same conversation. What wonder, when they constitute half of the two-legged being without wings that most of us will have dealings with?

There is a story about a compulsive gambler who lives in a small town, and plays in the same card-game every weekend. One day his friends come to him and say "Don't you know that card game is crooked? They are cheating you." He replies "I know, but what can I do? It's the only game in town?"

That could just as easily come into that other conversation I mentioned.

[Char-Gar]

Women have taught me the majority of what I know in life. My Grandmother, mother, aunts, school teachers and sunday school teachers were my first teachers. It was later than men became my teachers.

There are good women and bad women, just as there are good and bad men. There are many ways in which men and women are different and failure to recognize the difference is the cause of much conflict in relationships.

Taken as a whole, I hold women in high regard. If the OP latched on to one or more bad women that gave him such a warped view of women, then that is on him. He had some bad decisions and picked bad women. That is not the fault of women in general, but the fault of a man who can't tell the difference between a good woman and a bad woman.

[montana_charlie]

What have women taught me in my life?

Women have taught me that they cannot be trusted to be honest. They have taught me not to open up to them, despite how much they want that. They have taught me that they all cheat. They have taught me that no matter how much you think the next one is different than all the rest, not to forget that they are all the same. They have taught me that they will do everything in their power to drive you away, and then complain that you are not close enough to them. They will convince you to do all kinds of things for them and that no matter how much you do, that it will never be enough. They will complain that you never include them, but will always have a reason not to accept an invitation.

They have taught me that it is better to be alone forever, than to suffer their lessons!
If you think women are bad, let us know how it works when you try 'men'.

[44man]

I have a good woman, married forever and she hates Hillary with a passion I can't match. I am at the gun stage but she is at the nuclear stage. She is right, all around Hillary must go too.

[.45Cole]

You live in the valley, not very good pickin's. You need to import one from the other side of the mountains. In all the time here I think I have ran across about 10 good ones, including friends relationships and singles I have ran across. They're out there, just not here.

[Moonie]

I seem to remember Dr Laura cheated on her husband. I'm also here to tell you that you can learn much from mothers, aunts, and other female relatives but I have 5 daughters. The oldest of which truly told me everything. To the fathers that think they want that from a daughter, you do not... I have learned from daughters just how mean women can be.

[Piedmont]

Taken as a whole, I hold women in high regard. If the OP latched on to one or more bad women that gave him such a warped view of women, then that is on him. He had some bad decisions and picked bad women. That is not the fault of women in general, but the fault of a man who can't tell the difference between a good woman and a bad woman.

So, again, it is the man's fault. But if we reverse it, the poor woman just kept getting all these loser men. Alcoholics, druggies, woman beaters, cheaters. That poor girl, put her on welfare and put that man in prison. I guess the original poster just needs to "man up" and be a better man.

This is the typical, pathetic, politically-correct, nonsense that is ruining the West.

[winchester85]

hard to know you are picking a "bad" one when everyone who meets her thinks she is amazing. the one before this one:

right up until she dumps you out of the blue 2 days before your birthday, also the day that while driving home you decided to ask her to marry you, then she asks someone to marry her a week later. that man killed himself 2 years later on his birthday, their 2nd anniversary. she had cheated on him with and is still with his best friend, and told him to be out of "her" house before she got home, also 2 days before his birthday.
some women are just plain evil. EVERYONE I knew thought she was the sweetest ever.

that was 12 years ago, and true. i am just lucky that i was not the one that married her.

[Ickisrulz]

But if we reverse it, the poor woman just kept getting all these loser men. Alcoholics, druggies, woman beaters, cheaters.

There are certainly women who pick the wrong kind of man again and again. The bad choices fall on them for sure. I doubt we'd agree if a lady came on here as said all men are trash.

[Butler Ford]

178895
178896
178897
178899


bf

[Ballistics in Scotland]

So, again, it is the man's fault. But if we reverse it, the poor woman just kept getting all these loser men. Alcoholics, druggies, woman beaters, cheaters. That poor girl, put her on welfare and put that man in prison. I guess the original poster just needs to "man up" and be a better man.


H'm well, I think it is a bit like cancer deaths around Chernobyl. You can look at the big picture and be sure that people are dying as a result of the radiation. But unless an individual was one of the working teams during the disaster, who displayed early and specific symptoms, you can't tell his fate from the sort of cancer that might have happened with no such factor.

I wouldn't draw any conclusions about the OP, except that he has had experiences he didn't like. But there are men who have a persistent tendency to abuse or let down women (Am I repeating myself there?), and even more puzzlingly, women who stagger from one of that kind to another. Sometimes it is an attraction to the dramatic, in the form of simmering near-violence and... er... assertiveness. But what simmers is liable to boil over someday. Other times it is the belief that an inadequate just needs to be mothered to set him straight. I don't know if it is better to have his birth mother still on the job too, or if she has quit on him.

[Blackwater]

Lots of wisdom and apt observations sprinkled in here, and on both sides of the man/woman issue, actually. But essentially, there's an old saying that kind'a puts it in its proper perspective: "It takes two to tango." Yep. That about sums it up. To have a bad relationship, and we've all probably had one or more, it takes a man who thinks he knows what he wants, but doesn't really, and a woman who'll pretend to be something she's really not. Add in the effect of our modern culture where folks EXPECT everything to work, even when there is absolutely NO reason to believe that, and .... you've got marriages and relationships made in hell, instead of Heaven. And few things are as common as this today.

Now understand, I've been married 47 years now, to the same willful woman, and it has NOT been easy for much of that time. I've had many opportunities to stray sexually, but so far at least, have not done so. And THAT has NOT been easy either, especially at times! But I stumbled my way through it, and I'm glad. Honestly, I didn't turn down those offers I've had because of her, I did it for ME! A man who doesn't have rules and principles that to him are inviolable, simply isn't fully a man. And a man who goes off chasing every cute skirt that shakes itself at him is being baited, and he can't not know that. He knows it, but finds it pleasing, so .... he goes ahead and chases it anyway until she catches him!

Our modern world sees sex as though it were some sort of irresistible force that dwarfs mankind's senses and sensibilities. And indeed, they often if not usually act like that were so. But it's not.

The simple truth about sex is that just about ANY woman who doesn't have scabs on her, can satisfy any rational man, sexually. Even those who are overweight. I once read a study where it was pretty conclusively shown that "fat people" have MORE sex than the more attractive and svelte types. Apparently, the svelte types spend more time preening than they do in doing stuff! Fat folks just don't care that much about their appearance, so ... they just do things while others are "working out" and doing "constructive" things.

Have you ever noticed how many of the most stable marriages are with a woman who's not exactly svelte? Did you ever consider why that might be so? Not every man is looking for a real beauty to wed. Many really DO look for a good woman and a good friend to couple up with. And those marriages tend to last. But BOTH of them have to be humble enough and giving enough and loving enough to make it work, no matter what any of the parties look like or are shaped like.

My own wife is very svelte for her 67 years, but in all honesty, sometimes I wish she'd gain 50 lbs. and lose some of the attitude she learned in her 30 years in the liberal NEA run teaching system! So that's my "honest confession" for the day.

But women and men DO indeed think and deal with things differently. This CAN be an asset to both, if they'll let it be, and utilize that for greater, deeper and better understanding of themselves, their union, and the problems that face them. But we usually don't do that, and instead, try to convince ourselves that they're wrong and we're right, whichever side you happen to be on. And sometimes, it's even correct, too! But that's when simple grace comes in - grace being an "unearned benefit." When one extends the grace to the other, where the decision won't kill either of you or destroy your finances or life, etc., it usually catches and throws them off guard. Saying, "OK, we'll do it your way" really isn't all that big a deal sometimes, and certainly not as crucial as we often make it out to be. When marriage turns into a contest of wills, BOTH parties lose, and BIG TIME!

Man is simply not complete without woman, and woman is not complete without man. But both are "finished" if and when they refuse to act like adult married folks, and try to imitate spoiled brats that only and always want to have THEIR way, and never consider the other's side and merits and needs. And it's really just that simple.

The Bible calls a virtuous woman a "pearl of great price," and it doesn't do so because they're EASY to find! They've NEVER been easy to find. But they ARE out there. Those who limit their choices to those who could pass for runway models are VERY much limiting their choices to the ones who are more heavily and intensely into preening and appearances, and NOT into self-development, wisdom and justice. THIS is the first limitation so many, many men place on their own selves, and then complain so loudly about when they don't get what they thought they were going to get.

Real love is not the heated passions of sex. That's lust. Real love is a much quieter, more sober, and reflective and actually more intense and gradual thing. But it's SO much more satisfying than simple lust! When the lust is consumated, you're "hungry" for something that tastes a little different next time. REAL love is satisfying through and through a man's or woman's soul. THIS is the real difference between lust and love, and it's a true tragedy that so many haven't been taught and seem to not even want to learn that difference.

Hurting is a bad thing, but it's SO common today. But the REASON we hurt is almost always because of flaws within our own selves, our assumptions and our disregard for realities we all know but don't want to consider. When a man's hot to trot (and women too), it's always been common throughout history to give in to the passions. But there's always a price extracted for that. Always.

First, it begins to diminish our own self respect and belief in ourselves and our judgment. Then, it expands into thinking "they're all like that," even when we know good and well they aren't. And from that, one can only get worse and worse, and this makes us more and more disgusted with the whole female race, and our obvious want and need of them. But if we've forgotten, or perhaps never really knew, the REASONS why women and men are so different, what else COULD happen but more of the same?

This can lock us into an infinitely repeated process of thinking we've found "the one," finding that it was no different than the last time, and then repeating same over and over until we die or one of them kills us!

Guys ..... we have a brain, and we were given it to USE. We have two heads and just enough to use one or the other, but not both at the same time. Those who use the one on their shoulders FIRST, almost always come out better in the long run than those who use the littler one. In a culture where the going ethic is "do it if it feels good" reigns, it's VERY easy to fall into that kind of behavior/thinking, but it's STILL the biggest mistake we can probably ever make. What people say and think, and what the common ethic of the day happens to be, does NOT change reality or rationality or judiciousness one whit! And yeah, it's hard to say "no" to that little head, but .... it's saved many a man from much, much horrible results, and it'll continue to do so as long as man and woman vie with each other and try to relate to each other.

It's a simple choice, and it's not easy, but it's always been worth making it intelligently, though it'll hurt for only a little while in denying one's self some "pleasures" that simply don't last. The pleasures and satisfactions of a good woman (none are perfect, any more than any man is) will and can and do last for a lifetime. That's the difference, and we have to pick one or the other. Good luck, guys. But it'll take more than luck to make a good choice. It'll sometimes take all the courage and determination and other assets you can bring to bear to not make another mistake. But it'll always be worth it. Take a look at those gals you've been overlooking. Maybe overlooking them hasn't been as "smart" as you thought?

[iomskp]

And all that being said the only way to keep one out of the white house is to go and vote, if you don't vote you will be stuck with some other persons choice.

[Char-Gar]

So, again, it is the man's fault. But if we reverse it, the poor woman just kept getting all these loser men. Alcoholics, druggies, woman beaters, cheaters. That poor girl, put her on welfare and put that man in prison. I guess the original poster just needs to "man up" and be a better man.

This is the typical, pathetic, politically-correct, nonsense that is ruining the West.

The OP need to own up to making bad choices in women for there are plenty of good ones out there. Some women also seem to pick their men from the looser tree. It is all about not blaming an entire gender for our bad choices. You think that is pathetic, politically correct nonsense....really? I just call it taking responsibility for our own decision and actions.

[ShooterAZ]

Char-Gar is right. There are plenty of good women out there, the one that I'm with now has a heart of gold. Unfortunately, there are some truly evil ones too. I broke an engagement with an evil woman, and her retaliation was to call the law three months after our break-up and falsely accuse me of pushing her down a flight of stairs. Her whole motivation was to get me convicted of domestic violence, so I wouldn't be able to own firearms. The judge was able to quickly see through her lies, and threw it all out. My attorney recommended that I sue her in return...I let it go. She truly was venom wearing denim.

[PS Paul]

Threads like this make me happy I've got the same wife for 25 years now. Guess I'm just lucky..

[Driver man]

http://www.nzhuntingandshooting.co.nz/attachments/f31/56252d1474674405-campfire-humour-all-jokes-thread-please-content-1-.jpghttp://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm185/Bushscribe/Joke%20001_zpsvvls5hly.jpg (http://s296.photobucket.com/user/Bushscribe/media/Joke%20001_zpsvvls5hly.jpg.html)

[Riverpigusmc]

women have snakes in their heads

[shaner]

For some men, a woman is like a house. Renting makes sense.

Don Verna



winchester85, you just have to find the right one. The right one is the one who puts your happiness ahead of her own. Yeah, I know they're rare; like tryin' to find hen's teeth. But, they do exist. Mrs. smokeywolf is my third wife. If at first you don't succeed try try again.
I was in my 40s when we got together; in my 60s now. Like Bloodman14, we don't fight. Have so much in common it's near impossible to find anything to fight about.

Also, just as she puts my happiness ahead of her own, I put her happiness ahead of mine.

Reason the good ones are hard to find is, women embracing today's morals and values are worthless. You've got to find an old fashioned girl. They're more precious than a chest full of diamonds and just about as rare as an honest politician.

Smokey I'd right on. After two crappy ones and divorced. I found one I enjoyed being with everyday .I looked forward to seeing her. We went everywhere togather for 15 yrs . Then she left me and went to heaven. Thanks to cancer.

Sent from my SCH-I435 using Tapatalk

[historicfirearms]

Women will cheat on you and take advantage of all that you have. Better off getting a hooker when that urge arises and live the good life like a man. Anybody that blames the OP for his problems is a fool. These women today are not worth a man's time. Hang in there buddy, the pain goes away with time and your life will be so much better without her.

[white eagle]

wow!:violin:

[shaner]

I have to agree they are different the ones I've met in the past few months. Well its hard to believe

Sent from my SCH-I435 using Tapatalk

[richhodg66]

I have noticed a funny thing. The married men I know well, will confide in a quiet moment that if anything happened to their wife they would never get married again. Married guys on internet forums, on the other hand, tend to be like the guys on internet forums who bought a Taurus and feel they must defend their position.

There was certainly some truth in your post, but this jumped out at me. Been married for 28 years now, first marriage for both of us. The past few years, since I retired from the Army and kids left (one is back in with us for a while) have been the best ones of all, truly. If, God forbid, I ever wound up single again, I wouldn't get married either, but not because I am unhappy or don't like being married. I'm not 22 anymore, I'm 50, set in my ways and have really lost an ability to adapt to things which I think is typical of men (and probably women) and I just cannot imagine having to get used to all the little quirks of someone new who I had to have that intimate an existence with and I don't think I could reasonably expect someone else to either.

Maybe you've been burned before and it's understandable, but it sure sounds like you have a bitter outlook and are pretty unhappy. Either through luck, hard work or both, a lot of people do have good, long term relationships, sorry it doesn't work that way for everybody, but don't lump everyone who has in some kind of unhappy mindset.

I will say that Americans do tend to think that being married is a must and I wish they didn't. Some people just aren't cut out for it and if they'd admit it to themselves and we didn't have this social pressure on people to be married, there would be fewer divorces.

[lightload]

Char-Gar hit the nail on the head. My point or contribution is that men do their share of sorry things also.

[OS OK]

Char-Gar hit the nail on the head. My point or contribution is that men do their share of sorry things also.

Most of us realize that...there's a lot of chest puffing and bashing going on in this thread...many men I've known are just horney dogs and deserve whatever they get from the women. People need to learn how to treat each other, not use each other. This is by no means a lopsided situation weighing heavily on the women's side...but I'll tell you this, If I were younger and in the dating scene, I'd be dang careful where I went to meet eligible women...especially careful about dating someone I met at some bar.

What you see is what you get.

[Ole Joe Clarke]

Well, I'm gonna keep the good one I have. I told her if she ever left, I was going with her. Next Sunday, Oct 23, we start our 53rd year. God has blessed us, and it was "till death do us part." It still is.

[winchester85]

not bitter or unhappy by any stretch. life has been good.

[NavyVet1959]

"Women just think *differently*... :sad:" Navyvet

Shouldn't that be; Women just "think" differently?

Well, I was going to add:

"And I'm using the word 'think' very loosely"

:)

[Murphy]

My first wife up and died on me....

The one I got now? Just won't!!!


(Just jokin' about wife #2)

Murphy

[NavyVet1959]

I've always said that marriage is finding someone that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

And the secret to a long marriage is neither of you being willing to admit that you made a mistake by getting married...

:)

[Blackwater]

There's an old country song called "I overlooked an orchid while searching for a rose." I think that's at the root of a lot of marital problems today. If you go looking for a "good time," you can find that, but it definitely doesn't typically translate over into a happy, lifelong relationship. We generally find what we go looking for, and calling a "good time" a "wife" is pretty assumptive that all marriage is is a "good time." It's not. Marriage is about commitment in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, 'till death do us part. Many won't even use the traditional wedding vows any more! Is it any wonder they don't last, when they won't even, at the wedding, make a real, bona fide commitment to each other? Without real commitment, marriage and relationships are doomed. Some live together before being married, but that hasn't solved anything either, because without the commitment, they're still just having a "good time" and simply making it more convenient for both parties.

Women have the same sexual needs as men do, and in a culture where there are no "rules" of personal behavior, folks just do whatever impulse bids them to, and marriage is a whole 'nother thing compared to just having a good time sexually or otherwise. Sex is less than 1% of marriage, but it is, obviously, one of the most pleasurable and powerful factors in it. But nailing that runway model look alike is all about pleasure and bragging rights with friends, and status in the "sex game." But it's not a very good way to pick a wife.

Those women you overlook - have you taken a 2nd look or reconsidered just what they are, or why you overlook them? That can be a mistake. Any time we allow ourselves to be rooked into behaving like Pavlov's dogs, we get fed dogfood, not steak and potatoes. That's not exactly a wonder, is it? And the funny thing about "plain looking" women is that they often tend to age very well, while the runway models often don't.

There are times when "a bird in the hand" is indeed better than two in the bushes, but when it comes to women, that philosophy is badly misplaced. A good woman ain't easy to seduce, so many go on to easier territory, and in doing so, leave behind the greatest asset any man can find in this life. There's a reason it's said that behind every powerful man is a good woman. Nothing shows a man's character like his choice of a wife.

Ever noticed those elderly couples that don't say much to each other, but look at each other in the eyes, and hold hands as they walk from a restaurant back to their car? THAT is the way to really live life. And if you'll notice, most of them are pleasant looking. It's that satisfied smile - a usually subtle thing - that they wear that makes them so "attractive." There's a lesson in simply watching folks in a restaurant, if we simply allow ourselves to see it. Good answers are everywhere, but .... we so often simply turn away from them in preference for something more "shiny" and appealing .... at least for the moment. Passion is as bad as drunkeness in making people make bad decisions. It really may be even worse. Passion can lead us to do things that when we get sober the next day, we'd NEVER do!

[Col4570]

Been married for 58 years,one daughter, three grown grand sons,one great grandson.I suppose luck plays a great part in how it works out.The pathway can be rocky at times but the good times outweigh all.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

If, God forbid, I ever wound up single again, I wouldn't get married either, but not because I am unhappy or don't like being married. I'm not 22 anymore, I'm 50, set in my ways and have really lost an ability to adapt to things which I think is typical of men (and probably women) and I just cannot imagine having to get used to all the little quirks of someone new who I had to have that intimate an existence with and I don't think I could reasonably expect someone else to either.

Yes, exactly. The people who say they would never get married again fall into approximately two quite separate groups. The people who say they would are just a fraction, willing to imagine what many find unthinkable, of those who would actually do it.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

Here is a Kipling poem of which feminists often quote just the first few lines as a classic example of male chauvinist piggery. But it goes on to develop something quite significant. Men in war, hunting or politics often develop a strong fellow-feeling for the adversary, or at least they used to. I think of my old childhood friend the pathologically shy First World War sniper, who got into the army with e "Daily Mail" for the 4th August 1914 wadded up inside his boots to make the height, and never killed anyone he could send home to take his pension. Or his friend who minded a silver flute for a wounded prisoner, and sent it home to Bavaria after the war. Or Harry Patch, the last surviving trench solder, who made that same agreement with his No1 on the Lewis gun, to wound anybody they could avoid killing.

Kipling says that a woman's natural role is protecting her children, in which no such compromise is possible. In modern life her ideas and beliefs take the same role, and anybody who endangers them has to take the fall. An aggravating factor is that we live in a changing society, where people move from one environment to another. A medieval peasant couple could be pretty sure of believing in the same things all their lives, but today people change.

The Female of the Species

By RudyardKipling

When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the female, thus accosted, rends the peasant tooth and nail,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
’Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale,
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man’s timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn’t his to give away.
But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other’s tale,
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations - worm and savage other wise,
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact,
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lays the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger - Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue - to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same.
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

She who faces torture for each life beneath her breast,
May not deal in doubt or pity - must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions - not in these her honour dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that made her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions - in default of greater ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies! -
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charge- even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes and poisons - even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victims writhe in anguish - like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it comes that Man, the coward, when he gathers toconfer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice - which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him,
Must command but may not govern - shall enthrall but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and her instincts never fail,
That the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

[NavyVet1959]

My wife likes to try to inundate my memory cells with 3rd or more level information -- stuff about friends & family of friends & family of friends & family of on and on... Hell, I don't even care about her friends and family. I *might* remember the names of her brothers and sisters... Maybe I'll even remember the names of their spouses and I might even remember whether they have kids... But, her friends (or her siblings' friends)? No way... And friends & family of those friends? Forget about it.

I would not be the least bit surprised to discover that she says 30+ words for every word I say in a "conversation'. Of course, what this really means is that all I hear is "buzz... buzz... buzz..." and every one in a while if I hear an obvious pause in the buzzing (where she's catching her breath), I just nod my head and grunt...

That language thing... Obviously a subversive plot by women... No way men would have invented it...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srV6Wzsu5Xw

[A pause for the COZ]

I have been married for 27 years. No matter how you slice it. it is a tough row to hoe.

Why???
After all the books written and time spent fighting. Its seems hard but is actually pretty simple and reduces to two components.

The man wants to be respected.

The Woman wants to be needed.

If those two primes are active = happy life. If not = fight city.

I make it a priority every day to spend 20 minutes no matter what my day has been like and no matter how much I dont give a **** about it.
I sit and just listen to my wife. Dont try to solve any thing just listen to her. Its harder than you think but well worth the investment.

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d66/Kelly2215/cid_image004.jpg

[smokeywolf]

Mrs. smokeywolf is logical and rational. If you asked her, "which would you rather have, new diamond earrings or a new pistol?" She'd take the pistol every time.

On occasion she'll tell me something that she knows I already know or repeat something that she said a few minutes earlier and if I tell her she already told me that, she'll say, "I know, I just wanted to talk. I'm just being a girl."

[Idaho45guy]

Was married for 20 years to a woman who constantly made me feel like a failure. No matter what I did, it wasn't good enough. She finally left me for an old boyfriend. I now have a younger, sweeter girlfriend who is incredulous that any woman would let me go.

[Markbo]

There is only 2 ways of dealing with women.
Neither of them work

I am with my 2nd. 14 years now. When we got together I was making good money and she wasnt. Niw for a lot of reasons I am making s**t for money and she is doing really well. Frankly I couldnt afford to live without her. But here in the last 5 years or so I not only cant do anything right, she is on me on a weekly basis about getting a better job and how disappointed she is in me. Never occures to her to support ad/or help me....just put me down.

She is older than me and close to retiring. She will get money from her Dad once her Mom passes away so she is set for life. Me, I am going to have to work till the day I die and that is either A. Not what she wants (me working) or B. Not near enough money. I cant win. I am lazy and no good. But ask anyone at work and I am the hardest working guy around...I very typically outwork younger guys.

It messes with my mind (depression and self worth) sometimes, but I cant throw her out. I wouldnt be able to pay the bills and taxes. I try very consciously to support her in all things - especially work stress. She doesnt treat me the same way. So I am as they say...in that rock and a hard place. Stuck.

[6bg6ga]

I'm wondering why you bothered to put something like this on the forum. This isn't Dear Abby.

[Hickory]

I'm wondering why you bothered to put something like this on the forum. This isn't Dear Abby.

Sometimes when you're down and out and just need to spill your guts you just know that your close "friends" will have no compassion or sympathy to your plight, a stranger, with no more information than you care to give them may care more then a close friend.

[dale2242]

Doesn`t this thread belong in the PIT?....dale

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

I'm wondering why you bothered to put something like this on the forum. This isn't Dear Abby.


Doesn`t this thread belong in the PIT?....dale

This is precisely what "Our Town" is for.

From the description header:
"This is the area for general forum Help, Info , Member Prayers and Board Updates. "Our Town" section for our member related issues "

[Piedmont]

Maybe you've been burned before and it's understandable, but it sure sounds like you have a bitter outlook and are pretty unhappy. Either through luck, hard work or both, a lot of people do have good, long term relationships, sorry it doesn't work that way for everybody, but don't lump everyone who has in some kind of unhappy mindset.

I am content with my life. Can you not see that you are using shaming language to keep me in line with societal norms? Why do you feel you need to do this with people who disagree with you or have made different choices in life?

The thing that bothers me most is we have been told for decades everyone is equal but there are two sets of rules and all I see is men being screwed in divorce court. Unfortunately even some men seem to think this is ok. I also see women get preferential treatment in hiring for jobs.

[dtknowles]

I am content with my life. Can you not see that you are using shaming language to keep me in line with societal norms? Why do you feel you need to do this with people who disagree with you or have made different choices in life?

The thing that bothers me most is we have been told for decades everyone is equal but there are two sets of rules and all I see is men being screwed in divorce court. Unfortunately even some men seem to think this is ok. I also see women get preferential treatment in hiring for jobs.

Legally everyone should be treated equally except there is a thing called affirmative action that is intended to put Straight White Men at a disadvantage compared to everyone else to make up for years of White Male Privilege.

It is actually legal to discriminate against White Males. Regarding Divorce Courts you have both the Affirmative action thing and the liberal tendency to take from the rich and give to the poor or children. The only way a Guy can get a good deal from a Divorce Court is if he is going to get the Kids and is the one without a job or with the lower paying job.

I have never been Divorced so this is just second hand observations. I have been happily married twice but both times I saved the women I married from difficult life situations and they appreciated it and I did not hold it over them and I treated them as if they were prettier, smarter and more capable then even they thought they were. Both times I had them move in with me in a house I owned and we lived together before we got married. After my first wife died, I was alone for a while and travelled around visiting past girl friends, friends of friends and acquaintances. Came home still single met a new girl from a nearby neighborhood. Took more than 5 years to decide to get remarried.

Tim

[ole 5 hole group]

If I am to believe what I've been told and hear on a daily basis - white women will be responsible for putting hrc in the wh. That is one scary thought and a lesson I will not soon forget, if true.

[NavyVet1959]

If I am to believe what I've been told and hear on a daily basis - white women will be responsible for putting hrc in the wh. That is one scary thought and a lesson I will not soon forget, if true.

If you look at who women have voted for over the years, you have to wonder how much better the country would have turned out if it had not been for their voting.

[ole 5 hole group]

If I remember correctly - it was the State of Tennessee that was the deciding State and was carried by 1 vote.;)

[white eagle]

it is true that if only women voted this time around Hellary would win by 85%
I believe that some women vote for her on the fact that she is a women only not a care for
facts of political history

[Blackwater]

Well, guys, despite all the apt comments and observations seen here, I got a really good lesson today in the power of real and abiding love, and in grace, when applied to marriage. My ol' truck was not wanting to crank, and was getting balky, so after a doc's appt., I drove straight to my chosen service center. It's run by an older lady who goes to my church, and a more cheerful, honest and very dedicated lady, and they have won "Best in Town" awards for auto services for I think it's 8 straight years here. I think the college vote puts them over the top in that, because they treat these young and often financially challenged people as if they were their own children, and always deal fairly and honestly with everyone. A middle aged black man and his very neat young son were there, waiting on their car to be worked on.

But Kay had decided to take a little vacation - a rare thing for this "nose to the grindstone" lady, and her relatives, who had run the business at a different location more in the center of town for many years, were covering for her in her absence. They knew the ropes and were the most trustworthy folks to have picked to do these duties. They'd also been my previous service folks for over 30 years, and never once disappointed me. They weren't the lowest prices available, but they were so reliable and trustworthy, and always looked for things developing and kept me abreast of them before they became big problems, that for me, it was a real no-brainer to use them nearly exclusively. When they weren't the best available to do a certain job, they had zero compunctions or hesitance about referring me to someone they'd trust THEIR OWN vehicles to. So there's a whole lotta' trust and confirmation over many years in dealing with these great folks. I was surprised, and very happily so, to see Woody and his wife and partner Pat there today, and we had a very nice conversation.

Woody is a tall, slender, freckled fellow with unruly, curly reddish brown hair. He's as humble as an old shoe, but possessed (typical of redheads?) of a temper if you make him display it. Kay is now white haired, and seems a bit boisterous in mannerism if you meet her for the first time. But it's just her outgoing and unrestrained love and respect coming out, after you've come to know her. She used to have very dark brown to black hair, and is built like a two litre coke bottle. Neither would win a prize for beauty.

But that doesn't matter, because they love each other dearly and trust each other implicitly, and support each other unrelentingly. They're both so honest, that if one makes a mistake and someone gets bent out of shape about it, they won't try to claim it wasn't a mistake, but they'll try to explain the sorce of the mistake, and do their best to "make it right," even when the person who's complaining just seems to want to rant and rave or get the work done for free. Occasionally, if they're insistent, they'll tell the customer to go and they owe nothing, even though they know full well they're owed significant money. They just don't want to worry themselves about money they can replace. Consequently, due to their character, they actually had to turn away as many customers as they accepted the work for. They had so many "regulars" that they had a very hard time just keeping those folks' vehicles up. And if you EVER crossed one, you'd best be prepared to deal with them both, because they were NOT shy about taking up for each other. But they always did it very rationally, even in the midst of ever increasing emotions and unwarranted accusations.

THIS, my friends, is what it means to be "one flesh." And few actually achieve this kind of relationship, simply because that's never what most are even aiming at when they wed. Most folks wed for the "good times" and for youthful looks, that always fade over time. And when a woman has been wed for her looks, and they always know this, when their looks start to fade, they become defensive and disagreeable, and the fight is on, and usually works its way to a separation/divorce. Their expectations of each other is what seems to always cause this. Had there been more rational and reasonable expectations, and more seeking of real love and respect instead of merely passion in the bedroom, many relationships would wind up MUCH better than they do now, when I believe the % of successful marriages over time is now below 50%.

We get what we plan for, in short. Woody and Pat were a genuine pleasure to deal with, and always inspiring and motivating people to just talk with. THEY are the kind of folks who do it right. When they go to bed together, the shared experience, love and trust and respect, makes each look beautiful, literally, to the other. They simply have "eyes" to see beyond the outer surface, and to see the beauty within, and the shared experience that reveal it all to them.

So all the philosophizing in the world, and all the sage generalizations and observations will not, and cannot, explain why some marriages are done right. Only a real effort to understand, and to accurately and fully observe and learn from those who "do it right" can ever make us understand the real and best and probably the ONLY way to wed successfully.

Haughtiness and cynicism are the common and usually recommended attitude in our culture today. Is it any wonder why and how they yield the results they do in marriages?

And I've known others through the years who married the "wrong woman," but "made do" with them simply because they saw beyond their own needs and desires, and simply chose to not break up the family. The cost of breaking up the family CAN indeed be, in many more instances than we find satisfying to admit, a bigger loss than living with a sometimes contentious woman. But today, that's not the prevailing sentiment so ..... we have what we've got in this land now.

Our attitudes and intentions DO have consequences, whether we like to deal with that or not. And none probably have more consequences than selecting the person we wed. There's a REASON weddings are and always have been "for life," and there are consequences for breaking that vow. Many now won't even take that vow at the altar. Is it any wonder why those marriages tend to fail in 10 yrs. or less, so commonly?

So like salvation, it's a choice, and one only we can make for our own individual selves. And how we make that decision, and the reasons we make it, are some of the most consequential decisions we can make in this life. I am all the time seeing at our local college, young women going to and from classes, and to work (over half have jobs here), and they run the full gamut from real beauties to what some would classify as "dogs." But you know what? If you look at the expressions on those "dog's" faces, you'll often (no, not always, but often) find the most pleasant smiles and the most overt good will that you could ever hope to find.

But those girls are the kind that are typically overlooked as "not pretty enough," or "not willing enough," or any number of other things. Many of us cut ourselves off from many of the truly good women available simply because of our "taste" in women. Seeking outward beauty often leads us to women who work at it diligently to even obsessively, and when their beauty starts to fade, they can become monsters to live with. A woman who doesn't love and respect herself, CANNOT love and respect her mate. This has been proven so true so often that it's pretty much a given.

Seek out the woman who'll LAST, and you'll find happiness WAY beyond that that the overpreened beauties could ever have to offer you.

Don't believe it? Start noticing when you're out to eat, all the old folks whose looks have long ago faded, and yet, they still quietly hold hands while walking to their cars. If that doesn't make an impression on you, and make the true and valid point relevant, I know of nothing that can help you. And it'll ALWAYS be YOUR decision. Make it wisely or you'll wind up being sorry. It's really just that simple.

[dg31872]

I got a good'un. My best friend. First and only wife.
This morning she encouraged me to buy enough powder and primers to last more than the next twenty years or so.
Forty-four years and going strong.
I think I will go give her a hug.

[smokeywolf]

They are out there. Mrs. smokeywolf has recommended the same thing. A rational thinking no nonsense woman is a rare treasure.

[fatelk]

I am content with my life. Can you not see that you are using shaming language to keep me in line with societal norms? Why do you feel you need to do this with people who disagree with you or have made different choices in life?

The thing that bothers me most is we have been told for decades everyone is equal but there are two sets of rules and all I see is men being screwed in divorce court. Unfortunately even some men seem to think this is ok. I also see women get preferential treatment in hiring for jobs.

I think he was responding to your earlier post where you insinuated that all men either wished they hadn't married, or disingenuously defend marriage while secretly wishing they were single. Those of us who are happily married are simply left to assume that some bitterness from a bad experience causes you to assert that when it's clearly and demonstrably not true. No offense intended; to each their own.

Your second statement there I have to agree with. I'm a believer in equality, but you can't have your cake and eat it to. A friend of mine went through a bad divorce and was clearly mistreated by the court in regards to his children.

Winchester85, I feel for you man. I have friends who've gone through bad stuff. No matter who's fault, it just sucks. I know you posted to vent. Sounds like she was using you for; intentionally or not- I've known women who don't know WHAT they want and there's just no pleasing them no matter what you do.

[shoot-n-lead]

Well, guys, despite all the apt comments and observations seen here, I got a really good lesson today in the power of real and abiding love, and in grace, when applied to marriage. My ol' truck was not wanting to crank, and was getting balky, so after a doc's appt., I drove straight to my chosen service center. It's run by an older lady who goes to my church, and a more cheerful, honest and very dedicated lady, and they have won "Best in Town" awards for auto services for I think it's 8 straight years here. I think the college vote puts them over the top in that, because they treat these young and often financially challenged people as if they were their own children, and always deal fairly and honestly with everyone. A middle aged black man and his very neat young son were there, waiting on their car to be worked on.

But Kay had decided to take a little vacation - a rare thing for this "nose to the grindstone" lady, and her relatives, who had run the business at a different location more in the center of town for many years, were covering for her in her absence. They knew the ropes and were the most trustworthy folks to have picked to do these duties. They'd also been my previous service folks for over 30 years, and never once disappointed me. They weren't the lowest prices available, but they were so reliable and trustworthy, and always looked for things developing and kept me abreast of them before they became big problems, that for me, it was a real no-brainer to use them nearly exclusively. When they weren't the best available to do a certain job, they had zero compunctions or hesitance about referring me to someone they'd trust THEIR OWN vehicles to. So there's a whole lotta' trust and confirmation over many years in dealing with these great folks. I was surprised, and very happily so, to see Woody and his wife and partner Pat there today, and we had a very nice conversation.

Woody is a tall, slender, freckled fellow with unruly, curly reddish brown hair. He's as humble as an old shoe, but possessed (typical of redheads?) of a temper if you make him display it. Kay is now white haired, and seems a bit boisterous in mannerism if you meet her for the first time. But it's just her outgoing and unrestrained love and respect coming out, after you've come to know her. She used to have very dark brown to black hair, and is built like a two litre coke bottle. Neither would win a prize for beauty.

But that doesn't matter, because they love each other dearly and trust each other implicitly, and support each other unrelentingly. They're both so honest, that if one makes a mistake and someone gets bent out of shape about it, they won't try to claim it wasn't a mistake, but they'll try to explain the sorce of the mistake, and do their best to "make it right," even when the person who's complaining just seems to want to rant and rave or get the work done for free. Occasionally, if they're insistent, they'll tell the customer to go and they owe nothing, even though they know full well they're owed significant money. They just don't want to worry themselves about money they can replace. Consequently, due to their character, they actually had to turn away as many customers as they accepted the work for. They had so many "regulars" that they had a very hard time just keeping those folks' vehicles up. And if you EVER crossed one, you'd best be prepared to deal with them both, because they were NOT shy about taking up for each other. But they always did it very rationally, even in the midst of ever increasing emotions and unwarranted accusations.

THIS, my friends, is what it means to be "one flesh." And few actually achieve this kind of relationship, simply because that's never what most are even aiming at when they wed. Most folks wed for the "good times" and for youthful looks, that always fade over time. And when a woman has been wed for her looks, and they always know this, when their looks start to fade, they become defensive and disagreeable, and the fight is on, and usually works its way to a separation/divorce. Their expectations of each other is what seems to always cause this. Had there been more rational and reasonable expectations, and more seeking of real love and respect instead of merely passion in the bedroom, many relationships would wind up MUCH better than they do now, when I believe the % of successful marriages over time is now below 50%.

We get what we plan for, in short. Woody and Pat were a genuine pleasure to deal with, and always inspiring and motivating people to just talk with. THEY are the kind of folks who do it right. When they go to bed together, the shared experience, love and trust and respect, makes each look beautiful, literally, to the other. They simply have "eyes" to see beyond the outer surface, and to see the beauty within, and the shared experience that reveal it all to them.

So all the philosophizing in the world, and all the sage generalizations and observations will not, and cannot, explain why some marriages are done right. Only a real effort to understand, and to accurately and fully observe and learn from those who "do it right" can ever make us understand the real and best and probably the ONLY way to wed successfully.

Haughtiness and cynicism are the common and usually recommended attitude in our culture today. Is it any wonder why and how they yield the results they do in marriages?

And I've known others through the years who married the "wrong woman," but "made do" with them simply because they saw beyond their own needs and desires, and simply chose to not break up the family. The cost of breaking up the family CAN indeed be, in many more instances than we find satisfying to admit, a bigger loss than living with a sometimes contentious woman. But today, that's not the prevailing sentiment so ..... we have what we've got in this land now.

Our attitudes and intentions DO have consequences, whether we like to deal with that or not. And none probably have more consequences than selecting the person we wed. There's a REASON weddings are and always have been "for life," and there are consequences for breaking that vow. Many now won't even take that vow at the altar. Is it any wonder why those marriages tend to fail in 10 yrs. or less, so commonly?

So like salvation, it's a choice, and one only we can make for our own individual selves. And how we make that decision, and the reasons we make it, are some of the most consequential decisions we can make in this life. I am all the time seeing at our local college, young women going to and from classes, and to work (over half have jobs here), and they run the full gamut from real beauties to what some would classify as "dogs." But you know what? If you look at the expressions on those "dog's" faces, you'll often (no, not always, but often) find the most pleasant smiles and the most overt good will that you could ever hope to find.

But those girls are the kind that are typically overlooked as "not pretty enough," or "not willing enough," or any number of other things. Many of us cut ourselves off from many of the truly good women available simply because of our "taste" in women. Seeking outward beauty often leads us to women who work at it diligently to even obsessively, and when their beauty starts to fade, they can become monsters to live with. A woman who doesn't love and respect herself, CANNOT love and respect her mate. This has been proven so true so often that it's pretty much a given.

Seek out the woman who'll LAST, and you'll find happiness WAY beyond that that the overpreened beauties could ever have to offer you.

Don't believe it? Start noticing when you're out to eat, all the old folks whose looks have long ago faded, and yet, they still quietly hold hands while walking to their cars. If that doesn't make an impression on you, and make the true and valid point relevant, I know of nothing that can help you. And it'll ALWAYS be YOUR decision. Make it wisely or you'll wind up being sorry. It's really just that simple.

Really?

[Walkingwolf]

And how many years did it take you to learn this lesson?

I learned that women are bat-excrement crazy even before I ever dated one, just by watching how much my mother made my father's life miserable. And she wasn't anywhere near as bat-excrement crazy as some of the women I have seen.

Women just think *differently*... :(

Women think just like men, the difference is they can put more spin on their actions.

[Idaho45guy]

There is only 2 ways of dealing with women.
Neither of them work

I am with my 2nd. 14 years now. When we got together I was making good money and she wasnt. Niw for a lot of reasons I am making s**t for money and she is doing really well. Frankly I couldnt afford to live without her. But here in the last 5 years or so I not only cant do anything right, she is on me on a weekly basis about getting a better job and how disappointed she is in me. Never occures to her to support ad/or help me....just put me down.

She is older than me and close to retiring. She will get money from her Dad once her Mom passes away so she is set for life. Me, I am going to have to work till the day I die and that is either A. Not what she wants (me working) or B. Not near enough money. I cant win. I am lazy and no good. But ask anyone at work and I am the hardest working guy around...I very typically outwork younger guys.

It messes with my mind (depression and self worth) sometimes, but I cant throw her out. I wouldnt be able to pay the bills and taxes. I try very consciously to support her in all things - especially work stress. She doesnt treat me the same way. So I am as they say...in that rock and a hard place. Stuck.

Sorry to hear that dude. It helps to get it off your chest and vent. I've done it many times. My ex was like your current wife, only she wasn't so direct about her put downs. She would say things like, "Debbie's husband got promoted today. She's so lucky to have such a driven husband that is successful... But I'll still love you no matter what". Just real passive aggressive stuff. Of course, everyone knew that Debbie's husband was banging some college girl waitress, but, whatever...

Maybe your wife doesn't realize just how much of a nasty b-word she is being. If she does and doesn't care, then she ain't worth worrying about. Mean, nasty, selfish people aren't worth even thinking about.

My little brother was physically handicapped but a great guy and well-liked by everyone. One night at a college party, he was drinking and told a girl he had had a crush on her for a while. She responded by saying she would never date a freak like him. He ended up committing suicide that night.

Nope, mean nasty people aren't worth the time or trouble.

[Idaho45guy]

I'm wondering why you bothered to put something like this on the forum. This isn't Dear Abby. Please let everyone know what religion you're a member of so we can be sure to avoid that particular congregation of bitter and mean-spirited folks.

[Markbo]

Thanks Idaho...that's all I was doing, venting. I have come to understand that as long as she has the financial upperhand I am stuck. If I can get back up that financial ladder - even a little over what I have now I could swing it and would probably make an ultimatum.

[NavyVet1959]

Women think just like men, the difference is they can put more spin on their actions.

Yeah, more spin -- like the difference between a dust devil and a level 5 tornado... :)

http://media2.abc15.com/photo/2016/04/20/knxv%20dirtnado%20dirt%20dust%20devil_146118729630 6_36631730_ver1.0_640_480.jpg

vs....

http://www.tornadochaser.net/photo/hesston1990.jpg

[SteveS]

Interesting thread. It reminds me of a very loose knit group of men that call themselves MGTOW, Men Going Their Own Way.

Youtube has many "MGTOW" channels. Check out "Heartbern", "Sandman", "SmokeRingsandPipeDreams" and many others.

Too many men base their life around women.

[bdicki]

Interesting thread. It reminds me of a very loose knit group of men that call themselves MGTOW, Men Going Their Own Way.

Youtube has many "MGTOW" channels. Check out "Heartbern", "Sandman", "SmokeRingsandPipeDreams" and many others.

Too many men base their life around women.
http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t182/bdicki/index_zpsstvvsnyh.jpg

[Char-Gar]

I find the general direction of this thread to be disconcerting. It displays a general lack of understanding about the difference between women and men. Women are quite difference from men in their approach to life, relationships and about everything else in life as well. Women are FEEL - think and men are THINK-feel. Both genders are capable of critical thinking and deep emotional feelings, but the order of importance is turned around according to the gender. The women lead with their feelings and follow with thinking and men do it the other way around.

About 90% of the problems between men and women stem from the fact that men expect women to see thing like them, and women expect men to see things like them. This is the root cause of disagreement, conflict and angry between couples.

A successful relationship is based on each partner allow the other pardner to be what they are. I don't want to be married to a man, I want to be married to a woman, and that means I must allow her to be different from me. Once, I don't feel threatened by the differences and don't allow them to be sources of conflict, things smooth out and the differences can become a source of joy and not source of conflict.

So guys, stop judging women, because they are not like you and life will improve greatly. I tell women the same thing.

[Smoke4320]

I find the general direction of this thread to be disconcerting. It displays a general lack of understanding about the difference between women and men. Women are quite difference from men in their approach to life, relationships and about everything else in life as well. Women are FEEL - think and men are THINK-feel. Both genders are capable of critical thinking and deep emotional feelings, but the order of importance is turned around according to the gender. The women lead with their feelings and follow with thinking and men do it the other way around.

About 90% of the problems between men and women stem from the fact that men expect women to see thing like them, and women expect men to see things like them. This is the root cause of disagreement, conflict and angry between couples.

A successful relationship is based on each partner allow the other pardner to be what they are. I don't want to be married to a man, I want to be married to a woman, and that means I must allow her to be different from me. Once, I don't feel threatened by the differences and don't allow them to be sources of conflict, things smooth out and the differences can become a source of joy and not source of conflict.

So guys, stop judging women, because they are not like you and life will improve greatly. I tell women the same thing.

Char Gar
Your dead on . Been married 38 years .. She lets me be me and I let her be her .. we are around each other nearly 24/7 Except during hunting season (which starts in 2 weeks YEA)
sure some times we knock heads... a blow up here and there But it always comes back to respecting the others opinions and views

[Blackwater]

Really?

Really. Real answers are almost always pretty simple. The more "ifs" and "wherefores" there are, the more they demonstrate our wills are wanting to govern our intellects. The kicker in the game is that women sometimes act one way when dealing with a suitor, and another everywhere else. When we forget the "everywhere else" part, and convince ourselves that she's what she's pretending to be to us, her suitor, we err, but it's a willful erring - a deception of our own selves that what we WANT to think is really true. It's very hard NOT to do that, of course, but .... nobody said life well lived was easy, did they?

Controlling one's emotions, and the thoughts that enter us to justify giving in to them, is a constant struggle, and none of us defeats it always. We win some, lose some, and some are rained out. But the struggle between heart and head is always with us.

In picking a mate, some good things to consider and weigh are what her mom is like, who does she hang around with and what are they like (sometimes you can tell more about a person by who she hangs out with than what she'll show you if she's interested in you), and what her usual habits are. Does she consistently seek to pleas herself? Is she OK with giving to others in a real way (not just offering PC condolences and advice)? People will reveal themselves to us if we just pay attention. Get out of that daze that passion always creates, and you won't say "I wish I'd noticed (fill in the blank)" after the relationship goes south. This can be nigh onto impossible when the passions are strong, but .... it's still the only real intelligent thing to do. It can be difficult to keep a ship's keel and rudder straight when going through a storm, but the price for NOT doing so is great. It's the same in life.

[dtknowles]

Char Gar
Your dead on . Been married 38 years .. She lets me be me and I let her be her .. we are around each other nearly 24/7 Except during hunting season (which starts in 2 weeks YEA)
sure some times we knock heads... a blow up here and there But it always comes back to respecting the others opinions and views

In a good relationship the blow up's and such are rarely due to a lack of respect. None of us is perfect and I am sure I can annoy even a Saint, I can tolerate a lot myself but venting and clearing the air can be important.

Does your partner truly care about you and love you? Do you truly care about your partner and love your partner? If those are not both a yes good luck, it will be rough and probably not work. If you are in it just for yourself you will be punished.

Tim

[Char-Gar]

In a good relationship the blow up's and such are rarely due to a lack of respect. None of us is perfect and I am sure I can annoy even a Saint, I can tolerate a lot myself but venting and clearing the air can be important.

Does your partner truly care about you and love you? Do you truly care about your partner and love your partner? If those are not both a yes good luck, it will be rough and probably not work. If you are in it just for yourself you will be punished.

Tim

Good Lord Tim, that is girl thinking. All you need is love!

There is no standard definition of love and it is such a vague and nebulous concept as to have no value in conversation. Ask a 100 women what love is and you will get at least 75 different answers. Ask 100 men what love is and you will get another 75 answer, none of which will be be on the women's list.

[dtknowles]

Good Lord Tim, that is girl thinking. All you need is love!

There is no standard definition of love and it is such a vague and nebulous concept as to have no value in conversation. Ask a 100 women what love is and you will get at least 75 different answers. Ask 100 men what love is and you will get another 75 answer, none of which will be be on the women's list.

Do you deny that Love exists? Do you love your kids? Would you make incredible sacrifices for your Kids? Would you sacrifice as much for your Wife? If I could explain Love then I would be doing something nobody else has been able to do. If your marriage is not one based on Love and a willingness to make great sacrifices then it might not last. If your partner would not make huge sacrifices for you then you have the wrong partner. Would you spend everything you have and could borrow to save your wife's life?

Would you sell all your guns and reloading stuff to help kids or your wife if times were hard?

Tim

[Piedmont]

I think he was responding to your earlier post where you insinuated that all men either wished they hadn't married, or disingenuously defend marriage while secretly wishing they were single. Those of us who are happily married are simply left to assume that some bitterness from a bad experience causes you to assert that when it's clearly and demonstrably not true. No offense intended; to each their own.

Thank you. That makes sense.

[OS OK]

179050

[BAGTIC]

"Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas" Of course who decided to lie down in the first place and who chose with whom to lie? Is it reasonable to condemn all women because of your poor judgment. All stories have two sides, it would be interesting to hear the woman's side as well.

"If we could kick in the butt those most responsible for most of our life troubles we would not be able to sit for a week".

[Char-Gar]

179050

The Greek word behind that is "agape", which has nothing to do with emotion. There are three Greek words that are translated into English as "love". Here they are...

Eros...from which the English word erotic is derived. This word can also be used for strong passionate feelings like love of country. This word is not found in the NT. This word has strong emotional content.

Philias...This is a word used for the feelings toward those which are near and dear to us. It can be family or it can be friends. It is used in the NT a few times.

Agape. This is the standard NT word for "love" and the word behind the above passage. This words means extreme benevolence. Wanting for others the things you would want for yourself. This is the level of caring to which the NT is called.

The principal difference between these words are emotion. Eros and Philias are summoned up by emotion. There are feelings over which we have little control. One the other hand Agape is a choice, a decision we make. We choose to act toward all, desiring for them only their highest and best good.

Quite often, couple have asked me to read the great love passage you quoted at weddings. I do as they ask, but I know it has nothing to do their relationship as husband and wife.

[OS OK]

The Greek word behind that is "agape", which has nothing to do with emotion. There are three Greek words that are translated into English as "love". Here they are...

Eros...from which the English word erotic is derived. This word can also be used for strong passionate feelings like love of country. This word is not found in the NT. This word has strong emotional content.

Philias...This is a word used for the feelings toward those which are near and dear to us. It can be family or it can be friends. It is used in the NT a few times.

Agape. This is the standard NT word for "love" and the word behind the above passage. This words means extreme benevolence. Wanting for others the things you would want for yourself. This is the level of caring to which the NT is called.

The principal difference between these words are emotion. Eros and Philias are summoned up by emotion. There are feelings over which we have little control. One the other hand Agape is a choice, a decision we make. We choose to act toward all, desiring for them only their highest and best good.

Quite often, couple have asked me to read the great love passage you quoted at weddings. I do as they ask, but I know it has nothing to do their relationship as husband and wife.

Outstanding translation and commentary here but...could you expound some on why you believe this in bold above?
With the following attitude towards love...Wanting for others the things you would want for yourself.....why wouldn't this aspect be central between young loving couples?

[Char-Gar]

Outstanding translation and commentary here but...could you expound some on why you believe this in bold above?
With the following attitude towards love...Wanting for others the things you would want for yourself.....why wouldn't this aspect be central between young loving couples?

I would agree with you 100% that is is central in any relationship that works long term. Some may call it "respect" and others may call it "caring", some call it "love", it goes by many names.

When young couple come to be married, they are in a gush and tide of emotion for each other. They just have to have each other. Some of this is sexual attractions among people with high hormone levels and some of it is all kind of emotional needs projected on the other person. But there is seldom any mature Christian Agape in the mix. Note, I said seldom, I did not say never, for I have known it to happen.

A real marriage starts, when the early emotion wears off, as it surely will, when two people live together over time. At that point, commitment to the relationship, will lead to agape love and perhaps an even deeper emotional connection based on mature feelings.

Unfortunately, many people never come to a mature relationship with their spouse. They either head for the divorce court or lock down in some kind of living with the enemy relationship. Many never learn and repeat the same scenario over and over.

Again, you are correct that this agape concept is needed in a marriage, but at the wedding, they are only thinking as far as hormones and their needs. The needs of the other party are very much in the back of the room.

A good marriage is the product of commitment, respect and hard work. But, once you are on the other side of the early bad times, it is one of the greatest things on earth.

I have presided at over 500 weddings and have tried to help many more couples that 500, patch up a marriage that is on the rocks. Some make it over the rocky patch and many do not. Mostly they are too busy blaming the other spouse, to take a hard look at their part in the problem. It takes two to make a good marriage, but only one to make a bad marriage.

[OS OK]

Yes...I agree, It's like we fall in lust and if we are lucky and it lasts long enough, treat each other with respect and become best friends...maybe we'll fall in love somewhere down the road. Successful marriages don't come with a license and a pair of gold bands...they take some work, patience and unselfish understanding and commitment when the lust fades away...

[dtknowles]

I would agree with you 100% that is is central in any relationship that works long term. Some may call it "respect" and others may call it "caring", some call it "love", it goes by many names.

When young couple come to be married, they are in a gush and tide of emotion for each other. They just have to have each other. Some of this is sexual attractions among people with high hormone levels and some of it is all kind of emotional needs projected on the other person. But there is seldom any mature Christian Agape in the mix. Note, I said seldom, I did not say never, for I have known it to happen.

A real marriage starts, when the early emotion wears off, as it surely will, when two people live together over time. At that point, commitment to the relationship, will lead to agape love and perhaps an even deeper emotional connection based on mature feelings.

Unfortunately, many people never come to a mature relationship with their spouse. They either head for the divorce court or lock down in some kind of living with the enemy relationship. Many never learn and repeat the same scenario over and over.

Again, you are correct that this agape concept is needed in a marriage, but at the wedding, they are only thinking as far as hormones and their needs. The needs of the other party are very much in the back of the room.

A good marriage is the product of commitment, respect and hard work. But, once you are on the other side of the early bad times, it is one of the greatest things on earth.

I have presided at over 500 weddings and have tried to help many more couples that 500, patch up a marriage that is on the rocks. Some make it over the rocky patch and many do not. Mostly they are too busy blaming the other spouse, to take a hard look at their part in the problem. It takes two to make a good marriage, but only one to make a bad marriage.

Do you only marry young people? My first marriage I was 32 years old and had been living with my wife and kids for more than a year. My second marriage I was 56 years old and had been living with her for more than 2 years. Christians might call me an adulterer but Marriage is too important to be decided by hormones or desire for Sex or Children. Certainly don't get married just because you got knocked up.

Christian, Jewish or Muslim definition's of Adultery are flawed and troublesome.

Tim

[Ickisrulz]

Do you only marry young people? My first marriage I was 32 years old and had been living with my wife and kids for more than a year. My second marriage I was 56 years old and had been living with her for more than 2 years. Christians might call me an adulterer but Marriage is too important to be decided by hormones or desire for Sex or Children. Certainly don't get married just because you got knocked up.

Christian, Jewish or Muslim definition's of Adultery are flawed and troublesome.

Tim

I the word would be fornicator. I don't see where adultery would have taken place unless you were married to someone else at the time.

While I have not lived a perfect life, it is easy to see where sexual activities outside of a committed relationship (what we call marriage) cause all sorts of problems. I won't even list them as I am sure you know what they are. The Christian ideas (i.e., don't do it) about fornication are justified and for our own good.

[dtknowles]

I the word would be fornicator. I don't see where adultery would have taken place unless you were married to someone else at the time.

While I have not lived a perfect life, it is easy to see where sexual activities outside of a committed relationship (what we call marriage) cause all sorts of problems. I won't even list them as I am sure you know what they are. The Christian ideas (i.e., don't do it) about fornication are justified and for our own good.

Adultery (anglicised (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglicised) from Latin (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin) adulterium) is extramarital sex (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extramarital_sex) that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral or legal grounds. Though what sexual activities (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexual_activity) constitute adultery varies, as well as the social, religious and legal consequences, the concept exists in many cultures and is similar in Islam (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam), Christianity (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity) and Judaism (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judaism).[1] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultery#cite_note-1)


adulteryThere are three types of adultery spoken of in the Bible (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/bible.html):


SEXUAL ADULTERY—“Conjugal infidelity. An adulterer was a man who had sexual intercourse with a woman he was not married (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/marriage.html) to, either a married woman (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/wife.html) or one who was engaged (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/betroth.html) to be married. A woman who did the same thing was an adulteress.
Adultery is fornication (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/fornication.html). The Bible regards adultery as a great sin (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/sin.html) and a great social wrong.
It has been inferred from John 8:1-11 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/john8.html) that this sin (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/sin.html) became very common during the age preceding the destruction of Jerusalem (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/jerusalem.html).”
Author: Matthew G. Easton.

ADULTERY WITHOUT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE—The Bible speaks of “wanton eyes (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/eye.html)” (Isa. 3:16 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/isa3.html#16)), “eyes (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/eye.html) full of adultery (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/adultery.html)” (2 Pet. 2:14 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/2pet2.html#14)), and “the lust (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/lust.html) of the eyes” (1 John 2:16 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/1john2.html#16)).
Jesus Christ (http://www.christiananswers.net/jesus/home.html) warned,

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/lust.html) after her has committed adultery (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/adultery.html) already with her in his heart.”
As with the breaking of any of the Ten Commandments (http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/commandments.html), those who are not washed (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/washing.html) in the blood (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/blood.html) of Jesus Christ (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/gospel.html) will have to pay the penalty (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/judgmentthefinal.html). They will not enter (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/eternaldeath.html) the Kingdom of God (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/kingdomofgod.html).
Punishment (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/punishment.html) for transgression of this Commandment (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/commandmentstheten.html) is the death penalty (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/punishment.html).
Author: Ray Comfort.

SPIRITUAL ADULTERY—Idolatry (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/idolatry.html), covetousness (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/covetousness.html), and apostasy are spoken of as spiritual adultery (Jer. 3:6 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/jer3.html#6), 8-9 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/jer3.html#8); Ezek. 16:32 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/ezek16.html#32); Hos. 1:2-3 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/hosea1.html#2); Rev. 2:22 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/rev2.html#22)). An apostate church (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/church.html) is an adulteress (Isa. 1:21 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/isa1.html#21); Ezek. 23:4 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/ezek23.html#4), 7 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/ezek23.html#7), 37 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/ezek23.html#37)), and the Jews (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/jew.html) are described “an adulterous generation” (Matt. 12:39 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/mat12.html#39)) (compare Rev. 12 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/rev12.html)).




I don't believe that the Christian ideas about fornication are justified and for our own good. I believe they do more harm than good and ignore the reality of the Human condition. The Puritanical Purity of the thinking leads to worse harm than the harm it desires to prevent. The Chauvinistic desire for Virgin Brides is one of the greatest evils perpetrated on humanity.

Tim

[Ickisrulz]

Adultery (anglicised (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglicised) from Latin (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin) adulterium) is extramarital sex (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extramarital_sex) that is considered objectionable on social, religious, moral or legal grounds. Though what sexual activities (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexual_activity) constitute adultery varies, as well as the social, religious and legal consequences, the concept exists in many cultures and is similar in Islam (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam), Christianity (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity) and Judaism (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judaism).[1] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultery#cite_note-1)


adultery

There are three types of adultery spoken of in the Bible (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/bible.html):


SEXUAL ADULTERY—“Conjugal infidelity. An adulterer was a man who had sexual intercourse with a woman he was not married (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/marriage.html) to, either a married woman (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/wife.html) or one who was engaged (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/betroth.html) to be married. A woman who did the same thing was an adulteress.
Adultery is fornication (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/fornication.html). The Bible regards adultery as a great sin (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/sin.html) and a great social wrong.
It has been inferred from John 8:1-11 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/john8.html) that this sin (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/sin.html) became very common during the age preceding the destruction of Jerusalem (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/jerusalem.html).”
Author: Matthew G. Easton.
ADULTERY WITHOUT SEXUAL INTERCOURSE—The Bible speaks of “wanton eyes (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/eye.html)” (Isa. 3:16 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/isa3.html#16)), “eyes (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/eye.html) full of adultery (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/adultery.html)” (2 Pet. 2:14 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/2pet2.html#14)), and “the lust (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/lust.html) of the eyes” (1 John 2:16 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/1john2.html#16)).
Jesus Christ (http://www.christiananswers.net/jesus/home.html) warned,
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/lust.html) after her has committed adultery (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/adultery.html) already with her in his heart.”

As with the breaking of any of the Ten Commandments (http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/commandments.html), those who are not washed (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/washing.html) in the blood (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/blood.html) of Jesus Christ (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/gospel.html) will have to pay the penalty (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/judgmentthefinal.html). They will not enter (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/eternaldeath.html) the Kingdom of God (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/kingdomofgod.html).
Punishment (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/punishment.html) for transgression of this Commandment (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/commandmentstheten.html) is the death penalty (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/punishment.html).
Author: Ray Comfort.
SPIRITUAL ADULTERY—Idolatry (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/idolatry.html), covetousness (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/covetousness.html), and apostasy are spoken of as spiritual adultery (Jer. 3:6 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/jer3.html#6), 8-9 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/jer3.html#8); Ezek. 16:32 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/ezek16.html#32); Hos. 1:2-3 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/hosea1.html#2); Rev. 2:22 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/rev2.html#22)). An apostate church (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/church.html) is an adulteress (Isa. 1:21 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/isa1.html#21); Ezek. 23:4 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/ezek23.html#4), 7 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/ezek23.html#7), 37 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/ezek23.html#37)), and the Jews (http://www.christiananswers.net/dictionary/jew.html) are described “an adulterous generation” (Matt. 12:39 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/mat12.html#39)) (compare Rev. 12 (http://www.christiananswers.net/bible/rev12.html)).

I don't believe that the Christian ideas about fornication are justified and for our own good. I believe they do more harm than good and ignore the reality of the Human condition. The Puritanical Purity of the thinking leads to worse harm than the harm it desires to prevent. The Chauvinistic desire for Virgin Brides is one of the greatest evils perpetrated on humanity.

Tim

The Bible makes clear distinctions between adultery and fornication. Two different words with two different meanings and ideas. You have to be married or engaged to be married in order to commit adultery. Fornication is simply sex without being married.

Since Israel was in a unique and special relationship with God, deviations from the Covenant were often expressed as betrayal akin to adultery in a marriage.

So you think it's a good idea for men and women to have sexual relationships whenever they feel like without the need for serious commitment? This is where many of those single parent homes come from not to mention diseases and the emotional toll on one or both partners.

The Bible doesn't ignore the human condition. It recognizes human needs and desires, but puts restrictions on them. If you want sex, get married and have all the sex you and your spouse agree to have. In fact the Bible says one of the reasons to get married is because you want to have sex.

[NavyVet1959]

The Chauvinistic desire for Virgin Brides is one of the greatest evils perpetrated on humanity.

Never understood the desire for virgins. They tend to be clingy and like brand new cars, they were more likely to have unresolved manufacturing defects in addition to that initial accelerated depreciation aspect. I much preferred ones that were just low mileage. :twisted:

[dtknowles]

......................So you think it's a good idea for men and women to have sexual relationships whenever they feel like without the need for serious commitment? This is where many of those single parent homes come from not to mention diseases and the emotional toll on one or both partners.

The Bible doesn't ignore the human condition. It recognizes human needs and desires, but puts restrictions on them. If you want sex, get married and have all the sex you and your spouse agree to have. In fact the Bible says one of the reasons to get married is because you want to have sex.

No I do not "think that it's a good idea for men and women to have sexual relationships whenever they feel like without the need for serious commitment" The conditions where I believe it is ok to have a sexual relationship outside of Marriage are limited and do require a commitment to the relationship and to the need to use birth control. Getting Married just so you can have sex is one of the stupidest ideas of all times. Just like be fruitful and multiply, it is just to propagate the faithful, it disregards what is good for the individual.

Tim

[Ickisrulz]

Getting Married just so you can have sex is one of the stupidest ideas of all times.
Tim

I didn't say to get married "just so you can have sex." I said it was one of the reasons to get married. It is one of the "pros" if you are making a list of "pros and cons." This is, of course, from a biblical Christian perspective.

Couples are not required to have children. The idea of "be fruitful and multiply" is for living creatures in general. Not to each person specifically. Some people should not have children and we are smart enough to limit the potential.

[dtknowles]

I didn't say to get married "just so you can have sex." I said it was one of the reasons to get married. It is one of the "pros" if you are making a list of "pros and cons." This is, of course, from a biblical Christian perspective.

Couples are not required to have children. The idea of "be fruitful and multiply" is for living creatures in general. Not to each person specifically. Some people should not have children and we are smart enough to limit the potential.

We don't seem to be smart enough as the wrong people are having the most children.

Most people have children for very selfish reasons.

Having sex does not have to be a pro or con of being married, you can have sex without being married and you can be married and not have sex. Being married is a life long commitment to another person, to be there for them and them to be there for you. Some Religions do not consider it a marriage if it isn't consummated by Sex. That seems very narrow minded to me. Religions seem to be designed to expand the flock as a top priority.

Sex, Love and Procreation, while intertwined can be and are often separated. You can love people without a sexual relationship and you can have a sexual relationship without love or procreation and now you can Procreate without sex.

If you have them all in one package and it is what you want that is probably a good thing but it is not the only right way. If the only person you love is the one you have sex with that is sad.

Tim

[Down South]

What women have taught me!They never forget any mistake that you have ever made. I've been married 45 yrs in a few months and my wife can remember every word I've said out of line, every mistake I've ever made, every time that I've been drunk, Etc. But she can't remember to put the clothes in the dryer after they wash.

[Blackwater]

Those who have their own ideas about the propriety of un-Biblical sex are pleasing their OWN wills, and merely seeking rationalizations to do what they want, and NOT really thinking about the issue in a truly intellectually honest manner. It is so plain and clear that there's really no need to go into the reasons here. Those who seek rationalizations to vary from the best advice and counsel mankind has ever been given, will simply do so, for whatever reasons they choose. Those who are intellectually honest about it, will recognize the validity of the Bible's advice and counsel on sex, and any other matter, will comprehend it simply because they're seeking the real and accurate answers, and not simply trying to rationalize and excuse their passions and wills. So be it. It's a choice, and folks have been making those decisions for millenea, using all manner of reasons for "breaking the rules" that have consistently been proven for millenea. No, it doesn't serve what we often WANT, but that does NOT mean it's not the best and most productive advice we'll ever receive. So break the rules if you wish, but if you ever take note of the facts, you'll note that those who comply with the rules have MUCH better relationships that last MUCH longer than those who don't. That's really the acid test for any theory or philosophy - just observe what results when folks follow it. Back in the 60's it was "do it if it feels good." Lives were degraded and even ruined by that, and it wasn't very uncommon to see it happen. So make up your own mind and do as you will. It's a personal choice, and folks have been following their wills instead of the best advice they could receive for many, many years - about as long as man has walked this planet, actually. But if one takes notice of the actual results of each philosophy, one might do a little wondering why all the alternate theories and philosophies just don't work as well as they're "supposed to." YMMV, but that's the way it simply is. Make your own rules at your own peril. You get one life to live, and it can never be reversed. There ARE no "second chances," only possible course corrections. Period.

[Alvarez Kelly]

I have enjoyed reading most of this thread. Until I got to page 6. Then it changed into something else entirely.

Anyway... there have been some great observations here. In my experience, it seems I never really knew her... I thought I did...

I have to agree with many posters... many women seem to just think differently than I do. I can't generalize any further than that.

I'll just leave it at that.

[2ndAmendmentNut]

no worry about kids with this one, her daughter is a year older than me.

If I read that sentence correctly, she was way older than you. You were a play thing for her, there is no way that could have worked in the long run. I am sorry to hear you got burned, but not all women are bad. Lots of good advice has been posted. I wish you all the best. Honestly I can't really add much. I have been happily married for 6-years. One of our strengths is our common religion, it makes us look at the big picture and not our own selfish desires.

Just to touch on what another member posted about married guys not wanting to get married again. If something terrible happened to my wife I would be beside myself with grief. Honestly, I could stand to be married again, but I will never repeat a wedding. The planing and paying for the wedding (father in-law didn't like me much) was brutal.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[.30 Rem]

After 46 years of ups and downs I can say that I never really appreciated my wife until she died last winter. She was not easy to live with, but life without her is unbearable. I know she was the best thing I ever had, not perfect but we needed each other, and I'm lost without her. She was one of the good ones.

[Blackwater]

One thing this thread has certainly done, is it's surely revealed that we're not a group of namby pamby folks who've never faced adversities here! So at least we have a better and more accurate perspective of each other here. When I was doing some counseling for offenders, I found it was pretty easy to see what was causing the problems when on the outside "looking in." The answers kind'a jumped out at you, really. But the folks going through it were generally so blinded by their own wills and desires, that they couldn't see the obvious.

I suspect this is why we get ourselves in real tights sometimes - simply blinding ourselves, using our emotions and desires to block out what we don't want to consider, can really hurt us. And it's often the last thing we look to for an explanation for why things work out as they do. Very seldom do bad things happen, except in case of unanticipatable accidents, where we don't have a hand in making the situation bad for our own selves. I know from personal experience that it's usually long afterward, when we're no longer caught up in the emotions of the matter, that we can finally see things as they actually were, and find our mistake in it all. It's just how the emotions can work when we let them overwhelm them. That old saying "Once burnt, a lesson learnt" sometimes takes a while to set in, but if we're honest at our core, I think we've all had some experience in fooling our own selves. Admitting it? Sometimes, not so much. And as the old sage said, "That's life."

[shaner]

What women have taught me!They never forget any mistake that you have ever made. I've been married 45 yrs in a few months and my wife can remember every word I've said out of line, every mistake I've ever made, every time that I've been drunk, Etc. But she can't remember to put the clothes in the dryer after they wash.
Ohhhhhhhhh yes they can!

Sent from my SCH-I435 using Tapatalk

[shaner]

After 46 years of ups and downs I can say that I never really appreciated my wife until she died last winter. She was not easy to live with, but life without her is unbearable. I know she was the best thing I ever had, not perfect but we needed each other, and I'm lost without her. She was one of the good ones.
I lost the love of my life a year ago Aug. I understand where you are. They tell you that it get easier. And in some ways I guess it does? But so far with me it's there everyday . Best of luck with it

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[fatelk]

I lost the love of my life a year ago Aug. I understand where you are. They tell you that it get easier. And in some ways I guess it does? But so far with me it's there everyday . Best of luck with it
I'm so sorry for your loss, both of you guys. A friend of mine lost his wife to cancer earlier this year. He says he misses her every moment of every day. I don't think there's anything I can say except that I'm so sorry. That is probably my greatest fear in life. My wife and my kids are absolutely everything to me.


I have enjoyed reading most of this thread. Until I got to page 6.
Page six went off the rails a bit didn't it, started getting a little pit-worthy? :) Nothing against opinions, values, religion (or anti-religion, as the case may be), but after a point I don't think we're making any converts either way. (For the record, I like Char-Gar's posts particularly; you seem to have some wisdom in this area!)


it's surely revealed that we're not a group of namby pamby folks who've never faced adversities here!
No doubt on that. Like sucks sometimes. My wife and I were talking recently about all we've been through in the last decade or so especially: multiple illnesses, deaths in the family, lay-offs and moving for work, more sickness and surgeries. It's been tough but we're OK. I can't imagine going through all that without the relationship we have.

This subject is one of the most important things that I want my kids to have a positive and realistic understanding of as they grow up, so they can hopefully avoid a lot of common problems. I know they'll get to a point soon (more than now) where they make their own choices and have their own opinions. I hope to give them some guidance so they have some understanding going into this minefield that can screw up your life so much.

1. Choose wisely. Don't get hung up on a pretty face and attractive body. Those things are truly of minor importance in the long run. Things like character and shared values, goals, and faith are of infinitely more importance.
2. Don't get bitten by the "love bug". Don't waste your time and tear yourself up pursuing someone who's not into you or is stringing you along. Just don't. There really are lots of other fish in the sea. Boy oh boy, how I learned the hard way on that one. I don't want to see any of my kids go down that road.
3. "Soulmates" are made, not born. Don't fall for that Hollywood myth.
4. Don't listen to the garbage our culture says about sex. It's less, and it's more. If you make important life decisions with the wrong organ, you'll almost certainly regret it in the long run.

I know, I know, when you're young and have raging hormones, advice from old fogies may not be terribly influential, especially when all your friends are doing otherwise and society's advice is different. I can't lock them away from the world, but I hope to influence them so they can make some good decisions and avoid some bad pitfalls.


Successful marriages don't come with a license and a pair of gold bands...they take some work, patience and unselfish understanding and commitment when the lust fades away...
You got that right! I think that makes a good #5 to my list. :)

[Parson]

The Greek word behind that is "agape", which has nothing to do with emotion. There are three Greek words that are translated into English as "love". Here they are...

Eros...from which the English word erotic is derived. This word can also be used for strong passionate feelings like love of country. This word is not found in the NT. This word has strong emotional content.

Philias...This is a word used for the feelings toward those which are near and dear to us. It can be family or it can be friends. It is used in the NT a few times.

Agape. This is the standard NT word for "love" and the word behind the above passage. This words means extreme benevolence. Wanting for others the things you would want for yourself. This is the level of caring to which the NT is called.

The principal difference between these words are emotion. Eros and Philias are summoned up by emotion. There are feelings over which we have little control. One the other hand Agape is a choice, a decision we make. We choose to act toward all, desiring for them only their highest and best good.

Quite often, couple have asked me to read the great love passage you quoted at weddings. I do as they ask, but I know it has nothing to do their relationship as husband and wife.

You forgot one, "storga"

[Boogieman]

I worked. with a fellow that had been married three times. He said never again, next time He would just find a woman He hated and buy Her a house

[OS OK]

I worked. with a fellow that had been married three times. He said never again, next time He would just find a woman He hated and buy Her a house

Had to laugh at this one....dang good strategy!..:bigsmyl2:...

My 3'rd one worked out now 38 years...but, I always said if this one doesn't stick...I'm having my wedding band taken off surgically at the top joint of that finger!

[Hickok]

Been married for 40 years.

I have my wife "just the way she wants me!" [smilie=1:

[facetious]

I worked. with a fellow that had been married three times. He said never again, next time He would just find a woman He hated and buy Her a house

I worked with a guy years ago that after losing two houses he bought a old trailer to live in that way if he ever got married again he didn't have to worry about her taking it.

When woman are checking out the bulge in your pants it's to see how thick your wallet is.

Remember, what is hers is hers and what is yours is hers. And it will all go with the house.

And remember no mater how good she may look some were there are guys tired of putting up with her krap!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4_fj1arvk4

P.S. been married 28 years . When I told someone that thy looked at me and said thy don't even send you to jail that long!

[lightman]

Been married to the same ole Chick for nearly 41 years. Got married right out of high school, at 18. I don't even want to think about the odds of that ever working. A lot of give and take. Some financial struggle at the beginning, with no money and an entry level job. Some challenges along the way with health issues. Now we're both retired and I love her just as much as I did then. I look at some of my friends wives and can't help wondering what they brought to the table.

[jmorris]

Men marry a woman thinking she will never change.

Women marry a man thinking he will change.

The problem lies in the fact that they are both wrong.

[jmorris]

Another thing I have noticed from observation over the years is that they are much like playing fetch with a dog.

The more you chase after them to get the ball the harder they try and keep you from getting it. If you stop running after them and do your own thing, they will come to you and drop it at your feet, even nudging it closer to you if you don't immediately pick it up.

[DAVIDMAGNUM]

I worked with a guy years ago that after losing two houses he bought a old trailer to live in that way if he ever got married again he didn't have to worry about her taking it.

When woman are checking out the bulge in your pants it's to see how thick your wallet is.

Remember, what is hers is hers and what is yours is hers. And it will all go with the house.

And remember no mater how good she may look some were there are guys tired of putting up with her krap!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4_fj1arvk4

P.S. been married 28 years . When I told someone that thy looked at me and said thy don't even send you to jail that long!

What is the most expensive Barbie , the one that comes on a full sized six foot tall pallet ? Divorce Barbie, she comes with ALL of Ken's stuff !

I once had a girlfriend that truly did a dastardly thing that wounded me to my soul.
I asked her to marry me, and damn it she said yes.:(

[PerpetualStudent]

y'know it's a funny thing. I've seen a lot more men screwing over women than vice versa in the dating game. However. The men I've seen who have been screwed over- are hurt a lot more. Women rarely kill themselves over men, but there is a decent percentage of male suicide that is related to a woman. I'm also fond of the saying "nothing quite as hopeless as a man in love".

That said, I remember a course on the classics I read talked about the Greek myths of the origin of women. They conflict but the greeks were ok with that. They both said something true about men and women.

One of the greek myths about the origin of women claims that Zeus wanted to punish mankind. He decided to create women so that man would willingly embrace his punishment.

The other myth is that humans was originally 4 armed and 2 headed, male and female literally one being, and that their power threatened the gods. Zeus, not wanting to be without human worship, split us into our male and female halves and we are cursed to spend our lives trying to find our other half.

I think there's a lot of truth in that pair of myths. Probably because of the simple rule that potential always cuts both ways. However bad marriage and women can be, they could also be good in that same magnitude. Most probably just fall somewhere in between but at its best and at its worst it is something to behold.

[fatelk]

Good post Perpetual Student.

Reading through this thread is interesting to me, mostly because I consider myself something of an amateur student of human nature. One thing that I wonder about is why we generally hold the opinions that we hold. You can have a thread about any number of topics and you will have such diverse and strong opinions on that topic; whether it's the usefulness of powder coating, the quality of Remington rifles or Taurus handguns, the .40 S&W cartridge, rifling twist rate, mold design, etc..

Clearly we base our opinions for the most part on personal experience. If it works for us, others who can't make it work are doing it wrong. If we can't make it work, clearly it's because the product is bad or the process is flawed and unworkable. Had a bad experience with a Remington rifle? You're more likely to hate Remingtons. Got a Taurus you love? You're more likely to think they're great. Went through a bad divorce? You're more likely to believe that marriage as an institution is outdated and fatally flawed.

Not trying to really go anywhere with that; just an observation.

[robg]

My father had some sayings about women ,a woman is only a woman but a good cigars a smoke.
Do right and fear no man ,don't write and fear no woman
At night all cats are grey.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

y'know it's a funny thing. I've seen a lot more men screwing over women than vice versa in the dating game. However. The men I've seen who have been screwed over- are hurt a lot more. Women rarely kill themselves over men, but there is a decent percentage of male suicide that is related to a woman.

It's hard to say just why people commit suicide, and sometimes a miserable family relationship can lie behind what even the deceased thought of as some other problem. I've heard (and tend to believe, without any real evidence) that far more women than men make ostensible suicide attempts, some of them consciously or subconsciously intended to fail - although it can be a pretty risky gesture. But what is certain is that in the US and UK some four times as many men as women actually commit suicide.

There is a Jewish joke (told by Jews themselves, like all the best of them) about Adam asking God to give him a mate, perfect in every way, to accompany him through life.

"All right, but it's going to cost you an arm and a leg."

"What can I get for a rib?"

[Ballistics in Scotland]

Clearly we base our opinions for the most part on personal experience. If it works for us, others who can't make it work are doing it wrong. If we can't make it work, clearly it's because the product is bad or the process is flawed and unworkable. Had a bad experience with a Remington rifle? You're more likely to hate Remingtons. Got a Taurus you love? You're more likely to think they're great. Went through a bad divorce? You're more likely to believe that marriage as an institution is outdated and fatally flawed.


I think most people base their opinions on what they think people will approve of hearing from them.

[fatelk]

Did you base that opinion on personal experience, or a desire for approval? :)

[woodbutcher]

:twisted: If you want to hear something that sums it up real quick,hunt up a song titled"Blues in the night".Might also be titled"My Momma done told me".
Good luck.Have fun.Be safe.
Leo

[NavyVet1959]

My father had some sayings about women ,a woman is only a woman but a good cigars a smoke.

And both will kill you eventually... And with both, it'll usually be a slow, painful death...

[Piedmont]

y'know it's a funny thing. I've seen a lot more men screwing over women than vice versa in the dating game. However. The men I've seen who have been screwed over- are hurt a lot more. Women rarely kill themselves over men, but there is a decent percentage of male suicide that is related to a woman. I'm also fond of the saying "nothing quite as hopeless as a man in love".

Hey, it was just a business deal to one of the parties, to the other it was "true love".

[The Governor]

She has a child older than you, Boy Toy. Wipe your nose and get over.
Btw, what does the daughter look like?:drinks:

[Markbo]

There's only two ways to deal with women.
Neither of them work.

[NavyVet1959]

She has a child older than you, Boy Toy. Wipe your nose and get over.
Btw, what does the daughter look like?:drinks:

Pictures, or it doesn't count...

[leeggen]

Dang some of you sound like you were married to Hilery or the other whacko that was on the campaign trail today with her. I think every judge, that handles divoirces should have to have been thru one before going on the bench. Bet they would hand down different verdicts.
CD

[Blackhawk357]

I have had disagreements with my wife many times over the years especially when it came to the children. I make it a point to never go to bed angry always work it out and I tell her I love her.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[NavyVet1959]

I have had disagreements with my wife many times over the years especially when it came to the children. I make it a point to never go to bed angry always work it out and I tell her I love her.


I figured that was why we had spare bedrooms.

Never went to bed with her while angry -- I slept in a different bed.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

I think every judge, that handles divoirces should have to have been thru one before going on the bench. Bet they would hand down different verdicts.
CD

That is a logic few would apply to some other kinds of case. Being able to stay married provides a useful perspective too.

[dverna]

50% of first marriages end up in divorce. 65% of second marriages wind up the same way.

Of the ones that do not wind up divorced, I suspect a lot of marriages are not "happy" ones. People stay together for a variety of reasons.

If you are in a good marriage, count yourself as one of the few lucky ones.

Don Verna

[NavyVet1959]

50% of first marriages end up in divorce. 65% of second marriages wind up the same way.

Of course, that also means that 50% of all first marriages end in DEATH.

Your choice... Pick carefully... :)

The statistics on that could get a bit convoluted though. It's entirely possible that for one party in the marriage, it is their first marriage, but for another party, it is their second (or more) marriage. So, I guess if you really want to get picky, you need to count each marriage termination twice -- once with respect to the husband, and again with respect to the wife.

[blackthorn]

50% of first marriages end up in divorce. 65% of second marriages wind up the same way.

Of the ones that do not wind up divorced, I suspect a lot of marriages are not "happy" ones. People stay together for a variety of reasons.

If you are in a good marriage, count yourself as one of the few lucky ones.

Don Verna

Yes!! Indeed I do! Second time for both of us but we got it right this time!

[NavyVet1959]

Yes!! Indeed I do! Second time for both of us but we got it right this time! Technically, you won't know that for a *fact* until the time that this marriage ends (either in divorce or death).

[popper]

:popcorn:

[hanleyfan]

keys to staying married, learn these words, Yes Honey, your right sweety, and when she says jump you say how high.

[dtknowles]

keys to staying married, learn these words, Yes Honey, your right sweety, and when she says jump you say how high.

That and when she is in a chatty mood, sit with her and actually listen and don't tell her how to fix her problems unless she asks in clear terms that she wants your help or opinion. Notice when she is trying to look pretty and tell her she is pretty.

Tim

[richhodg66]

keys to staying married, learn these words, Yes Honey, your right sweety, and when she says jump you say how high.

I disagree with that completely. Too many guys buy into that "happy wife, happy life" BS. If your whole existence revolves around making someone else, anybody else happy all the time, you will eventually end up resentful and then it's downhill after that. Seen it many times.

It's about mutual respect, not bending over backwards to kiss someone's butt.

[fatelk]

In some ways I think you're both right. I suspect that The "happy wife" thing really only works well as part of a mutually respectful relationship. My wife appreciates some "Yes dear", but it goes both ways. She's not a doormat and I'm not hen-pecked.

I've had two friends in the past that I specifically remembered had "in charge" wives that ruled the roost. Both are divorced.

Tim, you're right about that. I suspect that a lot of us men fail to understand the value of a listening ear and a sincere compliment.

[dtknowles]

All it seems to take to keep my wife happy is a little of my time spent with her and noticing when she is trying to look pretty for me. But then I keep the bills paid and food in the pantry, I have to live here too.

Tim

[starmac]

I have just read this whole thread and come to the conclusion that some fols apparently live what I would call a miserable life, one way or the other.
I have always said ALL women are crazy, just some are crazier than others, after reading this thread, I am beginning to think the same about men. lol

Winchester you sure opened a can of worms with this thread, and it doesn't even sound like you were ever in a commited relationship with this woman are unhappy with, but more of an 8 year fwb kind of relationship and she decided she wanted more.

[Ballistics in Scotland]

I have just read this whole thread and come to the conclusion that some fols apparently live what I would call a miserable life, one way or the other.


No more than the threads on religion or politics.


II have always said ALL women are crazy, just some are crazier than others, after reading this thread, I am beginning to think the same about men. lol

Like religions and politics both being crazy is not a guarantee of peaceful coexistence. Small differences can be much more harmful than big ones. It has to be the same kind of craziness, or kinds that fit together somehow.

[Blackwater]

BS, that all depends on what particular kind of religion and faith you have. Just having ideas and calling it a "religion" isn't the same as having the real deal. But YMMV, and usually does. One day, you'll realize that religion - the REAL thing - is FAR from "crazy." But it's your decision to make for yourself. The scribes and pharisees used to think they knew more than Christ did. So did the Romans. It didn't work out quite like they thought it would.

[historicfirearms]

I disagree with that completely. Too many guys buy into that "happy wife, happy life" BS. If your whole existence revolves around making someone else, anybody else happy all the time, you will eventually end up resentful and then it's downhill after that. Seen it many times.

It's about mutual respect, not bending over backwards to kiss someone's butt.


I couldn't agree more. If you have to make her happy and jump when she says jump, probably best to jump right away from that situation.

[mold maker]

A happy wife is no guarantee of a happy life, but Not trying to keep her reasonably happy is a surely miserable life.

[DoubleAdobe]

A happy wife is no guarantee of a happy life, but Not trying to keep her reasonably happy is a surely miserable life.
I believe that is a fact.

[starmac]

Going by some of the thoughts in this thread, it is easy to understand why some women are ball busters, or even dykes. lol

[Ballistics in Scotland]

Going by some of the thoughts in this thread, it is easy to understand why some women are ball busters, or even dykes. lol

I've thought so many a time, and that it starts when they are just daughters. Or even worse, spend their lives crushed and spiritless.

[NavyVet1959]

I've thought so many a time, and that it starts when they are just daughters. Or even worse, spend their lives crushed and spiritless.

I remember reading a news article awhile back where the government had spent a lot of money on a study to determine why lesbians are more likely to be overweight than straight women. It seemed pretty obvious to me that they just weren't looking at it in the right manner. If you look at it in reverse, then it's pretty obvious -- overweight women are less likely to find men, so they end up turning to women for "company".

[Ballistics in Scotland]

I have seen a good many men on the internet who bore all the marks of having difficulty finding female company. Not pointing at anyone here, of course... I mean all those other threads. So by the same logic...

On this thread, of course, many of the participants have no difficulty in keeping long-term relationships despite being men who will never touch their toes again, or perhaps even see them. Could it be because women, of whatever persuasion, are more inclined to value the character within?

[rockrat]

Only difficulty when I was younger was finding GOOD female company. The kind you want to get to know better, but on a non-physical basis (course, that other part a bonus)
The one I have now, 25+ years, was a diamond in the rough. She is one of a kind, hope she keeps me!! We both try and give more love than we hope to get.

[NavyVet1959]

I have seen a good many men on the internet who bore all the marks of having difficulty finding female company. Not pointing at anyone here, of course... I mean all those other threads. So by the same logic...

On this thread, of course, many of the participants have no difficulty in keeping long-term relationships despite being men who will never touch their toes again, or perhaps even see them. Could it be because women, of whatever persuasion, are more inclined to value the character within?

Its kind of funny that it seems to work entirely the opposite for men. The gay men tend to be physically fit and concerned with how they look. Hell, even their *socks* match! :)

Maybe the gay men are more "in touch" with their feminine side and as such, they care what they look like, whereas lesbians are more "in touch" with their masculine side and as such, don't care how they look?

-- heterosexual male slob, and damned proud of it! --

[popper]

they are smarter than ME. https://www.scribd.com/document/329111385/Clinton-s-State-Department-Waste-and-Mismanagement#from_embed
She didn't get caught.

[johnson1942]

ive said this before and i will say it again. the best of women are at least 31 different women. for the days of the month. when a man learns what women they wake up to it gets to be a good relationship. then we can adapt. let them talk when they want to talk. it dont make any difference if it is your wife or your daughters. let them talk when they want to talk. give them some space. my wife love to take off her shoes and socks and leave them by the big chair. i dont mind picking them up, im a neat freak but i give her room in this. one has to learn how to hold and when to fold with a women and then it can be a good relationship.

[NavyVet1959]

my wife love to take off her shoes and socks and leave them by the big chair.

It seemed like it took me *forever* to train my wife to not leave her bras hanging on various doorknobs and such throughout the house. Funny how women are able to take their bras off without taking their shirts off.

[mold maker]

It took me forever, to teach my wife, not to let me make choices, that she would make me regret.
Guess I was a slow learner, but thank goodness she was patient.

[DoubleAdobe]

I'll let you boys in on the cowboy Socrates. He not only wrote and had the best version of Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys, but he wrote and had a hit with this one. Ed Bruce, and he was so cool he starred with Jimmy Garner in a remake of Maverick sometime in the 70's. So cool it aint even right.
Here is the video about what we were talking about. They start learning when they're babies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmSSocyzsCY