Lost a good friend

[fatelk]

A good friend of mine passed away yesterday. He was way too young, not even 60. He was a good man, one of the best I've ever known. You'd have to look a long time to find a more honest, sincere, God-fearing, hard-working individual. He leaves behind a wife of 30 years, 11 children, 9 grandchildren, and a very large extended family who will all miss him greatly. He was a fair bit older than me and influenced me a lot at a point in my life when I needed some direction. I know for a fact that there are many other people who knew him that can say the same thing.

Life really is short. Anyone else find that life isn't what you thought it was when you were young? My own focus at this point in life is raising my kids. I've been finding my self more and more wondering what I'm doing when I spend hours in my garage or reloading room, casting, loading, or tinkering. More and more I'm seriously thinking about getting rid of 80% of my "stuff": guns, gear, molds, etc., and focusing more on what actually matters in life.

I know that may seem like sacrilege here; it's just where I'm at right now. That's not a judgment on what anyone else should do, just a bit of personal re-evaluation. Life is short. I need to go hug my kids.

[Teddy (punchie)]

Sorry for the loss of your friend.

I like to hunt. Love the kiddo's. Trying to make them part of the reloading and hunting, shooting, etc. We need time to play with the kids. At 48 just getting over back strain, back to a little running yesterday playing around after there soccer game. They are 9 years old girls and we had a fun time today ruff housing and playing in the blankets. Daddy made out okay, almost broke a pair of reading glasses, lab top but was all good fun.

Got make time for fun. There's and yours.

[osteodoc08]

No, you're not alone in thinking time can be better spent doing what really matters in life.

I haven't been able to cast in a few months because of obligation to work and family. But I know I'll get around to it and enjoy it. So I don't sell off my stuff. Plus as the kids get older it will be something to do together and build memories.

I lost my father at the young age of 57. It was a tough little pill to swallow and I miss him daily. But I also try to make sure I do things right by my family and kids. You only have one chance.

Sorry for your loss. I know it's hard. Prayers sent for comfort and peace of mind.

[Houndog]

Fatelk,
Your posting about your friend is the best testament of his life that anyone could ever hope for. I'm sure he is looking down upon you beaming with pride and I'm sure he will be sorely missed by many people he touched during his all too short life. May GOD in his infinate wisdom bless you and comfort all in this trying time.

[runfiverun]

your hobby is important to you or you wouldn't do it.
and being alone for some peace and quiet is good for you.
if you can get the kids involved with the process or just to go shooting with you, that is some of the best together time there is.
I remind myself any time is our time, ice cream for a half hour, a car ride out to look for rock chucks, whatever.
this song always puts it in perspective for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IheODRwalEw

[Blackwater]

Selling off the bulk of your stuff is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When the kids are gone and out on their own, it'll be a real good way to lure them back for some more good family time. So I'd recommend keeping it. Maybe put it away for a while, but you never really know when this stuff might be really handy to have around. I'd never sell mine. Ever.

With all that's going on in the world today, being able to make your own bullets and ammo ain't something I'd want to get rid of. Just me, of course, but FWIW.

[4719dave]

I'm sorry for your loss ....You never know what's gods got planned .Hugs those kids :2_high5:..With all that's going on in the world today, being able to make your own bullets and ammo ain't something I'd want to get rid of. Ditto ..I wish my boys would get interested in casting .. I guess for now range time is good ..

[rl69]

Sorry for your loss

prayers sent

[Hogtamer]

The better part of maturity is what you just described. Solomon said it like this: To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven. Hug the wife too.

[C. Latch]

Life really is short. Anyone else find that life isn't what you thought it was when you were young? My own focus at this point in life is raising my kids. I've been finding my self more and more wondering what I'm doing when I spend hours in my garage or reloading room, casting, loading, or tinkering. More and more I'm seriously thinking about getting rid of 80% of my "stuff": guns, gear, molds, etc., and focusing more on what actually matters in life.

I know that may seem like sacrilege here; it's just where I'm at right now. That's not a judgment on what anyone else should do, just a bit of personal re-evaluation. Life is short. I need to go hug my kids.


I'm sorry for your loss.


I have been through, and continue going through, a similar process with regard to toys, hobbies, and family time. I've figured out, at a minimum, that I have no time for collecting stuff I'm not going to use.

[Don Purcell]

Isn't that the way it goes? You have person that is loved and a peach to everyone and they are taken away far too soon. But then the pricks and jerks just keep living on.

[fatelk]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the good words and perspective.

We're going to pack up the family and make the four hour trek to go to the service next weekend. I have no doubt there will be literally hundreds of people there. If the measure of success in life is the people who care about you and the positive influence you've had on others, then Ben was successful beyond measure.


I've figured out, at a minimum, that I have no time for collecting stuff I'm not going to use.
Isn't that the truth? On top of that, I've been feeling guilty for a while now anytime I spend more than just a little bit of money or time on myself. That's OK, though; my priorities are changing. I won't sell off all my stuff by any means, but I think I will thin it out to some degree or another, and be much more selective in what I accumulate.

[smokeywolf]

Your kids see you active in this hobby. Someday you'll have gone on to meet your maker and all your gear will belong to your children. If they adopt your interest and hobby, when they use the same pot(s), sizer(s), press(es) and measure(s) you used, they'll feel close to you. Don't deprive them of that.

I have a few shooting and reloading goodies given to me by my father before he passed on. I use them pretty regularly. Even the hand tools, pliers and such, that he gave me remind me of him and the good times.

I have a lot more tools than my dad had. I also have sons who will inherit those tools. The way I see it, I'm just the conservator of those tools. I'm keeping them safe and in good shape for my sons and their offspring.

[w5pv]

Sorry for the lost prayers sent for his family and you.

[JonB_in_Glencoe]

fatelk, I think you are making the correct decision.

About 2 decades ago, I unconsciously started turning my shooting hobby into a collecting hobby, I told myself it was an investment, I was putting most of my "extra" income into it, but it just became too much. Just over a year ago, I made the big decision to sell the excess. Let me tell you, it felt real good (although I did buy one rifle back).

A large collection "can" become more work than you'd think.

[Boaz]

I'm sorry you lost a good friend , they can not be replaced .

[buckwheatpaul]

fatelk, I am very sorry for your loss. A good friend is like a fine old bottle of wine...just gets better with time. We have been decluttering our lives and life is better but it is good to reflect on what is important and choose carefully. Good friends are always better than stuff!

Father, fatelk lost a very good friend today....please comfort him and help him reflect on that special relationship that they had. Father, comfort his friends family and his other friends. They will miss and long for him but You can bridge that gap and comfort and strengthen all involved parties.

[victorfox]

I'm sorry for the loss. Every time we lose a loved one makes us think about what life is worth. Don't believe getting rid of your "stuff" will make any good. As others pointed they can belong some day to your children. Of course spend some time with them, make them take part of your hobby and they will always say "once upon a time... My dad/grandpa had a room with tools and guns... We shot etc... Look this gun was my grandpa favorite etc." Of course I'm assuming you're not obsessed with your hobby. I for example have a lot of good time with the little nephews (have no kids yet) take the older one to airgunning, make him toys, play videogames etc. He likes me and I like him a lot. The other is a toddler who makes about everything he sees m doing. I also spend a lot of time with grandpa (wife's -- mine are all deceased) and he enjoys telling me over and over the same tales. There is a time for everything and giving up what you like (shooting etc) only will make more unhappy. You need that time alone doing your stuff to be better with your family. I bet a dollar you leave a lot of worries and stress at the range and derive a lot of pleasure making your own ammunition. My best regards to you and your family. God bless you all.

[gray wolf]

Very sorry to hear about your loss.
It's never easy.

Sam

[fatelk]

What a great group of folks here; thanks again for the kind words and encouragement.

I was pretty emotional when I started this thread. I know it's going to be ok. I feel so much for his family, wish there was more I could say or do. The whole extended family has been like family to me over the decades, closer than some of my own family. Just really good people.

Loss is a part of life, and I know many here have experienced much more loss than myself. I really do appreciate the sympathy and understanding. The other side of the issue has been facing my own mortality and what I should really be doing with my life. So many people focus on the wrong things in life and end up missing out on a whole lot. I'm just trying to find my balance. I appreciate the thoughts and advice there too. Clearly I'm far from the only one who's thought deeply about these things. :)

[opos]

It takes a long time to grow old friends....there is a little poem simply called "the Dash"...it's about important things vs not so important things..hoping they will read it at my funeral and that I can be remembered for living out my "dash" to the fullest...if you haven't seen it..it's worth looking at.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsY6UrFIsNs