Help desk calling about your computer?

[Sghinds]

I figured I would write this real quick to let those who may not be very tech savvy know.

In the last few weeks, I have been called 3 times by the "service desk" "Microsoft" etc, letting me know that my computer is having errors and they are going to help me fix it. They ask you to hit the Windows key (bottom left key with "flag" on it)and the R key which brings up the run box. Or they ask to go to a certain website. Please hang up on these folks, and do not panic about your computer having problems. Some may know but others may not, but these are scams and they are not there to help you.

I am actually a computer guy, so I get to play with them for as long as they will stay on the phone with me. My wife says I am childish, but I enjoy coming up with different things to make them stop talking. Last guy I asked if the errors were from the goat movies I was watching that my wife gets upset about. He was at a loss for words for a minute, said thats nice, and then hung up.

[RogerDat]

The bad people trying to hack into or exploit your computer are really all about stealing money these days. Calling to get you to install the malware or Trojan that lets them do it is a new one.

I bet you are one of those guys that offer to adopt the Nigerian orphan of the former finance minister with millions in the bank too. :bigsmyl2:

The other one making the rounds is phone calls from law enforcement or IRS that demand immediate payment to avoid warrants or legal action. If I get that call I may claim either that we don't need to worry about the stinking warrant we own the DA and the Judge, or for the IRS that the profits from selling those kidneys and that heart were perfectly legal. I had signed consent waivers from the victims, I mean donors.

[Sghinds]

If I get emails, I usually just delete them. Its only if they call me on the phone that will spend a bit of time playing with them. The last call I got, I was transferred to 3 different people. I think me bringing up porn movies and goats got them wondering who the hell they may have called. Last guy I think caught on after about 8 minutes then hung up.

[jcwit]

I always tell them that I do not own a computer.

[bangerjim]

It is total BS. MS has absolutely ZERO idea what is going on in your computer. The errors they tell you about are normal Windows function codes. The "unique" ID code they give you that they say is the serial number of your computer is a number that is in ALL Windows computers! There are not 10 of thousands of "infections" in your software. And your virus scanner is NOT running in the demo mode! Do some studying on the net and you find even more stupid stories they dupe people with.

They just want to get inside and trick you to buy their services. Do not fall for it. they always have an American name and an Indian accent!!!!!!!!! As Jonny 5's programmer said: "I am so excited I am standing beside myself!" (thick Indian accent implied).

Watch out for "AMMYY" files and extensions and iterations of that letter grouping. Totally bogus and may contain Trojans, worms, malware, ransomware, and viruses.

I tell them I do not have a computer. Heck, I tell them I have dirt floors and kerosene lamps.

.....click......

NEVER open an attachment in an email you do not know. I get emails from banks I don't even have accounts with saying my account has a problem and I need to open the following link. BS.

Do not open .eml, .doc, .html, .xls, .txt files from emails you do not know. One click and----if you do not have a good protection scanner------you are infected.
End of story.

banger

[Sghinds]

All good points Banger. Another one going around right now is an infected word document. IT contains a Macro, and when you enable it, it encrypts your hard drive. Only way to get past it, is to pay up or reinstall your operating system. Had one person here at work fall for it.

[Wayne Smith]

I don't know, maybe something is going around. In the past two weeks I have sent eight emails to spoof@paypal.com. Prior to that I hadn't had one in years.

[reddog81]

Tell them you want to meet about it over dinner, or ask them what kind of movies they like.
A while ago I had a credit refinance company calling me again and again. I explained to them on numerous occasions I had no credit card debt and to take me off their call list. Eventually I just started hitting on the gals that would call. They were from India or somewhere near there and had no idea what was going on. Eventually a manager who must have been listening for Quality Control got on the phone and started yelling at me for sexually harassing her employees. I received no more calls after that. Funny things is I wasn't even harassing them, just acting like some dude desperate for attention.

[Sghinds]

reddog81, I think that will be my next MO when/if I get another call. I will hit on the guy and see how far he lets it go. Maybe hitting on them is the way to get off the call list. Wish they were ladies, but all of the ones who call me have been men :-(

[bwgdog]

Anybody had any contact with Ron at Octopus Solutions ? I have gotten calls from them . tia bwgdog

[merlin101]

reddog81, I think that will be my next MO when/if I get another call. I will hit on the guy and see how far he lets it go. Maybe hitting on them is the way to get off the call list. Wish they were ladies, but all of the ones who call me have been men :-(
So, Hit on them too. just use your imagination, you can do it!

[quilbilly]

I have gotten that same call twice and they are quite aggressive. They hang up quickly if you say something doesn't sound right.

[DerekP Houston]

They still keep calling me....I just ask them "which PC" until they give up, I've got 4-5 on at anytime running different OS. I'd hang up on em even if it was a legit "help desk"...I can google the solution just as fast.

[Rufus Krile]

I try to keep 'em on the phone as long as I can... they're paid only if they 'score' and the longer I can play 'em the less they can make. My record to date is 45 minutes. If I'm short of time, I let them run the limit before I tell them that a 'Windows Fix' probably wouldn't do much for my Mac... I DO like the idea of sexually harassing them, however. That may be the next ploy. What can they do?

[gwpercle]

I figured I would write this real quick to let those who may not be very tech savvy know.

In the last few weeks, I have been called 3 times by the "service desk" "Microsoft" etc, letting me know that my computer is having errors and they are going to help me fix it. They ask you to hit the Windows key (bottom left key with "flag" on it)and the R key which brings up the run box. Or they ask to go to a certain website. Please hang up on these folks, and do not panic about your computer having problems. Some may know but others may not, but these are scams and they are not there to help you.

I am actually a computer guy, so I get to play with them for as long as they will stay on the phone with me. My wife says I am childish, but I enjoy coming up with different things to make them stop talking. Last guy I asked if the errors were from the goat movies I was watching that my wife gets upset about. He was at a loss for words for a minute, said thats nice, and then hung up.

I really enjoy jerking the scammers chains too...it's a fun hobby.
Pretend you are deaf, and your hearing aids are going out....keep getting them to repeat things louder each time , until they are shouting into the phone....after a while they get disgusted with your jerking them around...sooooo much fun !

[BrassMagnet]

I really enjoy jerking the scammers chains too...it's a fun hobby.
Pretend you are deaf, and your hearing aids are going out....keep getting them to repeat things louder each time , until they are shouting into the phone....after a while they get disgusted with your jerking them around...sooooo much fun !

Just remember they can harass you by calling the law on you. I really like the hearing aid line. For me it is even legit. Please speak louder! My phone volume is as loud as it goes. My hearing aids just don't do enough any more. Louder, please! I really want to fix my computer! Louder, please, so I know what to do so you can help me! Louder! Louder!

[montana_charlie]

I would be wondering how they got my phone number ...

[Beerd]

it's in the book

[bubba.50]

seems all I ever get anymore are the computerized voices so I cant even mess with them. just a little while ago I got about my 200th "this is your second and final notice" about how they want to help me reduce my credit-card debt "before the next billing cycle". I used to patiently listen to their entire sales pitch & when they finally ran down & asked if I wanted whatever awesome deal they were offerin' I would say "did I call you?" this always got a huh? type response so i'd repeat it. when they would finally say "well no" I tell them that should have been your first clue.

[bangerjim]

I would be wondering how they got my phone number ...

90% chance you are listed in the book - as said.

90% chance you have a computer that runs MS stuff.

So...............the odds are against you! Just use common sense when getting these stupid calls. And the ALL speak with an Indian accent.

[scarry scarney]

They have called me at work the other day, I kept asking him for his user ID, and machine name. He asked why, and I explained so I could log into his computer and reset his password. He quickly hung up.

[FISH4BUGS]

I had an email from a company in Japan that wanted some legal help collecting a debt. I do consulting work for law firms and that must have been how they got my email address.
I responded with my name, which made up was Maurice Howard, and the Law Firm of Dewey Cheatem and Howe. 3 Stooges fans will get that one.
I used my PO box and got copies of their contracts, etc. and carried on quite a correspondence with them. I insisted, for legal reasons, that all documents cannot be emailed, they must be mailed to the PO Box.
Eventually, they said I would get a check from the debtor as settlement. I received a check in the mail for $480,000 as a settlement from the debtor. They had to send me two checks because the "....first one never got here" just to jerk them around.
The scam was to deposit the check (drawn on a bank is France), then in a few days tell me that the settlement was off and return the money. Since I had deposited the money already, I would have to write a check from my own "law firm" account. Since it would have to come from my own trust account, but they said keep $20,000 for my efforts. The count on the lag time on the settlement check to take weeks to determine it was fake. Meanwhile they have my money and run with it.
The settlement check is framed on the wall in my office. The bank manager was howling laughing knowing full well who Dewey Cheatem and Howe was.
Quite funny.

[bubba.50]

we used to get calls from one of the outfits tryin' to sell us some kind of miracle-windows. no matter how many times we politely said no thanks a week or so later they'd call again. then one time off the top of her head the wife put on her best hillbilly drawl & said "n-o-o-o mah husband says if that greased paper was good enuff fer his maw it's good enough fer me". guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back as they never called again.

[wills]

I had an email from a company in Japan that wanted some legal help collecting a debt. I do consulting work for law firms and that must have been how they got my email address.
I responded with my name, which made up was Maurice Howard, and the Law Firm of Dewey Cheatem and Howe. 3 Stooges fans will get that one.
I used my PO box and got copies of their contracts, etc. and carried on quite a correspondence with them. I insisted, for legal reasons, that all documents cannot be emailed, they must be mailed to the PO Box.
Eventually, they said I would get a check from the debtor as settlement. I received a check in the mail for $480,000 as a settlement from the debtor. They had to send me two checks because the "....first one never got here" just to jerk them around.
The scam was to deposit the check (drawn on a bank is France), then in a few days tell me that the settlement was off and return the money. Since I had deposited the money already, I would have to write a check from my own "law firm" account. Since it would have to come from my own trust account, but they said keep $20,000 for my efforts. The count on the lag time on the settlement check to take weeks to determine it was fake. Meanwhile they have my money and run with it.
The settlement check is framed on the wall in my office. The bank manager was howling laughing knowing full well who Dewey Cheatem and Howe was.
Quite funny.

There was a big law firm in San Antonio that got taken with a similar scam.

[Pipefitter]

The best one I ever had was a call offering to extend the warranty on my car. I pressed 1 to speak with a "agent" and was soon connected to a living human. I said "That's awesome, you guys are going to extend the warranty on a 19 year old car with 235,000 miles on it? Sign me up!!" The next thing i heard was the dial tone.........

[fatnhappy]

I was sort of bored the last time Paki called around christmas so........

I told him my company was looking for a new IT manager and since his bona fides as a microsoft employee were solid, send me a resume. I gave him a hotmail email that I only use for online purchase and creating logins (guaranteed spam collector). I also told him my company sponsors H1N1 visas and I could use and employee to liason with our web development team in India.

Doesn't the moron send me a resume. I posted his email on craigslist in LA missed connections. "You had a wide stance in the mens room at LAX. My wife doesn't know. I couldn't help but notice.... pictures welcome"

[rondog]

I wish I had a button I could push to make their heads explode.....

[NavyVet1959]

I just tell them that I'm on a landline and need to switch rooms and boot up the computer, so I'll need to put them on hold while I do it. I put them on hold and go do something else. Eventually, they hang up and the line clears.

I tired asking one of them if anyone was ever stupid enough to fall for that MS Support Line crap, but they just hung up on me.

[woodbutcher]

:bigsmyl2: I have a sure fire way to deal with those morons.I just tell them that I will contact one of my cousins that did code work for the people that he used to work for,and just recently retired from the agency.When they ask what agency,I reply the DEA.It will get REAL quiet on the other end,and then,,,,,,,,,,,,,a dial tone.The last rinky dink call like that was about a year ago.And yes,I do have a cousin that recently retired from the DEA after 35 years service as a field officer.Hehehe.
Good luck.Have fun.Be safe.
Leo

[bosterr]

I get calls from India all the time. When I use to answer the phone their English was so bad I can't even understand them. Then when I did actually pick up the phone I would bombard them with the foulest line of cursing I could think of, man or woman. Their English was good enough they understood what I said, CLICK!

[GhostHawk]

When they first called claiming to be from MS I said, ok prove it.

If you are from MS and you have errors from my computer you have my computer ID number. Those are in specific ranges. The number for Win 95 will be different from Win 7, etc. Tell me what version of Windows I am running and I will listen. In short called his bluff, he weaseled, I hung up.

Then I started answering them with " It is Achmed from Afganistan for you hon" Did not go over well.
But they kept calling. Some weeks quiet, some weeks 2-3 calls. One week it was every day.

One night my wife pops up. " I think I have figured it out, you are their graduation exercise.
If they can get more than 6 words out of you they graduate. Only get 5, go back and practice more.

Since then I have gotten more creative, and apparently they have moved on to easier targets.

But there will be another class, they will be back. My only problem, my really inventive swearing takes more than 5 words.

"South end of a north bound camel" fail, "blue bird of paradise fly up your nose, die, rot, and smell bad" mega fail.

Have to wing it I guess.

[nvbirdman]

I kept them on the line for about ten minutes while my computer was slowly booting up, and then told them I would just take it in to someplace locally to get it fixed.

[xs11jack]

I have had the IRS, the Microsoft, several times and they are starting to get boring so I will use some of your seggestions. But the one that took the cake for me, I live in MO. was a car dealer from he said, from EL Paso, Texas and wanted to sell me a new car. I told him I was from Mo. and that made him talk louder and faster. I hung up on him and in that one day he called back 6 times. None of my friends said anything about pranking me so I don't understand this lame brain at all.
Ole Jack

[MT Gianni]

I ask how the weather is in Pakistan, then follow with first I need there name and a credit card # so I can verify who they are. THey hang up quickly.